Well, I realize that I like getting feedback (except from Ro, that bastard. His 'greatness meter' is a bit buggy from what I've seen LOL) and if I'd like to continue getting it, then maybe I should feedback as I used to (Yes, I stopped due to lack of desire and lack of getting feedback save from the usual suspect, that being Clarke).
Anyway, in my feedback I tend to give basically what I like and didn't like, I don't criticize the actual writing as spelling and grammar issues happen and I always try to give something positive to take away so it can be continued. Character development and all of that is, while important, not that big of a deal as it comes to whether or not I liked it. But, if there are things I didn't like, then I will say so.
I probably won't hit EVERY promo, so what I'll do is hit the promos of those that regularly feedback (thus, Clarke and Ro always have a slot here) and promos that I rather enjoyed or really made a stride for the character.
Anyway...I'll edit later.
AVO: Decent. I do like the premise of the character, rock star missing the fame and adulation of the fans, pretty unique, but I wanted to see more of the 'why you joined FMW'. Now, as for what I liked, one, it was a nice quick read that got to the point. Conciseness is good. Two, the aforementioned premise, that probably could have used some more elaboration. I also thought Rocky during the montage, and that's a good thing. As for things I didn't care for...well, it was kinda odd to see you just join up with the bartender as your trainer, I would've preferred to see more of a bond developed first. Maybe I missed it, though. Anyway, 'boobie' jokes. It's OK man, you can say tits or whatever. I just don't care much for the word as this age (LOL I sound old.) Overall, nothing spectacular or anything. But it was a safe start that wasn't bad by any stretch, just could have used a bit more fleshing out.
Abel: JESUS CHRIST LONG. I think I understand why people tend to be annoyed at length around these parts. Me personally length isn't that big a deal unless it's one of the first things I notice about the promo. Might've been the longest promo I've read...ever. Anyway, there's nothing to really worry about here as I am one of the long 'promoers' here too. Really good descriptive writing also jumps out at me, as well as the whole 'thoughts in head' deal...gives a good inside look at Abel as well as Tim. The actual dialogue of the promo was solid, but what happened in the promo has me relatively intrigued. CRYPT, whatever it is...I'll keep my eye out. What really got me here was the part about you quitting FMW until the end. I was really into the promo from then on, and the twist with Emma's death was quite a surprise. Very good outing here, if anything could hurt it, it'd possibly be length (as it took a LONG way to get to the part I personally enjoyed most) and maybe dialogue, which, while good, could have been a tiny bit better. Well done, this is likely up there with the GCG-winning effort.
Skyler: So, uh...things aren't peachy in the world of Skyler. And Dammit I loved it. Skyler, you've always been one of the tops since I've been around, but I'm sure you've heard some of the criticisms about Skyler never being tested...well you shot that to hell and did so wonderfully. I was fully into this one, primarily because there was conflict, there was an unexpected side of Skyler and it was written pretty effin well, I loved the instability of Sky's mindset, shows that Drew is affecting you. As I look through this promo, a part of me thinks that you busted this out as a response/shock value, so that people won't say that Skyler doesn't have issues of his own and all of that. If this is the case (and I give you the benefit of the doubt) then it somewhat dampens my enjoyment of the promo. But not to the point where it'll hurt you in the long run. Smitten was as evil as ever and I loved how Romeo came off pretty damn confident and rightfully so. I don't know or expect more conflicts like these save for the blue moon 'roid-rage', but it was a fresh take on Skyler...and that gets a 'great job' from me. Good dialogue, OUTSTANDING character development...a little iffy on match relevance though. The parts with Romeo were nice, but I wasn't really hooked as the conflicts really overshadowed the match with Ro in my eyes, and that's not a bad thing. One of your better go-arounds in my eyes.
Syanide: Such intensity. That was the main and constant thought I had while reading this. Dark yes, but the intensity of it really stood you, particularly during your conversation with the Detective. Granted, this may have ran a little short to some (not to me), I got the message and it was one hell of a reintroduction to the monster known as Syanide. Unfortunately, I think that was a downside to it...I was left wanting to know more about how Sy-Sy operates...I didn't like just the preview. Still, I think the descriptions were just decent, but only because I've become more used to elaborate scene-setting, you just got to the point and in some way, that's a damn good thing. Either way, I wasn't floored or anything, but consistently, I enjoyed what I was reading and it was a nice return on your part. Welcome back, sir.
Romeo: Wow. OK, I'm not saying wow because the promo was 'OMG EPIC', but I'm saying wow because what you did, really made for a very good promo. Loved the idea behind it, and feel free to correct me, but the message I got from it is that 'Romeo is the lone bright spot in FMW and whoever that fan was'. The spoilers were nicely written, nothing truly groundbreaking yet VERY intriguing in terms of info. The ending with T.O. was pretty solid, but I rather enjoyed the messages to the smark, I just really liked them for some reason. I felt as if this really could have used some match relevance, but as you probably know that is my personal taste. Anyway, you and Skyler have one hell of a match here, neither one of you disappointed and in fact, I think you guys may have upped the ante in terms of creativity. And yes, when I finished the promo, all I thought was heel Romeo is awesome. The big thing I take from this promo is that I find myself REALLY STOKED as to where Romeo goes next, and that is a very good thing. I'm looking for something bad to say save for lack of match relevance for my tastes, but it's hard for me to fault what was I felt a somewhat risky idea and turn it into another strong promo. Nice job.
Smitten: GREAT way to go out man, you tried something new and while I'll admit I didn't enjoy it as much as Lawyer/Commish Smitten, it was still one hell of a go which showed the kind of skill you possess. I would tell you what I liked and disliked but given that you won't be around for a year (
) I don't know how you'll use it. Either way, I enjoyed the creativity and the Abel Steele appearance I felt was handled very well. Even though it was your promo, I don't feel he was hurt at all, especially given the whole taking place in the future deal. I think maybe the only thing I didn't like about it was that it was the usual Smitten promo, as I've become a mark for that guy. Not to take anything away from what was a exceptionally-written go, it just didn't hit me as well as your promos usually do. Still, it was very good and it shows the void that you're leaving with your temporary absence. Anyway, I'll fill this in more when I reread, but that's all I got now. I miss you already though, no homo.
CXC: Stick around, man. Seriously you may be one of the more underrated people here, I feel a lot of RAMPAGE's style as I read your writing. Great descriptions, Great story. The whole angry black man deal may be somewhat overdone, but I think you have a twist on it and I run a similar gimmick in LPW so I'm not one to complain. Anyway, this, above all, was one pretty damn good read. The only thing that bothered me was little match relevance. That's all, and match relevance is merely something
I place pretty high on the list and I am just one guy so on biggie. Still, I was pleasantly surprised with this. This feedback may be a little short, but this is all I have to say on it. Oh, you had some coding errors too. Wasn't mind-blowing, but I was enthralled in it. Good stuff.
Sean: So, Jay-Z, ahem...Sean. You're a vampire too? Was Twilight this good? Either way, the promo started off well with the story about Dracula, but as it went into the conversation with Donovan and Lisa, I found my interest slightly dropping, it was an average deal. What I mostly enjoyed was the red text and the actual address towards Alistair. That was pretty solid. The promo itself was OK. I think Donovan and Lisa could use some more fleshing out, as well as more exposure to Vamp SC. Decent start, but it is a new gimmick for you from what I know, so you're just getting your feet wet. Decent first effort.
Damien: Not bad, not bad at all. In fact, pretty good. I dig the constant improvement that you and Gabe have made. Anyway, as for this...Ripper's cameo seemed to capture his character as I thought it would, and when using another's character, I always see it as a plus to get the character right. Anyway, really interesting stuff and I enjoyed reading the beginning with Damien visiting his parents. Anyway, from there, I got a little lost (maybe I should start paying more in-depth attention) but what I read, wasn't boring by any stretch so good stuff there. Anyway, this seemed to really lack on match relevance and I have to say, for me it's kind of a big deal. May not be to me, but I like when the opponent addresses why he should be voted for/win. Seemed kind of rushed. But in terms of your story and character development, well done. Another in a long line of solid promos from the DM clan, but I'm waiting for you guys to go ahead and break through that barrier that you guys have been hovering around since you started.
Subject: RCA'S 10.1 FEEDBACK 
Fri Jan 15, 2010 12:04 pm
