FMW DISTORTION 11.1 RESULTS!!!

”Electrify” by Mute Math hits the HSBC Arena in Buffalo, New York as we come live to Distortion 11.1! Cameras and pyro and lights and sounds and stuff are all running full speed ahead as the fans cheer, drink beer and we’re here!

Sam: Good evening everyone! You’re here at Distortion 11.1 with myself Cactus Sam and my broadcast partner Chase!

Chase: And like every other Distortion evening, we’ve got a CRAZY night ahead of us! Tonight is Distortion’s first night at the FMW Games and tonight’s prizes are draft picks! All three of our first matches will result in one superstar changing divisions!

Sam: And then our last match, which will be taking place all through the night and a location separate to this one, is the HOUSE OF HAVOC match where Leon Caprice and Hannibal Frost are currently located as they attempt to win the match and get the prize – the FMW Abandoned Championship, which is FINALLY out of Skyler Striker’s hands!

Chase: This show really doesn’t feature much Skyler at all.

Sam: Thank the Gods. If there were any.

Chase: So! FMW Games, Draft picks and Abandoned Championships! Everything’s up for grabs tonight!

Sam: We may as well get this underway already!

Ella Vader: This is a non-title, Distortion vs. Ammunition match and is set for one fall! The winner will receive ONE DRAFT PICK for their brand! Introducing first, weighing in at 225 pounds and from Rome, Italy, he is MASS CAESAAAAAAAAR!!!

“The Might of Rome” by Hans Zimmer blares over the P.A. and MASS Caesar steps out onto the stage, grinning maniacally as ever, dressed in Roman military garb. Flavius Mercury follows closely behind, carrying a red cushion with him. The crowd boo Caesar as he steps into the ring and brandishes his sword around, but Mercury calmly avoids his weapon-waving master and removes the helmet and cape, as well as the sword, before moving to ringside.

Chase: No lion today?

Sam: I think it’s a bit overdone, Chase. That lion was a one-off and now it’s turned into an awkward sitcom character.

Chase: I think he’s more like the Janitor from Scrubs.

Sam: What, he pops up spouting non-sequiturs?

Chase: You don’t actually know what non-sequiturs are, do you?

Sam: No.


Ella Vader: And his opponent, weighing in at 315 pounds and from Marietta, Georgia, he is the FMW WORLD CHAMPION, TYYYYYYYYRANT!!!!

“Symphony of Destruction” by Megadeth hits the speakers and TyranT emerges, taking his time sauntering to the ring while the crowd shout their disapproval of the World Champion. He eventually makes it to the ring and as the crowd boo even more, he holds his World Championship up high and garners even more hatred.

Chase: Well, TyranT isn’t technically on any brand thanks to the World Title he’s holding up there, but he’s now been drafted to Corruption following Calvin X. Carter’s victory over Abel Steele on Ammunition.

Sam: But TyranT will still be repping for Ammunition for now – the draft changes don’t take place until all 11.1 shows have taken place.

Chase: So go Caesar!

The bell rings and Caesar tries to lock up with the malicious World Champion, but he throws Caesar back with ease and attempts to charge the Roman with a clothesline. Caesar barely ducks, but TyranT hits the ropes and hits a nasty upper forearm to Caesar’s head.

Sam: Not a good start for Caesar here, TyranT’s power might be too much for him tonight.

Chase: Caesar getting to his feet but TyranT puts him in a headlock, wrenching that neck.

Sam: That strength is always going to be dominant in TyranT’s matches – he’s not fast, but he’s got some serious weight behind him.

Chase: Caesar trying to battle out, and he does, hits the ropes, tries to shove TyranT – look at that! TyranT didn’t even move when Caesar hit him! He tries again, hits the ropes, forearm to the chest – nothing!

Sam: TyranT’s a machine!

Chase: Caesar hits the ropes again, TyranT waits and BIG BOOT to the face of Caesar! His nose must be aching!

Sam: Look at Caesar, just laid out from that boot to the skull! Poor Distortion.

Chase: It’s not over just yet. TyranT walks over and puts a boot on Caesar’s chest, he’s going for a cheap pin. One, two and kickout from Caesar.

Sam: TyranT’s so confident of his victory he doesn’t even bother hooking the leg!

Chase: That might cost him later on, Sam. The big man hoists Caesar up and belly to belly-

Sam: Caesar’s got his leg hooked! Ty can’t lift him!

Chase: The World Champion having difficulty getting Caesar up, he tries to lift again but no good!

Sam: Caesar now laying some clubbing forearms into TyranT’s back, one after the other and after five or six the champ lets go! Caesar now has a bit of a chance, he kicks the big man in the gut and hits the ropes, going for an enzuigiri!

Chase: TyranT catches him! SPINNING POWERSLAM! MASS Caesar is taken down again and TyranT is just relentless tonight!

Sam: Caesar almost got back into it there... Ammunition is dominating at the moment!

Chase: TyranT stays down to pin Caesar, this time he hooks the leg, one, two, kickout again from Caesar!

Caesar refuses to give up and TyranT lifts Caesar to his feet, grabbing him around the waist and hoisting his feet off the ground as he locks in a bearhug on the Roman warrior. Caesar struggles to break free, trying to rip TyranT’s hands apart, but the big man is like steel and he does not let go, shaking Caesar violently.

Sam: TyranT’s got Caesar in that bearhug and he’s really not letting up!

Chase: Well, he’s World Champion for a reason, Sam. Caesar is slowly fading as that bearhug just keeps going.

Sam: Thing is, I can’t tell if TyranT wants the draft pick, wants to preserve his reputation as Champion, or if he just wants to tear his opposition apart! I mean, he did quite a number on poor Abel Steele on Ammunition... I mean, we’re going to have a new Gold Card holder because of TyranT!

Chase: I’d say it’s a combination of the last two. Do you really think Ty gives a damn about Ammunition – or Corruption, or Distortion? The words ‘team player’ don’t exactly come to mind when you talk about him is all I’m saying.

Sam: True that.

Chase: The words ‘World Champion’ do, though, and you become Champion by winning – which TyranT is doing fairly well here! Caesar’s eyes are drooping and I think this one might be over without a fight!

Sam: Referee comes over and raises Caesar’s arm... it drops once!

Chase: Three times and this match is over, folks.

Sam: A second time, raises it, Caesar still not looking like he’s going to make an imminent comeback... the arm drops a second time!

Chase: The referee will call this match off if it drops a third time! He raises Caesar’s hand... TyranT is going to win! It drops!

Sam: NO! Caesar keeps his hand from dropping! He’s got that fist raised high in the air and he won’t let go yet! Look at Mercury on the outside, bashing away at the ring mat, trying to stir up support for Caesar! And it’s working, the crowd are throwing their support behind Distortion’s maniacal Roman emperor! Listen to them roar!

Chase: Like a lion?

Sam: Who cares! Caesar now elbowing TyranT’s head violently and the big man lets go, he stumbles back! Caesar hits the ropes, enzuigiri to the World Champion!

Chase: TyranT is now on the back foot as Caesar mounts a comeback! He whips TyranT into the corner! He backs up, and there’s a turnbuckle shining wizard!

Sam: Caesar pressing the World Champion hard here! He brings TyranT back with a bulldog, CM Punk style! Caesar poses! He’s got that fist raised, thumbs up! THUMBS DOWN! He’s going to execute the World Champion!

Chase: He goes to the turnbuckle! A little unorthodox from Caesar!

Sam: He’s climbing! He’s climbing! This could be a HUGE upset for Distortion!

Chase: MASS Caesar on the top turnbuckle with TyranT flat out on the mat! THUMBS DOWN!!!!!!!! MASS Caesar jumps and hits TyranT with the CONSUL’S CALL!

Sam: He’s riled up and now he’s calling for it to end! Caesar lifts TyranT up! He’s got him in a pumphandle position, he’s going for HAIL JUPITER! He lifts TyranT-

Chase: TYRANT SLIPS OFF THE BACK! He spins Caesar around, kick to the gut! TyranT hoists Caesar up powerbomb style and TYRANT BOMB! TYRANT BOMB! THIS ONE’S DONE!

Sam: DAMNIT! ONE! TWO! THREEEE! NOOOOOO!

Chase: TyranT has won this match after an incredible comeback from Caesar!

Ella Vader: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, representing Ammunition, the FMW World Champion, TYYYYYYYYRANT!

TyranT (8.56 aps + 1.5 avs = 10.06 total)
MASS Caesar (8.42 aps + 0.9 avs = 9.32 total)

“Symphony of Destruction” plays again as TyranT pants, hoisting himself to his feet. The referee hands TyranT his World Title belt, which he hoists up again to a chorus of boos. He leaves shortly afterwards, not bothering to stick around to find out the draft pick. Flavius Mercury enters the ring and attempts to lift his master up, which he does, and Caesar receives an ovation from the crowd.

Sam: An admirable performance from MASS Caesar, but it wasn’t enough to down the World Champion tonight.

Chase: And now we get to find out who Ammunition will be gaining...

The METAL-tron begins cycling through names and faces, slowing down as the crowd ramp themselves up in anticipation...

Sam: CELESTE?

Chase: No, dumbass. That’s not the decision format. Celeste obviously has an announcement to make about this draft pick.

Celeste’s face interrupts the METAL-tron before it can stop its cycle, and the crowd boo.

Celeste: Now, now. Unfortunately, right now is not the time to reveal this draft pick – but rest assured, once tonight is over, you’ll find out who Ammunition’s draft pick is. I assure you of that!

Celeste disappears and the crowd boo as we return to the commentary desk.

Sam: Well, that was anti-climactic.

Chase: Don’t you mean anti-Celestic?


We go backstage to the locker room, where Dunnwood is about to enter. He pushes the door open and walks in, rubbing his face with a washcloth, but within moments he notices that something is extremely wrong.

All the lockers are covered in shattered mirrors.

Dunnwood: What in the...

He rotates 360, trying to see what is happening, but every single locker from top to bottom is covered in shattered mirrors. He taps one of them, trying to see if it is real, but they make the sound of a fingernail tapping on glass, and he can hear no steel behind it. Shaking his head, Dunnwood turns the key and opens his own locker, but as he does his feet are covered in blood, which runs from the bottom and quickly spills out onto the floor.

Dunnwood: Wha’ the FUCK is goin’ on?

Dunnwood removes his blood soaked shoes and socks, heading to the showers, which are devoid of mirrors. Turning on the shower to wash his feet off, Dunnwood is quickly shocked again as blood pours out of the shower head. He curses loudly and tries to turn off the tap, but is unable to – the tap turns, but the blood keeps spraying out and washing down the drain. Dunnwood turns around and his eyes narrow in fury as he reads the writing on the lockers in front of him.

DUNNWOOD

Ella Vader: The following match is a triple threat Distortion vs. Ammunition vs. Corruption Draft match! The winner will receive a draft pick for their brand! Introducing first, representing Distortion, weighing 200 pounds and from Newcastle, Australia, MC STEEL!

“East Jesus Nowhere” by Green Day signals the arrival of Steel, who roars down to the ring to cheers from the crowd. Once inside the ring, he climbs the turnbuckles and plays to his Distortion home crowd.

Chase: Listen to the approval of these Distortion fans! They’re loving MC Steel here!

Sam: But only because they’re the home crowd – would they rather cheer any of the others?

Ella Vader: Representing Ammunition, weighing 350 pounds and from Saint-Denis, Paris, France, DIDIER DIAMANT!

“Lifestyle” by Jim Jones interrupts MC Steel’s plays to the crowd, and darkness covers the arena as the crowd boo. Flickering lights illuminate the silhouette of Diamant as he walks to the ring. He slides in and stands, and walks up to MC Steel, towering over him by almost a full foot.

Chase: That’s quite a bit of a size difference.

Sam: Steel isn’t backing down. But I don’t fancy his chances.

Steel mouths off at Diamant, but Diamant then knees Steel in the abdomen, and begins to lay fists into him, knocking the smaller man to the mat.

Chase: They’re already off! What about our Corruption representative?

“Broken Dreams” by Shadow Harvest plays over the arena and Jason Krow emerges to raucous jeers from the crowd. He sprints to the ring and begins hammering Diamant’s back, forcing the giant to turn around.

Chase: And now Jason Krow is here, wasting no time in taking it to Diamant! He’s laying into the big man with those forearms!

Sam: I don’t really know how Krow or Steel expect to overcome that size... this guy looks brutal. Plus, he’s all sorts of mean.

Chase: Krow still trying to attack, but Diamant launches a huge clothesline, Krow ducks, and SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT FROM STEEL! Diamant on the mat and Steel pins, one, two and Krow throws him off! He’s not letting him have this match yet!

Sam: Diamant crawls away, perhaps a bit surprised there from Steel. Not that he did that much damage, the weakling.

Chase: Surprise is all you need sometimes! Steel now off the ropes and he hits a float-over DDT on Krow! Pinfall attempt, one, two and now Diamant with a big stomp to Steel’s back! Steel rolls off and Diamant hoists both men up...

Sam: Big man foresees a meeting of the minds, I think!

Chase: He does indeed... but Krow ducks UNDER Steel, being thrown by Diamant, and Diamant finds himself holding Steel upside down in his arms as Krow escapes! He drops to one knee?

Sam: Not the time, Krow.

Chase: Mule kick from the ground! He sends both men backwards and hits the ropes, comes back, baseball slide to both men and he’s caught Diamant squarely in the ribs, eliciting a sharp cry of pain! He may have cracked one of them!

Sam: Cracked ribs are nasty... make it hard to breath, possibility of internal bleeding, all sorts of stuff like that.

Chase: If that’s the case, Krow may have just gotten the upper hand! He’s in the ring now, waiting for Steel to get to his feet! Steel’s up and Krow’s on the offensive! He ducks under Steel and grabs him from behind, German suplex with a release! The lightweight Steel goes flying!

Sam: He just rolls along the mat and falls to the floor... he’s like a stick!

Chase: Krow is dominating this match here! Diamant is still getting to his knees, and Steel’s all the way on the other side of the ring, feeling the effects of that fall!

Sam: So should we talk about alcohol or something? This is boring as shit, Krow’s content to sit back and wait for one of them to come back and fight him.

Chase: I think it’s a good strategy, despite the fact he seems a bit arrogant. You’ve got the high ground if you wait.

Sam: Krow’s looking at his arm as if he had a watch on... he’s got all the time in the world.

Chase: Looks like he’s as sick as you of waiting, though.

Krow looks to Diamant and climbs the corner turnbuckle near him, raising his arms in the air in preparation.

Sam: Diamant isn’t thinking to look up, he’s just trying to get to his feet...

Chase: KROW JUMPS! DIVING SENTON! Both men to the floor!

Sam: Diamant should really be having a bigger influence in this match... it’s a shame he’s not more influential, this company’s short on really big guys at the moment.

Chase: So what you’re saying is that you like big guys?

Sam: Watch it. I still know how to land a good punch.

Chase: We can take this outside later, right now MC Steel is rushing around the ring and Krow sees him... he stops Steel and he’s asking him to help get Diamant into the ring! Why would he do that? Then Krow will pin him!

Sam: Evidently Steel not quite so quick as you in the brains section, Chase, because he’s helping to lift Diamant into the ring!

Chase: Krow gives Diamant a shove into the ring and JUMPING SUPERKICK FROM STEEL!

Sam: Krow hits the floor HARD after that! Steel totally took him by surprise and I guess that speed has to count for something!

Chase: Well, MC Steel now planning on taking advantage of the fallen Diamant and he rolls back into the ring as Krow is left nursing a sore nose!

Sam: I’ve got to believe Diamant’s rib, or ribs, is or are cracked. He seems like he’s having real difficulty moving and he’s breathing pretty heavily... and now Steel’s standing over him. The guy’s tiny. Only an injury could lead to this sort of preposterous imbalance.

Chase: You just like seeing small guys get the shit beaten out of them.

Sam: Also true.

Chase: Steel dragging Diamant to the center of the ring, facing up, and he’s heading to the turnbuckle, up he goes! He’s in position, waiting for Diamant to get up and face him!

Sam: How do you know that?

Chase: Because he’s readying his finisher, moron. Do your research. It’s the West Coast Smoker, a shooting star spear!

Sam: That’s never going to work.

Chase: Time will tell! Diamant is slowly getting up, and Steel is ready, he stands!

Sam: HE’S PUSHED!

Chase: Jason Krow jumps to the apron and he’s just SHOVED Steel off the top rope, sending him all the way to the floor! That’s a hideous collision and Steel hits the barrier hard, he’s out of contention and I’d say with Diamant the way he is, Krow can wrap it up right now!

Sam: That’s the brutality I was looking for earlier, by the way. I’m temporarily satisfied.

Chase: Good... I guess. Krow slides into the ring and he’s got Diamant under control... he locks in that wrenching guillotine choke and Diamant taps straight away! This one’s over!

Ella Vader: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, representing Corruption, JASON KROOOOOOOOW!

Jason Krow (8.02 aps + 2.0 avs = 10.02 total)
MC Steel (2.66 aps + 0.1 avs = 2.76 total)
Didier Diamant (0.00 aps + 0.0 avs = 0.00 total)

“Broken Dreams” plays again and Krow releases Diamant, throwing his fists into the air in victory. Steel and Diamant are barely conscious enough to pay attention and medical staff run down to assist both of them.

Chase: Jason Krow wraps this one up for Corruption and they’ll be receiving a draft pick!

Sam: Can’t believe we had that tiny punk representing us... who the hell chose him? Geez.

Chase: Time to see who’ll be joining the Corruption division!

The METAL-tron runs through pictures and names of superstars, and slows as the crowd wait in eager anticipation. The screen then goes black before coming up with...


Sam: WE LOST OUR LION! HE WAS THIS DIVISION’S BIGGEST RATINGS GAINER!

Chase: The facepalm joke is overrated, Sam. Give it up.

Sam: You’re ruining my fun.

Chase: Well, Jason Krow has delivered MASS Caesar to Corruption, and Distortion has only one more chance tonight – Dunnwood has to defeat Jaro in order to do it!

Sam: We’re so screwed.

Chase: We’ll be back, don’t go away!

We go backstage to see not Bloodrose, but Commissioner Smitten standing next to a very attractive young woman with a microphone in hand.

Smitten: Alright. So, for those of you at home who may not be aware of recent events backstage, following Distortion 10.2, Bloodrose resigned from his position as backstage interviewer on Distortion. He refused to fulfil his contract, which stated that following every interview he must say the words ‘it’s a horrible night to’, and then follow it with a humorous anecdote of his own choosing. So allow me to introduce our new Distortion interviewer – Ms. Kandi Apple.

Kandi waves at the camera with her tongue out, very overexcited.

Smitten: Almost like a trained seal...

Smitten leaves the stage and Kandi’s grin extends all the way to her ears as she starts her first day on the job.

Apple: HI EVERYONE! Here’s my first guest! He just beat those other two guys – the big fat black guy and the small guy with the Mohawk thing! JASON KROW!!!

Jason Krow walks into the area and stares at Apple with disbelief in his eyes.

Apple: So you beat those guys, huh? What was that like?

Krow: Worthless. Infants like that don’t deserve to be in the ring with me.

Apple: They’re not babies, silly! One of them looked like he could give birth, though... haha! He was really tall! Didn’t that scare you?

Krow: Of course it didn’t scare me. Behemoth or technical genius are both the same in my eyes – slightly different styles are needed to combat them, but they’ll both fall and see the truth – that their worlds can be burnt to the ground.

Apple: Worlds are pretty big...

Krow bites his bottom lip, breathing in deeply so as to have patience enough to deal with the absent-minded Kandi.

Apple: So, uh, do you know what you’ll do next?

Krow: Blaze a warpath. Keep destroying everyone’s illusions of grandeur. It doesn’t matter who or where or when – I’ll get round to everyone sooner or later. You’d best be on guard, too... seems like a tiny match would be enough to send you up in smoke.

Krow leaves without another word and Apple is left thinking about his words.

Chase: Well, that was interesting... poor Bloodrose.

Sam: Meh. No-one will remember him within a few months. Plus, this girl looks entertainingly stupid.

Chase: Well, Krow did win emphatically, but right now there’s something far more important – it’s time for Jaro vs. Dunnwood!

Ella Vader: The following is a Distortion vs. Corruption match and is set for one fall! The winner of this match will receive not one, but TWO DRAFT PICKS for their brand!

Chase: Whoa! The stakes just got raised!

Ella Vader: Introducing first, representing Corruption, weighing in at 227 pounds and from Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada, he is the former Ultraviolent Champion, JARO!!!!

“Mother” by Danzig bursts to life and the arena responds with jeering throughout, but Jaro is no nonsense on his way to the ring, entering it and snatching the microphone from Vader’s hands.

Jaro: Can we cut the shtick, please? I know you hate me and I hate you, and besides, none of what you fuckers say matters regardless.

There are more boos from the audience, but Jaro continues anyway.

Jaro: Just watch the screen.

Quote :

Stone: That’s static! Could it be what I’m thinking? Is it Virus? Is Virus what Jaro fears?

HAhaahhhHAHAah ha ha HAHA aaahhh HAHA

Foxx: That’s not Virus! That’s Harlequin’s sick laugh! Does Jaro fear Harlequin?

There is a pause, then silence. And then the lights come back on.

Stone: IT’S HAVOC! HAVOC ARE IN THE RING, IT’S SYANIDE, HANNIBAL FROST AND HARLEQUIN!!!!

Foxx: JARO FEARS HAVOC!!! THEY’VE GOT HIM SURROUNDED, HOLY SHIT!

The crowd EXPLODE in cheers and Syanide, Frost and Harlequin close in on Jaro in a triangle of doom.

Stone: Jaro doesn’t know what to do... AND HAVOC LAY INTO JARO! THEY’RE GOING AT HIM WITH SOME SURIOUS BLOWS!!! JARO IS GETTING BEATEN DOWN BY HAVOC RIGHT HERE AND NOW!!!

Foxx: JARO IS ALREADY BEATEN BUT NOW HE’S GETTING HIS COMEUPPANCE FOR ALL THOSE ATTACKS HE’S ORCHESTRATED! HAVOC HAVE REUNITED AND TONIGHT THEY ARE IN CONTROL!!

Stone: Syanide picks Jaro up by the legs, Frost and Harlequin taking a shoulder each as the trio lift Jaro above their heads... AND THEY PULL HIM RIGHT BACK DOWN TO THE MAT, FACE FIRST! JARO’S BLOOD IS STAINING THE MAT AND DEAR GOD ALMIGHTY, HAVOC ARE BACK IN BUSINESS!!!

The crowd chant ‘You fear HavOc! You fear HavOc!’ as Frost, Syanide and Harlequin stand in the ring, holding each other’s arms high, two belts between the three of them. The crowd switch their chants to ‘HavOc! HavOc! HavOc!’ as the trio leave Jaro a bloodied mess in the ring, the EMTS sliding in to collect what remains of him.

Jaro: So, HavOc are back. Unfortunately, I can’t let them ride their high horses for too long. Harley Quint has NO FUCKING RIGHT to hold that Ultraviolent Championship. I DEFINE that belt. I AM Ultraviolence. I have possessed that belt for over two years of my life. And then Quint and his pets come along, trying to start a war. Do they think I’m evil? Fuck, it’s easy to mistake intelligence for being evil.

Chase: Hah. Listen to him. A master of deceit.

Sam: You talk like he’s Satan.

Chase: He’s the Satan of FMW.

Sam: That’s a bit of a claim you’re making, Chase – I’ll write that down for future blackmailing purposes.

Jaro: Let me tell you this, then. If HavOc want a war, then they will GET a motherfucking war. I am not a pushover. I made my name off destroying people, and those bastards will be no different. They don’t realise what they’ve started. However far they thought they were taking this... I’ll turn it on them and take it further. I will push them into oblivion, and the key to all of this? The pivot wheel to this destruction of HavOc is Dunnwood.

The crowd boo again, not particularly Dunnwood fans either.

Chase: Dunnwood? Really? I mean, I know he’s sick and twisted and all, but he’s not particularly high up on the list of superstars with a lot of wins.

Sam: You don’t need wins to crush brains, Chase.

Jaro: Dunnwood is not with HavOc any longer. However, he has been kind enough to be doing some of my dirty work for me, which has been rather handy.

Chase: See? He’ll admit he has dirty work to be done on live TV! The guy’s not good for this company, I tell you. He’s like Vince McMahon – keep him out the back, where he belongs!

Sam: You’re just paranoid you’re going to lose your job over that Satan comment, Chase.

Jaro: Unfortunately, though, Dunnwood was nowhere to be found during the aforementioned attack on my personage by HavOc. Dunnwood was absent during the robbing and mugging that HavOc perpetrated upon myself. Dunnwood’s location led to the loss of my Ultraviolent Championship, and therefore he has to suffer the consequences. So, Dunnwood! I’m offering you a choice!

The crowd are shouting ‘what’ after every sentence now, but Jaro pays them no attention.

Jaro: You can choose to play the Switzerland in this conflict and remain neutral – which is as bad as siding with HavOc! OR, you can join me, and you can help me get rid of the wrongdoers that comprise Harlequin’s circus squadron! Which will it be? Introduce him, generic announcer!

Vader looks momentarily offended by Jaro but he shoots her a death glare and she brings the microphone to her mouth.

Ella Vader: And his opponent, uh... weighing 280 pounds and from Blackpool, England, DUNNWOOD!

“Voodoo People (Pendulum Remix)” by The Prodigy plays over the arena and Dunnwood emerges to more boos. He drags behind him a burlap sack, which looks to be moving slightly. In his other hand is a shovel akin to Matt Dunn’s old weapon of choice. He lifts the bag and bundles it into the ring, sliding in afterwards and facing off with Jaro, shovel still in hand.

Chase: Dunnwood has what looks like a person in a sack and a shovel... this isn’t going to end well unless he hits Jaro with it.

Sam: It’s going to end well as long as he hits SOMEONE with it.

Dunnwood looks long and hard at Jaro before smiling and handing him the shovel.

Chase: Oh, shit...

Sam: Here we go! Dunnwood and Jaro are on the same team and that sack’s going to get a beatdown!

Jaro raises the shovel above his head and brings it down hard on the sack, and begins repeating this attack. The crowd boo as the sack shudders with each blow, struggling to get out and emitting yelps of pain. Dunnwood joins in too, stomping away brutally at whatever is inside the sack.

Chase: SOMEONE STOP THIS! If there’s a person inside that you’re going to KILL them!!!

Sam: Wouldn’t be the first time someone’s died on FMW Television!

Jaro looks furious, and he hands the shovel to Dunnwood, yelling at Vader to give him the mic, which she does. Dunnwood continues attacking the sack with the shovel, while Jaro looks livid, running his hand through his hair ala Edge.

Jaro: DO YOU GET IT? DO YOU GET IT NOW, YOU BASTARD? THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK WITH ME! THIS IS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU FUCK WITH JARO!! I WILL DESTROY YOU! THIS IS WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU FUCK WITH ME!!!! OPEN THE SACK, DUNNWOOD! OPEN IT! LET THEM SEE WHAT’S INSIDE!!!!

Dunnwood tosses the shovel aside and unties the top of the sack, dragging out what looks like the bloodied of Chuckles the Clown, former henchman of Harlequin.

Jaro: HEY, CHUCKLES! HEY! IF YOU LIVE, TELL THAT BASTARD HARLEQUIN THAT YOU DON’T FUCK WITH JARO!! TELL HIM YOU DON’T FUCK WITH ME! GOT IT?

Chase: Holy shit... that’s messed up.

Sam: Grow up, pansy. That’s Jaro. He’s sending a message in true Jaro style.

Chase: Come on, man. Jaro’s sunk to a new low here. None of the HavOc members are even in the building tonight, and he takes it out on this guy? That’s disgusting. I stand by my claims.

Jaro: You know that match between Dunnwood and me? IT’S NOW A 2 ON 1 HANDICAP MATCH! CHUCKLES AGAINST JARO AND DUNNWOOD! RING THE BELL!

Chase: WHAT? That’s ridiculous! That’s so bullshit that there aren’t words for it!

Jaro nods to Dunnwood, who puts a foot on Chuckles’ bloodied and almost caved-in chest. The referee, looking sickened and nauseous, counts the three, and nods to Vader.

Ella Vader: Ladies... ladies and gentlemen, here are your winners... Jaro and Dunnwood...

With that, Jaro leaves the ring, and Dunnwood follows closely behind. They don’t stick around to find out the draft picks, and medical staff rush the ring in numbers to retrieve Chuckles and keep him alive if possible.

Chase: That’s just appalling. Jaro calls out Dunnwood, the two of them beat up a helpless and ally-less Chuckles, and then call a match against him?

Sam: Look at it this way – Distortion pinned him, so we get both the draft picks! About time!

Chase: Ugh... I think I’d rather have given them away to not have seen that.

The crowd boo Jaro and Dunnwood all the way out until the METAL-tron comes to life, flashing between superstars until it comes up with...

Chase: Whoa! Seth Omega of the Broken Saints has arrived on Distortion!

“Nightmare” by Avenged Sevenfold hits the arena and Seth Omega makes his way onto the stage, waving to the Distortion fans, who give him a loud cheer. He has a mic in hand and the crowd hush as he speaks.

Omega: Evening, all! Just thought I’d pop in and say hi... I figured that this brand needed a representative from the Saints, so I’m here. And that Abandoned Title, those Tag Titles... now they can’t run away from me anymore. I WILL be coming for them. Mark my words!

Sam: Oh, joy. More Broken Saints programming and more arrogant mouth-running.

Chase: Maybe a bit more justice to stop things like what we just witnessed!

Omega leaves to more cheering as the METAL-tron fires up again. Flickering through images, names and brands, it slows down slowly and slowly until it reveals...

Chase: YES! Abel Steele is now a Distortion superstar!

Sam: He won’t be joining us, though... if you missed Ammunition, Steele got mauled by TyranT. He’s not going to be on FMW programming for a LONG time.

Chase: Well, that’s unfortunate.

Sam: His Gold Card is up for grabs, though! 11.2 will see qualifiers for the Gold Card Gauntlet match which will be held at Catalyst! Distortion has another chance to pull ahead in the FMW Games!

Chase: God knows we need it so far...

Sam: Seth Omega and Abel Steele are now Distortion superstars thanks to Jaro and Dunnwood... we’ll be right back!

We go backstage to see Skyler Striker walking down a hallway, calm and collected. There are some shouts behind him and he turns around to see Kandi Apple chasing after him maniacally. She eventually catches up to him and takes a moment to catch her breath while Skyler looks down in amusement.

Striker: Can I help you?

Apple: Well, yes, that’d be great, I’d love a bottled water...

Striker: Sigh. I meant is there anything you need from me that you can’t get from someone else who gives a damn?

Apple: They... they asked me to do an interview with you, but you didn’t show up, and then I saw you walking down the hallway nearby, so I chased after you except I think I cut myself on my leg... ouch... anyway, can I interview you? It’s kind of my new job here...

Striker: If it takes less than a minute and I can do it right here and now, then sure.

Apple: Oh, uh, okay... can you wait her for a minute? I left my microphone back there and...

Striker: This camera watching us right now has a microphone. Speak to it.

Apple looks up at the camera and the microphone hovering above it before calming herself and attempting to look professional.

Apple: Good evening again everyone! I’m here with Skyler Striker! So, Skyler, you don’t have a match tonight – why did you give your title match to your partner? You didn’t really have any need to, and besides, if I had a shiny title belt like you did I’d want it back...

Striker: I gave it to him because he needed repaying for what I did to him inside the Chamber. Simple.

Apple: Really? You just changed your mind like that?

Striker: Look, if you get caught up in an Elimination Chamber match, the adrenaline hits you. You have to go further at every step and you can’t hold back, and when I was eliminated I was still full of energy, so I used some of it. It was a silly decision, really.

Apple: So you are a good guy after all? What about those rumours that say you’re addicted to painkillers?

Striker sighs and points behind Apple, feigning interest in a far away event.

Striker: Look at that! That’s incredible!

Apple: WHAT? WHAT IS? WHERE?

Striker: There! Where I’m pointing! Go have a look, before it disappears!

Apple: I’m on the job!

Kandi Apple runs off in pursuit of the fake ‘thing’, and Striker rolls his eyes, continuing down the hallway and out of sight.

Chase: Well, with everything else out of the way, it’s now time for the main event!

Sam: It’s going to be NASTY!

Chase: Unfortunately, this match isn’t taking place within this building – as the name might suggest, it’s inside the HavOc House...but we’ll do our best to commentate for those of you at home, although microphones are set up inside the House.

Sam: Ella Vader to explain the rules.

Ella Vader: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is a HOUSE OF HAVOC match, and it is for the Full Metal ABANDONED CHAMPIONSHIP! The rules are simple – the first man to escape the specially-constructed Maze De HavOc wins the match and the Title with it. The Champion, Hannibal Frost, will defend his belt against the challenger, Leon Caprice. The METAL-tron will display the Theatre from multiple cameras set up to watch the event. Let the match begin!

Ella points towards the giant screen, which flashes to life and reveals a dark and dusty room, in which both Frost and Caprice are already tearing away at each other.

Chase: Wasting no time, these two.

Sam: Why would you? It’s the first to escape! If one can knock the other out, he’s practically won the match!

Chase: That depends, though... Frost should know the layout of this place. It’s a close design to the original theatre, created specifically for this match. Frost should remember it well. Caprice, on the other hand, should not. That’s a HUGE advantage for the Champion!

Sam: Unfortunately, I think he’s a little preoccupied with his challenger.

Frost and Caprice trade fists, not bothering to exchange pleasantries. Caprice manages to get a low kick to Frost’s knee and he sprints out the door, with Frost in close pursuit. Caprice runs down the hallway and takes a left, while Frost takes a right – only to see a dead end a few seconds later.

Chase: That few seconds could cost Frost the match! He’s now got Caprice ahead of him and I can’t believe Frost has slipped up like that!

Sam: Well, it’s been a while since the Theatre was regularly used by HavOc as a unit. Also, Frost is a dumbass.

Chase: You’re just saying that because he won more singles titles than you.

Sam: Fuck you.

Frost: You can’t run forever, guv! This is my house you’re in!

There is silence, and only the sound of footsteps as Frost follows Caprice’s trail. Frost suddenly bursts into a large, empty room only to be hit from behind with a sizeable bar of steel.

Caprice: I don’t plan on running.

Chase: Caprice just NAILED Frost with that piece of steel, that’s got to be causing him some serious damage!

Sam: Caprice is more vicious than I thought... impressive!

Chase: He’s raising it above his head again... that could crush Frost’s skull! HOLY SHI-

Sam: FROST ROLLS AWAY! Caprice’s steel hits the ground and Frost tackles Caprice against the wall hard, ramming his shoulder into the brick wall! Frost now looks around for a weapon as Caprice is dazed!

Chase: Everything and anything in that house is legal as a weapon... unfortunately, this room’s pretty much empty and so Frost’s just lost the advantage as Caprice headbutts him back!

Sam: Both men reeling from that... it was a bit of a silly move.

Chase: But it has busted Frost open! And it’s also broken his sunglasses as Caprice steps on them by accident!

Sam: NOT THE RAY-BANS!

Chase: Looks like Frost shares your sentiments.

Frost charges Caprice again but Caprice ducks under Frost and lifts him, taking the fireman’s carry straight into the wall, which Frost hits back-first before crumpling to the ground. Caprice takes a second to breathe before running to one of the room’s two doors – unfortunately, it fails to open no matter how hard Caprice pulls.

Frost: Only one way out, guv... every other door is locked. Only way you’re gettin’ through there is with serious construction equipment!

Chase: Frost taking this match very, very seriously as he gets back up to his knees! He’s running to the other door but Caprice is almost there already!

Sam: Caprice gets there first but he’s fumbling with the handle and Frost collides with him at full pace! Caprice goes reeling into the nearby wall and Frost quickly unlocks the door, sliding into the next room!

Chase: He could potentially lock Caprice out and end this match right here and now!

Sam: Caprice tugging at the handle, but nothing there! He’s locked out!

Chase: No! Camera footage of the other side, look!

The camera on the METAL-tron switches to view the side of the door that Frost is on. Frost stands against the door, holding the handle as tightly as possible so it will not turn. He can feel Caprice struggling against it, but then there is a bit of calm. Frost takes advantage of this to search the room – filled with furniture.

Sam: This room looks fun. Frost has plenty of places to hide.

Chase: He doesn’t even need to hide if he can get a chair to stop that door from opening easily!

Sam: Well, he’s got one now anyway, and he’s propped it against that door... but where’s Caprice?

Chase: Camera change again! Look at that! Caprice has that steel bar and he’s approaching the door... surely he wouldn’t... HE’S CHARGING!

Sam: CAPRICE RAMS THROUGH THOSE WEAK BRICKS NEXT TO THE DOOR!

Chase: Leon Caprice has just opened a hole in the wall and Frost won’t be able to keep him out now! Leon slips through, discarding that steel bar and chasing down Frost, tackling him by the legs to take the Abandoned Champion down!

Sam: Lot of history between these two... Frost and Crash Scene have had quite the story to tell recently.

Chase: I don’t think Caprice gives a damn about Striker right now... he does want that belt, though!

Sam: True that, he’s wailing on Frost like there’s no tomorrow! He lifts Frost up and there’s a counter attempt from the Champ, but no, Caprice keeps him down for the moment with an elbow to the neck!

Chase: Caprice dragging him towards a... a couch?

Sam: NO! NOT THE COMFORTABLE SEATING!

Chase: Do I sense sarcasm?

Caprice dumps Frost on the couch and then searches nearby for any appropriate weaponry. Spotting the perfect arsenal, Caprice runs over a few steps to a massive pile of folded-up steel chairs, which he begins throwing like Frisbees at Frost.

Sam: Look at that! Leon Caprice is tossing those things at Frost with no regard for his opponent’s safety!

Chase: You’re right, it would be weird if you cared about people like that.

Sam: Nah, I just want to see someone feel the pain. Frost trying to shield himself and he jumps over the other side of the couch just as Leon runs out of folded chairs to throw at his opponent!

Chase: Frost looks around, and he’s spotted the next exit just a few metres away, he sprints for it but Caprice is hot on his trail... no door this time?

Sam: Just a doorway! Frost sprints through and Caprice is there a second or two later!

Caprice: Give up, Frost! This vendetta ends tonight!

Frost spins on his heels, causing both men to stop for a moment.

Frost: Vendetta? Guv, you ‘aven’t got a clue. I don’t want revenge, I want to balance things out. I want to unsettle those who should be unsettled – like your pal Skyler!

Caprice: You leave him out of this! I can handle Skyler fine!

Frost: Oh, really? Seems like he’s handling YOU if he’s the one who should be here!

Caprice dives at Frost, but Frost sidesteps him and throws Caprice against the dilapidated benchtop on the nearby wall. Caprice yells as his back hits it at an awkward angle, but Frost takes no mercy and rams his shoulder into Leon’s stomach, winding him.

Chase: A brief verbal exchange between Hannibal Frost and Leon Caprice there – and Frost has a point, it should be Skyler inside this house and not Leon!

Sam: But Skyler was kind enough to give Leon his shot. What a nice guy. *cough*.

Chase: Unfortunately, I agree – there has to be some sort of ulterior motive there. Nonetheless, what’s happened has happened and this match is totally legal, so whatever result comes out of this House will stand here tonight!

Sam: Frost looking above Leon and he’s jumped up to the benchtop... he’s grabbed the portrait of that old lady above it!

Chase: Off the wall it comes... and DOWN onto the head of Caprice! That portrait might have been worth a fortune!

Sam: Not anymore! Bet it’d still sell well on eBay, though.

Chase: Caprice dazed by the blow of that thing over his head, but he’s noticed it has a frame around it... Caprice starts SPINNING!

Sam: He’s like a helicopter and Frost is taken by surprise, that frame catching him right around the neck and Frost moves quite a bit back as Caprice continues spinning towards him!

Chase: He can’t spin forever, though...

And indeed Chase is right. Caprice becomes dizzy and has to stop, trying to wrench the portrait off of his head as he staggers. Frost rubs his throat gingerly but he spots the next exit and runs for it. Caprice is a good ten seconds behind by the time he is able to give chase. The camera switches to Frost’s path, leading him to two doors, both of which he tests – and both of which can be opened. Frost takes the right one without hesitating and disappears into it, while Caprice appears in the same spot a few seconds later and takes the other route.

Sam: Both men being forced down different paths! Frost is on our cameras here and he’s just gone through a door into... a room with a butler?!

Chase: He’s just standing there... Frost approaches him cautiously...

Butler: Would you care for some tea, sir?

Frost: What in the...

Butler: Would you care for some tea, sir?

Frost: No, thanks...

Frost goes around but the butler’s head twists eerily on his neck and then a small ticking sound can be heard. Frost notices this a fraction of a second too late and then the butler’s head explodes, releasing huge amounts of smoke into the room.

Sam: That’s some nasty carnival trick! Frost is coughing pretty badly and it looks like Caprice might suffer the same fate!

Caprice enters his butler room and sees the same dilemma as Frost, although the butler in this one is obviously still intact.

Butler: Would you-

Unlike Frost, however, Caprice does not waste time dealing with the butler and he charges straight through to the next door, opening it and rushing through the dark hallway beyond. Frost, too, eventually staggers to his own door, albeit a nasty cough, jogging blindly into the hall.

Chase: Both these men’s paths are dark... what if only one leads to the exit? The other will have made a horrible mistake and may have given up the belt!

Sam: Then again... they may end up in the same room!

The camera suddenly flickers to the final room, which Caprice enters two or three seconds before Frost.

Chase: No way... it’s the stage of the former Theatre de HavOc!

Sam: So it is... this is a place Frost is familiar with! Both men have just emerged on stage, and at the end of the audience aisles is... THE EXIT!

Chase: This is it for both men, but they’ve both seen it... neither of them are rushing for it!

Sam: Well, think about it... like in the second room, if one guy gets there a fraction of a second after the first, he can bump the other guy aside and get through! That could mean whoever goes first loses – they’ll want to incapacitate the other first!

Chase: And they’re not wasting time on that one, either!

Sam: Frost’s got a fireplace on his side of the stage, and he’s got... fire tongs? Oh boy.

Chase: And Caprice is surrounded with candles... he’s picked up a candelabra, complete with six burning candles!

Sam: Frost looks like a bit of a pyro, too – he’s just reached into the fire and picked up a hot piece of wood!

Caprice: This is it, Frost... end of the line.

Frost: Not by a long shot, guv. Like I said – this is my house.

Caprice: if that’s the case, I’ll just burn the house DOWN!

Caprice swipes behind him with his lit candles and knocks over dozens of other braces, causing candles to fall onto the stage and first row or two of seating. Looking beside him as Frost stares in momentary confusion, Caprice holds his candles up to the cyclorama backdrop of the stage, which catches alight and spreads quickly. The whole theatre is soon alight, setting a dramatic scene.

Frost: Touché, Leon.

Chase: Geez... these men are insane! That whole room is lit up and blazing!

Sam: This is the fight I like to see! Frost throws his weapon aside and he charges Leon! Leon ducks a clothesline!

Chase: Caprice tries a clothesline of his own but Frost ducks this time and hits a picture-perfect STO on Caprice! He could make a break for the exit here! Frost is bleeding pretty heavily from that earlier wound and aggravation from Caprice, but he’s not running for it yet!

Sam: Caprice trying to get up from that hard impact, that’s solid wooden flooring...

Chase: Frost stalking Caprice from behind! He’s getting ready for his finisher here! Caprice is up, Frost charges!

Sam: CAPRICE COUNTERS! Kick to the gut! HE’S GOT FROST!

Chase: He’s going for the Time Limit! HE LIFTS FROST OVER HIS HEAD-

Sam: AND FROST COUNTERS AGAIN! Caprice drops Frost to his feet and staggers!

Chase: Frost takes advantage! He runs and HE NAILS IT! THE BLIND SIDE! CAPRICE IS OUT AFTER THAT!

Sam: Frost leaps off the stage and he’s semi-jogging through the growing flames! He’s going to leave Caprice to burn! HAHA!

Chase: There’s the exit and Frost turns the handle... HE’S OUT! FROST HAS WON THE HOUSE OF HAVOC TWO!

Ella Vader: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner and STILL the ABANDONED CHAMPION, HANNIBAAAAAAAAAAAL FROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOST!!!!!!

Hannibal Frost (8.60 aps + 1.8 avs = 10.40 total)
Leon Caprice (8.61 aps + 0.5 avs – 0.3 penalty = 8.81 total)

“Dead or Alive” by Bon Jovi plays over the ring as we can see fire engines braking outside the open door. Caprice is saved first by men in fireproof suits and then hoses begin spraying water into the burning theatre.

Chase: Admittedly the theatre was constructed by our guys just for this match, so not a big loss overall... but Hannibal Frost has retained his Abandoned Championship over Leon Caprice! He’s won both House of HavOc matches that he’s been in!

Sam: Makes you wonder whether Striker could have done it... Caprice will be kicking himself when he wakes up!

Chase: If there were any doubts about Frost’s ability as Abandoned Champion, there they go! He’s cemented himself as top of the pops on Distortion here tonight!

Sam: Well, don’t go away – we still have to find out the identity of our new number one contender to the world title, and it’s coming up right after this!

“Symphony of Destruction” by Megadeth causes the crowd to come alive with booing. TyranT emerges on the main stage and walks to the ring, the World Title on his shoulders.

Chase: Well, we’ve still got to find out who the number one contender to the World Title is tonight – and I guess TyranT wants to know, too, it’ll be his opponent for Catalyst!

Sam: Yeah, pretty confident win over Romeo at Lethal Injection, although not without the help of Faith!

Chase: Well, there’s the mic, so let’s hear what he’s got to say...

TyranT brings it up to his mouth, but waits, looking around at everyone in the audience booing him at the top of their lungs.

TyranT: Ah, who said yer opinions counted anyways? Ah’m the goddamn TyranT! And ye’re all gonna have ter listen to mah opinions no matter what ye’ want! Besides, didn’t yez watch Lethal Injection? Didn’t ye’ watch me beat Romeo into a bloody pulp? No? It was pretty brutal... after all his talk, he still couldn’t hack it! He was just a no-name PUNK like everyone else!

Chase: That’s hardly fair, Romeo put up a good fight in that match...

Sam: Results are results, though. TyranT’s still Champ.

TyranT: Look, ah’ve heard some of ye’ think that ah needed mah daughter’s help ter win that match. Well, lemme tell ye now – tha’s bullshit! Ah don’t need no-one’s help ter be the World Champion, an’ Romeo knows it – that’s why he ain’t gettin another shot! He’s goin’ ter the back of the line like everyone else who lost ter me!

Chase: Why doesn’t he let Faith come out and present her case, then?

Sam: Because she can’t talk, moron.

TyranT: Regardless, Faith ain’t her tonight. She’s prevented from appearing – daddy’s orders. So yer can get it out of yer heads that she’s the next contender!

The crowd boo, wanting to see Faith take the title she rightfully deserves from her father.

TyranT: But rumour has it that we’re gonna find out mah new number one contender here tonight. The man who’s gonna face me at Catalyst. Ah came out here to say it doesn’t matter who they put in front of me. Ah’ve beaten everyone in this company. Ah threw twenty nine men off of Mount Vesuvius! Ah outlasted five other men inside the Elimination Chamber! Ah returned to the ring an’ won the belt in mah first match back! Ah destroyed every contender in front of me! Yer can keep yer’ Ethan Blacks an’ yer Drew Michaels, yer’ Eric Scorpios an’ yer Commissioner Smittens. It doesn’t matter WHO it is, ah can beat them all! So ah want the new number one contender out here now! Ah now yer’ supposed ter come out an’ announce yerself, it said so on the run-sheet, so come out here righ’ now and face me so ah can show yer-

“Mess of Me” by Switchfoot hits the arena and the crowd are on their feet in a mixture of cheers and boos as Skyler Striker emerges from backstage, a microphone in hand. TyranT has a grin on his face, but Striker is confident as ever.

Striker: Geez, you’re really in a talkative mood tonight, Ty. I figured I might as well come out and shut you up – you don’t have to worry about your new contender. He’s standing right in front of you!

Chase: NO WAY! SKYLER STRIKER is the new Number One Contender to the World Title?

Sam: Oh, goody... the druggie against the redneck.

TyranT: Ye? Yer the new contender ter mah World Championship?

Striker: That’s right, Ty. Me. The Commissioner of Full Metal Wrestling has recognized ME as the new #1 contender to your World Championship at Catalyst!

The crowd boo this tremendously, and Skyler laughs, cricking his neck and walking down to the ring.

Striker: People! What do you think? I gather you don’t like their decision?

More boos follow, but Skyler merely laughs again. He slides into the ring and talks to the audience, ignoring TyranT.

Striker: That figures. But let me explain myself. You see, Commissioner Smitten informed me of this decision a few days ago – well before the House of HavOc match was set to take place. So I informed him that I wanted Leon to take my place – after all, if I’m a World Title contender, I can’t be competing for inferior championships like the Abandoned Title, can I? No. I’m ABOVE the Abandoned Title, and always have been. So I let Leon go and struggle against Frost. Their conflict doesn’t mean anything to me. I’m above them both, now. Come on, you know it’s true!

Chase: The crowd really not liking this...

Chants of ‘You suck! You suck!’ build up amongst the crowd. Skyler grins and waits calmly, expecting such a reaction.

Striker: You still don’t like me? Well, it figures. I’ve heard the accusations against me – that the powers that be favour me in their booking of this company. Maybe they just recognize that I’m the new face of FMW. Not like it matters if it’s true or not. At Catalyst, it will be TyranT against Skyler Striker for the World Title!

TyranT: Yer a funny man, Striker. The FMW brass are supportin’ a good-fer-nothin’ druggie. Do ye’ know how many times ah’ve beaten ye in competition? Ah’ve got the edge over ye, Striker. And there’s nothin ye can do about-

Striker: Please. The only man to have taken a belt from your grasp is me. I know where your weaknesses are. I can pull off the same thing again – and I will. You’re-

Celeste: BOYS! Boys, can we keep it to a dull roar, please?

Both TyranT and Striker look to the entrance, where Celeste stands, mic in hand. The crowd are finally given something to cheer about as she smiles.

Celeste: You’ll have to postpone this verbal war for later. You’re both forgetting a very important detail. During this cycle of shows leading to Catalyst, we’re running the FMW Games tournament. When we make it to Catalyst itself, almost every match will feature Ammunition vs. Corruption vs. Distortion, giving each brand an equal chance to win the tournament. And the World Title match will be no different!

TyranT: What are ye’ talkin’ about?

Celeste: Well, TyranT, you’ll be representing Corruption in the World Title match. Skyler Striker, the announced #1 contender, will be representing Distortion. But Ammunition is still missing a superstar to enter into the match!

The crowd cheer loudly again and Celeste continues.

Celeste: Earlier tonight, I requested that Ammunition’s draft pick would be withheld until the end of the broadcast. And now is the perfect time to introduce him to everyone! So, ladies and gentlemen! Allow me to introduce the newest member of the Ammunition division and the second number one contender to the FMW World Championship!

The lights go black, and nothing can be seen.









































The crowd are shouting at the top of their lungs as a countdown appears on the screen at ten. It lowers, slowly, and the crowd chant along with it.

There is more silence...

Chase: WHO IS IT?

Sam: THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!

“I’m your huckleberry...”

Chase: NO FUCKING WAY!

Sam: IT CAN’T BE! IT JUST CAN’T! NO FUCKING WAY!

“ Gimme Shelter” by the Rolling Stones plays over the speakers to a MASSIVE roar from the crowd. Spotlights focus on the entrance ramp, where JOHN “DOC” DERRICK appears to a roof-raising ovation!

Chase: IT’S JOHN DERRICK! JOHN “DOC” DERRICK IS THE OTHER NUMBER ONE CONTENDER TO THE WORLD TITLE!

Sam: TYRANT AGAINST STRIKER AGAINST DERRICK! IT’S EVERY SMARK’S DREAM!

Derrick walks past Celeste with a tip of his hat, and makes his way down the ramp. TyranT is livid with fury and Striker is almost the same, trying to contain his disbelief. Derrick slides into the ring with his former friend and the World Champion. The crowd are still on their feet, chanting “WELCOME BACK! WELCOME BACK!”.

Chase: IT’S A HUGE COMEBACK! JOHN DERRICK STANDS AGAINST THE MAN WHO TOOK HIM OUT OF THIS COMPANY AND THE WORLD CHAMPION!

Sam: Holy SHIT! THIS IS INCREDIBLE!

TyranT stands up to Derrick, holding up his World Title and asking ‘who the hell do you think you are?’. Derrick smiles at him, and then smashes his half-full beer bottle on TyranT’s head, bringing the Champion down to the mat!

Chase: HERE WE GO! DERRICK TAKES TYRANT DOWN!

Sam: LOOK AT THE WESTERN STANDOFF RIGHT HERE!

Skyler Striker faces off against Derrick, and after a moment for the crowd to cheer their voices out, he offers his hand to Derrick, which causes more boos from the audience.

Chase: DON’T DO IT!

Sam: WILL HE TAKE IT?!

Derrick looks at Skyler’s hand, then at Skyler, then back at his hand. Skyler looks at him questioningly, as if to say ‘why aren’t you taking it?’, but after a moment Derrick takes Skyler’s hand and shakes it.

Chase: ARE THEY ON THE SAME PAGE? I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! SKYLER’S SMILING!

Sam: NO! HE STEPS BACK AND HE’S GOING TO SUPERKICK DERRICK!

Chase: DERRICK DUCKS! JOHN DERRICK DUCKS A SKYLER STRIKER SUPERKICK AND HE HOOKS SKYLER, THERE’S WHISKEY BLACKOUT NUMBER SEVEN! JOHN DERRICK TAKE STRIKER OUT AND KICKS HIM OUT OF THE RING! JOHN DERRICK IS THE LAST MAN STANDING HERE TONIGHT!

Sam: I think we’re out of time! And breath!

Chase: We are indeed! Thankyou fur tuning in to Distortion 11.1! MASS Caesar drafted to Corruption, Seth Omega and Abel Steele to Distortion, and JOHN “DOC” DERRICK to Ammunition – who he’ll represent at Catalyst as TyranT, Skyler Striker and himself face off for the ultimate prize in FMW, the Full Metal World Championship! I’m Chase alongside Cactus Sam! GOODNIGHT!

Before the logo fade occurs, we are left with the final scene: John “Doc” Derrick standing in the ring as the crowd around him chant ‘WELCOME BACK! WELCOME BACK! WELCOME BACK!’.

And with that, we're done. Thanks to my staff, you were all great (and by my staff, I mean me) .

Hope you enjoy I'd like to point out that a one-man-show got out before Corruption. Yeah. Just sayin'.

Comment and TT away!

OOC: And a one-man show got out before Distortion and Corruption, but in all seriousness, this was a damn fine show. All of the matches were pretty good, I particularly enjoyed the HoH and Ty/Caesar.

However, my favorite moment was the Lion Facepalm. I was cracking up for some time there. Overall Sky, I think you did a damn good job.

I really didn't see the point of Jaro and Dunnwood teaming up against Chuckles. Would've preferred those two to go at it. Triple threat was predictable. Segments came off pretty well, and I am guessing Apple was brought in as the ditz since Cherrywood is starting to grow backbone. Segments were excellently done.

Small thing about the HoH, Frost doesn't have that English accent anymore. Other than that, hotly contested contest and I am going to read that again.

As it were, great effort from you Skyler. I think everything for the most part came out well. Nice job.


AND WOO DOC RETURNS!

Skyler Striker wrote:

I'd like to point out that a one-man-show got out before Corruption.

OOC: Shut it. It's not like we're running on 100% here.

Ammunition > Distortion when it comes to one-man shows.

Skyler Striker wrote:

I'd like to point out that a one-man-show got out before Corruption. Yeah. Just sayin'

Sure, go ahead and gloat about being out before a show who is missing their head writer and has someone who has head wrote only two shows filling in.

While you're at it why don't you gloat about defending the Abandoned Title against Slegna.

AHHH Skyler Striker, you naive fuck. You're not above any title I chose to give you the oppertunity to chase. I just REHEHEHEHEALLLLY wanted to see John and Bill kick your head in several times before they turned on each other for an epic, sure to last for hours.

There will be a ceasefire somewhere in the middle of it, where they will come to a truce to bury you. Not as in, beat you more, and ruin your reputation. I mean bury you. In the ground. Because you'll be dead.

With me now retired, I need to do something to grab the ratings in the highly brutal and competative "Wrestling Market", and you're the answer to the problem. You may start feeling special........


....


NOW!

Oh I see...that's why I got drafted to Distortion.

Ratings. Makes perfect sense now.

Romeo wrote:

Skyler Striker wrote:

I'd like to point out that a one-man-show got out before Corruption.

OOC: Shut it. It's not like we're running on 100% here.

Ammunition > Distortion when it comes to one-man shows.

stl311 wrote:

Sure, go ahead and gloat about being out before a show who is missing their head writer and has someone who has head wrote only two shows filling in.

While you're at it why don't you gloat about defending the Abandoned Title against Slegna.

OOC: Both of you relax. It was a tongue in cheek comment. It took me over a month to actually write this, the first twenty eight days of which I spent procrastinating. I know I'm at fault for the lateness of this show, and Austin's the only one who's really done the best job he could have.

Seth, I'm not calling you out. If you want me to take a match, send it over and I'll smash it out.

Sorry if I offended anyone. It wasn't meant to be an aggressive comment.

Tromboner Man wrote:

AHHH Skyler Striker, you naive fuck. You're not above any title I chose to give you the oppertunity to chase. I just REHEHEHEHEALLLLY wanted to see John and Bill kick your head in several times before they turned on each other for an epic, sure to last for hours.

There will be a ceasefire somewhere in the middle of it, where they will come to a truce to bury you. Not as in, beat you more, and ruin your reputation. I mean bury you. In the ground. Because you'll be dead.

With me now retired, I need to do something to grab the ratings in the highly brutal and competative "Wrestling Market", and you're the answer to the problem. You may start feeling special........


....


NOW!

IC: I have nothing to say to you, except that if you underestimate me you will pay for it.

I'm good Skyler, I'll get it done and then we can all move on.

OOC: Lionpalm is highlight of the night...Doc showing up is second Is HamDerrick really back? Because if he is it'd be good if he could make himself known you know It's funny because I was just thinking about him the other day. Coincidences...

Dunn: Don't do the Vampire thing. If I remember your last promo here was the one you went vampire like and then you left...bad memories.

Also, Corruption needs to use Lionplam...if only for one night.

I'm not planning a Vampire thing.

I'm working with what was given in the segment and if things work out, a little blast from the past. =)

...and that's how you make a comeback.

We'll be seein' each other, Billy and... whoever else is in that match.

Oh, my poor feelings.

The only thing that hurts is my head from that nasty shot you gave me. But I'll pay it back in time.

Beating you again, for the World Title?

That'll just make my day.

Trust me, if I aim to harm you, feelings or otherwise you'd be aware.


I just don't have anything to say to you.

That's a markedly nice change from the usual, then.

I'll take it.

IC:


Holy shit, it's Doc.

Talk about an individual worth scouting, the man's countering ability is legendary.

Can't wait to see him step back in the ring again.

RCA wrote:

IC:


Holy shit, it's Doc.

Talk about an individual worth scouting, the man's countering ability is legendary.

Can't wait to see him step back in the ring again.

Someone call security theres a ring rat back here.

Cactus Sam wrote:

RCA wrote:

IC:


Holy shit, it's Doc.

Talk about an individual worth scouting, the man's countering ability is legendary.

Can't wait to see him step back in the ring again.

Someone call security theres a ring rat back here.

Amm...Correct me if I'm wrong but weren't you shouting out yer head on commentary when Doc first showed up too?

1: Why was Hannibal talking like he was British? The demon possessed Frost spoke that way yes, but Frost does not. Kinda like Harley showing up in facepaint, it's weird when it gets done wrong. Doesn't flow right. It'd be like is someone wrote Skyler as a non-drug addict despite all promo's lately letting you know he is? See how that works?

2: The Chuckles beat down made no sense at all to me. Oh well just me.

3: Lion Facepalm? A-Maze-Ing.

4: Doc returns? Brilliance!

This show was up and down for me. The Hannibal thing and the pure wrongness that was Chuckles kinda left me meh'd. Sorry, not constructive I know.

John Derrick vs TyranT in the main event for the world title? Talk about your AGE in the CAGE.

Cactus Sam wrote:

RCA wrote:

IC:


Holy shit, it's Doc.

Talk about an individual worth scouting, the man's countering ability is legendary.

Can't wait to see him step back in the ring again.

Someone call security theres a ring rat back here.

You, ignorant ass that should've been aborted.

As Celt so eloquently pointed out, you were screaming like a little girl that just saw Justin Bieber in the mall when you saw Doc return.

I am sorry that I didn't cream up in my underwear like you did because Doc returned...I have more tact and higher standards than that.

As it were, you always seem to have something negative to say to me so I've accepted that you will always be this way until you change.

Easier wrote:

Omega wrote:

Oh I see...that's why I got drafted to Distortion.

Ratings. Makes perfect sense now.

Arrivederci, fat boy. Mediocrity doesn't garner ratings. You were always Corruption's concrete shoes, now the brand can fly.

You're one to talk aren't you X?

Mediocrity is your middle name. You couldn't be consistent if your life depended on it.

OOC: Clarke, no feedback for Ammunition?

Clarke wrote:

1: Why was Hannibal talking like he was British? The demon possessed Frost spoke that way yes, but Frost does not. Kinda like Harley showing up in facepaint, it's weird when it gets done wrong. Doesn't flow right. It'd be like is someone wrote Skyler as a non-drug addict despite all promo's lately letting you know he is? See how that works?

2: The Chuckles beat down made no sense at all to me. Oh well just me.

Two people you can blame for this. Number one is me - that's entirely my bad and a mistake I should not have made. Number two is all on Jaro, who said he had a pretty good reason for it when he gave me the rundown - you might wanna talk to him.