Ultimatum III Trash Talking thread

My computer would pick an awkward fucking time to break, huh? Calling up Packard Bell tomorrow to shout at them about their shitty hardware.

Ooh, I got mentioned in a RANTPAGE! (how do you pronounce that by the way? Do you have to shout it the way Mel Gibson shouts "FREEDOM!" at the end of Braveheart?) by the extreme choke artist of this company.

Like I give a piss. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, hermaphrodites of all ages, when I face The Celt at Ultimatum III, I'm going to...

Not make any promises. The first time, he was simply the better man. I see no shame in admitting that. The second time I got interrupted by a cowardly piece of shit who's too busy swanning off with Chris' silver circle codpiece to man the fuck up and face me.

Speaking of which, Christian, we're not done. Not by a long shot. I'd say watch your back, but unlike you I'm not some greasy worm (granted, I am greasy, but do you know what happens when you wash dreadlocks?) who stands on the ramp to distract people like a burning effigy of a man-shaped turd wearing a cowboy hat. When I crack you with my fist you'll have plenty of time to think about why you bothered sticking your fucking beak nose in my business in the first place.

And to ensure that there are no interruptions, I'd like to make a last-minute proposal. Celt, I know I should be on my hands and knees giving fellatio to the Board of Directors for giving me this Ultraviolent title shot when it was clearly Harley they wanted in the picture (Celt/Eastwood III does not good buyrates make... I guess it's up to Hannibal and Nick and Abel and Christian Pubeface Wankstar to pick up the slack) and really have no place in wanting changes to the match, especially ones that are more likely to benefit yours truly than you, but what the hell right? After all, you beat me twice, what do you have to lose?

...oh. Right.

Anyway. Celt, I'd suggest to you that we make this match... a Lethal Lockdown match.

Hmm a structure that prevents any outside bullshit?

A structure that brings out the most rugged intensity in competitors?

Sure, I'm down, If they'll let us. Just don't go all Distortion on the weapons: I want this to be a man's match, not a kids' playground.

I want this, because I want the best from you Eastwood. This title I hold has a legacy I refuse to tarnish, a legacy of every single man who ever held or competed for it giving 100%. This title has a repeated history of stealing the show so many times, so I'll be damned before I become the champion who didn't live up to that.

This title is what I'm about, because this title is every Corrupt is and should be about.

So let's make it fucking happen, alright?

A Lethal Lockdown match typically holds 10 competitors if I'm not mistaken, so I don't know what sort of fuck-acting you too are at

OOC: Seth and I were talking about this earlier...


Hell in a Cell.

OOC: I believe Eastwood is requesting a roofed cage match that contains weapons, Lethal Lockdown is shorthand for that.

Correct.

Typical Omega...

Flip-flopping and trying to get by on everyone else.

You stated that these Tag Team Titles I've been busting my ass to try and earn... NEVER matter.

No suddenly, you feel a need to "revive" the division and that the belts are important.

Shut your mouth, before someone shuts it for you.

This is our time. Slegna and I... as a TEAM... have earned this.

Nothing will stop a pair that actually care about achieving something and actually care about the tag titles from capturing them.

This is the part where I'd steal your catchphrase... if anything you ever said was catchy enough to be a catch phrase.

Macho Butters wrote:

Typical Omega...

Flip-flopping and trying to get by on everyone else.

You stated that these Tag Team Titles I've been busting my ass to try and earn... NEVER matter.

No suddenly, you feel a need to "revive" the division and that the belts are important.

Shut your mouth, before someone shuts it for you.

This is our time. Slegna and I... as a TEAM... have earned this.

Nothing will stop a pair that actually care about achieving something and actually care about the tag titles from capturing them.

This is the part where I'd steal your catchphrase... if anything you ever said was catchy enough to be a catch phrase.

Get something straight jobber boy, you and Slegna didn't earn shit. All you've done for the past month is get your ass kicked by GSW and suddenly you're qualified to be in a tag title match that you've not even remotely come close to earning a fucking thing in this match.

You're not going to shut my mouth, and you're not going to win the Tag Titles...you and your partner are flakes and will probably get eaten alive by Harlequin.

So go back to your imagination where you believe this is your moment and this is your time, because soon enough you'll find out the hard way that it's not your time, it'll never be your time, and you're going to spend the rest of your days being jobber bitch to GSW. Which is sad considering GSW is about as impressive as a two fingered man trying to return a text message.

You're right, I have had a change of heart about the tag belts...but only because of who is in this match. Damien Inferno? Gray? Butters? Slegna? Bitch please, if we wanted to give the tag belts to two flakes we would have left them on Hannibal and Eastwood.

Macho Butters wrote:

Typical Omega...

Flip-flopping and trying to get by on everyone else.

You stated that these Tag Team Titles I've been busting my ass to try and earn... NEVER matter.

No suddenly, you feel a need to "revive" the division and that the belts are important.

Shut your mouth, before someone shuts it for you.

This is our time. Slegna and I... as a TEAM... have earned this.

Nothing will stop a pair that actually care about achieving something and actually care about the tag titles from capturing them.

This is the part where I'd steal your catchphrase... if anything you ever said was catchy enough to be a catch phrase.

No offense, Bob but earned it by doing...what exactly?

I'm asking out of curiosity, really.

That's fine, try to denounce any chance I have. Keep underestimating the Comeback Kids, you'll be violently surprised if you do sell us short.

So keep living in your world where you're the biggest, baddest thing to ever walk the Earth.

When you come to reality, you're going to find you have a legitimate fight on your hands.

The advantage in this fight?

Slegna and I actually want those belts...

You an't even figure out what you want.

Macho Butters wrote:

That's fine, try to denounce any chance I have. Keep underestimating the Comeback Kids, you'll be violently surprised if you do sell us short.

So keep living in your world where you're the biggest, baddest thing to ever walk the Earth.

When you come to reality, you're going to find you have a legitimate fight on your hands.

The advantage in this fight?

Slegna and I actually want those belts...

You an't even figure out what you want.

Right. Well I am bigger than you. Seth's obviously bigger than both of you combined.

Been to prison for attempted murder so automatically means I'm badder than you.

I'm all for you trying to flex your feathers like the prettiest peacock at the ball but if you recall, I said the tag team titles don't matter all that much to me. Stopping Harlequin and Mass Caesar before they reaffirm themselves as threats to your precious FMW is the biggest goal. If that requires me to win the tag titles, so be it.

I also said, if you recall, not to get in my fucking way. You're starting to get in my fucking way.

Congrats, Bobby. You've officially put yourself on my shitlist.

You know, my issue actually isn't with you.

You know what you want. You want to stop/destroy/hurt Harlequin and Caesar. I respect that, I'm in this for another reason, but you haven't once defected from your goal.

Sethy-poo on the other hand isn't even sure why he's here.

First he says the titles don't matter, then he says they have history, and he wants to rebuild the division.

I would have no problem with him, if he could just make up his damn mind.

I've busted my ass, Slegna's fought back from having bastards try to end his career, we DO deserve this shot, and we plan on making the most of it.

You're welcome to take out whoever you want, I won't be in your way... unless you try to stop us from winning this thing.

This'd go great with some popcorn.

Macho Butters wrote:

You know, my issue actually isn't with you.

You know what you want. You want to stop/destroy/hurt Harlequin and Caesar. I respect that, I'm in this for another reason, but you haven't once defected from your goal.

Sethy-poo on the other hand isn't even sure why he's here.

First he says the titles don't matter, then he says they have history, and he wants to rebuild the division.

I would have no problem with him, if he could just make up his damn mind.

I've busted my ass, Slegna's fought back from having bastards try to end his career, we DO deserve this shot, and we plan on making the most of it.

You're welcome to take out whoever you want, I won't be in your way... unless you try to stop us from winning this thing.

No, I never said The FMW Tag Titles have history...I said the World Tag Titles have history. Maybe you don't remember this during one of your many hiatuses but they merged those belts a while back. HavOc ended The Silver Pistol's run as champs and onward we started with the trend of the bastardization of the FMW Tag Titles.

The FMW Tag Titles are worthless, thanks to pieces of shit like Skyler Striker, Leon Caprice, and the almighty Alex O'Rion. Even the "King" of FMW couldn't make those titles worth a fuck. So this little concept of not knowing what I want is about as out in space as your chances of winning. See my goal is to win the FMW Tag Titles and make them as valuable as the World Tag Titles once were.

Winning a thumbtack kickpad match over a team of jobbers doesn't mean you've earned shit Butters, you and Slegna both have not business being involved in a war that doesn't involve you. See anyone can get lucky and throw someone over the top rope, but now? Now we get to see who the best team really is.

You're not winning shit, and if you even think of getting in my way I'll punt your skull into the front row.

Thing about tag team partners is that if you have an issue with one of them, you've got an issue with both. Furthermore, he's my friend. Unlike the Chris Austin's (who keep pandering for my scant attention even though I told him I washed my hands of him until further notice) and the Sons of Attrition (who are more motivated by what they can do for themselves than for the betterment of their "group"), loyalty is very..special to me. Sometimes, its the only thing you have to get through this business.

If you forgive the existentialist in me, none of us are quite sure why we are here. We only make our best guess and do what we feel is right. None of us set out to be a villain or a hero; saint or a sinner. Shit just happens. It's the luck of the draw, really. Which brings me to my next point.

Should the order of the Gauntlet put you in my path, I'm afraid I'll have to put you down, Bob. You can keep trying to get up and I'll commend the persistence...but it won't stop me from beating your fucking skull in until you stay down.

You know, you make sense...

It's one of your most annoying features when trying to go against you.

I understand the team mentality, and sticking up for your own.

Also, as you said, if the order of the gauntlet puts us across from each other... you better try your best to put us down...

I'd expect nothing less... and you'll get nothing less from the Comeback Kids.

Nicholas Gray wrote:

This'd go great with some popcorn.

Jonathon: Aren't you even remotely interested in what your competition is thinking? These guys are probably the most interesting social and psychological study I've ever seen, and I plan on using this opportunity to learn everything about them so that when the time is right, I know which way they'll jump.

Of course it's interesting, that's why I want the popcorn.

And come on, finding that stuff out doesn't take alot of brainpower. Rampage wants to rip Harlequin up, so he'll go through everyone to get it, while Seth wants to stomp a hole in me, which Page will assist in because partners help partners, and he also wants the titles. Recent interactions with Butters shows that him and Page will start tearing into each other the second they're in front of one another. Slegna's main goal is shattering your partner's leg, while Butters wants the titles foremost, though he also wants to shatter your partner's kneecap because, again, partners are there for partners.

I mean, come on, they've said all of this themselves, there's not alot of deep thinking needed here.

Gray wins. Generic rich bad guy with no depth loses.

OOC: If you weren't right, I'd be hurt.

I'm seeing my name dropped alot in this Tag debate, sure I teamed with Skyler and I am now part of SoA.

But these name drops aren't of good nature, so I will say this.

People better start hesitating to say anything more about me before they realise it's something they can't take back.


Oh and Apostasy, Hi.

Leon Caprice wrote:

I'm seeing my name dropped alot in this Tag debate, sure I teamed with Skyler and I am now part of SoA.

But these name drops aren't of good nature, so I will say this.

People better start hesitating to say anything more about me before they realise it's something they can't take back.


Oh and Apostasy, Hi.

For a second there you almost sounded like a bad ass instead of a skinny little bottom boy.

Omega wrote:

For a second there you almost sounded like a bad ass instead of a skinny little bottom boy.

I'd aim to respond to your trivial response with something to exemplify myself as someone above your response, however we all know how this goes.

I say something witty.
You make a mute-responding joke.
I ask is that the besy you can come up with.
You get mad and dribble on about how you can beat me.
Match comes along and you lose.
You then leave me alone until your ego heals enough to come back for more.
Then the cycle continues...

So to break the cycle. Shut up and move on Seth, you bore me.

Oh and Apostasy, It took me long enough to get my rematch, but it's finally here. And you'd be stupid to think that I'm going to waste all this momentum and fail to regain the Abandoned Title. I said when I won the title the first time it was to carry the history of Distortion, but now there is a different reason, a rejuvenating reason to win.

Because I can.

Ironic that the guy who likes ganking people's identities and personas is talking about boring others.

Fucking grow an actual personality, Faux Striker-Michaels. And continue to try (and fail) winning that Abandoned Title. I'm going to laugh harshly when you come up short like Skyler's dick did in that church pew.

Leon Caprice wrote:

Omega wrote:

For a second there you almost sounded like a bad ass instead of a skinny little bottom boy.

I'd aim to respond to your trivial response with something to exemplify myself as someone above your response, however we all know how this goes.

I say something witty.
You make a mute-responding joke.
I ask is that the besy you can come up with.
You get mad and dribble on about how you can beat me.
Match comes along and you lose.
You then leave me alone until your ego heals enough to come back for more.
Then the cycle continues...

So to break the cycle. Shut up and move on Seth, you bore me.

Yeah, you've beaten me...but if you look at our overall record I've beaten you a couple of times too.

I'm not looking to get in the ring with you, you're nothing to me and the only reason I got in the ring with you again was because Mark needed a partner. So don't inflate your own ego by thinking I want a piece of you, because I don't want anything to do with you period.

I just want you to remember this Leon, it was me who won a singles title here before you...it was me who was the face of Distortion when it went down in flames...and it's me who is going to make those belts you bastardized into something special.

Neh.

I stopped paying attention to Chris' lectures. I can only rip his arguements to tatters so many times before I lose interest.

Same goes for Brysons ramblings, and the legendary RANTPAGES!

Easty wrote:

So you were the main guy on Ignition... look what happened.

You were the supposed 'face' of Distortion... look what happened.

I swear to god, if your chubby fingertips come within inches of the Ultraviolent belt I'm going to euthanise you before you even have a chance to scream "what's happening?".

Yes, I was totally the main guy on Ignition...even though we had the Full Metal Champion and all.

God damn you're stupid.

And need I mind you it was actually Distortion that won the FMW Games?

Easty wrote:

You and me? Not done either.

Yeah, NHB was shocking, right?

Maybe Easty old buddy old pal, you will be as electrifying as I, and I've already set you on the path. But not yet. We've had two matches, and in both of them I came closer to winning than you. So, yeah, I didn't win them. But I made sure that you lost too. That's what you get for biting my shit.