DISTORTION 11.3 RESULTS!!!

Chase: HELLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOO and WELCOME to Distortion 11.3! Get ready to experience the surreal, the strange, the supernatural all in one big shot! I’m Chase at the announce desk, and I’m joined tonight not by my regular partner Cactus Sam, but instead by guest commentator and current Television Champion PX! Lovely to have you on the show.

PX: Looking forward to a good night, Chase. Distortion had better put out a quality outing, especially when there are FMW Games tournament points on the line and the green division’s contestants are going to get crushed by Corruption!

Chase: If you didn’t know, viewers, PX is part of the upcoming War Games team for Corruption at FMW Catalyst! And there are FOUR opportunities for Distortion to earn points tonight!

Vs.

Chase: One of those opportunities comes when Distortion’s Dunnwood faces Corruption’s Celt in a War Games Preview!

PX: I’m not a fan of my brother, but if he’s earning points for the division, then I guess I’ll support him. He needs at least one ‘fan’.

Vs.

Chase: Apostasy and Nick Bryson continue their bloody rivalry when they face off later tonight in a House of 1000 Glass Shards match!

PX: Corruption bound to get the points in that one. Bryson’s a badass since he started beating up on the Broken Saints.

Vs.

Chase: And our main event for the night – an Abandoned Championship Casket match where Hannibal Frost will defend his Championship against new #1 contender Seth Omega!

PX: Gag. Frost by a mile here. Omega’s less competent than a newborn puppy.

Chase: Well, right now we’ve got our first interdivisional match coming up, let’s go to Ella Vader in the ring!

Ella Vader: The following contest is a SUBMISSION MATCH, and is worth one point in the FMW Games! Introducing to you first, from the Holy Light, weighing in at 210 pounds, representing Distortion, he is The Holy Saviour ALEXANDER CRYSTO!!!

Energy from the crowd is still high from the kick off of the show, as the ring bell tolls three times. It’s followed swiftly by Serenata Immortale’s "Immediate Music". From backstage, FMW rookie Alexander Crysto walks out ready for battle.

Chase: Opening contest of the night, and we’re running a submission fest for you!

PX: Rookies beating the crap out of each other. One person’s going to be humiliated early in his career.

Chase: Not necessarily. A win by submission could be an honourable and hard fought loss.

PX: It’s giving up, just like I’m giving up hope we’re going to have a rookie come through here soon not on a Religious mission, or be named Michaels in some form or another.

Ella Vader: And his opponent, weighing in at 200 pounds, representing Ammunition AND making his FMW Debut, STORM!!!

Still entering the ring, the music is quickly changed to “Road to Destruction” by EndeverafteR. After a burst of pyrotechnics, the FMW debutant, Storm, calmly walks out and slowly walks down to the ring.

Chase: The debutant looks focused. Crysto hasn’t paid him any attention yet.

PX: Crysto’s not even paying attention to him, he’s still focused on his warm up.

Chase: It can’t be a good thing for him, Crysto’s right there, AND DOESN’T EVEN WAIT FOR THE BELL TO START THE MATCH!!! Big boot to the back of Crysto, and Storm has made a statement already.

PX: It’s a rookie mistake by Crysto, and Storm’s making him pay. He’s lifted Crysto back to his feet, I think he’s out on his feet Chase! Storm doesn’t care, he delivers a devastating neck breaker anyway.

Chase: Storm looking very impressive as he moves in to a side headlock now, and Crysto’s very much conscious PX. He’s struggling to break the hold though, as Storm wrenches it in tighter and tighter.

PX: It’s not that effective Chase. He had a huge opening for something much better, but he’s gone the weak way.

Chase: It’s not weak, successful wrestlers have used it for ages and it’s been especially effective. Maybe you can try it.

PX: Hey, I’m the Television Champion! I’m very successful, and I wouldn’t have used a side headlock.

Chase: I stand by my words PX. Just like Storm’s sticking to this move. He’s really wrenching it in tight now, and it’s sapping the energy out of Crysto.

PX: Crysto’s given up trying to power out of the hold, instead, he’s mixing it up, and he’s trying to force himself back to his feet. Look at that power!!!

Using every last sap of energy he has, Crysto somehow manages to force his way back to a vertical position. As he reaches his feet however, Storm breaks the hold and sprints at the ropes.

Chase: Storm’s reacting very fast, he doesn’t want to get caught in a counter. Bounce off the ropes, into a MASSIVE clothesline to Crysto. Storm’s all over this, it’s a hugely dominant debut so far.

PX: It’s been impressive, I’ll give him credit, but he’s not showing anything special yet. He bends over and picks up Crysto by the hair. A forearm to the mid section by Crysto. That seemed a little desperate.

Chase: it was a desperation move PX, and it’s bought him a little time. He steadies himself as he gets back to his feet, and lays into Storm with a number of stiff right hands. Another kick to the mid section by Crysto, and he follows it up with a huge vertical suplex.

PX: It doesn’t look like he hit that properly Chase. Storm’s moving pretty freely still. He’s back to his feet fairly quickly.

Chase: Crysto’s given him another kick to the guts, he’s going for another suplex, but Storm’s thinking on his feet. He pushes Crysto back into the turnbuckle and drives his shoulder into the stomach of his opponent.

PX: Three... Four... Five. Crysto’s had the wind knocked out of him, and Storm keeps coming. Forearm to the side of the head by Storm, he takes Crysto by the hand and drags him out of the corner, only to whip him straight back into it chest first.

Chase: Fantastic offence by Storm, and he follows it up with a HUGE Belly to Back suplex. Crysto’s in real trouble now. A quick drop down to the mat by Storm and into a cross face.

Crysto’s eyes grow in size from the pain he’s in as he looks around for the ropes. Sticking his arm out, it’s a finger tip out of his reach.

PX: That was fast. Storm’s very quick, but being quick doesn’t win you championships. Winning matches does.

Chase: Speed helps you win matches.

PX: So does being good, like me.

Chase: That’s a bit of an oxymoron right there. Meanwhile, Crysto’s trying desperately to drag himself closer and closer to the ropes. He’s not giving up without a fight. And he’s done it!!! He’s broken the hold!

PX: Storm making a rookie mistake there and breaking it right away. He’s got a 5 count, he should use it. And now he’s dragged Crysto to his feet. What the hell?

Chase: If you wait a second PX, you’d see Storm was setting him up for an Anaconda Vice!!!! He’s got it synched in nice and tight!!! AND CRYSTO’S TAPPING!!!! IT’S ALL OVER!!!!

The Distortion crowd boo heavily as the Ammunition superstar, Storm, breaks the hold. The referee walks over to him and raises his hand in victory.

Ella Vader: Here is your winner, winning one point for Ammunition... STORM!!!!

Storm (6.48 aps + 1.3 avs = 7.78 total)
Alexander Crysto (0.00 aps + 0.8 avs = 0.80 total)

Chase: A successful debut to Storm tonight, and unfortunately a successful start to Distortion for the Ammunition brand!

PX: Don’t complain about that. I know you want to join in with these people in complaining that Distortion was just defeated. But every less point Distortion has, the better.

Chase: That’s rubbish, PX. The more points we have, the more we can show how we are the number one brand in FMW.

PX: Sure. Hopefully this rookie isn’t a representative of your brand, though, because that wasn’t a great start.

Chase: We’ve got plenty of chances yet! Distortion won’t fail to impress.

PX: We’ll see.

The scene goes backstage to the doctor’s offices, where Hannibal Frost is sitting on top of a medical bed, going through a routine medical examination thanks to the beating inflicted upon him at Corruption 11.2. The doctor looks into his ears, eyes and mouth before laying his equipment on the table and turning back to the Abandoned Champion.

Doctor: Alright. I’ve completed the examination and I have a feeling that like always, you’re not going to like what I say.

Frost: Lay it on me, Doc.

Doctor: Well, due to the concussion you suffered at 11.2, your head is still messed up. There’s a good chance that it could return and do more permanent damage to you if you-

Frost: Don’t say it...

Doctor: -if you compete tonight.

Frost: Goddamnit.

Doctor: I’m sorry, Hannibal. I have to recommend that you don’t compete tonight. That concussion could get much worse and seriously damage your brain, which will mean a much longer time out from the ring, and the forfeiture of your Championship.

Frost: You understand what the Championship means, don’t you, Doc? It means I’m the best on the brand. I have to compete. It’s my title and my pride on the line tonight.

Doctor: You may not be able to experience pride if you do more brain damage to yourself tonight!

Frost: Well, that’s a risk I have to take. I showed up to compete tonight, and that’s what I’m gonna do. Thanks for the advice, Doc, but I’ll take the fall if anything goes wrong. Trust me.

Frost nods and leaves the room with the title belt over his shoulder. The doctor merely sighs and looks at the empty doorway.

Doctor: Why do I even bother?

Ella Vader: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is a Distortion vs. Ammunition match where the winner will earn one point for their brand in the FMW GAMES TOURNAMENT! Introducing first, from Eureka, California, weighing in at 200 pounds and representing Distortion... Trey Spruance!

"We Die Young" by Alice in Chains hits the PA, and the crowd gives a decent-sized pop as Trey Spruance walks out from the back, dressed in dingy-looking ring attire. He heads for the ring, waving to the fans every now and then on the way.

Chase: After a string of bad luck, topped off by a loss to David GS last week, the Dude looks to earn a point for his brand by beating old/newcomer Matt Ford tonight. PX, what are your thoughts on Spruance's chances in this matchup?

PX: I'm as impartial as it gets, Chase, so you'll trust me when I say that this bitch is gonna get choked tonight.

Chase: Classy. Very classy.

Spruance slides into the ring and raises his arms, earning another respectable pop from the Distortion crowd. The cheers immediately turn to boos, however, as "Bastard Samurai" by High On Fire" hits the PA, closely followed by Matt Ford sauntering out from the back.

Ella Vader: And his opponent, from San Diego, California, weighing in at two-hundred and eighty-three pounds and representing Ammunition... Matt Ford!

Chase: Here comes Matt Ford, looking as cocky and self-absorbed as ever. He's been very vocal about how 'easy' it will be for him to put Spruance away, and he's had a few choice words for this match's guest commentator, David GS, as well.

PX: I like the man's style - he says what he pleases, to whom he pleases. All that's left is to see whether or not he can back it up.

Chase: Well, if you'll listen to Ford himself, he's already FMW World Title-material.

PX: Pfft. So is everyone else on the roster, if you'll listen to them.

Ford descends the ramp at a slow, sauntering gait, talking trash both vulgar and profane to those fans close enough to hear him. He stops about three quarters of the way to the ring, raising his fist as if to strike a younger fan in the front row and laughing loudly when the small boy recoils and buries his face in his mother's chest. He continues in the ring, hops up onto the apron, and steps through the ropes, completely ignoring Trey and instead flipping off the home Distortion crowd.

Chase: I don't care HOW good of a wrestler you are; a display like that won't earn you points with ANY crowd, not even that of your own brand.

PX: Agreed, but who cares?

Ford gets in Spruance's face to talk a bit of trash, but is cut off as "White Knuckles" by Alter Bridge blasts its way out of the PA. The fans erupt back into cheers as David GS walks out through a wall of steam, dressed casually in a pair of black-and-white boardshorts and a Remetee t-shirt. He descends the ramp fairly quickly, forgoing his usual display of pyro and ignoring Matt Ford's contemptuous glare as he circles around the ring to the announce table.

Chase: And here he is, our guest commentator! David, please, have a seat. Here's your headset...

DGS: *static* ...there we go. Can you hear me now?

PX: Yep.

DGS: Good, let's call us some wrestling.

Chase: Let's. There's the bell, and Ford just CHARGES out of the gate, forcing Spruance into the corner with some hard forearm shots! A hard irish whip sends the much smaller Trey Spruance across the ring and hard into the turnbuckle...he bounces off, and Ford catches him in the middle of the ring with a Powerslam!

PX: Guy's really a fast starter, isn't he?

DGS: He's just trying to impress me, that's all.

Chase: Ford with a cover - one, and Trey powers out.

DGS: He damned well better kick out of that!

Chase: Both men to their feet, and now they're exchanging right hands in the center of the ring. Doesn't last long, though - Ford packs a six-inch and almost ninety-pound advantage over Trey, and he shows it right here! BIG-TIME Uranage by Ford, and Trey Spruance AGAIN finds himself on his back in the center of the ring. One, two, and another kickout by Trey!

PX: Why does management keep pitting him against guys so much larger than he is? I mean, last week it was you, David, and now Ford...

DGS: I dunno, but I think I'm gonna Spear his ass again if he doesn't get Distortion a point tonight. COME ON, YOU NOT-SO-BIG DOOFUS! YOU DID BETTER AGAINST ME, AND I'M A ZILLION TIMES BETTER THAN THIS AMMO-CHUMP!

Chase: Hehe...hey, Ammo-Chump. I like that.

Ford appears to hear DGS shouting from ringside, and turns to smile deviously at the commentary trio. He pulls a hurting Spruance to his feet, not once taking his eyes off of DGS, and lifts the Dude up with a Pumphandle.

PX: I think he heard you.

DGS: No shit, Sherlock.

Chase: JESUS! Gutbuster by Matt Ford, and that might be a point for Ammunition right there! Ford crawls over Spruance...but he's not covering! Matt Ford, feeding the Dude closed-fist shots, one after another! Nowhere for Trey to go, and Ford continues to deliver a better-than-rookie performance all over Spruance's face! ...that sounded better in my head.

PX: I'll bet it did, you sick bastard. Anyways, look - Ford's pulling him up.

Matt pulls Trey to his feet by the hair and drags him over to the ropes.

Ford: SEE THIS, MEAT?! YOU SEE WHAT I'M DOING TO HIM?! THIS IS YOU, MEAT, AT TWELVE-POINT-FUCKING-ONE!

DGS: I oughta hit him.

PX: Yeah, you oughta. Being cocky and verbal is one thing, but this guy's just a douche.

Chase: Matt Ford, making a crystal-clear statement...and Trey's fighting back, Trey's broken free and is fighting back with those right hands!

Spruance's home crowd pops for him as he forces a clearly-surprised Matt Ford across the ring with a barrage of closed fist shots, pinning him down in the corner and hammering away at him.

DGS: Yeah, 'atta Dude!

Chase: Ford gives Trey a hard shove and follows after him...Ford with a clothesline, but the Dude ducks it! Double Leg Takedown by Spruance, and he bridges for the pin! One! Two! And Ford kicks out at two!

PX: Where's this coming from?!

Chase: Both men to their feet, and Spruance with another pin attempt! Inside Cradle, catching Matt Ford off-guard! ONE! TWO! And Spruance gets two-and-a-half, but it's STILL not enough! Trey, quicker to his feet than Ford, with a sharp kick to the gut...double underhook, and Trey may be looking for that Double-Arm DDT that he's been rumored to use!

PX: Trey uses a Double Arm DDT?

DGS: Since when?

Chase: I don't suppose it matters now, because Ford's gotten out of it! He lifts Trey up into an Argentine Backbreaker Rack and JESUS CHRIST what a Piledriver! Trey Spruance is OUT, ladies and gentlemen! I think we just witnessed one of those Fordplexes!

PX: Yeah, but which one? Aren't there like five of them?

DGS: Who cares?

Ford shoots a sinister grin over at DGS before circling around Trey's motionless body, over to where his head lies.

Chase: And it looks like Matt Ford doesn't wanna go home with a pinfall tonight! He's got Trey by the arm...THERE IT IS! CHOKE A BITCH, THAT ARM TRIANGLE CHOKE!

PX: See? I toldja so.

DGS: GODDAMMIT, TREY!

Trey's eyes roll back, and it isn't long before the referee deems the Dude unable to continue and calls for the bell.

Ella Vader: Here is your winner, earning a point for Ammunition in the FMW Games...Matt Ford!

Matt Ford (8.21 aps + 1.9 avs = 10.11 total)
Trey Spruance (6.65 aps + 0.5 avs = 7.15 total)

After having to be forced to break the hold by the referee, Matt gets to his feet and sneers down at his fallen opponent as "Bastard Samurai" starts up, watching as he rolls half-consciously to the ropes and falls to the outside. Ford then turns his attention to the Distortion crowd as they rain boos down upon him and goes to the ropes, returning their sentiments. Meanwhile, at ringside, DGS kicks off his flip-flops and removes his headset.

PX: Hey...hey, where are you going?

Chase: DGS slides into the ring behind Ford and immediately drops to a crouch! Boy, we should've seen something like this coming!

PX: He looks like a caged animal or something.

Chase: Not caged for much longer...Ford turns around and SPEAR! David GS avenges his brand's loss to Ammunition, and this home crowd is LOVING it!

PX: Doesn't look like he's quite done yet, either!

Chase: DGS steps over Ford's upper body and grabs the arm, what is he...OH! FATAL FRAME! DGS applies his own submission manoeuvre, the Fatal Frame, and it doesn't look like Ford has the wherewithal to even TRY and get out of it!

PX: A Gogoplata, now THAT'S something you don't see every day.

Chase: The ref's trying to get David to break the hold, but the King of the Undercard's not having any of it! Christ, look at Ford's eyes! They've rolled back into his head, and...and BLOOD's coming out of his mouth! My God, David's KILLING him!

PX: No he's not, it's probably just a ruptured trachea or something. That move's been known to do that - quit whining, you pussy.

David finally breaks the hold and rolls to his feet. He gets down on his stomach next to Ford, and the camera captures him mouthing the words: "THAT is how you Choke a Bitch." He then gets to his feet and exits to the outside, backing up the ramp and flashing the Devil Horns as the Distortion crowd continues to cheer.

Chase: DGS putting on a display to Ammunition, and while it won’t earn us any points, it’s a big statement to his opponents in the Gold Card Gauntlet!

PX: Distortion is none for two. Not looking good, Chase!

Chase: Clearly. Well, let’s go to Jacqueline Hyde backstage, this should be worth remembering...

The camera brings us to a close-up of Jacqueline Hyde, who is standing ready with a microphone in front of the camera.

Hyde: YYAAYY! Hey everyone! Thanks for that great intro Chase, Remember: I Okay then, Celt you’ve got a big match that you’d like to talk about, so go right ahead!

The camera zooms out and Celt steps into the shot, his arms folded and small smirk on his face.

Celt: Can you hear that Jacqueline?

Hyde’s face suddenly expresses great concern.

Hyde: No, What?

Celt: Come on, give it go...just listen.

Celt puts his hand to his ear to mime that he is listening intently.

Hyde: OH YAY! A game! I wanna play!

Hyde, too, puts her hand to her ear, miming listening very hard.

Celt: Yep, it’s definitely there in the distance... are you getting it now, Jacqueline?

Hyde: No! I can’t hear it!

Celt smiles playfully.

Celt: Aww, you can’t? I’ll give you hint: It’s going ding, dong, ding, dong over and over again.

Hyde: Hmmm, ding, dong, ding, dongdongdongdong big fucking cock get this bullshit over with! You asshole, Celt! No-one likes this abstract stuff, stop fucking killing our ratings and taking up MY FUCKING AIR TIME!

The camera man almost seems to shake his camera at the sudden turn in personalities of Ms. Hyde. Celt doesn’t seem too fazed, apparently used to a little too much crazy in his life.

Celt: It’s the sound of wedding bells Jackie, wedding bells ringing in the faint distance. Now to people like me and you they’re very faint yet, but it seems to a Mr. Dunnwood that’s all he can hear right now, so much so that’s all he can focus on. So much so he says he’s can’t even focus on me right. But I’ve got three reasons why I should on the very top of his mind, three very big reasons. Number one...

Suddenly Hyde’s demeanour changes rapidly and her shoulders relax noticeably, an absent smile appearing on her face.

Hyde: OneOneOneOneOnce I French-kissed a girl when I was drunk at party. Hmmm, she had pretty hair and soft skin... she gave me funny feelings.

Celt: We’re going into what is quite possibly... sorry no, the biggest match ever in FMW history. Fifteen men are about to go to war, fighting it out in an absolutely brutal match to secure the FMW games victory and reward for their division. This is a preview of that match, so both of us should be going all out to send a damn clear message about who is going to win it. Not only that; but cold hard points are on the line for this match. Now I don’t know about you, Dunnwood, but I want whatever that reward might be, I want it on Corruption and that is why I’ve come all the way here from Corruption ready to fight as hard as I can to get that reward. But let’s say Divisional pride and glory isn’t enough motivation for you Dunnwood, here’s a second reason.

Celt holds up a second finger to the camera, but suddenly Hyde starts to twitch somewhat

Hyde:Twotwotwotwo too much time you Irish bastard! Hurry this shit up or I’ll stab you right in the fucking eye OH MY GOD YOUR ACCENT COULD MURDER CHILDREN YOU CUNT!

Celt: How about on a personal level? See Dunnwood, even though we’re about to go to war in that steel monstrosity called War Games, it wasn’t so long ago we were both fighting each other in another war; my personal war against HavOc. And during that war, I seem to remember fighting each and every single member of HavOc tooth and claw... all of them, that is, except you. See, Dunnwood, while you got to partake in HavOc crimes, their ‘fun’, the chaos they created, you never took up the fight against their biggest enemy. Well Dunnwood, I’m afraid your time has come at last! It was always in the back of my mind, that you were the one to get away... now I’m going to reel you in and deliver the beating you’ve always had coming to you!

Celt holds up a third finger to the camera.

Celt: And finally... reason number three you need to get your head in the game when you’re facing me.

Hyde:ThreeThreeThree car crashes! I’ve been in three car crashes because I keep texting while I drive...lawl oh silly me. It’s cool though because company management keeps giving me new cars!

Celt: I’ve mentioned the future, War Games, and I’ve mentioned recent events in HavOc, but let’s go back now to the past. See, long ago, an issue formed between two young and upcoming rookies, all the way back in New Era Wrestling, over just who really was ‘the man’ there. Well, one of them was me, and the other was one Matthew P. Dunn, who may or may not be currently residing in one half of your brain. Now, me and Dunn never got to find out just who was the better man because for some reason the match never came about, even after all this time. Now your mind might be preoccupied with this upcoming sham wedding of Roy’s and Rousseau’s, but that other half of you, the Dunn side, all he’s thinking about is me. His pride, his ego won’t stand for me showing him up, and unless you beat me, or at least give me one hell of a match, he’s never going to let you forget it. So if you don’t want him berating the shit out of you for the next couple of months, give me the match I deserve. So there you have it, Dunnwood; three reasons to put down the flowers and sappy vows and give me the match and the thought I deserve. Get it together, and quick... because the Law is coming straight for you.

Celt nods before looking at Hyde.

Celt: There, I hope I made that as clear as black and white for everyone.

Celt tosses Hyde his microphone before quickly departing.

Chase: Catalyst is fast approaching and we’re about to see a preview of the War Games main event!

PX: I don’t think there’s any doubt that as much as he’s a pathetic failure, Corruption’s representative will win this match, because even pathetic failures are better than the stuff your division features, Chase.

Chase: Doubtful. Celt’s played the master of mind games and come out on the wrong end one too many times – Jaro’s protégé is Distortion through and through, you’ve got no chance.

Ella Vader: This following match is set for one fall and is a Corruption vs. Distortion War Games Preview match! The winner will earn TWO POINTS for his respective division on the FMW Games tournament! Introducing first, weighing in at 215 pounds and from Castlebar, Ireland, representing CORRUPTION, he is THE CELT!

“The Warrior’s Code” by Dropkick Murphys plays over the system and Celt gets a mixed reaction thanks to his divisional alignment. He nonetheless looks determined and smiles at the fans, hi fiving a few on the way down while never taking his eyes off the ring.

Chase: The Celt coming off a decisive loss to Kaoru Hanayama at Ammunition 11.2, looking to bounce back here.

PX: No sweat. Like I said, Distortion’s roster is sub-par at best.

Ella Vader: And his opponent, weighing in at 280 pounds, from Blackpool, England, representing DISTORTION, DUNNWOOOOOOD!!!

There is a similarly mixed reaction as Dunnwood appears onstage amongst green mist and the sound of “Voodoo People (Pendulum Remix)” by The Prodigy. He walks straight to the ring, a twisted smile upon his face, but Celt does not back down and the two men immediately go face to face, pressing foreheads against each other in an attempt to win mental dominance.

Chase: Say what you want, PX – I don’t like Dunnwood very much, but the man knows how to win matches and twist his opponent’s minds to his own benefit!

PX: Oh, so that’s why he’s the current number one contender to the Abandoned Championsh- oh wait, he lost last show as well.

Chase: Against even better Distortion competition.

PX: Did you just compliment Seth Omega? Allow me to throw up on your ridiculous fans.

The staredown continues in the ring, but when the bell rings Dunnwood immediately just walks into Celt, who is forced backwards into the ropes, where Dunnwood proceeds to elbow him in the stomach and then whip him in the opposite direction.

Chase: And we’re off! Celt hits the ropes, still a bit winded, and now he’s straight back into Dunnwood’s waiting boot!

PX: That’s what seven inches and sixty five pounds will do to you.

Chase: Size advantage will count for a lot in this match! Dunnwood’s mind games are assisted by his physical superiority. He grabs Celt by the neck and hoists him to his feet, Dunnwood puts his other hand on Celt’s neck and hoists him into a double choke!

PX: Early days yet, my fellow commentator.

Chase: Indeed you’re right – Celt fighting back with an elbow to the top of Dunnwood’s skull, and a second, a third forces Dunnwood to drop Celt back to the mat and now the Irishman goes on the offensive with a flurry of punches not too dissimilar to Sabu’s style of fighting!

PX: He always did like punching like that. Forcing Dunnwood back into the corner!

Chase: Dunnwood pressed against the turnbuckle and Celt backs up, HUGE running European uppercut! Dunnwood will feel that in the morning!

PX: Dunnwood stumbling away and now Celt has the advantage! Press it for Corruption!

Chase: I get the feeling you wouldn’t support Celt if there weren’t big prizes on the line for the winner of the FMW Games. Dunnwood doesn’t look behind him and Celt comes with a BIG swinging neckbreaker from behind!

PX: No shit I wouldn’t support him. I could care less about the divisions – IF there weren’t rumoured title shots and other unspecified trophies and prizes up for grabs. Celt with a pinfall attempt! ONE! TWO!

Chase: Kickout from Dunnwood!

PX: Celt lifts Dunnwood to his feet, hits the ropes and comes back looking for a lariat!

Chase: Dunnwood drops flat! Celt looks down but Dunnwood puts a KNEE into Celt’s shins! Celt backs away and now Dunnwood gets back up to his feet, he grabs Celt by the arm BUT CELT SPRINGS TO THE SECOND ROPE AND LARIAT! STRONG ARM OF THE LAW, HUUUUUUGE LARIAT FROM CELT!

PX: Another pinfall attempt! ONE! TWO!

Chase: NO! Dunnwood kicks out again and he won’t go down that easily!

PX: Resilient, I’ll give him that.

Chase: And so you should! The big man has a lot of stamina and he’ll continue until he’s thoroughly beaten!

PX: So he’ll stay in the match until he loses is what you’re saying.

Chase: Yeah, but more eloquently. Anyway, Dunnwood slowly getting to his feet, Celt now searching for a way to put Dunnwood down for good! Celt takes Dunnwood, whips him into the corner, he goes back for a run-up...

PX: This is going to be nasty.

Chase: He takes the run-up, springs to the second rope and CASTLEBAR KISS-

PX: That’s how Corruption does it!

Chase: NO! Dunnwood blocked the kneecap with his hand just inches from his face! Dunnwood grabs Celt’s leg and pushes forward on him, forcing Celt to fall back first onto the mat! Dunnwood hoists himself up the turnbuckle but no, he decides against it and hops back down to boos from the watching fans!

PX: Too risky for him, I think – he didn’t trust Celt to stay down. I wouldn’t.

Chase: Because you’re far and away the best wrestler in the company.

PX: I have the best form.

Chase: Touché. Dunnwood lifts Celt and hooks him around the neck, spike DDT! Celt hits the mat with force and Dunnwood stands tall over him, dominating with his size now! He lays his boot into Celt’s midsection now and Celt holds his sides in pain!

PX: Quick way to break ribs there.

Chase: Indeed. Dunnwood lifts Celt now, grabs him by the neck! The crowd are cheering and Dunnwood lifts Celt into the air! CHOKESLAM BACKBREAKER from Dunnwood, he calls that ‘War’!

PX: And now he’s going to the turnbuckle! He thinks he’s done enough?

Chase: Enough for now, anyway! Celt isn’t moving, and Dunnwood climbs to the very top! Listen to the crowd cheering him on! This is the biggest ovation he’s ever received!

Dunnwood stands on the top rope and looks around at the crowd, then down at Celt, but there are no theatrics from the bigger man as he dives into the air, headfirst, looking for a diving headbutt...

PX: CELT DODGES! Dunnwood hits the mat face first and he’s feeling that one!

Chase: Celt will have to press the advantage quickly, but he looks like he’s onto it! Celt pulls Dunnwood to his feet and holds him with one arm, he backs up, Tornado DDT from Celt! He plants Dunnwood into the mat face first!

PX: Good psychology from him, working only on the neck and head! He’s prepping for a finisher!

Chase: Dunnwood laid out in the ring, Celt goes to the corner! He takes a run-up, he’s stepped over Dunnwood, springs to the top turnbuckle and SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT! He calls that one AIR EIRE!

PX: Classic Irishman – here comes the finish!

Chase: Celt lifts Dunnwood up! He stands in front of Dunnwood, bends Dunnwood down and hoists him onto his back in a backbreaker rack!

PX: BRUTALITY-

Chase: NO! Celt’s leg buckles! Dunnwood slides off the back but he turns around into a DETERMINED Celt! Celt kicks Dunnwood in the stomach, flips the big man into the backbreaker rack again and DOWN GOES DUNNWOOD! BRUTALITY DRIVER FROM THE CELT!

PX: That’s the stuff! Goodbye Distortion, hello two points for Corruption!

Chase: Celt falls onto Dunnwood for the pinfall! There’s the referee! ONE!

PX: TWO!

Chase: THREE! CORRUPTION DEFEATS DISTORTION!

Ella Vader: Your winner, earning two points for CORRUPTION, THE CELT!

The Celt (8.24 aps + 1.9 avs = 10.14 total)
Dunnwood (7.10 aps + 0.6 avs = 7.70 total)

The crowd once again give Celt a mixed ovation, with Distortion fans booing his victory over their representative but many small children revelling in their hero’s victory over the monstrous Dunnwood. Celt merely smiles as he stands up, having his hand raised by the referee.

Chase: And it’s all over! The Celt defeats Dunnwood with a well-fought match, backing up that interview beforehand!

PX: Your division is pathetic. You’re none to three! Celt has given you a preview of Catalyst, Chase, so don’t get your hopes up.

Celt leaves to the sound of the Dropkick Murphys, receiving a goodbye cheer (or boo) from the fans.

Chase: Well, to shake off some of this bad luck, let’s go backstage to Jacqueline Hyde again!

We cut to Jacqueline Hyde backstage again, waiting... not so patiently.

Hyde: Welcome back, cuntstains. Apparently it’s already interview time again, so welcome fucking Seth Omega back. Dickwad.

Omega: Hello to you too... have we met?

The camera pans out to reveal Seth Omega, who is a tad befuddled upon his first encounter with Hyde.

Hyde: Fuck I hope not. You look like a pussy. I don’t hang out with fuckwits like you.

Omega: Charmed.

Hyde: You’ve gotgotgotgotgot a title shot against that fun man Mr. Frost later tonight, Sethy! I’m so excited! I thought about it in the shower this morning and dropped my shampoo bottle on my foot... I got an owie.

Omega: Are you asking me what I think about the match?

Hyde: I dunno! Maybe?

Omega: I’ll take that as a yes. Look, I know the locker room aren’t my biggest fans. But I’m Seth Omega, and I follow a code of honour. For instance, I heard earlier tonight that Frost might be competing tonight with an injury. Now, normally, a title contender would jump at a chance like that. But when I heard, I went over it in my head-

Hyde: My head’s full of strangestrangestrangestrangestrangestrictly confidential fucking information, like I’m going to fucking tell you about it shitforbrains!

Omega: I went over it in my head, trying to decide whether or not I should compete. And after a lot of thought, I decided that I wouldn’t feel right taking a Championship belt from an injured Champion. It’s just not the way I want to do things.

Hyde: Like you do anythingthingthingthingthings are complicated! I forget them all the time. I do things, though, my boyfriends says I do him, but I don’t understand what he means.

Omega: See a psych, lady. Anyway, I promise that tonight, I’ll do the honourable thing when it comes to it. That’s my promise. And before you ask, you’re not the honourable thing.

Omega leaves, shaking his head, and Hyde looks around, sighing due to her current loneliness on the interview set.

Chase: Here we go... this is going to be brutal. One last chance for Distortion to get on the scoreboard on its own show!

Ella Vader: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is set for one fall and is a Distortion vs. Corruption House of 1000 Glass Shards match, where the winner will earn a point for his division in the FMW Games tournament! Introducing first, weighing in at 245 pounds and from Cleveland, Ohio, representing DISTORTION, APOSTASY!!!!

”I’m Made of Wax Larry, What Are You Made Of?” by A Day To Remember blasts through the PA system as the crowd rises to their feet for the youngest member of the Broken Saints, Apostasy.

Chase: And here comes Apostasy! Now, I don’t know if you all recalled last show, but this young buck here was able to squeeze out a victory against former Full Metal Champion Nick Bryson!

PX: Yes, but what you’re forgetting to mention is that Bryson just handed him the win.

Chase: Shenanigans! Bryson tried to just lay down, but Apostasy was having none of it as took Bryson to his limit!

PX: Hah, like anyone from this crap-ass show would take anyone from my epic brand to the limit.

Ella Vader: And his opponent, weighing in at 245 pounds, from Cleveland, Ohio, representing Corruption, NICK BRYSON!

”The One” by Slaughterhouse cuts out Apostasy’s music as Nick Bryson makes his way from behind the curtain to the ramp, donned in a “Corruption” T-Shirt.

PX: YES! Now that’s what I like to see. The fact is that Corruption is the superior brand to all, and Bryson is showing his true colors here tonight!

Chase: Funny, those don’t look yellow.

PX: Bryson is not a coward!

Bryson slowly walks down the ramp, staring down Apostasy, who still hasn’t moved into the ring.

PX: Perhaps Apostasy is the yellow coward!

Chase: Ah, yes. The house of a thousand shards of glass match has already taken a psychological effect on both combatants it seems! Two sides of the ring ropes are removed completely and two wide boxes of glass are placed on each side on the floor outside the ring instead! Not to mention the remaining ropes are filled coast to coast with light tubes, tied by barbed wire, and rigged to explode!

PX: I think you mean Apostasy has a psychological toll, look at Bryson!

Bryson smiles as he walks through the box of glass and climbs into the ring. Apostasy glares at him and climbs in, managing to go over the glass.

Chase: He’s smart, PX, let Bryson try to play his mind games. Apostasy can see right through that.

The bell sounds and the two men begin to circle each other.

Chase: AND THAT’S THE START! They both charge ahead! Locking up in the center of the ring, Apostasy with the upper hand! He spins to Bryson’s back! GERMAN SUPLEX! NO!

PX: BRYSON LANDED ON HIS FEET! Excellent reflexes! This man is amazing! And they try to say the best wrestlers are on Ammunition.

Chase: And Bryson begins to take the offensive now! A series of clubbing forearms to the back of Apostasy’s head! A devastating back breaker over Bryson’s knee! Apostasy is writhing on the mat! Early pin! One- kick out by Apostasy!

PX: I thought that was over!

Chase: You wish, Bryson’s a fool if he thinks that Apostasy will stop because of one move. Bryson slowly drags Apostasy up, IRISH WHIP TO THE ROPES!

PX: YES!

Chase: NO! Apostasy drops to the ground! Leg sweep takes out Bryson! Apostasy with a flipping leg drop right across the neck of his downed opponent! Apostasy is dragging Bryson over to the ropes! He sets him up on the light tubes!

PX: Come on, Bryson! Don’t let this Distortion chump get the upper hand!

Chase: Apostasy moves to the other side of the ring! He’s setting up a charge! HE’S GOING TO BOOT BRYSON INTO THE TUBES AND- NO! Bryson manages to slump out of the way and Apostasy stops his charge!

PX: Smart move by Bryson!

Chase: More like desperation! Apostasy moves over to take control again and, NO! Low blow by Nick Bryson!

PX: Perfectly legal in this match, mind you!

Chase: And completely underhanded! Bryson hooks Apostasy’s head over his knee and brings down some heavy elbows to the back of Apostasy’s head! That’s brutal!

PX: He’s going to cripple him!

Chase: Oh no, oh no! Bryson drags Apostasy over to the ropes! Hes set Apostasy’s face on the light tubes! What the hell is he doing!

PX: Look! He’s pulling back Apostasy’s arms! I think you know whats coming!

Chase: NO! DON’T DO IT! DON’T DO- OH MY GOD! CURB STOMP FROM NICK BRYSON DIRECTLY INTO THE TUBES OF GLASS!

PX: Wow. That even made me a little queasy. For a second. Then I got over it because Distortion blows.

Chase: Oh dear god, Apostasy is bleeding heavily, his entire lower face is cut open! We’ve seen some intense things in FMW over the years, but this is ranking right up there.

PX: Add another reason as to why Corruption is simply the best television out there today.

Chase: Apostasy is down in the center of the ring! Bryson’s not going for the pin though! What the hell!

PX: He wants to send a message, Chase. Last week Bryson tried to show Apostasy his place in the world, and Apostasy defied him. Bryson’s going to make this last long.

Chase: Bryson is moving outside the ring! He’s looking under the ring apron for- wait, he’s pulled out a large bucket. What the hell!?

PX: If this is what I think it is, this match is going into a whole nother stratosphere.
Chase: OH WOW!

PX: GENIUS!

Chase: Bryson has dipped his taped hand into the bucket! We now know whats in there! That’s GLUE! Bryson has glued his taped fist and wrist!

PX: Look! He’s rolling the glue in the shards of glass! Bryson has turned his arm into the ultimate weapon!

Chase: Bryson is beginning to climb into the ring again, but it looks like he waited too long with his theatrics! Apostasy is up! Boot to Bryson’s head! Another one! Apostasy goes to grab Bryson for a whip into the ropes, but he didn’t see the glass shards! Apostasy pulls back in pain!

PX: He should have just stayed on the ground!

Chase: Bryson with a charging forearm straight to Apostasy’s head! Apostasy has to be cut open again! Bryson with a falling forearm across Apostasy’s face! He’s grinding that glass into Apostasy’s head!

PX: This is absolute chaos now and I’m loving it! This match has been one shining example of the dominance of Corruption!

Chase: Bryson is taking the time to gloat now! LOOK! He’s peeling pieces of skin off of the glass! That’s disgusting!

PX: This is in the bag. Chalk one up for Corruption, Chase.

Chase: You may be right, PX. Bryson is lifting Apostasy! He whips him, NO! Bryson continues to hold on and pulls Apostasy back in! Forearm to the chest! Apostasy is down again!

PX: I can’t believe they honestly thought that this runt stood any sort of chance against a champion like Bryson without him getting a clearly unfair upper hand.

Chase: Apostasy has always done what he can to be by the book! This kid is giving it his all! Bryson lifts Apostasy slowly now! He’s enjoying this!

PX: I know I am.

Chase: MAYBE A LITTLE TOO MUCH! APOSTASY WITH A KICK TO BRYSONS GUT! APOSTASY WITH A TWISTING HAMMERLOCK! AND A SLAM! BRYSON FALLS ON HIS OWN GLASS COVERED ARM!

PX: What the hell! That’s impossible! This kid has to be dead!

Chase: Apostasy is on a roll now! He’s laying the boots to Bryson, driving that glass deeper! Apostasy steps back for a second, he charges, FIELD GOAL KICK! This has developed into a slugfest!

PX: Come on now, Bryson! This kids making you look like a fool!

Chase: Apostasy lifts Bryson! He hoists him high! He’s holding Bryson in that crucifix power bomb! APOSTASY RUNS TOWARDS THE ROPES! HE TOSSES BRYSON INTO THE LIGHT TUBES! THEY EXPLODE!

PX: Oh god! No! No!

Chase: Apostasy is down but, LOOK! BRYSONS SHIRT IS ON FIRE! BRYSON HAS CAUGHT FIRE!

PX: SOMEONE GET THE EXTINGUISHER! QUICK!

Chase: BRYSON IS ROLLING AROUND! HE RIPS THE SHIRT OFF! TAKE THAT CORRUPTION!

PX: How unfair! That’s completely unfair! You Distortion douche bags would have to resort to blatant cheating!

Chase: I think everyone in the world would argue otherwise, PX! Apostasy crawls over for the pin! He drapes his arm over Bryson! One, Two, NO!

PX: YES! Thank god! What a display of heart!

Chase: I can’t believe Bryson kicked out of that!

PX: Say whatever lies and slander you want, Chase, Bryson is full of heart and grit that personify Corruption. Not to mention other intangibles! You just can’t measure that, and that’s why corruption is immeasurably better than the other brands!

Chase: Fascinating logic, PX. Apostasy can’t believe it either. Apostasy is slow to get up, but Bryson just rolls out of the way. Apostasy is moving in, perhaps for the kill, and- OH MY GOD!

PX: What a genius move! Amazing stuff from Bryson!

Chase: BRYSON TRIPS APOSTASY FACE FIRST INTO THE LIGHT TUBES AGAIN!

PX: Bryson is back on the offensive!

Chase: Bryson takes the shreds of his shirt, NO! He is trying his shirt around Apostasy’s neck! He’s strangling him!

PX: This is too great! What an emotional rollercoaster. For you guys, I mean, I knew Bryson had this all along.

Chase: LOOK AT THIS! BRYSON IS TAKING APOSTASY AND SMASHING HIS FACE INTO EACH LIGHT TUBE LEFT! APOSTASY IS TRYING TO COVER HIS FACE WITH HIS ARM BUT HES JUST BEING TORN TO SHREDS!

PX: They might as well just call the match now, Chase. Corruption again reigns supreme.

Chase: Bryson lifts Apostasy, HE TOSSES HIM TOWARDS THOSE BOXES OF GLASS! NO! BRYSON PULLS ON THE SHIRT BRINGING APOSTASY TO THE GROUND!

PX: YES!

Chase: BRYSON IS LAUGHING! THIS IS TWISTED! HE LIFTS APOSTASY! HE TOSSES HIM AGAIN! SAME RESULT!

PX: He’s just toying with him now. Cat and mouse, Chase. What’s it like being the mouse?

Chase: Apostasy is down and out, it seems. This looks bad for Distortion-

PX: It never looked good to begin with.

Chase: Bryson going back to the outside. Last time he got that bucket of glue. What is he searching for now!?

PX: Look, Bryson’s found another bucket, this is simply too great.

Chase: Bryson dips his hand in and he pulls out what!? OH WOW! THAT’S SALT! BRYSON HAS THE SALT!

PX: DON’T GET SALTY CHASE! AHAHAH!

Chase: BRYSON IS GOING INTO THE RING WITH THAT BUCKET OF SALT!

PX: HES GONNA RUB SALT IN YOUR WOUNDS… LITERALLY! AHAHAH!

Chase: Bryson looms over Apostasy. Apostasy seems almost unconscious.

PX: He won’t be for long, that’s assured. TIME TO WAKE UP!

Chase: Bryson lifts the bucket of salt! He’s getting ready to pour it over Apostasy and- YES! APOSTASY IS ABLE TO KICK UP AND KNOCK THE BUCKET OF SALT INTO BRYSONS FACE!

PX: WHAT! THAT’S NOT HOW THIS IS SUPPOSED TO GO!

Chase: BRYSON IS DOUBLED OVER IN PAIN! APOSTASY WITH A QUICK BURST! HES SET UP BRYSON! OH MY GOD!

PX: HOLY HELL!

Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

Chase: APOSTASY WITH A BURNING HAMMER FROM THE RING INTO THE SHARDS OF GLASS ON THE FLOOR! BOTH MEN ARE DOWN IN THAT BOX! BRYSON WAS COMPLETELY EXPOSED TO THAT GLASS! HES WRITHING IN PAIN!

PX: CHEATER! HUGE CHEATERS ALL OF YOU!

Chase: APOSTASY ROLLS OVER! HIS ARM IS DRAPED OVER BRYSON! ONE, TWO, THREE YES! ITS ALL OVER! APOSTASY WINS!

Ella Vader: Here is your winner, earning one point for Distortion, APOOOOOOOOSTASY!

Apostasy (8.72 aps + 1.1 avs = 9.82 total)
Nick Bryson (7.62 aps + 1.3 avs = 8.92 total)

Chase: That was BRUTAL! Absolutely BRUTAL! And here come the meds now!

Medical staff rush the ring and both Bryson and Apostasy are immediately whipped onto stretchers and taken away. Apostasy’s “I’m Made Of Wax Larry, What Are You Made Of?” by A Day To Remember heralds his victory as he leaves, however.

Chase: Distortion redeems itself with a point over Corruption! Apostasy defeats Bryson for the second show running!

PX: Making your final count for the night ONE point out of FIVE. Good job there, champ. You wouldn’t have even gotten this one if it wasn’t for the massive cheating!

Chase: Oh, shut your face. You’re annoying me now. Can’t believe we couldn’t get a Distortion star to commentate instead. David GS would have been a much better choice.

PX: You’d have both been agonising over your pathetic brand. But only one match left, then you can get the hell out of my booth.

Chase: Well, for now we’re showing an interview with Cactus Sam and Mark Johansson, filmed earlier in the week.

We go to the screens where a pre-taped interview begins showing. Cactus Sam and Mark Johansson sit in an interview room, in a Parkinson-like setup.

Sam: Good evening, everyone – my apologies for not being at Distortion tonight, I’m too busy kicking emo asses at Ammunition. For now, though, welcome Distortion’s own Mark Johansson!

Johansson nods at Sam, dressed nicely in a suit.

Sam: So, Mark – let’s cut the crap and skip straight to the obvious. You’re on a losing streak. A pretty bad one. I can’t remember the last time you won a match. It’s kind of sad that you got transferred to Distortion, we’d preferred to have kicked your ass for more division points.

Johansson: Good to see you’re being fair, Sam.

Sam: Look, I’m on your division but only because I get paid to do it. Quite frankly, I think you suck.

Johansson: Can you just ask the goddamn question?

Sam: Sure. My question is in reference to your losing streak, Marky Marky Mark Johanssonsonson.

Johansson: It’s Johansson. What’s your question already?

Johansson is visibly annoyed by Sam, but he remains calm.

Sam: My question is this: Why do you suck?

Johansson: What?

Sam: I’m curious. Why can’t you win? I mean, you’re a wrestler, so you’ve been trained to do this professionally, and you got a contract with one of the best companies out there, but you can’t wrestle any more than a blind child could. Hell, my gran could win more matches than you, and she’s dead, Mark! DEAD!

Johansson: This is ridiculous. Why am I being interviewed by you?

Sam: Because they paid me. I said that before. So, do you have an answer? As to why you suck? I mean, it’s getting a little overdone. Win a match already. Beat someone up unfairly? Just attack someone! You can weaken them, get a referee down there and claim a win. Chalk up a big W. Not hard to do.

Johansson: You’re goddamn right it’s not.

Johansson snaps and launches himself at Sam, sending the chairs toppling to the ground. Johansson throws multiple fists at Sam, who tries in vain to block them. A sharp crack can be heard after about the tenth shot, and Sam starts bleeding from the nose, presumably it being some form of broken. The microphones crackles as the two men struggle, and while Sam gets in a few shots here and there, he is soon overwhelmed by both the pain of his nose and the violent strikes that Johansson keeps employing, especially after two or three elbows to the sternum. Johansson stands and stomps Cactus a few times, walking away and leaving Sam rolling on the studio floor in pain, bleeding all down his shirt.

PX: Let’s get down to business now, shall we?

Chase: I think so!

The lights go down and the arena is shrouded in darkness. Some small lights fade up slightly along the entrance ramp, and then druids appear from the curtain with mist filling the floor of the arena.

PX: Cliche.

Chase: Well you can’t just have a bunch of guys in casual jeans come down and put a coffin next to the ring, can you?

PX: Hannibal Frost and Seth Omega are not The Undertaker.

Chase: Oh, relax.

The druids calmly bring the casket down to ringside and stand on either side of the ramp. There is silence as Ella Vader prepares the announcements.

Ella Vader: Ladies and gentlemen, the Wheel of Distortion has determined that this match will be a CASKET MATCH and it is for the FMW ABANDONED CHAMPIONSHIP! Introducing first, the challenger, weighing in at 315 pounds and from Tallahassee, Florida, The Epitome of Ultraviolence, SETH OMEEEEEEEGA!!!!

“Nightmare” by Avenged Sevenfold heralds Seth’s arrival onstage to green flashing spotlights. The audience cheer for him and he reciprocates by hi-fiving fans on his way down, his eyes always focused on the ring. He slides in and looks around, smiling to himself.

Chase: Well, Seth Omega is finally getting his chance to play for the Abandoned Title, something he’s apparently wanted to get his hands on for quite a while.

PX: This chump couldn’t beat me, Chase. He doesn’t have a chance here. Frost is far too good for him.

Chase: But there’s always the possibility that Frost’s condition will be playing up...

PX: Frost could beat Omega in his sleep, Chase. I’m that confident.

Ella Vader: And his opponent, he weighs in at 232 pounds and is from Memphis, Tennessee, the reigning Abandoned Champion, HANNIBAAAAAAAAL FROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOST!

“Dead or Alive” by Bon Jovi hits the speakers and the crowd roar for Hannibal Frost, who makes his entrance at the top of the stage. Something is noticeably wrong, though, as he looks under the weather and dishevelled.

Chase: He’s still concussed, for the love of god. That man isn’t in any condition to wrestle.

PX: Like I said. Still better than Omega.

Frost stumbles once or twice on his way into the ring but still looks determined to get there, which he does, eventually sliding in and facing Seth. Seth looks at him curiously, and the referee has the same dubious look. Frost is clearly still under the effects of his 11.2 beatdown, but he removes the Abandoned Title from his waist and hands it to the referee.

Chase: The referee doesn’t look too sure about starting this match.

PX: Don’t give it to Seth by forfeit! Rewarding chumps like him for doing jack all is what’s wrong with this company.

Chase: Well, the referee seems to be preparing to start, Frost wants to fight! Seth Omega said earlier in the night that he’d do the honourable thing if Frost was injured – and he’s taking the mic! Omega’s going to postpone the match, I presume.

Omega: No way, Frost. I don’t want the title like this. Not if you’re injured. That’s the cheap way out. I wanted you at full strength before I took that gold off your waist. I want to beat you at your very best. This match has to be postponed.

The crowd boo until Frost takes the mic off Omega, Frost still looking furiously determined.

Frost: I don’t back away from anything. I never have, Seth. Today’s not going to be the first time. Fight me.

Omega shakes his head, causing the crowd to boo.

Frost: Scared? Come on, Omega! Fight me!

Omega refuses again, causing louder boos.

Frost: FIGHT ME!

Omega takes the mic from Frost at this point, looking pissed off.

Omega: If you insist, you’ll get a fucking fight!

Frost nods and turns around, but at this point Omega keeps the mic and hammers the back of Frost’s head with it three times, driving him to the mat. The crowd begin booing as Omega discards the mic with a thunk.

Chase: OMEGA JUST AMBUSHED THE ABANDONED CHAMPION! THE CHEATING BASTARD!

PX: Sneaky little bastard. Now he has to resort to cheating to win. Guess he’s abandoned the ‘I love the fans’ pretence!

Chase: Well, he’s got the bell rung now and that means the match is on, but this is bullshit!

PX: A championship match.... what a farce.

Chase: Omega’s just laying into Frost, not giving him any chance at all! The champion’s concussed already, and now Omega’s just targeting his head! He’s laying knuckles into Frost’s forehead and the champ is busted open!

PX: Pathetic. Both of them. Frost shouldn’t have let himself be ambushed and Omega’s a coward. Unbelievable.

Chase: Says you, you slimy bastard. This is a blatant attack from one member of the War Games team on another! What chance does Distortion have if this continues?

PX: None anyway, given I’ll be on Team Corruption.

Omega continues hammering Frost relentlessly, picking him up and dragging him to the ring post, where he drives Frost’s skull into the turnbuckle. Frost begins displaying a crimson mask, and the crowd boo as Omega continues his malicious assault.

Chase: Omega’s taking advantage of a situation he just described as taking the cheap way out! Frost’s bleeding, suffering from a concussion, and Omega is taking the coward’s way out.

PX: The worst thing here is that Seth Omega will become champion. He’s not worthy of the honour.

Chase: Well the bell hasn’t rung yet, but Omega’s got a chair in his hands, and he’s thrown it into the ring! This isn’t going to end well, Frost isn’t moving much at all!

Omega ties Frost into a tree of woe and then pulls back, grabbing the chair with a malicious grin.

Chase: Omega’s got that chair and RUNNING CHAIR DROPKICK INTO FROST’S FACE! NASTY stuff right there and this is completely uncalled for!

PX: Omega’s calling for it! The crowd are booing him like crazy – with logical reason, of course, he is a giant douchebag. And on Distortion. Sad.

Chase: If he wasn’t before, tonight has proved it! Omega grabs Frost and to finish the bleeding champion off in the centre of the ring Omega nails the HEART SHAPED BOX! Frost is out cold, concussed, crimson and Omega’s calling for the casket to be opened so he can finish this match within seconds!

Omega watches on eagerly as the casket lid opens, and he rolls the unconscious Frost in, closing the lid without difficulty. The bell rings and “Nightmare” plays over the speakers to thunderous boos.

Ella Vader: Ladies and gentlemen... your winner and NEW Abandoned Champion, Seth Omega...

Seth Omega (8.22 aps + 2.2 avs = 10.42 total)
Hannibal Frost (0.00 aps + 0.3 avs = 0.30 total)

Chase: That fucking Omega is a goddamn sellout. I never thought I would see the day where he sold out the way he sold out just now.

PX: You must have seen this coming. Omega, a fan favourite? Those words don’t work in the same sentence.

Chase: It's a damn shame knowing that this man holding the Abandoned Championship - a belt held by TyranT, Skyler Striker, Romeo, and Hannibal Frost - won it in such a dirty fashion.

The referee hands Seth the belt, and raises his hands, although Omega shakes him off. Seth then slings the belt over his shoulder and picks up a microphone. As he tries to speak for the first time the crowd begins a ‘you sold out’ chant.

Omega: It’s ‘Abandoned Champion’ to you now – and for as long as I wear this. A lot of you sitting at home and in the stands are sitting there saying "he worked his ass off for that belt", and you're right - I did. ‘Wow, that guy didn't kiss ass to get that belt’. That's right. I didn't. ‘That guy didn't suck up to get that belt’ – you’re damn right I didn't. Some would call me a role model, but I ain't your fucking role model. I am not someone you want to look up to. And that's part of the reason Hannibal's injured ass is laying in the casket as we speak.

The fans keep booing.

Omega: I can already hear people saying ‘Seth, the fans loved you, the fans adored you, you weren't a cookie cutter good guy, you did shit your way and you got it done’. And you're right... I did. But I'm not going to hide anything from you guys, as much money as I was making, I wanted to keep drinking. Not only that, I wanted to keep blowing it on strippers, gambling it, and not paying my bills. Now let me ask you something, is that really your role model? No, what I am is really a mean, miserable son of a bitch.

The you sold out chants start again.

Omega: You're goddamn right I sold out. And next month? I’m selling out Saint Louis, baby! The ‘show me’ state? Well, I've showed you something, and you know what the best part is? Not only am I worth more money here... I’m not worth more money elsewhere.

Omega throws away the mic and holds his title belt high to boos from the crowd.

Chase: This is a sad day for Distortion... Seth Omega is the new Abandoned Champion, by cheating nonetheless! I- hey, where are you going?

PX dislodges his headset and heads into the ring, his TV Title on his shoulder. Omega turns to see his old foe, and PX brings the mic to his mouth, the crowd booing all the more.

PX: Really, Seth? Are you proud, raising your hands in victory like that? What happened to ‘the cheap way out’? What happened to being for the fans? I hope you’re pleased with yourself, having beaten a heavily injured Champion by ambushing him. Like he wasn’t already at a huge disadvantage. I won my TV Title by beating my opponent honestly. Fairly. I beat some chump to do it, too... Seth Omega, I think it was! You see, what you don’t realise, Seth, is that you’ve just given a huge advantage to Team Corruption and Ammunition. You just eliminated the best man on your team, your own Captain. And now, Seth Omega? Team Corruption is going to eliminate YOU.

PX stands back as Nick Bryson comes down the ramp, still bloody from his match previous. He wields a long chain with a hook at the end, the crowd booing him as he walks down the ramp.

Chase: No! This is bullshit! Nick Bryson and PX are going to ruin any chance Team Distortion has of winning War Games!

There is a sudden cheer from the crowd as Bryson approaches the ring – APOSTASY jumps over the barricade and slams into Bryson from the side, starting a brawl between the two on the ramp. The crowd cheer wildly and PX looks around to see what’s going on.

Chase: FINALLY! Apostasy comes to save the day for Team Distortion here!

PX turns back to Omega and jumps at him, launching fists at the new Abandoned Champion.

Chase: Fuck this-

Chase throws off his headset and jumps into the ring, throwing PX off Seth and launching his own barrage at the TV Champion. The crowd cheer and then explode when Distortion stars pile down the ramp – Dunnwood, David GS, Trey Spruance, Mark Johansson and Alexander Crysto all arrive to help out their brand and receive massive cheers regardless of their normal standing with the crowd.

PX has nowhere to go and is immediately overwhelmed by the Distortion stars, who restrain him and begin obliterating the TV Champ. Apostasy and Bryson have brawled off into the crowd and Johansson hits the Crackdown on PX, starting a chain of finishers, each getting cheers from the crowd. Dunnwood hits the Dead Air Mk II, Spruance a T-Bone Suplex, Crysto the Shattered Skies and finally PX is handed to David GS, who gets the biggest cheers of all as he nails PX with the setup Spear.

The Distortion roster look away from Seth but the crowd begin chanting ‘Take him out! Take him out!’. David GS nods to Dunnwood and points towards the announce table, and Dunnwood lifts PX up, hoisting him onto his shoulder and climbing the turnbuckle to the second rope, where the crowd get on their feet in anticipation of what is coming. Dunnwood hoists PX in the air, lifting him high in a gorilla press position, but he faces the crowd and THROWS PX into the air, sending the TV Champion crashing through the announce table.

PX lies amongst the ruins of the announce desk as “Monster Monster” plays, signalling the end of the show. The green division’s stars and commentator play to the crowd as the copyright information comes up and then fades to black, leaving Distortion victorious on its own turf in the lead up to War Games.

5 weeks later, we're up! Better late than never, I guess. Apologies for the lateness - it's on all the staff who aren't TBM or DGS. Nonetheless, we're up, so comment, TT, do whatever. Looking forward to Catalyst!

The camera fades in to a shot of the new FMW Abandoned Champion Seth Omega proudly holding the FMW Abandoned Championship on his shoulder.

Omega: You know what is really funny?

The camera shakes a "no" reply.

Omega: The fact that none of you fucking chumps saw this coming. What the hell did you think I was going to do? Lay down for Frosty boy? Fuck that...I'm honorable, but I'm not fucking stupid. You see here is a little known secret, I get an added champions bonus for now being the top dog on Distortion. So basically you're asking me to be honorable and do the right thing when 10k is basically getting handed to me for being a champion? You're fucking insane, absolutely insane. But what about Frosty, what about the good guy?

Fuck the good guy. The good guy never wins in FMW, and it's been like that forever and a day. And what exactly makes Frost such a good guy? Hmm...let's think about that one shall we?

Ultimatum II wrote:

O’Rion, Eastwood and Frost charge Drew and they are all over him before he can escape. The three are vicious with Drew, clawing and biting with teeth and hands. Mothers begin covering their children’s eyes as HavOc absolutely rip the flesh itself off of Drew, his blood beginning to cover his entire body. Frost tears viciously at Drew’s arms, scratching until the blood runs freely, while Eastwood acts little better than a dog, biting Drew’s fingers quite viciously, ripping off fingernails and not sparing a second thought for all the blood. O’Rion resorts to simply punching Drew in the face, and it is lucky for Drew that Jaro turns away from the fallen Harlequin and towards him.

Omega: Ew...still seeing that to this day makes me sick. Just to think that is my family...that's just a very very unrealistic thought. And every since I came back to FMW I vowed revenge on HavOc, I vowed that I would make HavOc suffer just as much as Drew suffered at the hands of you. Who is really the bad guy? That's what I thought. Exactly what I thought. So just because I got a little revenge and took a little extra money makes me a sell out? Then I guess I am a sellout...but remember this.

Seth pulls the LPW Hardcore Championship out of the bag and hoists it over his other shoulder before placing a sickening grin on his face.

Omega: I am one of three men to hold two belts in both places, one of them is related to me...so I guess greatness runs in the family huh? Take a snapshot, because this is only the beginning...and at War Games, well let me just say Frost and Dunnwood got theirs for this assault...Harley Quint, Jaro...the target is now on you. This is your new Full Metal Wrestling Abandoned Champion, and reigning Lords of Pain Wrestling Champion....The Next Generation Punisher...Seth Fucking Omega.

The screen fades to black as a dark maniacal laughter is heard from Omega.

OOC: I must say I really love the violent step up this show has taken, everything seemed to flow really well and it was well worth the wait. There was a couple of typing errors but nothing too major, just one question who was the final attack on? Because first it said Omega and then it said PX. It left me a little confused is all.

... I'm not here to sing this shows praises; I didn't like it at all, actually.

I'll post feedback on all shows in the staff thread once Corruption is up.


Fuck this and fuck you, buddy.

The final segment was a little confusing with Seth making a turn, PX coming out, then Distortion vs. PX, I think Mark attacked Omega in there somewhere. Just all in all a clusterfuck. Plus the line about the "money here...money elsewhere" got butchered, added on unnecessarily, and made it blatantly obvious that it was hawked from the ECW DVD.

The Sam and Mark segment stood out as funny to me, but didn't seem right that a guy has a big time one night only return on one show, then gets a segment beat down on the other.

I enjoyed the Spru Ford DGS segment and the matches in general were well written. As usual Hyde was funny , though not as good as her first showing, but still funny. I too felt the clusterfuck beatdown was a little disjointed and people were beating on people then in the next sentence beating on someone they shouldn't. It just read really off to me.

I told you that you weren't gonna pull it out Trey. If I am not there hold your goddamn hand you don't even have a fighting chance. I normally could care fucking less, I mean it's apparent you don't, but that was for our brand man. Do us all a favor go to get dried out or detoxed or whatever and get your shit together. Your no damn good to me anymore or Distortion.....Get the fuck out man!

That was a fun show. PX, nothing personal - I had a good time on commentary with you, but brand loyalty and all that. Fordykins...I'll see you at 12.1. Also, I recommend chicken soup for the sore throat.

Overall, I thought this was a pretty good show.

Also, lookee my new sig.

Too true, I'm afraid.

EDIT: After doing a bit of research, I've come to the conclusion that Rage comics are still funnier.

OOC: See above.

/\

Like a boss.

David GS wrote:

/\

Like a boss.

Correction; Such as one of up-most authority.

i r inarticulate?

CXC: What the fuck are you guys talking about

OOC: yeah, what the fuck

.....I don't really know.

Me either.