FMW DISTORTION 11.2 RESULTS!!!!!!!!

I <3 Jacqueline Hyde...it's great to see FMW's NPC characters getting a healthy dose of personality. Although her calling Dunn a "Raven-haired love god" was a bit much haha.

I'm not even sure why I said that but I seem really fascinated with lyrics lately. I dig this.


Apathy, this one seems to speak to you a bit.


In other news, I want Jacqueline Hyde.

iDeAndes wrote:

But remember that just like that...

*snap*

Your relevance could end in an instant.

Did someone say... relevance?

Romeo wrote:

iDeAndes wrote:

But remember that just like that...

*snap*

Your relevance could end in an instant.

Did someone say... relevance?

Yep someone did.... looks like yours just got taken.

Fun Fact: I took Abel's relevance, momentum, and spirit at Lethal Injection.

Write it down, might be on a future test.

After I ran down Christopher Austin, he was never the same human being again.

Don't try to take credit for something that had very little to do with you. Abel Steele took away Abel Steele's spirit and momentum long before Lethal Injection.

Austin could not even take away the spirit of a corpse.

The Celt wrote:

I <3 Jacqueline Hyde...it's great to see FMW's NPC characters getting a healthy dose of personality. Although her calling Dunn a "Raven-haired love god" was a bit much haha.

She called Dunnwood a raven haired love god, god, pay attention.

Actually, I'm going to talk about Miss Hyde some more, because if it wasn't obvious/known, I did write both of her segments.

In my head, it sounded more like a vinyl record player skipping than someone suffering from torrets, and I felt that was the best way of doing it;

"I think Matt Dunn is a wrestling godgodgodgodgoddamn I fucking hate Matt Dunn."
"I think Matt Dunn is a wrestling goddamn I fucking hate Matt Dunn."

I went with option one, it's the one I prefered, it reads slight better as well, option two sounds two awkward in my head to actually say.

I just hope people can roll with it, whatever Distortion staff decide to do with her, (And she is very flexible to write.) That way, like Cactus Sam, we can keep her consistant across the board, which helps the show quality.

I'd love to see in a few shows when all the Distortion wrestlers are used to her little personality switches,
I'm also interested in people from say, Ammunition in a match over at Distortion; they've already been taken out of their comfort zone and thrown into a match completely unlike what they're used to, but then they get bombarded by this strange woman ontop.

It really gives Distortion the feel of an Asylum, or maybe that creepy haunted house on top of the hill.

As I said, I'm very happy with her as it stands.

Romeo wrote:

After I ran down Christopher Austin, he was never the same human being again.

You never ran me down. You tried. Since then I've been kicking your ass, among others. But no, I haven't been the same since you showed the world you couldn't hit a human with a car. I mean if Rikishi could do it, you could too right?

Abel Steele wrote:

Don't try to take credit for something that had very little to do with you. Abel Steele took away Abel Steele's spirit and momentum long before Lethal Injection.

Right because before hand you weren't the Gold Card holder with big wins over CXC and Smitten, and after I pinned you with the MoC DDT and right after you were all on your knees, metaphorically begging me to beautify you with my Jesus Jizz while you were screaming "Thank you daddy, thank you for my Moment of Clarity! I was wrong for wanting to be the hero, I should've known my role! Don't hurt me anymore, I'll be good!!!"

With your bitch ass.

Romeo wrote:

Austin could not even take away the spirit of a corpse.

Of course not. It's no longer there. You know, if you want our plans to work I suggest you actually use the flashes of intelligence you have in a more constructive manner.


Oops, did I let something slip out?

iDeAndes wrote:

David GS wrote:

iDeAndes wrote:

Apathy: The guy who beat your tag partner and is going to win the Gold Card Gauntlet.

Yyyyeah-huh. Good joke, bro.

Apathy: Y'sure you really want to engage me, hombre? I don't really have a problem with you. That's probably because I just see you as "there" and nothing of real importance but...

We can remain "chums" so long as you never speak directly to me or about me again.

After carefully (read: not carefully) considering your offer, I've decided that yes, I do want to engage you. Now or later, right? But I'm getting beside myself - listen up, Pedo, and listen good: that Gold Card? It's coming home with me, and there's nothing you can say or do that will change that.

OOC: Now that I've gotten a promo score higher than 8.20 (in other words, proving that I can hang with some of you seasoned vets), expect my TT to pick up in terms of both quantity and quality

OOC: I poo 8.2's, just sayin'. I kid, welcome to the big leagues man.

IC: Oh come on, another clusterfuck title I'm never going to be entered to win. How the hell am I ever going to earn my FMW Title rematch?

This place is racist against Nova Scotians.

David GS wrote:

After carefully (read: not carefully) considering your offer, I've decided that yes, I do want to engage you. Now or later, right? But I'm getting beside myself - listen up, Pedo, and listen good: that Gold Card? It's coming home with me, and there's nothing you can say or do that will change that.

You know, it's lines like this that make me yearn for you to drop a fall. Hell, I'll even volunteer to be the guy with the taser.

Also, "pedo" is not the preferred nomenclature. Incestuous American, please.

Alex O'Rion wrote:

OOC: I poo 8.2's, just sayin'. I kid, welcome to the big leagues man.

IC: Oh come on, another clusterfuck title I'm never going to be entered to win. How the hell am I ever going to earn my FMW Title rematch?

This place is racist against Nova Scotians.

OOC: Well then I suppose it's good that I can beat an 8.2, isn't it? Lol and thanks - just feels good to know I can score higher than that since I'm in the Gauntlet with De and frickin' Kaoru.

IC: Seeing as FMW Title opportunities are more often than not given to those who deserve them, I recommend you keep doin' what you're doin'. And to the noob who decided to try and correct my grammar (I think it's Matt something-or-other?), cram it, otherwise I'll be the one choking a bitch.

*facepalm*

Alright, then. I suppose I'll just hammer out these fallacies in order.

Number one: Not a "noob". Excellent swing and miss, though.

Number two: I made no attempt to correct your grammar. Merely your terminology. That's cool, though, I guess we can't all have managed to finish high school.

Number three: "Cram it". That's just dandy. Just real fine shit-talking. As for that fumbling excuse for a threat, you're welcome to give that a go, junior. I'd gladly quell your "Next Big Thing" hype for you. And hey, when I'm done strangling you, you'll still be able to crow about not having been pinned in an FMW ring! Well...when the damage to your larynx clears up, that is. Everybody wins.

What can I say? I'm a giver.

OOC: Dunn, Apathy's bio says his neice was underage when he started his 'implied' relationship with her, get off my case.

IC: Is it weird that neither of you really intimidate me?

It's not hype, Ford, it's reality. I'm not the best trash-talker in the world - I have no problem admitting that. But having a way with words has never won anyone a match or a championship, and in all likelihood never will. That's why it doesn't matter how completely you dissect my insults and arguments; when it comes time to nut up or shut up, I'll be doing the former and you'll be doing the latter.

Get it? It means I'm better than you and I'll whip your non-noob ass accordingly.

But hey, you're not the only one who's in a giving mood. The card for 11.3 is still up in the air, so if you think you're the one to knock me down a peg, go ahead and try. But I'm gonna warn you now: better wrestlers than you have tried and failed.

iDeAndes wrote:

OOC: I faced Bryson O.o

David GS wrote:

iDeAndes wrote:

Apathy: The guy who beat your tag partner and is going to win the Gold Card Gauntlet.

Yyyyeah-huh. Good joke, bro.

Apathy: Y'sure you really want to engage me, hombre? I don't really have a problem with you. That's probably because I just see you as "there" and nothing of real importance but...

We can remain "chums" so long as you never speak directly to me or about me again.

Omega wrote:

I'm not the shittiest friend ever, I'm a realist and I realize that Mark has been on a losing slide lately. Every since he lost to Jaro he hasn't been the same, I am friend enough to understand that. Mark is my brother in arms, he's one of my best friends along with Aidan and Heath.

I'd do anything to help them, they all know this...but I also understand that out of the four I've managed to beat Heath Twice, I've managed to beat Mark once, and each time it has been a great match. I don't throw them under the bus, I just simply openly speak up about their struggles.

I am not in charge of recruiting for the Saints, the ones I recruited are the ones on my side of the line...Mark Johannson and Apostasy.

I guess you could say we have The Broken Saints Blue and The Broken Saints Green, instead of one mega stable we're more of like two broken down condensed groups based on skills. The Broken Saints Blue would be your more technical wrestlers who chain wrestle circles around others, while The Broken Saints Green would be the guys who simply go out of their way to bring the fight or brawling to you.

Really quite simple stuff.

Why did you feel a need to break down what each faction of the Saints specialized in and prior to that make this about you? You do throw your friends under a bus, Seth. Because every time you need a witty comeback to save ass and show face, you reference one of them and compare them to yourself. I didn't think I was hot potatoes because I beat Mark. I knew prior to my match with Mark I was gifted with a propensity for violence. Four different men have felt this. Three of which from each of FMW's various divisions. I'm so dominant, I span the entire FMW. Not just one little segment of it that you seem to contain yourself into. I don't have a single color that can contain me, Seth. I'm just a fucking animal. And I have yet to be proven otherwise.

Meanwhile, you're blessed with countless shot after shot. I s'pose one out of three ain't bad, hoss. You made the most of your little dance with the two Dunns and I'll tip my hat to you on that one. But remember that just like that...

*snap*

Your relevance could end in an instant. You know full well of what I speak. The heartache and disappointment of your well-documented pleas for the Television Title. Only to lose to War Machine who is about as marketable as canned shit. What happened then? You tumbled into a spiraling free-fall of mediocrity. Chance helped you in this outing, Seth. Or rather odds did. Matthew P. Dunn is more accomplished and talented in his pinky toe than you are. And that gets to you as you are always fighting with a little chip on your shoulder for being the outcast of your little family. Please. Mention your paper-thin championship list one more time for the benefit of your own self-worth. I ain't buyin' what your pitchin', hoss. You fear the uncertainty of non-acceptance and when your fifteen minutes of fame fizzle out, you'll be back at square one. Which goes a little like this.

You really are just a tiny minded man who spouts off random ejaculatory blanket statements that in no way are related to what's being discussed. You are prone to anger. With a short temper and even shorter attention span, focus or drive aren't really your strong suits. You are surrounded by a group of people constantly attempting to keep you in check. Be it by protecting you from saying too much or finding the right words to convince others you know what you're saying, you have not operated on your own success so much as you have on the success or ideals of others. You have absolutely no identity and hide behind the fact that you are representing any cause that pays well. Defeating the exact purpose of Broken Saints to be an altruistic gang of semi-good guys working towards a goal of repairing a broken system.

Maybe I should just put the Broken Saints out of its misery and show you how a real soldier of fortune operates.

Pick each of you a part piece by piece and brick by brick to show you just how fragile your concept of loyalty and friendship really is. Its sad that a man with an almost utter lack of morals has to teach you how to be a friend.

Shameful thing, lobster head. Shame-ful thing.

Zzzzz

Zzzzz

Zzzz...wha?

Oh, cool story bro.

OOC: /\ Love that line, use it all the time.

Omega wrote:

iDeAndes wrote:

OOC: I faced Bryson O.o

David GS wrote:

iDeAndes wrote:

Apathy: The guy who beat your tag partner and is going to win the Gold Card Gauntlet.

Yyyyeah-huh. Good joke, bro.

Apathy: Y'sure you really want to engage me, hombre? I don't really have a problem with you. That's probably because I just see you as "there" and nothing of real importance but...

We can remain "chums" so long as you never speak directly to me or about me again.

Omega wrote:

I'm not the shittiest friend ever, I'm a realist and I realize that Mark has been on a losing slide lately. Every since he lost to Jaro he hasn't been the same, I am friend enough to understand that. Mark is my brother in arms, he's one of my best friends along with Aidan and Heath.

I'd do anything to help them, they all know this...but I also understand that out of the four I've managed to beat Heath Twice, I've managed to beat Mark once, and each time it has been a great match. I don't throw them under the bus, I just simply openly speak up about their struggles.

I am not in charge of recruiting for the Saints, the ones I recruited are the ones on my side of the line...Mark Johannson and Apostasy.

I guess you could say we have The Broken Saints Blue and The Broken Saints Green, instead of one mega stable we're more of like two broken down condensed groups based on skills. The Broken Saints Blue would be your more technical wrestlers who chain wrestle circles around others, while The Broken Saints Green would be the guys who simply go out of their way to bring the fight or brawling to you.

Really quite simple stuff.

Why did you feel a need to break down what each faction of the Saints specialized in and prior to that make this about you? You do throw your friends under a bus, Seth. Because every time you need a witty comeback to save ass and show face, you reference one of them and compare them to yourself. I didn't think I was hot potatoes because I beat Mark. I knew prior to my match with Mark I was gifted with a propensity for violence. Four different men have felt this. Three of which from each of FMW's various divisions. I'm so dominant, I span the entire FMW. Not just one little segment of it that you seem to contain yourself into. I don't have a single color that can contain me, Seth. I'm just a fucking animal. And I have yet to be proven otherwise.

Meanwhile, you're blessed with countless shot after shot. I s'pose one out of three ain't bad, hoss. You made the most of your little dance with the two Dunns and I'll tip my hat to you on that one. But remember that just like that...

*snap*

Your relevance could end in an instant. You know full well of what I speak. The heartache and disappointment of your well-documented pleas for the Television Title. Only to lose to War Machine who is about as marketable as canned shit. What happened then? You tumbled into a spiraling free-fall of mediocrity. Chance helped you in this outing, Seth. Or rather odds did. Matthew P. Dunn is more accomplished and talented in his pinky toe than you are. And that gets to you as you are always fighting with a little chip on your shoulder for being the outcast of your little family. Please. Mention your paper-thin championship list one more time for the benefit of your own self-worth. I ain't buyin' what your pitchin', hoss. You fear the uncertainty of non-acceptance and when your fifteen minutes of fame fizzle out, you'll be back at square one. Which goes a little like this.

You really are just a tiny minded man who spouts off random ejaculatory blanket statements that in no way are related to what's being discussed. You are prone to anger. With a short temper and even shorter attention span, focus or drive aren't really your strong suits. You are surrounded by a group of people constantly attempting to keep you in check. Be it by protecting you from saying too much or finding the right words to convince others you know what you're saying, you have not operated on your own success so much as you have on the success or ideals of others. You have absolutely no identity and hide behind the fact that you are representing any cause that pays well. Defeating the exact purpose of Broken Saints to be an altruistic gang of semi-good guys working towards a goal of repairing a broken system.

Maybe I should just put the Broken Saints out of its misery and show you how a real soldier of fortune operates.

Pick each of you a part piece by piece and brick by brick to show you just how fragile your concept of loyalty and friendship really is. Its sad that a man with an almost utter lack of morals has to teach you how to be a friend.

Shameful thing, lobster head. Shame-ful thing.

Zzzzz

Zzzzz

Zzzz...wha?

Oh, cool story bro.

Apathy: Wonderful comeback.

But if I wanted my cum back, I would've wiped it off your face (thanks for that one, Dunn).

See? I can do juvenile humor, too. Doesn't that make me edgy and cool?

David GS wrote:

After carefully (read: not carefully) considering your offer, I've decided that yes, I do want to engage you. Now or later, right? But I'm getting beside myself - listen up, Pedo, and listen good: that Gold Card? It's coming home with me, and there's nothing you can say or do that will change that.

...She said she was eighteen. Lying bitch.

You're a cocky midget, aren't you?

It does make you a lot more edgy and a lot cooler than going on 1000 word rants that could put Chris Austin to sleep.

iDeAndes wrote:

David GS wrote:

After carefully (read: not carefully) considering your offer, I've decided that yes, I do want to engage you. Now or later, right? But I'm getting beside myself - listen up, Pedo, and listen good: that Gold Card? It's coming home with me, and there's nothing you can say or do that will change that.

...She said she was eighteen. Lying bitch.

You're a cocky midget, aren't you?

OOC: HA! I knew Pedo was the right word!

IC: Cocky? Agreed. But since when does six-five constitute a midget?

Apathy: You are the most hypocritical, asininely retarded person I've ever had the displeasure of meeting. Ever.

Difference is between my speeches and yours? My are succinct and fit the subject matter. Yours are just symptoms of finding random expletives to say to puff your chest out and look more intimidating.

It doesn't work, Pop Tart. You're still soft and doughy in the middle.

David GS wrote:

Cocky? Agreed. But since when does six-five constitute a midget?

When I'm bigger than you.

OOC: No. You used the wrong word.

OOC: *sigh*...fine.

IC: Oh. Well, I'm still gonna win.

I would say thank you but I really don't care what you have to say. Sure, you have a win streak but in the long run until you beat someone around your same size you're really just beating up on smaller individuals. If beating up on a smaller man makes you feel better, then by all means continue. And while you're at it why don't you go try to beat up on Faith as well instead of manning up and facing someone around your same size.

Omega wrote:

I would say thank you but I really don't care what you have to say. Sure, you have a win streak but in the long run until you beat someone around your same size you're really just beating up on smaller individuals. If beating up on a smaller man makes you feel better, then by all means continue. And while you're at it why don't you go try to beat up on Faith as well instead of manning up and facing someone around your same size.

Apathy: Now I really know you're retarded.

Matt Dunn is eclipsed next to you. There is NO ONE here your size save for X and Ash. If I compiled a mean average of every person in FMW you've ever faced, it'd be below your height and weight, Seth.

I can't help who is picked to face me. I treat them all as equal (non)-threats and rack them up to knock them down. One at a time.

Also let it be known if we're going to go down the girl can't fight route again (only for you to be proven wrong...again), please remember that Faith is the 2009 Hayabusa Cup Winner and at a record of 5-2. Whereas you have no accomplishments to speak of and have a record below .500. Size and gender don't matter in a fight, hoss. Just who wants it more. You should know this. And you've been quoted saying this. But only when its a convenience to you.

I really should make a clip show of how often you contradict yourself.

Omega wrote:

It does make you a lot more edgy and a lot cooler than going on 1000 word rants that could put Chris Austin to sleep.

I find that the more people say, as long as it is interesting, the more likely one is to hold my attention.

In short should someone be able to string together coherent, intelligent and entertaining thoughts that last more than 45 seconds, unlike yourself, I'm all ears.

I'm all for people running their mouths, you'd be surprised what you can learn by shutting the fuck up and letting chatterboxes run off. Because they want to be heard, they want you to hear them talk, they want you to know who they are, what they do.

They crave that attention. Otherwise they'd just shut up and wait until called upon to speak as actions tend to speak louder than words. Granted that sounds illogical given that actions can't actually speak.

But honestly, where's the intrigue in being quiet as a mouse, unless you kick major ass?

That's why it works for Faith and not for say, Mark Johansson. I know this because I've kicked ass as a semi-silent assassin and as a loud-mouthed scientist of the squared circle.

However I might want to up my game a bit, actually kill a mofo you know? That seems to be the way to cement the bad-assedness.

In fact, from this day forth I am the self-proclaimed "Deity of the Dirtnap".

I'm going to assume that you've never killed a person, only manipulated situations to the point that their death is in fact the sweet escape from the hypocritical, simplistic, worthless cycle of shit-stained hell people call lives?

You seem like that kind of person.

But what do I know, I just hold a bit of a grudge with you.