Alchemy 6.3 - RESULTS

Seated backstage on a steel crate Andrew ‘Mercutio’ O’Rion flags down his two stable mates Harlequin and Syanide, waving them over to his location.

Mercutio: You wanted to talk?

Harlequin: When I said “In Private” I meant with no one else around.

Mercutio: There is no one else around, take a look.

Syanide: Don’t be so daft, he meant somewhere secluded.

Mercutio: Whatever, what did you want Harley.

Harlequin: Have either of you fine gentlemen noticed something very odd going on around Alchemy as of late?

Syanide: That fucking Puerto Rican is in charge?

Harlequin: Precisely. Original Sin is holding all the cards. They somehow have still managed to maintain power on Alchemy. Everywhere else is a battleground. Alchemy rests firmly in their hands. And I don’t like that one bit.

Syanide: What are you suggesting?

Mercutio: Ruinous Damage.

Harlequin: Nail on the head Mercutio. It’s time HavOc showed everyone exactly what we are capable of, if you know what I mean.

Syanide: Just let them stand in our way, that’s all I ask.

Harlequin: That’s the spirit Dan-Dan. If Heaven rides against us then Gods be damned and if mortals stand before us, strike them down with sleight of hand. Show no remorse.

Mercutio: Interesting little fact. HavOc has three matches tonight. HavOc is also going to win all three matches tonight. Seems to me like we should be sending a message. A nice strong message.

Harlequin: Interesting indeed Mercutio. There’s something else. Something better. Far better. Diabolical hasn’t been seen since that fucking pirate carted him away in the ambulance. N.M.E is leaderless. Not only that but that prick Hostyle and Neutron Star have been at each other’s throats lately.

Syanide: Seems like a perfect time to step in and cause some chaos.

Mercutio: We’re HavOc for a reason baldy.

Syanide: Unpredictably Vicious and Cunningly Disturbing.

Harlequin: My point exactly.

[laugh][/laugh]

Mercutio: Harley shut up, here comes Neutron.

Former TnT Champion Neutron Star meanders his way down the corridor in which HavOc are currently residing. Pausing momentarily in front of the three men who are neither ally nor enemy.

Mercutio: What up Star?

Mercutio’s brash attempts at conversation draw only a blank stare from Neutron Star.

Harlequin: What he means to say is, how goes the slaughter?

Harlequin’s attempts illicit no response yet again from Star.

Syanide: I hate you both, so much. Neutron, these two idiots want to know what your plan is, how you plan on getting your belt back.

Neutron Star: I do not have time to speak to the likes of you, I have other matters with require my attention.

With little facial expression and a cold tone to his voice Neutron Star resumes his pace, leaving HavOc standing alone in the corridor.

Mercutio: I AM A ROBOT, I HAVE NO EMOTION.

Syanide: Shut up you fuck, we’re going to have to be prepared to crush his skull in.

Mercutio: DOES NOT COMPUTE.

Harlequin: Keep it shut O’Rion or your skull will join his. Tonight is the first night gentlemen. Tonight is the night that HavOc takes hold. People will not forget this night, not for a very long time. HavOc shall be wrought. Let’s get this show on the road…

[laugh][/laugh]



Stone: Welcome everyone to Alchemy, the brand where we say a big Fuck you to your rest holds and lack of action and wrestling! This is what wrestling is supposed to be! Tonight Alchemy will once again bring you an action packed show. I am Stone and sitting next to me, as always, is my partner, Boss Foxx!

Foxx: Can’t wait for tonight, Stone! We will finally see HAVOC up close and personal! All three members will be in action tonight! First, we will see Harlequin versus Queen Guiomar, and Mercutio versus MASS Caesar, with a spot in Mt Vesuvius on the line!

Stone: Queen Guiomar? Is that the best you could come up with? And what about that whack job Caesar?

Foxx: All great tyrants are criminally insane! And Guiomar will be finding that out soon!

Stone: (sighing) Also, Havoc member Syanide will be in the Main Event tonight, taking on Alex O’Rion. Alex has been on a physical and emotional roller coaster the last few weeks and could be in for another grueling contest tonight against the vicious Syanide!

Foxx: Not to mention that Mercutio could be anywhere around the ring, waiting to hurt his brother!

Stone: Also in action tonight, we will see the “True Artist” Hostyle facing off against Hannibal Frost in a non title match. And in a match that Hostyle will more than likely be very interested in, Dalby Sound will be squaring off against Nick Rijkaard, the winner getting a shot at the C4 Division title!

Foxx: That will be an interesting contest, but honestly it doesn’t matter! Hostyle would beat any of these guys with his hand tied behind his back!

Stone: Would you care to mention that to Hostyle? I am sure he would appreciate that suggestion!

Foxx: Shut up and let’s get on with it, Stone! Always making stuff up to get me in trouble! Here comes the tits…I mean Cherry to start us off!

Cherry: Our First match of the evening is scheduled for one fall and is for a spot in the Mt Vesuvius Elimination match!

[laugh][/laugh]

Harlequin’s trademark cackle breaks the silence of the crowd before Voodoo by Godsmack blares on the PA. Harlequin walks out onto the stage, flanked by Mercutio and Syanide. All three men walk to the ring slowly, ignoring the taunts and boos from the crowd.

Cherry: Coming to the ring first. He hails from Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada! He weighs in tonight at 200 pounds. He is accompanied to the ring by Mercutio and Syanide and represents HAVOC! He is the “Harbinger”! This is HARLEQUIN!!!

As the referee tries to ask Mercutio and Syanide to go to the back, Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony blares out of the PA. Guiomar walks through the curtain with Servente by his side. He poses at the top of the stage as he is showered with cheers from the crowd. Both men walk cautiously into the ring, not knowing what Mercutio and Syanide are going to do.

Cherry: His opponent this evening hails from Garanhão, Portugal. He weighs in tonight at 254 pounds. He is the True King of Alchemy! This is KING GUIOMAR!

Foxx: I wonder how much he paid her to say that bit? Anyone with a brain knows that the true king is Caesar! He is the one with legitimate royal blood from a noble bloodline! So what if Guiomar’s ancestor’s slaughtered a bunch of pigmies and created a kingdom!

Stone: At least he has a castle, unlike Caesar, who lives in Mike Tyson’s old house! Guiomar will show that HE is the true king soon! Anyway, we are just about to…

As Guiomar enters the ring, Mercutio charges at Guiomar. Guiomar dodges and clotheslines Mercutio out of the ring. Harlequin takes advantage as he hits Guiomar with a throat chop. He then lifts Guiomar and body slams him, as the ref signals for the bell to ring.

Stone: And we are underway as Harlequin’s goons made their presence felt before the bell rings.

Foxx: He just took advantage of Guiomar turning his back on him. He can’t control what Mercutio does. As much as you think, Harlequin is a fair man, not a tyrant!

Stone: And Harlequin stomps away at Guiomar. He lifts him up and delivers a jab to the face. Harlequin with an Irish Whip on Guiomar. Guiomar dodges a clothesline, he bounces off the ropes and lands a spear. He keeps holding him and starts peppering Harlequin with punches to the head. Harlequin moves to the ropes to break the hold. Guiomar gets up and nails a snap suplex. He gets Harlequin up again and is going for another suplex.

As Guiomar sets up to Suplex Harlequin, Syanide jumps on the apron. Guiomar lets Harlequin go and hits an elbow smash on Syanide, knocking him to the floor. Harlequin gets up and chop blocks the right knee of Guiomar, who is writhing in pain.

Stone: And HAVOC once again gets involved!

Foxx: They haven’t laid a finger on him! If anything, Guiomar has an itchy trigger finger. Probably seeing shadows of MASS Caesar around.

Stone: And Harlequin is attacking the knee of Guiomar with multiple elbows to the knee. He grabs Guiomar’s legs and locks in a reverse Texas Cloverleaf, putting all the pressure on Guiomar’s right knee.

Foxx: Harlequin’s showing his technical prowess, as he is out wrestling the wrestler. He lets go of the hold and stomps on the knee of Guiomar. He lifts Guiomar up and is setting him up for a power bomb!

Stone: Harlequin lifts him up. Hurricanrana by Guiomar! Harlequin gets up and Guiomar hits him with a back cracker! Harlequin writhes in pain as Guiomar lifts him up and nails a backbreaker on Harlequin. The cover! 1! 2! Kick out at two!

Foxx: Guiomar got lucky!

Stone: Guiomar lifts Harlequin and Irish Whips him to the ropes. Back body drop attempt!

Foxx: Sunset Flip by Harlequin!

Stone: And Guiomar reverse the sunset flip by rolling out! He locks on the Sharpshooter! He’s got Harlequin right in the middle of the ring! There is no escape!

Mercutio goes on the ring apron and distracts the ref, who goes over to prevent him from going into the ring! Syanide comes into the ring and tries to land a boot to the faces of Guiomar but he grabs it and spins the leg. Syanide gets hit with a spin kick by Servente.

Stone: What a kick by Servente!

Foxx: But the ref sees him in the ring and goes over to him!

As the ref is dealing with Servente, Syanide steps over to Guiomar and nails him with a lariat that turns Guiomar inside out! Servente tries to reach out to Guiomar, but the ref is still holding him back with his back turned. Syanide nails a backbreaker on Guiomar and holds it in place, as Mercutio comes off the top rope with a knee drop. Both men leave the ring as the referee turns back around.

Stone: We need another ref out here! This is blatant cheating!

Foxx: This is brilliant strategy! And the ref hasn’t caught them! No call, no foul!

Stone: The NBA would love you as a ref! Anyway, Harlequin is walking slowly toward Guiomar, who is struggling to get up! Guiomar is staggering up! Harlequin locks in the full nelson!

Foxx: Pale Rider time!

Before Harlequin can hit the Pale Rider, Guiomar breaks free. He nails Harlequin with a clothesline backbreaker. He signals for the finish.

Stone: Guiomar is going to finish this! He has Harlequin up. He is going for the Imperial Decree!

Harlequin throws elbows to the side of Guiomar’s head and breaks free. He nails another chop block on Guiomar. He places Guiomar in a Full Nelson and nails the Pale Rider!

Foxx: PALE RIDER!

Stone: He rolls Guiomar on his back and covers him. 1! 2! 3! It’s over!

Cherry: Your Winner of the match and gaining a spot for Mt. Vesuvius. HARLEQUIN!!!

Harlequin (8.05 aps + 1.1 avs = 9.15 total)
King Guiomar (7.89 aps + 0.6 avs = 8.49 total)

Stone: And Harlequin has given HAVOC their first win of the night, though under dubious circumstances from all the cheating by HAVOC!

Foxx: Circumstances my ass! Guiomar should have paid more attention to Harlequin instead of punching anything that stood on the apron to distract the ref. In my mind, HAVOC proved many doubters wrong by showing there cohesion. We knew that Harlequin and Mercutio have no problem working together, but Syanide was the X Factor and they got it done beautifully. Prince Guiomar will now have to watch as Caesar moves on later if he gets past Mercutio!

Stone: Stop flip-flopping! I need a vacation from you!

Foxx: You know you love being here with me!

The scene opens up inside of the interim GM’s office, where Hostyle is shown reclined back on a leather office chair, while clinging on to his C-4 Championship, and his feet placed up on top of the desk. He appears to be asleep, but promptly wakes up once he senses the cameraman’s presence, and instantly becomes irritable.

Hostyle: Jesus Fuck You Christ, can’t the “New Face of Alchemy” catch a little shuteye before his Hostyle Highlighting of Hannibal Frost?

Hostyle repositions himself on the chair before readdressing the camera.

Hostyle: Well, since you’re here, I might as well make good use of this opportunity. First and foremost, I’d like to take this time to thank VanGuard for graciously bowing out so that I may claim my rightful spot as the TNT Champion!

Now Vanguard, there’s no need to worry about feeling lonely while being laid up in the hospital, because I have some good news for you! As tonight, your BFF will be joining you - complete with a matching injury!

Hostyle momentarily smiles cheesily, before lifting his feet back up on top of the desk, and reclining back on the chair once more.

Hostyle: This could’ve all been avoided if you had submitted your self-innovated finishers in time, Hanny. Oh well, that won't stop me from creating yet another masterpiece in that ring!

Pwn you later, cock-jockey! (to the cameraman) Time for you to vamoose, vagi-bond.

The shot fades out to Hostyle getting up to prepare for his match...


The lights in the arena all go down low, the darkness swept through by a sky blue light as Seether’s “Fake It” begins to play. Hannibal Frost emerges from the back, ready for action, and makes his way down to the ring.

Cherry: The following match is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Memphis, Tennessee, weighing two hundred and thirty-four pounds, he is HANNIBAAALLL… FROST!!!

Stone: Hannibal Frost coming down to the ring tonight and it kinda looks like he has a chip on his shoulder.

Foxx: Hah, it only makes him look like a fool.

Stone: He’s looking angry and I think his role in the match tonight isn’t one of mere formalities, but I think he just wants to beat the shit out of Hostyle tonight to avenge what Jaro did to VanGuard.

Foxx: If so, he’s beating up the wrong guy, isn’t he?

Stone: Maybe, maybe not.

”Renegade” by Jay-Z and Eminem take over the PA system as the lights pulse to the backbeat of the song. The True Artist Hostyle emerges from the back and makes his way down to the ring as the pulsing lights turn red.

Cherry: And his opponent, from the Bronx, New York, weighing two hundred and thirty-five pounds, he is the True Artist… HOOOOOOSTYLEEE!!!

Stone: And here comes Hostyle, the newly-awarded C4 champion! His actions last week were nothing short of unbelievable; the tension between him and his partner Neutron Star is rising to unmanageable levels!

Foxx: I’d really love to see how that plays out.

Stone: I think Neutron Star has the right idea about things, though.

Foxx: Always siding with the sissies, Stone.

Stone: What? You like Neutron Star.

Foxx: He is still a glorified nerd at best, Stone.

Stone: Whatever. I know he’s in your fave fives, admit it.

Foxx: I’m a Cingular subscriber!

Stone: …Not what I meant.

The bell rings and Hostyle and Frost circle each other. Frost goes to do a lock-up, but is only met by a slap on the face by Hostyle, who then tries to quickly get Frost into a back body neck breaker drop but he powers out of the move. Hostyle goes for the Free Flowin’ Hostility but Frost manages to get out of that too. Hostyle then tries to execute a front flip dropkick but Frost catches him in mid-move and gives him a spine buster for his efforts!

Stone: And first strike points go to Hannibal Frost after a wonderful display of agility and technical presence of mind. He outsmarted Hostyle there.

Foxx: But this is only the beginning, Stone.

Stone: Maybe, but what happens after the bell rings may set the pace for the whole match.

Foxx: What kind of wrestling commentator are you? You know such a thing barely happens outside of a squash.

Stone: Anything can still happen, Foxx.

Foxx: You only say this because you hate Hostyle.

Stone: Dislike, Foxx, dislike. Hate is too strong a word. Hannibal Frost plants Hostyle down with a fisherman suplex and he carries the leg over to a single-leg Boston crab… but no, Hostyle manages to get out of that one!

Foxx: That’s your technical presence of mind right there.

Stone: And Hostyle unceremoniously delivers a series of boots to Frost’s blue skull!

Foxx: Yeah, that stupid hair of his needs a color change… from blue to blood red!

Stone: Clever, Foxx. Hostyle now sends Frost crashing into a turnbuckle and look what comes next, there’s the Fatal Flurry! That doesn’t feel good at all!

Foxx: Nothing in our profession will feel good, except victory, Stone!

Stone: Thank you for that charming bit of insight, Foxx. Hostyle now just beating down on Frost and he sends him crashing down to the mat there with a fisherman driver!

Foxx: You know, Stone, Hostyle is amazing. Most guys would just stop their self-innovation at one or two big moves, usually use them as their finishers, but Hostyle here innovates just about every move from the mundane to the hot. Clearly, this man knows how to marry style with damage. Like a priest!

Stone: You had me going until the “priest” part, Foxx.

Foxx: Admit it, you adore my way with words.

Stone: Sure, when you’re not sucking the Original Sin’s cock.

Foxx: I am offended, Stone.

Stone: Whatever. Hostyle lifts Hannibal Frost up on to a backbreaker rack and plants him down on the mat with an inverted Samoan drop! And now he puts in a figure four on Frost, which is kinda odd, seeing as his modus operandi is to bust his opponent’s head open.

Foxx: An artist has his own vision to fulfill, Stone, let the man be.

Stone: I was just saying, Foxx. Hostyle pushing down on Frost’s legs here, does he want to cripple him perchance?

Foxx: Maybe. Hannibal Frost walking around wouldn’t make much difference in the world, if you ask me.

Stone: Naturally, since you’re such a douche bag. Frost tries to crawl over to a nearby bottom rope and it’s gonna be a slow drive because Hostyle’s stepping on his brakes!

Foxx: You messed up a good car metaphor.

Stone: Shut up. Hannibal Frost is getting there, he’s almost there, he can feel the texture of the rope on his fingers, will he be able to grab it- no, Hostyle pulls back and it’s gonna be another drive to first down!

Foxx: Either he reverses this move or taps out – Hostyle is smart enough to not let Frost get the better of him and give him a rope break.

Stone: That’s all in a wrestler’s common sense now, but if Frost can keep up his strength enough, he’s drawing closer again, but it seems like every second his feet are in the lock, the more pressure there is on his foot bones…

Foxx: If he knows what’s best, he’ll tap out!

Stone: But he’s almost there! He can feel it! It’s so close yet so far! Hostyle prepares to pull back but he’s got it! Frost has got it and the referee is making his count! One, two, three, four, Hostyle releases the leg lock and look at that, Frost is clutching his foot in what must be unbearable pain!

Foxx: Unbearable pain is right. I told you he should’ve tapped out.

Stone: And the ref is barring Hostyle from getting any more out of Hannibal Frost at the moment, and the Iceman tries to recuperate but watch out, there’s a blind-side from Hostyle, but Frost ducks and nails Hostyle with a hard clothesline across his neck!

Foxx: He’s not gonna hold up much longer with those damaged feet!

Stone: But he’s giving it all he’s got, he’s on the second rope and I think he’s gonna go for the Ice Pick!

Foxx: No, he misses by a mile!

Stone: No, Hostyle just ducked in the nick of time, and the True Artist capitalizes on his good fortune by laying down the law further on the foot he had been damaging so far in this matchup.

Foxx: Good fortune? You mean athletic prowess!

Stone: Frost is limping around and you can manage to compare them by saying that Hostyle is a better athlete?

Foxx: Fuck yeah!

Stone: Hostyle now trying to get back into the leg lock but you can see right here that Hannibal Frost is putting up some remarkable resistance and I don’t really blame him. And he manages to push off Hostyle with his feet and while that may have been good for him, I don’t think it was a foot massage either!

Foxx: Ever heard of the phrase “delaying the inevitable”? That is what Frost is doing right here, and really, I pity him.

Stone: Shut up, Foxx, you are incapable of feeling pity.

Foxx: Words hurt, Stone. Words hurt.

Stone: And Hannibal Frost is going out on a plain rampage here, but at what cost to his health? He’s dealing blow after blow to Hostyle but look at that, he can barely stand up here.

Foxx: Eventually he’s gonna wear out due to that foot and sadly I see that happening sooner rather than later.

Stone: You never know, Foxx, a wrestler’s heart may take him all the way despite whatever injury he is in.

Foxx: Oh, stop waxing philosophical on me, Stone, physiology trumps heart every day.

Stone: Spoken like a true heel. Frost nails a huge sit out power bomb on Hostyle and he makes the pin! One, tw – no, Hostyle got a shoulder up!

Foxx: Frost is way more damaged than Hostyle is, he has to do a little more to get into two and three-fourths territory.

Stone: Knife-edge chops to the chest of Hostyle and Frost whips him and nails a side slam as he comes back! Frost is building momentum here!

Foxx: Once again, I’m watching that foot. Any moment now, it’s gonna give way.

Stone: And consider the damage he’s dealing to Hostyle while it’s not giving way yet.

Foxx: Any moment now, daddy needs some new tights…

Stone: Belly to belly suplex from Frost, sending Hostyle crashing down, he’s just not letting up, but he can already feel the pain buckling him down!

Foxx: It’s beginning! Look closely!

Stone: But Frost chooses to fight while he can still stand! Frost gets Hostyle hooked up and lifts him up in a suplex… is he, is he stalling him? How daring!

Foxx: I’m betting this will be a bad idea because you have to stand up properly to properly stall your opponent, and he can’t do the first part very well, now can he?

And true enough, Hannibal Frost’s foot gives out on him and Hostyle manages to escape the hold!

Foxx: Told ya!

Stone: And Hostyle breathes a sigh of relief, and it looks like he’s scheming on what to do next!

Foxx: He’s thinking up something new, I can feel it! Watch this, you idiots – this is an artist at work!

Stone: Hostyle steps over the fallen body of Hannibal Frost and he takes those legs! What, is he gonna do a Boston crab? How unoriginal!

Foxx: Shut up, Stone, you know Hostyle won’t let you get away with that, he’s gonna add in his own twist later!

Stone: Okay, sure enough, he takes that damaged foot of Hannibal Frost and he’s twisting it in an ankle lock! This has got to be nothing short of unbearable pain! How will Frost get out of this one?

Foxx: Nay, sir, the question is how will Frost WALK after this match?

Stone: That, too, and this uncompromising position leaves Frost with very little mobility to either try and escape or try and reach the bottom rope!

Foxx: This is it, it’s over!

Stone: Not over until the ice Goth sings!

Foxx: Well, he’s about to break a note!

Stone: Will he tap? Will Frost tap?

Foxx: It’s gotta be unbearable, he’s gotta let it go!

Stone: And Hannibal Frost taps out to a spur-of-the-moment innovation by Hostyle! It’s over!

Cherry: And here is your winner… HOOOOSTYLE!!!

Hostyle (7.88 aps + 1.0 avs = 8.88 total)
Hannibal Frost (7.78 + 0.7 avs = 8.48 total)

The shot goes back to the center of the ring, where Hostyle hasn’t let go of the Boston crab ankle lock at all.

Stone: What the…? What is Hostyle still doing? You’ve won the match, Hostyle, let him go!

Foxx: He’ll let go when he wants to let go, Stone!

Stone: Oh, God, this is inhumane! What did Frost do to deserve this indignity?

Foxx: The boy was insolent, Stone. He deserves this punishment.

Stone: …Wait, is he trying to give Frost the same fate Jaro gave VanGuard?

Foxx: Took you that long to figure it out?

Stone: What? This is inhumane! Frost shouldn’t be suffering like this!

Just then, “Heaven is an Orgasm” by Lords of Acid plays, Neutron Star’s theme, and Star emerges from the back with mic in hand. Hostyle notices this and finally lets Hannibal Frost go.

Stone: Oh, thank God!

Foxx: Save your breath, Stone, I don’t think Star came out here because he was crying over Frost’s foot.

Neutron: Stop what you're doing, Hostyle. He is nothing. Your quarrel lies with me! And after much thought, I have deliberated that I do not want to face you at Supremacy.

The crowd boos.

Neutron: However, the necessary must be executed… I want to hold the TNT Championship again, Hostyle, and I am prepared to face great lengths to have that honor once more, even if it means facing you at Supremacy after all!

Hostyle finally has a mic.

Hostyle: You know something, Neut… you’re right.

Neutron: Indeed I’m right!

Hostyle: You’re right. I’ve been greedy. I’ve been selfish. I’ve been putting this TNT Championship over our friendship, and for that, I’m sorry. But first, Neut, I gotta ask you – how bad do you want this TNT Championship?

Neutron: Is this some kind of joke? You know full well what that championship means.

Hostyle: Very well then, who am I to stand between a man and his title, security, can we have the TNT Championship out here, please?

There is a slight beat as a group of security men take the TNT Championship out from the back in a glass case.

Stone: I don’t believe this. He’s just handing it over!

Foxx: There’s gotta be some sort of catch.

Stone: Yeah, this doesn’t feel right at all…

Hostyle: Okay, Neut, here’s the TNT Championship. You can have it. From one N.M.E… to another.

Neutron: I appreciate your generosity, Hostyle. I had estimated that it would take a lot more coaxing to persuade y-

As Star approaches the case, suddenly the case EXPLODES, destroying the title!

Stone: HOLY SHIT!

Foxx: The title exploded!

Neutron: WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS, HOSTYLE?

Hostyle: HAHA! You should’ve seen the look on your face, Neut! Looked like all your dreams blew up in your face… oh, it did! HAHAHA!

Neutron: EXPLAIN YOURSELF, HUMAN!

Hostyle: The TNT Championship is a worthless title to me, Neut. I mean, what use do I have of it when I have the top title in all of Alchemy – the C4 championship? The TNT is worthless, Star, so I blew it up – with TNT, no less! HA!

Hostyle suddenly becomes very serious, repeating himself.

Hostyle: The TNT Championship is worthless to me, just like you are.

Foxx: Damn, that’s funny! Hostyle’s a real comedian!

Stone: Shut up, Foxx, what if I blew up your championship… while it was still around your waist?

Foxx: Too bad I’m an announcer now.

Neutron, in a fury, takes the ruined faceplate of the TNT championship and storms the ring, hitting Hostyle square in the face with the plate and knocks him out. The crowd pops.

Neutron: The top title in Alchemy, huh? Well, you can bet all your HPs that I am engaging you at Supremacy… for your dearly beloved C-4 Championship!

Neutron throws away the burned TNT faceplate and starts walking towards the back to a huge pop.

Stone: What an interesting development! No more TNT championship, Star vs. Hostyle for the C-4 title at Supremacy… what else can happen?

Foxx: If Jaro decides to fire you, then my night shall be complete!

Stone: Fucker.

TO: Ladies and Gentlemen, my guest at this time, the human choke machine, Dalby Sound!

Sound: A barrel of laughs as always douchebag…

TO: Watch your tone with me pal, you’ve got a match with Nick Rijkaard tonight, for a chance to fail at winning the C-4 title yet again. What’s your strategy?

Sound: Rijkaard’s head is not in the right place. He has too much on his mind as of late, and that will be his downfall. I don’t expect much of a struggle in this match whatsoever. As for your dispersions about my ability to win the C-4 title, I wouldn’t expect a nobody such as yourself to know what a true champion is. I will introduce my newest move, Pure Gold, tonight. Then, at Supremacy… I will use it again, to win the C-4 title. And on the same night, I will take Hostyle’s title, and his pride, as he’s forced to induct me as an HP Honor Rollee…

TO: So what is this Pure Gold move?

Sound: Well, TO, either you can wait to see it in the ring tonight, like everyone else, or I can debut it right here, on you. Your call.

TO: Eff!

The Great TO turns and runs down the hall, while Dalby laughs. He rounds the corner and sees a visibly enraged Hostyle enter the backstage area having a profanity tantrum. As he makes his way to the corridor where the locker rooms are located, T.O. attempts to catch up to Hostyle.

T.O.: Hostyle, Hostyle, quick question.

Hostyle stops in tracks and quickly turns to T.O., confronting the backstage announcer with a face of ferocity.

Hostyle: What the fuck do plan on wasting my time on now, T.O.?

T.O.: (nervously) W-well, H-Hostyle. W-with what we just w-witnessed earlier, I was j-just w-wondering if the Supremacy m-match was still o-on or not?

Hostyle takes a brief moment to take some deep calming breaths, before responding.

Hostyle: I’ve beaten Frost…I’ve beaten Sound…and I’ve beaten Rijkaard. Of course, the match is still on! And as far as Neutron is concerned…

Hostyle snatches the mic from T.O., and pushes T.O. down to the ground.

Hostyle: He has just made himself a VERY powerful N.M.E.!!!

 
 
The lights in the arena flash once and then shut off as if a candle had been snuffed out. In the darkness there is only silence, fear and worry. All these vanish as a familiar voice echoes through the speakers.

Voice: Welcome back to me. Alchemy, I’ve missed you. Even Murray has missed you, but he’ll never tell you that. I know I’ve been away for a long time, but I know you haven’t forgotten me.

As the first portion of his speech finishes the lights come back on revealing none other than FMW’s very own Guybrush Threepwood standing in the center of the ring.

Guybrush: I know, I’ve missed you too, but I’m back. I’m back, better than ever and here for a long time to come. I’d never leave you again Alchemy. It sure has been awhile since Diabolical fired me, and that sure wasn’t easy to deal with. I lost it all, everything I cared about because of Diabolical. But that was at 5.1, I think I paid Diabolical back in spades last week at 6.2, don’t you think?

The crowd cheers as Guybrush strikes a pose with a large wink.

Guybrush: And I’m sure if people look hard enough you’ll find Diabolical eventually. In a ditch. In the middle of nowhere. Drowning in a pool of his own blood, exactly like the piece of garbage that he is. It’s a lesson to everyone, don’t get on the wrong side of a pirate, bad things happen to you. I don’t think we have to worry about seeing Dr. David Diabolical around these parts for a very long time.

The crowd once again cheers, still amazed by the triumphant return of their favorite pirate.

Guybrush: There you have it folk, Guybrush Threepwood is back. Your friendly neighborhood Pirate has returned and he can’t wait to sign a contract and get back in this ring and start cleaning house and doing a little Swashbucklers Shuffle.

Guybrush begins to dance momentarily, but is interrupted by a figure emerging from the curtains backstage.

MASS Caesar: So it seems the pirate has returned. Who gave you permission to do that? Certainly not I, and after all I am the King of Alchemy. You dare trespass on my show? Foolish move Pirate. You are nothing, you have always been nothing. Do not think we have forgotten the days when you teamed with that imposter Guiomar forming your little comedy duo. You were a disgrace then, and you are a disgrace now. I wouldn’t think about signing that contract if I were you. If you do I will personally put you out of commission and succeed where Diabolical failed.

Guybrush: Hold your horses there. No wait, you didn’t bring your horses this time, well, just hold on. What makes you think you, of all people, can come out here and start attacking me. If I remember correctly and I always do, Pirates have memories like Elephants, you are the same person that jobbed to Diddly Fusion are you not? You think now that you have some swanky new clothes and a sweet new ride you can come out here and talk as if you own the place. I don’t quite think you understand exactly what a pirate is, I will do what I want, regardless of what you have to say about it.

MASS Caesar: You will listen, I am the King of Alchemy, the rightful King.

Guybrush: If you are so intent on attacking me, why don’t you come on down to the ring here and throw a few with me, I certainly need the practice and a little tussle with a jobber like you wouldn’t hurt.

MASS Caesar: No thanks you drunkard, I have a Mount Vesuvius Qualification match tonight which I must be prepared for. And on top of that I have to stay in top physical condition to destroy your old friend Guiomar, I wouldn’t want him to have to deal with losing to me at less than 100%. I’ll take my leave of your for now pirate, but don’t think you have escaped my wrath.

Caesar turns to exit the ramp but is met with a surprise clothesline from King Guiomar who has emerged from backstage. Caesar, caught completely unaware by the clothesline crumples immediately to the ground before being dragged down to the ring by an infuriated King Guiomar.

King Guiomar: I couldn’t just stand idly by and let this...man...talk down to a friend.

Guybrush: You’ve always got my back Guiomar, a Doubloon never dies.[/b]

Pulling Caesar into the ring Guiomar and Guybrush take turns delivering kick after kick to the ribcage of their fallen victim. Slowly Caesar begins to try and slowly make his way to the edge of the ring as the boots of his attackers reign down upon. Sensing the edge of the apron Caesar pulls with all his might, rolling over the edge onto the floor below. Gaining his feet and holding his ribs MASS Caesar quickly makes his escape up the ramp and backstage. Guiomar and Threepwood however remain in the ring.

King Guiomar: It’s good to know that there are still some people I can call an ally around here.

Guybrush: Friends are always around, you just need to look. But for now, we need to celebrate. You find the Grog, I’ll bring the dance moves.

Dropping his microphone Guybrush breaks into his famous Swashbuckler Shuffle drawing the crowd into a frenzy. Cheers erupt throughout the arena as their favorite pirate is temporarily reunited with King Guiomar, allowing the crowd to witness a brief Doubloon reunion.

Stone: With Supremacy just around the corner, we’re only missing one part of the fatal four way for the FMW C-4 title, as the winner of this match will fill out that spot!

Foxx: You heard Hostyle earlier, he doesn’t care if it’s Dalby Sound, or Nick Rijkaard, he can beat either one of them.

Stone: There’s no questioning that his focus is most definitely on Neutron Star after what happened earlier, not to mention, he’s going to need to keep his head on a swivel for Hannibal Frost.

Cherry: Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall, with the winner receiving a place in the C-4 Fatal Four Way at Supremacy!!!!!

Introducing first!

Hero by Machinae Supremacy heralds the return of our first competitor, and Nick Rijkaard high fives his fans, back-lit by the orange lights of the entrance way.

Cherry: Weighing in at 218 lbs, standing at 5 feet, 9 inches tall, he is The Lion! He is The New Era of Full Metal Wrestling!!! THIS… IS… NIIIIICKKKKKKKKKK RIIIIIIIIJKKAAAAAAARRRRRRRDDDD!!!!!!!!!!

Stone: Rijkaard in for a tough one here, we haven’t seen Dalby Sound this focused in some time.

Foxx: He gets this hard on for that C-4 Title that gets him into his matches, but add into that the Million Dollar Challenge he’s trying to put on, and he’s a man on a mission. A mission that will fail anytime he’s against a big opponent.

Muhammad Ali extols the virtue of how great he is before a blast of pyro signals the appearance of Dalby Sound, joined as always by his company, Dalby takes the time to slap a few hands before heading to ringside…

Cherry: And his opponent, he weighs in at 215 lbs, standing 6 feet, 3 inches tall. He is the master of the Sound Style, he is the Million Dollar SOUUUUND!!!! DAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLBBBBBBYYYYYYY SSSSOUNNNNNNNDDDD!!!!

Dalby raises his arms in the air, before asking Buster Cherry for the microphone.

Sound: Rijkaard, you know that have nothing but respect for you as a competitor, but tonight, you stand between me, and the one thing that I need to make my Challenge complete, the C-4 title. Unfortunately for you, that means respect is out the window. But I make you this offer. Because I do hate a fight, that isn’t a fight, to ensure that you fight with all you’ve got, I’m putting up my Million Dollar prize in tonight’s match… which starts right now!

Stone: Dalby Sound just nailed Rijkaard in the head with that microphone! The ref hadn’t started the match, making it all very legal, and we’re underway with Nick Lion in a lot of trouble early on!

Foxx: Like I said earlier Stone, Dalby is obsessed with what he thinks that C-4 title brings with it, and he’s willing to do what it takes to get it.

Stone: You can see, as Dalby backs Rijkaard into the corner with legs kicks, Andrew King is excited about this new intensity.

Foxx: Why wouldn’t he be? His client might actually start to be worth keeping around if this stays through.

Stone: Forearm shunts in the corner as Dalby presses the attack, Irish whip now to the opposite turnbuckle, and Rijkaard goes in stiff. Dalby charges across the ring, looking for a big Yakuza kick, NAILED HIM! MY GOD WHAT A KICK IN THE FACE! Strikes are not a big part of Dalby’s arsenal but he’s put them to good use tonight.

Foxx: Rijkaard is stunned, he’s crawling around trying to get his bearings, because I guarantee you, no matter what his strategy may have been coming into this, it didn’t involve a striking Dalby. He’s unprepared, and in trouble.

Stone: Dalby going back to his roots here though, grabbing a hold on Nick, keying in an arm bar. Working the elbow and the shoulder here of Nick Rijkaard, softening him up for something. Could it be this Pure Gold he warned us of earlier?

Foxx: I’m interested to see the move Stone, but I’m not so sure I like Dalby trying to play this mind game with Hostyle. It almost comes across as more of Dalby conforming, than it does trying to one up the champ.

Stone: Dalby using the key lock to bring Rijkaard to his feet now, and a stiff knee lift to the midsection, and a lifter sends Rijkaard back to the mat. Dalby’s going up!

Foxx: This is a rare sight for Sound, he’s not a fan of spot style wrestling, and has generally avoided the top ropes here in FMW!

Stone: We know he’s agile enough for them, but a tad out of practice, as you see him struggle to balance. SWANTON DIVE! FROM THE TOP ROPE A SWANTON DIVE!

Foxx: MISSED!

Stone: Rijkaard has moved out of the way! Dalby crashes to the mat, and Rijkaard is on his feet, and fired up!

Foxx: It was smart to surprise Nick with the strikes, strikes are not high risk, but to go to the top rope when you’re in control like that, bad form by Dalby.

Stone: Nick stalking Sound now, waiting for him to get to his feet, a huge clothesline by Rijkaard! Dalby back up, drop kicked back down! Dalby now struggling to his feet, Rijkaard with a spinning back fist!

Foxx: Dalby caught it! Dalby catches the spinning back fist, and using his other arm, he’s scooped Rijkaard into a Fireman’s Carry.

Stone: It’s the Grand Central Station of wrestling, so many places you can go from here… Dalby takes his arm from the back of Rijkaard’s head, and brings it around front, locking it with Rijkaard’s arm, what is this…?

Foxx: PURE GOLD BABY!!!!

Stone: Dalby Sound rocking Nick’s feet back toward the ground, HE SWINGS IT BACK SENDING RIJKAARD FACE FIRST ONTO THE MAT!!!! His back is bent at just an awful angle, and look! Dalby still has that arm key locked, he pulls back into an arm bar, but Nick might be out from that fall!

Foxx: The ref’s calling it Stone, he’s calling it!

Stone: Pure Gold claims its first victim in Nick Rijkaard, and Dalby Sound is moving on to Supremacy to face Hostyle, Neutron Star, and Hannibal Frost for the C-4 title.

Cherry: The winner of the match, due to referee stoppage, DAAAAAAAAALBBBYYYYYY SOOOUUUUNNDDD!!!!!!!!!!

Dalby Sound (7.86 aps + 1.7 avs = 9.56 total)
Nick Rijkaard (0.0 aps + 0.0 avs = 0.0 total)

Dalby takes the microphone from Buster, and looks to the back.

Sound: HOSTYLE! You better make sure you pay attention to me… you can worry about Frost and Star all you want, but if you don’t pay attention to me… and my new baby… PURE GOLD! Well, that wouldn’t be a very… hahaha… Sound idea. I will walk into Supremacy, still your Million Dollar Sound, but baby, when it’s over? I’ll have 8 pounds of gold to go with it!

The illumination from the monitor casts a glow across Westley McGreggor’s face. The events of the match reflected in the man’s eyes. Standing McGreggor takes a swing at the monitor, a single hit to vent his frustrations before regaining his composure.

McGreggor: Alchemy 6.2 is the distant past now. I’m sure all of you have forgotten about it, but I haven’t. Mark my words Dalby Sound, I have not forgotten.

Sitting back down in the chair in front of the monitor McGreggor lets a wry smile crawl across his face.

McGreggor: Because of you Dalby, the federation, the fans and the entire world think I am nothing but a joke. You made me out to be nothing more than a jobber after our last match. Truth be told, I am no joke, and bollocks to you for making a fool of me.

Cracking his knuckles McGreggor lets out a little chuckles before turning his attention back to the monitory which was currently showing Dalby Sound standing in the center of the ring, victorious.

McGreggor: The thing is Dalby, I want you to win. Hell, at Supremacy I will be ringside cheering for you. You heard me, cheering for YOU. I have my aim set on you Dalby, but when you walk away with that title, all my attention will be on you. The target on your back will have you checking around every corner, turning on every light just to make sure you’re safe.

McGreggor: Can you live with that Dalby, can you live with me constantly after you. Because when you win that title I will be everywhere you look. The next time we meet in the ring will be different from our last meeting. I will emerge a Million Dollar Man, my rightful claim, and you...well Dalby, you will be the joke next time we meet.

Rising from his seat once again McGreggor cracks the monitor in front of him, this time sending the picture to a static signal. McGreggor turns and leaves the view of the camera which has zoomed in on the static picture.

Cherry: The following match is scheduled for one fall and is a MOUNT VESUVIUS QUALIFIER!

“The Might of Rome” by Hans Zimmer begins to blare through the arena as the curtain is pulled open. Suddenly a carriage holding Mass Caesar being pulled by several slaves tears through the opening and down the ramp towards the ring. At the very last second the slaves turn and take the carriage on a lap around the ring as Mass Caesar uses a whip to urge them on.

As they complete the circuit the carriage rolls to a halt right next to the ring steps. Caesar jumps from the wheeled mount and ignores the steps instead walking to the very middle of the ramp. At his gesture three of the slaves lean over to form steps as Caesar walks up them to the ring and steps over the ropes. After entering he motions away with his hand and the slaves once more grab the straps and take the carriage up the ramp and out of the arena.

Cherry: Weighing in tonight at two hundred and ten pounds and hailing from the great city of Rome, Italy. This is MASS CAESAR!

Stone: That is by far one of the most pompous men we have here on the Alchemy roster.

Foxx: Well love him or hate him the man rolls with style and knows how to make an entrance.

Stone: Well entrance or not one has to wonder how ready he is to compete after the roughing up he took at the hands of the Doubloons earlier tonight.

Foxx: He’s an emperor, he’ll rule over this peasant, you’ll see.

“I’m Shipping Up To Boston” by Dropkick Murphy’s begins to blare to a mixed reaction from the crowd.

Stone: It seems people don’t know what to make of the eldest O’Rion anymore.

Foxx: He’s doing the smart thing and sticking with his “brothers”, more than the other two can say.

Suddenly Andrew O’Rion better known now as Mercutio comes rushing through the curtains with Syanide and Harlequin at his side. The three stand at the top of the ramp for a moment before a flash of pyro blinds everyone in the arena. After that Andrew runs down and slides into the ring as his two stable mates take their time walking to ringside.

Cherry: And his opponent accompanied by HavOc members Syanide and Harlequin. He weighs in at two hundred and fifty pounds and comes to you love from Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. This is MERCUTIO!

Stone: And theirs the bell, time to see which of these two men are going go to the single biggest match in wrestling history Mount Vesuvius!

Foxx: That should be obvious Stone, Caesar is limping a bit and Mercutio brought the numbers, this match is a no brainer.

Stone: Weren’t you just advocating his victory earlier?

Foxx: Even emperors can be dethroned Stone.

Stone: Mercutio ignores the call for a tie up and bounces of the ropes running straight for Caesar. Caesar swings out an arm but Mercutio ducks underneath it. He goes off the other ropes and nails Caesar with a bulldog!

Foxx: Interesting start to this match, I thought the bigger man would try to out power the banged up Caesar.

Stone: I think he just wanted to get him down quickly as Mercutio is really laying into Caesar with those stomps to the lower back.

Foxx: Look at Harlequin, he looks like a kid in a candy store full of hand grenades with how happy he is for his partner.

Stone: That he does, Mercutio stops the kicks now and grabs Caesar by the hair. He pulls him to a level base and Irish whips him into the ropes. Beautifully executed drop kick by Mercutio and Mass rolls to the outside from the impact.

Foxx: Harlequins so happy now that he’s getting up on the apron to high five his friend, what sportsmanship.

Stone: The referee trying to get Harlequin down, but he doesn’t see Syanide on the other side next to Caesar.

Foxx: Caesar to his feet now and Syanide is grinning, what’s going through his sick mind?

Stone: ARROWHEAD SHOT! HE JUST KICKED CAESARS TEETH DOWN HIS THROAT!

Foxx: What team work from HavOc, this match is going to be over before it can even begin!

Stone: Syanide rolls the emperor back into the ring and Harlequin jumps down as Mercutio goes for the pin.

ONE!

TWO!

THRE.....HOW THE HELL!

Foxx: Caesar kicks out, Mercutio can’t believe it, Syanide can’t believe it, this match should be over!

Stone: Well it’s not, Caesar is still alive and still in contention to make the Mount Vesuvius match! Mercutio is arguing with the referee about the count, he thinks it was slow.

Foxx: He’s being slow, he’s completely forgot about Caesar.

Stone: Caesar is slowly getting back to his feet and Mercutio is still arguing with the referee. Caesar grabs him by the shoulders and rocks him with a huge right hand. He catches Mercutio on the rebound with hard right hand the has the young Canadians head spinning.

Foxx: Mercutio continuing the assault with a body slam as he throws Mercutio down and follows that with an elbow drop the stomach.

Stone: I think Mass Caesar wants to fly as he jumps straight to the top rope and turns around.

Foxx: But Harlequin doesn’t agree as he jumps to the top rope, Caesar kicks him off again and stands up!

Stone: Caesar jumps and nails a HUGE LEG DROP straight to the chest of Mercutio, he might have broke some ribs with that impact.

Foxx: I haven’t seen someone get that high since the time I smoked with Snoop Dogg!

Stone:.......

Foxx: What I can’t roll with the home boys too?

Stone: I’m going to forget you ever said that. Caesar with the cover!

ONE!

TWO!

NO! Mercutio with a kick out after the two count, but it doesn’t look Caesar is going to let him catch his breath.

Foxx: Caesar has some momentum going his way, he’d be a fool not to follow through now, not with this much on the line, and especially not in his condition.

Stone: I have to agree with you, the longer this match goes the more it favors Mercutio as unlike the emperor he is fresh and unharmed here tonight. Caesar has Mercutio up now, he’s lifting up onto his shoulders. It looks like he’s calling for the end right now as he begins to spin!

Foxx: Round and round and round they go.....round and round......

Stone: Are you alright?

Foxx: I think I’m gonna be sick.....

Stone: Charming, Caesar finally stops spinning with Mercutio on his shoulders and lifts him! IDES OF MARCH! THIS MATCH IS OVER!

ONE!

TWO!

THR....WHAT THE FUCK!

Foxx: What my partner is trying to say is that Syanide and Harlequin have pulled Mercutio from the ring and are helping him stand on the outside to catch a breather.

Stone: Caesar is furious, he had this match won and he knows it. Wait, what’s he doing?

Foxx: Something crazy?

Stone: I think so......SUICIDEDIVE INTO HAVOC! CAESAR JUST TOOK OUT ALL THREE MEN!

Foxx: He also just took out himself though.

Stone: But he’s also the first one stirring, I still can’t believe what we just saw, Caesar really wants a chance to grab that torch on top of the mountain.

Foxx: Or a chance to kill himself.

Stone: The referee’s count has gotten to seven, but Caesar rolls into the ring to break up the count. He rolls back out and grabs Mercutio bringing him back into the ring.

Foxx: Look at the former O’Rion he can barely stand and Caesar is picking him up in another fireman’s carry! He’s trying for the Ides of March again.

Stone: But now Harlequin is trying to get into the ring and the referee is trying to hold him out, wait theirs Syanide, LOOK OUT CAESAR!

Foxx: Syanide just kicked him right in the royal jewels, Caesar topples over like the late Roman Empire as the skinhead rolls out of the ring.

Stone: Mercutio is still woozy but he is back to his feet and standing right behind Caesar near the turnbuckle.

Foxx: Caesar stands and gets nailed by the Cross Wires! Mercutio just suplexed him into the turnbuckle and dropped him on his head.

Stone: Caesar immediately grabs his neck and is rolling around in immense pain. Mercutio goes for the over. God dammit, not like this.

ONE!

TWO!

KICK OUT DAMMIT!

THREE!

Cherry: The winner of the match and newest entrant in the Mount Vesuvius match at Circus Maximus, MERCUTIO!

Mercutio (7.64 aps + 1.2 avs = 8.84 total)
Mass Caesar (7.9 aps - 0.4 penalty + 0.5 avs = 8.0 total)

“I’m Shipping Up To Boston” begins to play once more as Andrew rolls from the ring. Syanide and Harlequin help him up the ramp as they head to the back.

Stone: Fucking Havoc, after all the heart Caesar showed here tonight he comes away empty handed because he was outnumbered.

Foxx: Heart doesn’t mean shit if you aren’t the smart one, and tonight HavOc had all the brains to bring the numbers.

Caesar still hasn’t gotten off the mat when the referee comes to check on him. Caesar holds his hand to his neck as the referee throws up the X symbol towards the back and EMT’s run down to check on the down superstar as we fade away

We cut again backstage where the Great TO is standing by with Alex O’Rion.

Great TO: My guest at this time, the only real loser in the O’Rion family, Alex!

Alex: Well TO, it’s a pleasure to be here. I know how hard you’ve been working tonight, all these backstage interviews and all. What do you think, is this more work or less than when you work as a Go-Go Dancer at the gay clubs on Friday nights?

Great TO: Fuck you Alex, here I am trying to do my job and every fucking time I have to interview you, you fucking taunt me. But fuck it if you want to make gay jokes, how does it feel to know that tonight in that very ring the three members of HavOc are going to literally have their way with you?

Alex: Figures you’d be the one to fantasize about me getting raped by three men.

Great TO: Fuck you, just answer the damned question!

Alex: Fine. You want to know what I think, nothing, not a damned thing. This is just another day at the office for this bye. I’ve had the shyte beaten out of me by one man, two men, three men, hell twelve men, and it all ends the same. They never do the job right because I am still here. Still here to piss you off TO, still here to piss of Jaro and his cock slobbering Original Sin. I’m like the fucking Cher of FMW, except much better looking and more talented. You could drop a nuke on this place and I guarantee I’ll be the one still fucking standing.

Last week they tried a handicap match, and forgot to check to see if I was still kicking. This week though I get one of them all by their very lonesome in that ring, I mean everyone knows it’ll be a fair one on one challenge.

Everyone with a brain the size of Jaro’s miniscule dick that is anyway.

We all know Chuckles and Judas v. 2.0 are going to be there making sure he can’t be touched. But the thing is I know both those byes real well, they can’t scare me. Hell I still remember the time ‘Drew wet his pants on the playground when Sindy Lawford kissed him in the second grade? And I’m supposed to be scared of him?

Fuck it, they know who I am, and I wasn’t raised to run from a fight.

Great TO: Last question then, what happens if the runt of your litter decides to interfere again?

Alex: …..Adrian

Great TO: Yeah him.

Alex doesn’t answer he just stares at the Great TO with a mix of anger and hatred for a moment before putting on his sunglasses and walking away.



Although the typical Coliseum of Rome combatants were trained gladiators, convicted criminals and prisoners of war, occasionally glory-seeking individuals volunteered to fight. Often they overrated their skills and suffered the consequences ...

... At least one emperor ordered his guards to toss unsuspecting spectators into the arena, for various reasons. The victim may have previously angered the emperor. Or, the victim may have been a complete stranger but the emperor disliked the way he was behaving in the Coliseum of Rome. Sometimes the emperor's motive was simply to amuse himself by randomly selecting a spectator to meet his death in the arena.

It is the Emperor's will that 30 Full Metal Wrestling superstars compete for his amusement. Thirty men will vie for the torch that sits atop Mt. Vesuvius. The winner receives a FMW Championship at Ultimatum.

The greatest match in the history of professional sports returns...

How will HavOc’s gang mentality help them even the playing field, now that all three men have earned their spots?

[size=200]MT. VESUVIUS II[/size]

The battle for Supremacy rages on for the FMW C-4 Title. A champion has made 3 powerful N.M.E.’s

Hostyle: Hostyle: I’ve beaten Frost…I’ve beaten Sound… Of course, the match is still on! And as far as Neutron is concerned… He has just made himself a VERY powerful N.M.E.!!!

A partner will seek redemption…

Star: The top title in Alchemy, huh? Well, you can bet all your HPs that I am engaging you at Supremacy… for your dearly beloved C-4 Championship!

While another seeks revenge…

Frost: Fucking Jaro and his fucking Original Sin. I swear to fucking god you are all going to pay for this, every fucking one of you!

For one man, money alone can’t buy happiness…

Sound: If I can win that belt, they will have no choice but to take my challenge! I'll call the shots, and you get a chunk of that champion pay day! It's perfect!

Who will reign as the Supreme Pure Athlete of Alchemy?




Stone: Back here on FMW Alchemy, we’re gonna take you back to last week, at 6.2, to show anyone who missed it why our prayers are with FORMER GM of Alchemy, Celeste, let’s take a look…

Jaro: Someday Karma, when you grow up you’re going to stop being a little girl and be a woman. When that happens you have a certain number of responsibilities that you need to attend to. You need to cook, you need to clean, you need to care for children, and MOST importantly you need to listen and do whatever your male superior tells you to do.

Jaro: I trusted you to be the General Manager of Alchemy. Alchemy is supposed to be the flagship of my Full Metal Wrestling empire and I trusted you with it Celeste. I have a lot of pride in this show seeing as how I was the very first General Manager, and since you’re basically just another part of me I assumed you would do alright.

But what has happened to my flag ship since. We have proud superstars like Dr. Diabolical being relegated to jobbing to no name losers like Nick Rijkaard. We have Dante Jones, one of the original faces of this show has become a fucking nobody, hell I don’t even know if he’s around anymore. We have up and comers like Gabriel Lance and Steve Zanoni quitting left and right. Fuck people are so sick of this show that they are running our head writers down with their cars.

Jaro leans down so he can look Celeste right in the eyes.

Jaro: And that is ALL. YOUR. FAULT!

Celeste breaks down and starts crying, she tries to crawl away but Jaro just grabs her by her hair and yanks her back to him. After a moment he turns back to Karma who has tears in her eyes and smiles.

Using the hair he was still holding he yanks Celeste’s head right back into his knee, using both of them to knee her repeatedly in the back of the head as she screams in pain. After a moment he throws her face down on the canvas. Celeste tries to crawl to her knees but Jaro comes and kicks her right in the side of the head knocking her down. Jaro mounts on top of her and repeatedly smashes his right fist into her temple. The crowd is screaming for him to stop as blood begins to cover his fist from the wound.

Not done yet Jaro grabs hold of the microphone cord and yanks it twice around Celeste’s neck before pulling it tight. The woman struggles to get free, gasping for breath but Jaro just pulls tighter with a maniacal gleam in his eye. Her struggles get weaker and weaker until finally she falls limp, knocked out by the lack of air. Jaro noticing this throws her body down and stands over her, his hands raised in victory as the crowd grows louder in their boos. Jaro kicks her a few times and keeps nudging her body.

Stone: This is sick, I’ve seen enough!

Stone throws down his headset and rushes from the announcers table to slide into the ring. Jaro seeing him coming rolls out the other side and struts up the ramp ignoring the items the crowd is throwing at him. Stone kneels down to check on Celeste as Jaro celebrates his ‘victory’.

Foxx: This is wrong ladies and gentlemen. I’ve supported Jaro for a long time, I’ve loved what Original Sin has done here in FMW.

Stone: Ladies and Gentlemen, may Jason Roy burn in hell for what he did here last week. Time for one last break, when we come back, MAIN EVENT TIME!
 
Stone: We’re back on FMW Alchemy, and during the break, this travelling Circus known as HavOc has already made their way to the ring.

Foxx: That was bullshit…

Stone: You sir are just mad you fell for a squirting flower lapel. All three of these men have qualified for Mount Vesuvius II, and so for tonight, they’re two for two.

Foxx: They’re smart enough to work together to achieve a common goal. They don’t like losing, so the losers stick together.

Stone: The legal man when the bell sounds will be Syanide, but Alex O’Rion is going to have to keep his head on a swivel…

Godsmack’s “I Stand Alone” sounds the arrival of the Pride of Nova Scotia, as a banged up Alex O’Rion tries to put on a good front to the crowd.

Stone: Look at O’Rion, he’s not at 100%. I talked to him earlier tonight, yeah, he’s sore, but when isn’t he? He’s won big matches with more pain than he has tonight. But he’s having trouble sleeping. HavOc has gotten to him, not to mention his little brother Adrian poking around.

Foxx: He’s going to have to put that behind him, or lay down, because with those two at ringside, and Syanide in front of him, he can’t afford to lose focus.

Cherry: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, with a television time limit. Introducing first, to my left, he is a former Full Metal Wrestling Television Champion, once the most feared man in all of wrestling. He weighed in today at 287 pounds, and stands 6 feet, 6 inches tall. He is The Sadistic One! One third of HavOc! He is Daniel Lincoln, better known, as SSSSYYYYYYAAANNNNIIIIIIDDEEE!!!!!

Stone: All three members of HavOc are still in the ring, and glaring at O’Rion. Syanide sitting on the top turn buckle, while the Commedia kneels in front of him, and I think I just saw Harlequin lick his lips…

Cherry: And his opponent. He is the Alchemy leader of the Resistance. Beaten down at every opportunity by Original Sin, this Phoenix always rises again to stand tall. Today he stands tall at 6 feet, 2 inches tall, and weighed in at 240 lbs. He is the Pride of Nova Scotia! This, is ALLLLEEEX OOOOOO”RRRRIIIOOOONNNN!!!!!!

STONE: O’Rion off like a shot! He races towards HavOc, ducks a clothesline from Harlequin, and jumps up to the shoulder of a still kneeling Mercutio! Off Mercutio’s shoulder, a Shining Wizard to Syanide! He falls down to the floor, as the ref calls for the bell!

FOXX: Alex wanted to level the playing field, but he took out the one guy he’s gotta pin in the ring! He turn around and starts trading blows with Harlequin and Mercutio now, but he could have covered Syanide if he landed back in the ring.

STONE: A double dropkick by O’Rion stuns his brother Andrew, and the psychotic Harlequin, and O’Rion is setting up the NS Pride! He’s going to take out another one of the bye’s!

FOXX: Probably not.

STONE: Why not?

FOXX: Nazi.

STONE: A devastating lariat to the back of the neck! Syanide, I didn’t even see him get back in the ring, but he just laid waste to a crouched over, unsuspecting Alex O’Rion.

FOXX: O’Rion lucky that the ref is stopping Commedia from stomping away at O’Rion, as this match is finally going to slip back to a one on one contest.

STONE: Syanide taking an arm wringer on O’Rion, and wringing under again, the arm doesn’t bend that way Foxx, as you can see by O’Rion flipping to his back, not as a defense, but as a response. Lincoln keys in an arm bar now, holding onto the Hayabusa Cup winner, stretching away on the shoulder and chest, wearing him down.

FOXX: You find a body part, and you work it. Everyone wants to win with their finish these days, if you work a body part right, you can win with a simple submission hold. Smart beats fancy, everyday of the week.

STONE: Well we’ll see what Syanide is as this match continues, lifting O’Rion back to his feet now, shoots him into the turnbuckle, chest first! You can see that O’Rion is clutching his chest, near the shoulder; Syanide has isolated that part of the Pride of Nova Scotia, and is going to work.

FOXX: O’Rion stumbling back out of the corner now, Syanide hooking him for a back suplex? A back SNAP suplex! Wow! He torqued him over fast, and again, the impact is on the chest and stomach of O’Rion. You attack the chest, breathing slows down, and so does your opponent. A tired, out of breath man, cannot kick out.

STONE: Syanide goes for the cover here, only a 2 count though, as O’Rion got his foot on the ropes. Lincoln is taking O’Rion back into the corner, and look at the jackals! Mercutio and Harlequin immediately grab and pull on O’Rion’s arms, he can’t defend himself here!

FOXX: Mmm… chops.

STONE: Syanide reaching back, and a HUGE overhand branding iron style chop, and O’Rion can’t even fall down, with HavOc tying him up. Rears back and ANOTHER chop from Syanide to O’Rion, and his chest is split open, the blood cells have burst, O’Rion is bright red!

FOXX: This is what you get with a numbers advantage, combined with fear. The ref is scared of HavOc, scared of Original Sin, scared of losing his job, so all he’s doing is begging Commedia to stop interfering. Of course, they won’t, and Syanide will continue to chop his opponent.

STONE: He’s about to wind up for a third one, telling the crowd to quiet down for this one… leans back, O’RION’S FREE! He breaks the grip of CDA, and swings his arms up, boxing the ears of Syanide! Syanide crumples holding his ears, what a shot by O’Rion!

FOXX: You negate the size advantage when the man can’t stand; O’Rion took his hearing away, as well as his equilibrium. Now he has to jump on Syanide before HavOc realize he’s in trouble.

STONE: Syanide trying to stand, but knocked back down by a spinning heel kick! O’Rion quickly up top, Missile dropkick! Syanide down again, struggling to find his balance, O’Rion behind him, hooks the head! Inverted snap suplex of his own! Syanide crashes to the canvas, and we have a cover!

1!

2!

SYANIDE KICKED OUT!

STONE: Syanide barely escapes that lateral press, and HavOc is hitting the ring, but O’Rion is fighting them off! Dropkick for Mercutio, now one for Harlequin! Mercutio charges in and gets a big Spine buster for his troubles! Harlequin lunging at O’Rion, Leg Hook Suplex!

FOXX: ARROWHEAD SHOT! ARROWHEAD SHOT!

STONE: Hostyle doesn’t understand the use of the Superkick, that’s why right there! Syanide made it to his feet while O’Rion fended off HavOc, and all he had to do was time it right, and BAM! Arrowhead Shot, here’s the cover, 1! 2! 3! Syanide wins it!

Cherry: Here is your winner, SYYYYANNIIDDDEE!!!!
Syanide (8.01 aps + 1.2 avs = 9.21 total)
Alex O`Rion (7.86 aps - 0.4 penalty + 0.5 avs = 7.96 total)

As Syanide stands in the middle of the ring, his feet continually crashing against the chest of the downed Alex O’Rion, a familiar laugh erupts through the speaker system as Harlequin and Mercutio rush down the ramp to the ring to assist their stable mate.

[laugh][/laugh]

Foxx: There’s the laugh we needed to hear folks, HavOc has arrived.

Stone: What are they doing here? This fight has nothing to do with them.

Foxx: Seems to me they are making it have something to do with them right not. Harlequin and Mercutio laying waste to O’Rion.

Stone: Dear God Andrew, he is your brother!

Foxx: Give it up Stone, Andrew is playing for the good guys now. Look at those fists and feet connect with O’Rion’s body.

Harlequin stops himself and turns towards the announce table, gesturing for a microphone, which is soon reciprocated with the tossing of the mic.

Harlequin: You all saw it. Myself and HavOc were asked to come and finish off Alex O’Rion. To rid the world of this plague...but alas, Harlequin takes orders from no man. Make no mistake O’Rion, we aren’t done with you, and you will be finished, but it will be on my own time sir. Original Sin and Hostyle can bitch all they want, but I...We will rid this world of you when we damn well feel like it. And for the record, that time is at Supremacy. Your blood will cover my boot good sir, and you will love every minute of it.
[laugh][/laugh]

Hostyle: Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. Hold on there, laughing man. Alchemy is my brand right now. I am in charge. You don’t walk around making matches. I’m a little, okay, a lot pissed off that you think it’s okay for you to go around disobeying orders. Rather I should be a little pissed off, but I’m not. Want to do know why?

Harlequin: Do tell. We are all dying to find out. Especially O’Rion here.

Harlequin drops a vicious boot into the sternum of the downed O’Rion causing a trickle of blood to form at his lips.

Hostyle: It’s rather ingenious actually. So innovative, so original that only I could have thought it up. This is an idea so grandiose that no mere mortal could have concocted it, no, only an innovative God such as myself could have come up with something so brilliant.

Mercutio: We get it. Get on with the plan, we don’t have all night.

Hostyle: We will get there when I am ready. For too long Alex O’Rion, King of the Superkick here has been the Face of Alchemy. Hell he even won Alchemy Superstar of the Year. Over the past year and a half he has become the personification of Alchemy, he is what you think of when you hear the word Alchemy. Well he has had a year and a half in that spotlight and what does he have to show for it? Nothing more than a massive losing streak and now Syanide’s boot mark on his face. The golden age of Alex O’Rion has passed. I am the new face of Alchemy, this is Hostyle’s time to shine.

Harlequin: And all this means what to us Hostyle?

Hostyle: What does it mean? It means you can have your match at Supremacy but there’s a catch.

Harlequin: You know how I hate catches Hostyle, this better be good. Or I’ll be laughing my boot straight down your throat.

Hostyle: Oh it’s good there Smiley. You see if O’Rion loses, he is off of my brand. I don’t want his failure tainting my brand anymore! Out with the old and in with the Gold!

Harlequin: I hate to stick up for O’Rion here. But if he is gone I will lose my favorite punching bag, and that is just devastating to ME. Think about ME!

Hostyle: My Mind is already made up. O’Rion is toast if he loses at Supremacy.

Harlequin: Are you sure? Like absolutely positive?

Hostyle: Beyond 100%

Harlequin: Be careful what you wish for there, Hostyle. Chances are, if you wish hard enough you might just get it. And without O’Rion around you’ll have a whole heap of problems to deal with. Things may very well suddenly descend into HavOc.

Stone: What is Harlequin doing? He’s mad. O’Rion is almost dead and Harlequin has hoisted him into the air.

Foxx: This is a little something Harlequin has been working on. Look at him just suspending O’Rion in the air, beautiful isn’t it.

Stone: Disgusting is more like it. Look, Syanide and Mercutio are climbing turnbuckles.

Foxx: Like poetry in motion, this is going to be brilliant.

[laugh][/laugh]

Stone: No! That’s The Death of Zanni, Harlequin just dropped Alex O’Rion on his neck, and off the turnbuckles come Syanide and Mercutio.

Foxx: Double Leg Drops, Alex is going to feel that in the morning, if he has any feeling left in his body at all. That would you get when you cross paths with HavOc.

Stone: This is disgusting, he already bloodied and barely breathing and they continue to beat away at the Pride of Nova Scotia. Ladies and Gentlemen you could be witnessing Alex O’Rion’s last moment on Alchemy.

Foxx: Good riddance to bad rubbish is what I say. HavOc is giving him exactly what he deserves.

Stone: No one deserves this Foxx, this is just inhumane.

Foxx: Clearly O’Rion deserves it or it wouldn’t be happening, GM Hostyle wouldn’t let something like this happen unprovoked. We leave you now with what can only be described as good television, watching Alex O’Rion bleed.