Anarchy 7.4 - RESULTS

[ana]The pyro shoots off as the camera scans the crowd in Oaklahoma City.

Larsen: Hello everybody and welcome to another edition of Anarchy! I'm your host Robb Larsen along side my broadcast partner Morpheus, and this show has already started off with a bang!

Morpheus: Yeah, I guess you can call it that.

Larsen: Before the show took place this evening, two men vying for position in FMW faced off as Hatchet Ryda faced off against Jake Woods! Hatchet Ryda was able to gain the upper hand at the last minute and won using a spectacular move!


Hatchet Ryda (7.73 aps - 0.1 penalty + 2.5 avs = 10.13 total)
Jake Woods (7.66 aps + 0.2 avs = 7.86 total)

Morpheus: Nobody wins when a clown is involved.

Larsen: Also, a special note here. Former FMW General Manager PHANTOM LORD is here in the audience today! Oh joy!

The camera cuts to Phantom Lord sitting in a luxury box. He reluctantly waves as the people boo him.[/ana]

Buster Cherry: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and the winner will be the #1 contender for the FMW Television Championship! Introducing first…



plays in the arena just before “The Devil Made Me Do It (And I’ll Do It Again)” by Wednesday 13 starts pumping into the arena. Ash Strife steps out onto the ramp and throws his hands to ceiling…

Larsen: Man, I hate when he does this.

…causing an explosion of fire to race down the ramp to the ring and a rain of blood to fall into the crowd.

Cherry:…hailing from Parts Unknown, and weighing in tonight at 425 pounds. The Immortal Corruptor…AAAAAAAAAAASH STRIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!

Ash slowly makes his way to ring with a slight limp and a bandage on his head just above his eye.

Morpheus: And Ash really seems to be favoring that leg that was hurt in his match against War Machine at 7.3. Between what happened to him in that match, and in the Mount Vesuvius match, he can’t be 100%.

Larsen: And if Kelson is smart, he’ll take complete advantage of it.

Morpheus: Wow, did you actually make an insightful comment about a match?

Larsen: Bite me, Morph.

Strife climbs into the ring as the blood rain stops and turns to face the entrance ramp.

Cherry: And his opponent, he hails from Montreal, Quebec, Canada. Weighing in tonight at 218 pounds, he is The Rising Star…CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIS KELSOOOOOOOON!

Click Click Boom” by Saliva starts pumping into the arena and the crowd goes wild. Gold lights come on in the arena and a waterfall curtain of pyro falls from under the METALtron.

Morpheus: What the hell?! And Kelson just came out of the crowd and he’s behind Strife! TURN AROUND ASH! HE’S BEHIND YOU!

Larsen: And Kelson clips Strife’s bad knee with a closeline, dropping the big man down to one knee! Kelson springboards off the middle rope as the ref calls for the bell to start the match, and nails Strife with a corkscrew crossbody! Kelson going for the quick pin, one, and kick out by Strife.

Morpheus: Man, that was some dirty shit he pulled there. Strife is definitely gonna make him pay for that. Strife is up and he whips Kelson into the ropes, and drills him into the mat with a vicious spinebuster! He picks Kelson up and whips him into the ropes again. Kelson ducks under the closeline, and tries to dropkick Strife in the chest, but Strife just staggers back a little and laughs at Kelson! Strife drops a quick elbow across Kelson’s throat and makes the cover, one, two, kick out by Kelson.

Larsen: Ash now dragging Chris over to the corner, and he’s going up to the top turnbuckle! What’s he thinking? And Kelson was playing possum! He runs up to the second turnbuckle…AND HE GERMAN SUPLEXES ASH STRIFE! The strength of the young Canuck! He keeps his legs wrapped around the rope, and gets back up. He’s on the top rope now…CORKSCREW FROG SPLASH! Kelson goes for another cover, one, two, kick out by Strife!

Morpheus: And Ash is starting to get frustrated here. Ash gets up and charges at Kelson, who nails him with an inverted atomic drop, and goes right into a bridging northern lights suplex! One, two, kickout by Strife! Where in the hell is Kelson getting the strength to pull this off? Celeste better drug test him.

Larsen: Why can’t you just accept the fact that Strife is being beaten by a better man?

Morpheus: Because, in the immortal words of Layfield, the bigger man is always the better man.

Larsen: Didn’t that bigger man gets his ass kicked by the smaller man a bunch of times?

Morpheus: Uh…didn’t your mom get her ass fucked by a smaller man a bunch of times?

Larsen: You’re such a child. Kelson gets whipped into the ropes, and Strife takes him down with a closeline that turns him inside out! And…what’s he going outside the ring for?

Morpheus: Strife, you fool! Make the cover!

Larsen: Strife grabs a chair from under the ring and brings it in with him! He’s trying to crack Kelson’s skull open with it, but the ref grabs the chair and stops him! Ash arguing with the ref…

Morpheus: TURN AROUND DAMMIT!

Larsen:…and doesn’t see Kelson getting up! He bounces off the ropes, and clips Strife’s knee with a closeline again! He bounces off the ropes again, and dropkick to the face of Ash Strife! Chris makes the cover, one, two, thKickout by Strife!

Morpheus: I hope the ref is happy that he nearly cost Ash the #1 contendership to the TV title. Ash now getting up, and he kicks Kelson hard in the gut. He picks him up for a powerbomb…

Larsen: I don’t think his knee is going to hold.

Morpheus:…and drills Kelson into the mat with the Abyss of Woe! Ash makes the cover, one, two…and Kelson has his foot on the bottom rope! Dammit!

Larsen: And Ash now picking Kelson up into a military press, and Chris wriggles out of it! Ash with an Irish whip into the ropes, and Kelson nails him with an enzuigiri right to the temple!

Morpheus: As opposed to an enzuigiri to the back, maybe?

Larsen: I really hate you, you know that?

Morpheus: Love you too, punkin.

Larsen: And Kelson now kicking at Ash’s leg, trying to bring him down. He manages to drop the big man down to one knee, and follows up with another enzuigiri that drops Ash to his back! Kelson with another cover, one, two, kickout!

Morpheus: Ash is pissed off, and I don’t really blame him. He should have had this match won by now! Strife picks him up and goes for a brainbuster, but Kelson wriggles out of it and goes for a superkick, but Strife catches his foot and drops an elbow on his leg. He goes for another brainbuster, but again Kelson wriggles out and this time kicks Ash behind the leg, dropping him to one knee yet again. Kelson off the ropes, and a dropkick to the back of head. Kelson climbs up to the top rope, waiting for Ash…WHO NAILS KELSON SQUARE IN THE FACE WITH THE CHAIR! Kelson falls off the top turnbuckle and falls to the floor outside the ring as the ref is calling for the bell!

Cherry: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match as a result of a disqualification and the #1 Contender to the FMW Television Championship…CHRIIIIIIIIIIIS KELSOOOOOOOOOOON!

Chris Kelson (7.81 aps - 0.1 penalty + 1.5 avs = 9.21 total)
Ash Strife (7.59 aps + 1.0 avs = 8.59 total)

Larsen: What in the hell possessed Ash to do that? How the hell did he even get hold of that chair again? I thought the ref threw it back outside the ring?

Morpheus: Nope, he just left it laying in the corner of the ring. And Ash took advantage and made Kelson pay for showing him up like that.

Larsen: Kelson is very slow to get up. And Ash just walking to the back with that chair still in his hands. And once Kelson wakes up, we’ll make sure we let him know that he’s the #1 contender to whoever wins the championship match later tonight between MASS Caesar and Mercutio!

[ana]Announcer: And welcome back to Anarchy where we honor this weeks special ANARCHIST OF THE WEEK!



Announcer: Yes, this week we honor one HARLEQUIN who last week bested Matthew P. Dunn.



Announcer: Thirty episodes of the Bozo the Clown show on DVD! Now Harlequin can relax and enjoy all the fun as Bozo the Clown teaches kids how to have fun and how to respect themselvs at the same time. Congratulations Harlequin![/ana]

Buster Cherry: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is a non-title, Ultraviolent Rules match. Introducing first, from Castlebar, Ireland. Weighing in tonight at 205 pounds…PUUUUUUUUUUUURE EXTREEEEEEEEMIST!

The stage becomes covered in a green fog that rolls down the entrance ramp as “Guerilla Radio” by Rage Against The Machine plays in the arena. Pure Extremist walks out onto the stage, looks around, and makes his way down to the ring.

Larsen: And PX is usually in a much better mood than this, but he seems to be all business tonight. He’s not smiling, shaking hands with the fans, or even taking his customary pre-match drink.

Morpheus: Maybe that’s because he finally realized he’s bitten off more than he can chew by fucking with HavOc.

Larsen: Or maybe he’s just a little preoccupied with his “Career vs Identity” Match that he’s got against The Voice at Catalyst.

Morpheus: Meh, I like my theory better. Why should he be worried about Elvis kicking his ass?

Larsen: What?

Morpheus: You heard me. I’d bet my next paycheck that Elvis is The Voice.

Larsen: You, sir, are an ass.

Morpheus: You’re mom’s an ass.

Buster: And his opponent. Hailing from Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada…



Buster:…weighing in tonight at 200 pounds. He is a member of HavOc and the FMW Ultraviolent Champion. The Denizen of Darkness…HAAAAAAAAAARLEQUIIIIIIIIIIIIN!

As the drums of Godsmack’s “Voodoo” kick in, Harlequin steps out on the stage with his ever-present smile on his face. He makes his way to the ring, locking eyes with Pure Extremist and not wavering.

Larsen: Man, this guy really gives me the creeps. Just that laugh is enough to nearly make me wet myself.

Morpheus: Nearly? That don’t smell like lemonade in your pants, sunshine.

Larsen: Oh, shut up.

Harlequin slides into the ring, and the referee takes the Ultraviolent championship (as well as Dirty Harry, much to Harlequin’s disappointment) and hands them both to the time keeper before calling for the bell.

Larsen: And there’s the bell to start the match. It’ll be very interesting to see how Pure Extremist does here, and if The Voice is watching and taking notes.

Morpheus: Of course he is. Elvis used to be a Boy Scout, so he’s always prepared.

Larsen: Will you stop saying that The Voice is Elvis? ELVIS IS DEAD!

Morpheus: You watch your mouth or I’ll tell Harlequin you said he’s a homo.

Larsen:…

Morpheus: That’s what I thought. PX and Harlequin sizing each other up, collar and elbow tie up in the middle of the ring, and PX puts Harley in a headlock. Harley pushes him off into the ropes, and drills PX into the mat with a power slam.

Larsen: Harlequin now going to the outside and grabbing a steel chair. He rolls back into the ring, only to get a stomp on the back from PX. PX stomps on him again, and Harlequin releases the chair. PX picks it up…

The lights suddenly go out in the arena



The lights come back up, and Harlequin is standing in front of Pure Extremist.

Morpheus: Man, what the hell was…and Harley kicks the chair right into PX’s face! Harlequin makes the cover, 1...2...kickout by PX

Larsen: Man, that was pretty creepy, the lights going out like that, and that laugh. And it ended up cutting off PX’s momentum. Harlequin now grabbing the chair again, and he slams it down on PX’s knee. Harley now waiting for PX to stand up…and nails PX in the head. Harlequin puts the open chair in the middle of the ring and picks PX up off the mat. Irish whip into the ropes, and a drop toe hold sends PX face-first into the chair. Harlequin with the cover again, 1...2...kickout by PX.

Morpheus: And Harley going back outside the ring. He’s rummaging under the ring for something…and he comes up with a trash can. And PX hit’s a baseball slide into the trash can, sending Harley back-first into the barricade and to the floor! What a bush-league move by PX.

Larsen: And PX is climbing up to the top turnbuckle, and he nails a 450 splash to the outside onto Harlequin! Not so bush-league there, huh? Both men slowly getting to their feet…IRISH ANNIHILATION ON THE TRASH CAN! PX going for the cover…what the fuck?!

Once again the lights in the arena go out, plunging everyone into darkness.



The lights come back on, and Harlequin has Pure Extremist up in the air in a vertical position.

Morpheus: AND HARLEY NAILS THE DEATH OF ZANNI! Right onto the floor! He hooks the leg, 1...2...KICK OUT?! How in the hell did Extremist kick out of that?

Larsen: That must have been purely out of instinct. Harlequin is getting a bit frustrated. He puts PX in a rear chin lock, jerking back on his head and neck, which can’t be feeling too good after all those chair shots and that powerbomb. The ref is checking on PX…and a fan at ringside just handed Harlequin a Louisville Slugger wrapped in barbed wire! What the hell is going on?!

Morpheus: That wasn’t any old fan, it was Chuckles! He’s actually making himself useful to Harley! Harley stalks over to PX, and he starts shredding PX’s forehead with the barbed wire! There’s blood everywhere! Extremist’s forehead is starting to look like chopped meat!

Larsen: I think I’m gonna be sick.

Morpheus: PX is slowly getting to his feet, and Harlequin drills him in the gut with the butt of the bat! PX is bent over, giving Harley the chance to crack him in the back of the head with the bat! He makes the cover again, 1...2...thrKICK OUT! Extremist fucking kicked out again!

Larsen: PX must be running on adrenaline now. Both men trading punches. PX with a kick to the gut, DDT! He reaches under the ring and starts throwing stuff in. There go a few trash cans and chairs. And PX adds a ladder to the mix. He opens up a chair on the floor, and gives Harlequin a double-arm DDT onto the chair! And now the Clown Prince of HavOc is busted open as well! PX rolls Harlequin into the ring, and he’s taking another chair in with him.

The lights go out again in the arena.

Larsen: This is really starting to piss me off!

Morpheus: Again?



The lights come back on, and Harlequin has PX up over his head.

Morpheus: And Harley drills Extremist into a chair with a gorilla press slam! Harley’s reaching down for him, and Extremist rolls him up into a small package! I can’t put my finger on it, but that laughing sounds really familiar.

Larsen: Is it your wife, like when you’d last all of 5 seconds in bed?

Morpheus: How did you…I mean, no, shut up.

Larsen: Harlequin now with an Irish whip into the ropes, goes for a hip toss, but PX blocks it and counters with a hip toss of his own. And what the hell is THIS now?

Morpheus: Chuckles just put a little bag of something in the corner, and PX caught him. He’s arguing with Chuckles…and Harley just clocked Extremist in the back of the head with the ladder! He drops it and makes the cover, 1...2...threKICK OUT! GOD DAMMIT!

Larsen: Harlequin arguing with the ref about a slow count, and he doesn’t see PX getting up! PX spins him around, kicks him in the gut, puts him in a headlock, and springboard bulldog off the second rope! PX opens up the ladder now and stands it up. He looks over at the bag that Chuckles put in the ring and grabs it. He’s opening it up now…and something inside is making him happy. He’s kicking Harlequin in the side now, moving him towards the outside. Wait, what the hell is in that bag? Is that…

Morpheus: It’s a bag of broken glass! What the hell!? He can’t do this! Extremist just picked up and body slammed Harley onto the broken glass! Why is Chuckles just sitting there?

Larsen: And PX now climbing the ladder! What the hell is he thinking? He’s at the very top! I think he’s going for the Death From Above!

Just as Pure Extremist leaps off the ladder, the lights go out again, and we hear the crunching of glass followed by a scream.



The lights come back on and we see Harlequin with a chair in hand standing over Pure Extremist, who is laying on the broken glass.

Larsen: Oh my god! That scream we heard must have been PX landing on the glass. And Harlequin is standing on his chest, pushing him deeper into the glass. This is just sick!

Morpheus: It’s brilliant, is what it is! Harley standing up, and he slams the chair into Extremist’s head! He steps off the runt, Irish whip into the ropes, PX ducks under the closeline, and nails Harley with a closeline of his own.

Larsen: Harlequin is quickly up, though, and he’s got PX in a vertical position. PX Manages to reverse it and get Harlequin vertical himself…JACKHAMMER ONTO THE LADDER! And now it’s Harlequin’s turn to scream as PX makes the cover, 1...2...and Harlequin kicks out.

Morpheus: Extremist now leaning a table against the corner. He’s propping Harley against the table and backing up to the opposite corner. He charges…AND SPEARS HARLEY RIGHT THROUGH THE TABLE! And both men are out of it! The referee starts counting…

1...

2...

3...

4...

Larsen: Both men are starting to stir. This match has taken a lot out of both of them, especially with all the blood loss.

5...

6...

Larsen: PX is on one knee, and pulling himself up by the ropes.

7...

Morpheus: And Harley now pulling himself up slowly but surely.

8...

9...

Before the ref can finish counting, the lights go out.

Larsen: Oh, for fuck’s sake!



The lights come back on, and Harlequin has Pure Extremist in a half nelson.

Morpheus: AND HARLEY NAILS THE PALE RIDER! This has to be the end of it. Harley making the cover, 1...2...threKICK OUT?! WHAT THE HELL?

Larsen: And PX is still showing some fight in him! Harlequin picks him up, and nails him with another Pale Rider! He makes the cover again and hooks the leg for good measure, 1...2...AND PX KICKS OUT AGAIN!

Morpheus: This guy is really starting to piss me off. I can just imagine how Harley feels! He picks Extremist off the mat, and nails him with a third Pale Rider! 1...2...KICK OUT AGAIN! This place just about exploded! I can’t believe it!

Larsen: Neither can Harlequin! He’s grabbing PX by the face, and it looks like he’s saying “Why don’t you just DIE already.” He picks PX up, and hits him once more with the Pale Rider! Harlequin makes the cover, 1...2...3!

Buster: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner…HAAAAAAAARLEQUIIIIIIIIN

Harlequin (8.2 aps + 1.9 avs = 10.1 total)
Pure Extremist (8.11 aps + 0.7 avs = 8.81 total)

Morpheus: And here comes The Celt rushing to the ring, but I think it’s a little too late for him to try and save his brother.

Just as The Celt reaches the ring, the lights go out.



The lights come back on, and we see several masked goons surrounding the ring and blocking The Celt from entering.

You think you can just save this runt? He has been judged, you insect, and thusly must be punished. Harlequin, do it again.

Larsen: So it was The Voice all along that was screwing with Pure Extremist. And Harlequin is more than happy to oblige as he nails PX with another Pale Rider.

Relax, Celt. You have the best seat in the house for your brother’s pretrial. And at Catalyst, I will finish the job. Harlequin, again.

Harlequin pulls Pure Extremist to his feet, slaps him in the face a few times, then hits him with another Pale Rider, as The Celt looks on.

Again, Harlequin.

Larsen: This is unbelievable. It’s sickening. Harlequin just drove PX into the glass again with another Pale Rider. Listen to his cackle! What kind of sick person gets a kick out of this!?

Morpheus: Coward, shmoward. It’s smart. He’s wearing Extremist down so that he’s not so tough at Catalyst.

You can leave now, Celt. His pretrial is over. But there will be much more punishment to come at Catalyst.

The Celt grudgingly leaves ringside as Harlequin slaps Pure Extremist a few more times before leaving the ring himself. EMT’s rush to the ring to help PX up as ring crewmen come in to sweep up the debris and clear the ring for the next match.



Voiceover: Ladies and gentlemen, it's the moment you've all been waiting for – FMW's CEO Jason Roy needs a new protégé, but who will it be? Tonight, we've landed in Oklahoma, and it's Alchemy's turn to audition for the position of heir to FMW's throne. Who will it be? Find out right now, this is JARO IDOL!!!!

This time the three judges, Judge Doom, Dalby Sound, and Jaro, sit at a table backstage in front of a large JARO IDOL Banner.

Jaro: (Using his robotic voice box) Send in the next peon.

Sound: You do have such a commanding tone when you proclaim your commands.

Jaro: Shut it nut licker.

The door opens and one Jack Eastwood makes his way into the room. He stands in silence for a few moments before someone speaks.

Judge Doom: I should drop a piano on this guy.

Sound: Jack Eastwood... wait, didn't you just lose a match like, last show?

Eastwood: Well, I-

Sound: No need to respond.

Jaro: Didn't you lose?

Eastwood: I-

Sound: Do not respond unless asked, dammit!

Eastwood: Sorry.

Sound: Now, what-

Suddenly the door flies open, crashing on the wall, as Butters rushes in, tears streaming down his cheeks. His eyes bloodshot from crying

Butters: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! JACK DONT DO IT! YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOURE GETTING YOURSELF INTO!

Eastwood: But, I-

Butters: YOU WERE BRAIN WASHED! THATS IT!

Butters rushes over to Eastwood and grabs him by the wrist.

Butters: HOW COULD YOU BRAINWASH THIS POOR YOUNG UPSTART! WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU! YOU ARE ALL SICK, SICK JERKS! COME ON EASTWOOD, I'LL GET YOU TO SAFETY!

Eastwood: But, I-

Butters doesn't let him finish as he grabs him and pulls him out of the room. The three judges look at each other in silence.

Jaro:...Homos.

[ana]The scene fades in from black as Veronica Cherrywood stands in front of the Anarchy Logo.

Cherrywood: Hello ladies and gentlemen, I'm Veronica Cherrywood backstage with-

The crowd pops as John Derrick walks into the shot. He takes the microphone from Cherrywood and shoos her off the set. He turns and looks directly in the camera as he speaks.

Derrick: A lot of people are talking about what Skyler Striker did to me at Alchemy last week. It seems that whenever I'm involved with something it instantly becomes the most important thing to ever hit the planet, but let me set the facts straight here. What Skyler Striker did was selfish and outlandish. He told himself he was beneath me, believeing what everyone else said, and lashed out because he thought he was being oppressed. I did nothing of the sort and if anything grew to appreciate the kid as a friend and partner. Goes to show how paranoid people are in this industry...

Speaking of paranoid, isn't Scorpio one of the other potential choices in this match? Scorpio hasn't done lick since he won that belt and all his griping about not needing to prove himself just proves that he's unproven... the same goes for Smitten. Lets see if he can stand up to me when he's not using legal loopholes and face to face with me.

But I can't be thinking too far ahead into the future, because tonight I have to worry about Nick Bryson. Bryson talks a good smack, but I dont think he has what it takes to back it up. I know what you think I am, and let me tell. You’re an idiot. And aside from that you don’t know who I am. I’ll remind you that you have your job, the pleasure of speaking your mind on my time. I saved this company, not you. You are weak. Yet you lay claim to the spoils of victory, and tonight, much like then, you will fail.

"Doc" drops the microphone and walks off set.[/ana]

Larsen: For our next scheduled match, we are going to have a nice old Six man Tag Team match with lots of intrigue, scenarios, and emotion. At Anarchy 7.3 last week, Creative Control defeated Buggers to defend there TV Tag Titles. War Machine has made his return and has stated that he is back to make an impact and show Hollywood what they are missing. Jack Boice is on his quest to become GM and get himself back on track after losing to Caesar at Circus Maximus.

Morpheus: Let us not forget that the great one and the winner of the FIRST 15 Minute Massacre match, War Machine, will be in another installment of that match at Catalyst! And he has two participants, the annoying Jack Boice and the never was Butters in that match as well. Here will be War Machine’s chance to put a hurting on those two!

Larsen: And you can never discount the presence of that snake T Ekstreme!

Morpheus: You obviously mean brilliance, Larsen! The man is brilliance personified!

Larsen: Right!

“Jet Black New Year” by Thursday blares on the PA. T Ekstreme comes out of the curtain, a plastic bag in his hand. Creative Control comes out and flanks him as all three men walk down the aisle. T Ekstreme reaches into his bag and starts to throw “Vote Ekstreme” buttons at the crowd. The crowd then starts to pelt Ekstreme and Creative Control with the buttons! Angered, Ekstreme reaches into the bag and starts to hurl garbage at the fans, than high tails it to the ring with Creative Control.

Cherry: The following match is a Six man tag Match, scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, at a combined weight of 470 pounds! They are accompanied to the ring by there manager, T Ekstreme! They are the FMW Television Tag Team Champions! SLEGNADAMUS! STEVE-E TAYLOR! This is CREATIVE CONTROL!

“Ladies and Gentlemen” by Saliva blares on the PA as the lights in the arena go out and search lights sweep the crowd as the song starts playing. When the drums kick in, there is an explosion of flame on the entrance ramp, and the search lights zero in on War Machine standing on the stage. He makes his way to the ring, ignoring the boos from the audience and acting as if there hate is actually jealous. He climbs the turnbuckle and poses to the crowd.

Cherry: And there partner, from Camden, New Jersey! He weighs in tonight at 270 pounds! He is a former Ultraviolent Champion and one of the original fathers of FMW! This is “The Human Weapon” WAR MACHINE!

“Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)” by The Offspring blares on the PA as Jack Boice walks down the ramp with Butters and The Notorious BUG walking behind him. For once, Boice is fully clothed, but is throwing campaign stickers and buttons to the crowd which read “Vote for change, Vote for Mr Happy”, which the crowd takes willingly! T Ekstreme does not like this and grabs a button from a little boy in the audience and stomps on it in front of him, making him cry. Boice and Buggers go to confront Ekstreme, who runs to the safety of Creative Control and War Machine. Buggers and Jack Boice enter the ring and salute the crowd.

Cherry: There opponents for the night, weighing in at a combined weight of over 600 pounds! The team of former FMW Television Champion, JACK BOICE! The NOTORIOUS BUG! And BUTTERS!

Butters is held back by BUG and Boice at the mention of being called Butters, but calms down after Boice mentions that maybe Mr. Happy will cheer him up. War Machine enters the ring and motions for someone to step into the ring with him. Butters volunteers to start first and stands in the center of the ring with War Machine.

Larsen: It will be War Machine and Butters starting this match off! Talk about a mismatch!

Morpheus: You can say that again, Larsen! Butters should be pissing on himself right now!

Larsen: Butters wants the tough challenges though, and he is showing that want by volunteering to go against the War Machine! Collar and elbow tie up in the center of the ring! War Machine with a big scoop slam to Butters! And he holds his back as he looks up at War Machine, who laughs at the ease in which he accomplished that.

Morpheus: War Machine is a beast! Simple as that!

Larsen: Another collar and elbow tie up! Arm wringer by War Machine! Butters rolls out of it and hits War Machine with an forearm shot to the face! Butters runs toward War Machine at full force and tries the shoulder block!

Morpheus: And Butters fails to the floor from the impact while War Machine is still on his feet! That is the impressive strength and conditioning of the first Ultraviolent Champion!

Butters gets up and again tries to run at War Machine, but War Machine dodges Butters attempt at a clothsline. War Machine runs toward the ropes and hits Butters with a forceful Shoulder block takedown. He picks Butters up and hits him with a vertical suplex. He holds on, rolls over and lifts Butters up. He holds him up for 15 seconds before he drops him down with the delayed Vertical Suplex. Butters holds his back in pain as War Machine poses.

Morpheus: War Machine is showing his prowess and his skill on the out matched Butters!

Larsen: Indeed! War Machine is certainly showing that he is more than just a brawler! Butters is struggling to get up, but gets helped up by War Machine, who promptly clubs him with a forearm in his back! Irish whip by War Machine! Tilt a Whirl Backbreaker by the War Machine! And Butters is in a world of hurt!

Morpheus: I think Butters is probably reassessing his decision to lock horns with the First winner of the 15 Minute Massacre and the First Ultraviolent Champion!

Larsen: Indeed. Irish whip again by War Machine! Tilt a whirl…head scissors by BUTTERS! War Machine is shocked! He runs toward Butters, who rolls out of the way and tags in The Notorious BUG!

War Machine tries to punch BUG, but BUG blocks and counters with a punch of his own. Him and Butters Irish whip War Machine into the corner. BUG comes with a Vader Splash, which knocks War Machine down. BUG then runs toward Butters, who he Irish whips into War Machine. Butters nails War Machine with a Cannonball Senton in the corner. War Machine looks dazed in the corner.

Larsen: What impact by Butters! BUG and Butters pick War Machine up again. Irish whip to the ropes! Kick to the gut of War Machine by Butters! BUG with a Bulldog! BUG locks in the camel clutch! Butters running the ropes like an Olympic sprinter! Baseball slide dropkick to the face of War Machine! And the Buggers Team celebrates there work!

Morpheus: They better pay more respect to The Human Weapon! That little flurry hardly fazed him!

Larsen: BUG lifts War Machine up and Irish Whips him into the corner! He Irish whips Butters into the corner toward War Machine! And War Machine dodges and Butters crashes into the corner! BUG charges toward War Machine!

Morpheus: Who decapitates BUG with a vicious running Yakuza Kick! He turns around! Butters gets a vicious running Yakuza kick of his own while he is prone in the corner! I told you they shouldn’t have disrespected War Machine!

Larsen: War Machine back in this! BUG gets up slowly! German Suplex by War Machine! Butters walks toward War Machine in a daze and tries to hit him with a right hand! Uranage Suplex by War Machine! Cover on Butters! 1! 2! Kick out by Butters! He moves toward BUG! Cover! 1! 2! Kickout by BUG! Forearm shot to BUG by War Machine! Cover on BUG again! 1! 2! Kickout by BUG again! And War Machine looks frustrated!

War Machine walks to his corner and tags in Steve-E Taylor and walks out of the ring and up the ramp, red in the face and swearing as he walks up the ramp. Steve-E and Slegnadamus look up at him puzzled! T Ekstreme walks close to the ramp and starts asking loud what is going on! Steve-E Taylor turns around and gets forearmed by BUG. BUG Irish Whips Steve-E Taylor to the ropes and picks him up for a sidewalk slam. Butters grabs Steve-E’s head and Buggers delivers a Sidewalk Slam/Reverse DDT combo on Steve-E.

Larsen: War Machine left them and in the confusion it allowed Buggers to regain there composure and take out Steve-E Taylor!

Morpheus: Cheaters! Attacking a guy from behind!

Larsen: BUG lays the boots on Steve-E! He picks him up off the ground! Belly to Belly suplex by BUG! He climbs to the second turnbuckle. Knee drop from the Second turnbuckle by BUG! Cover! 1! 2! Kickout by Steve-E! Buggers is in control!

T Ekstreme walks up to the apron and distracts the referee as BUG Irish whips Steve-E to the ropes. Steve-E reverses and BUG gets sent to the ropes, where he is kicked in the back by Slegnadamus! Slegna enters the ring and gives BUG a hard kick to the body, than dropkicks him. BUG is up on one knee as Steve-E nails a Shining Wizard in front of BUG while Slegna nails a Shining Wizard to the back of BUG’s head!

Larsen: Tandem Shining Wizards by the Television Tag Team Champs! Steve-E tags in Slegna and T Ekstreme is continuing his distraction of the ref! Low Blow by Steve-E! What a dirty tactic!

Morpheus: It is only dirty if the ref sees it! Brilliant I say! They follow the low blow up with a hard kick to the face by Slegnadamus, sending BUG flat on his face! Slegna grabs BUG! And he locks him into the Sixth Chakra! Steve-E to the TOP!

Larsen: Shooting Star Press! They just nailed the “Reloaded” on BUG! Steve-E walks out of the ring as Slegnadamus gives BUG a lackadaisical cover! 1! 2! Kickout by BUG! And Slegna can’t believe it! He grabs BUG and runs to the ropes! He goes for a step up enziguri! BUG ducks it! Slegna gets up…Complete Shot by BUG! Both men are down! BUG rolls to his corner! And he tags in Boice!

Jack Boice enters the ring and fires a straight right hand that knocks down Slegnadamus! Steve-E Taylor enters the ring and tries to attack Boice, but Boice counters with a RYU uppercut on Steve-E! Slegna gets up again and Boice Irish whips him to the ropes and nails him with a running Spear! Steve-E gets up slowly as Boice kicks him in the stomach! He lifts up Steve-E and delivers a devastating brainbuster. Boice sees T Ekstreme complaining to the referee again in the corner and gives him a hard right hand that sends him flipping to the arena floor. The crowd starts to chant “Mr Happy” as Boice starts to pose and salute the crowd.

Larsen: Boice is a house on fire! He has cleared the ring of Creative Control and gave T Ekstreme a shot that I am sure everyone in this crowd wanted to do!

Morpheus: That Hoodlum! And he wants to be a man in authority! How dare he strike T. Ekstreme! And Ekstreme appears to be hurt badly on the outside!

Larsen: Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy!

Morpheus: You are a pig, Larsen!

T Ekstreme weakly calls the ref over to him, saying he is in tremendous pain. The ref comes to check on him as Boice is setting Steve-E up for a Jackpot! As he is about to climb the top rope, Slegnadamus comes from behind and nails Boice with a broom handle from under the ring. Slegna starts to trash talk with the fans, not noticing that the weapon’s shot barely fazed Boice and has seemed to have made him snap. Slegna turns around a gets planted with a vicious STO by Jack Boice.

Larsen: Weapon shot attempt by Slegnadamus does no good, as Boice was unfazed by it!

Morpheus: I’ll say! And there is something in his eye that makes me fear for the safety of young Steve-E Taylor and Slegnadamus!

Larsen: Steve-E is helping Slegnadamus up! He seems to be trying to rally the troops. Both men charge toward Jack Boice, who dodges! Springboard moonsault by Boice…and he floats it over into a double reverse DDT on Creative Control! Steve-E gets up slowly! Running Blockbuster by Boice! Slegna gets up afterward and is looking dazed! He turns around! Bloodrush DDT! And Boice drags both men into the center of the ring!

Morpheus: What is this crazed mad man doing? Where is War Machine?

Larsen: He runs to the ropes! TEMPER TANTRUM on both men! He covers both men! 1! 2! 3! It is over!

Cherry: The winner of this match, JACK BOICE, BUTTERS, and the NOTORIOUS BUG!

Jack Boice, Butters, and Notorious B.U.G. (8.2 aps - 0.1 penalty + 0.0 aps + 7.75 aps + 2.1 avs = 17.95 total)
War Machine, Slegnadamus, and Steve-E Taylor (7.7 aps - 0.2 penalty + 7.7 aaps + 0.0 aps + 0.0 aps + 0.3 avs = 15.5 total)

After the match, Boice grabs the broom handle that Slegna used on him and smacks Slegna across the back with it. T Ekstreme comes to stop Boice, but gets a shot to the gut than a blow to the back by Boice. Boice sees Steve-E Taylor moving around. Boice breaks the broom in half and takes the sharp edge and starts to gouge Steve-E in the forehead and eyes!

Larsen: What is Boice doing? What has made him snap? BOICE, Mr Happy, remember?

Morpheus: Something Slegnadamus did with that broom set him off! This is a side of Boice that I have never seen before!

Larsen: And he keeps digging at the forehead of Steve-E, who is screaming in agony! Here is Butters! He plus Boice off of Steve-E and holds Boice back, with the help of BUG! Slegnadamus drags Steve-E out of the ring and rips the shirt off of a fan in the crowd to stop the bleeding.

Morpheus: I knew that Boice was unstable and a borderline retard, but that violent side of him is something that I have never seen before!

Larsen: It begs the question, “should Harlequin be concerned over this?” If Harlequin has to face this side of Jack Boice, I may actually have sympathy for the sadistic madman of HaVoc!

[ana]Backstage the members of HaVoc, Harlequin, Syanide, and Hannibal Frost, are chumming around backstage.

Syanide: I can't believe they're going to waste your time with a match against the Celt.

Harlequin holds up his Action Figure.

Harlequin: (in a high pitched voice) Well Syanide, they want the ratings, and people love to see the Celt bleeding in a heap! Tee-hee-hee!

Frost: What he said. This is a joke.

Suddenly a small click is heard in the distance as the door opens and Mercutio shuffles into the room, cards in one hand and a bottle in a paper bag in the other.

Mercutio: Oh... hello gang! I just... just wanted to give you these!

He hands them all the pieces of paper.

Syanide: What is this?

Mercutio: Its the invitation to the "I Just Won the TV Title But In Case I Didn't, Let's Drown My Sorrows in Booze" Party, yaaaaay!

Frost: Whats with the booze, Mercutio?

Mercutio: Shh! It keeps Andrew away.

Frost: What?

Mercutio: What?

Frost: I said whats with the booze?

Mercutio: Whats with that silly hat?

Harlequin: It is a silly hat!

Syanide: I think its match time, Frost. Lets roll.[/ana]

Larsen: And now a match that could easily become a street fight! For the last few months the war between any combination of HavOc and PX and The Celt has been brutal and violent! But the Irish youngsters have more than held their own against the brutality and experience of the members of HavOc!

Morpheus: Losing all the time doesn’t mean they are getting better! It doesn’t matter how “close” they are, they still can’t get over the hump! Especially The Celt!

Larsen: And The Celt has a huge test tonight, as he has to face the always dangerous Hannibal Frost! And with Syanide at his side and the hellacious beating PX took, The Celt is going to have to go this alone!

Morpheus: All the more reason for him to be able to gain a victory! He is just walking into the killing fields, strolling to his mercy killing at the hands of “The Harbinger of HavOc!”


A police siren blares in the background as “The Warrior’s Code" by The Dropkick Murphy’s blasts on the PA. The Celt comes walking down the ramp, holding up his arm and high fiving the crowd. He climbs the turnbuckle and leads the crowd to chant the end of the chorus “The Warrior’s Code!” The Celt stands right in the center of the ring and stands in position, staring at the entranceway.


Larsen: The Celt has a look of determination and anger in his eyes! He really wants to put a beating on any member of HavOc!

Morpheus: Too bad he is going against a hard man to beat!


“Reborn” by StoneSour blares on the PA as the crowd starts to loudly boo the members of HavOc. Syanide walks down the ramp first, trash talking the fans and making a throat slash gesture toward the Celt as Hannibal Frost makes his way toward the ring, slowly and methodically. He ignores the crowds’ taunts and jeers and enters the ring and removes his hat, as the ref holds The Celt back.


Cherry: This match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Castlebar, Ireland. He weighs in tonight at 214 lbs. He is “The Law!” This is THE CELT! His opponent for the evening, accompanied to the ring by Former FMW Television Champion Syanide! From Memphis, Tennessee! Weighing in at 234 lbs. He is “The Harbinger of HavOc!” This is HANNIBAL FROST!

Larsen: And with the ringing of the bell, this match is now under way. The Celt is circling the ring, itching to get a shot at Hannibal Frost.


Before they lock up, Syanide tries to trip up The Celt, than goes on the apron. The Celt punches Syanide off the apron, which gives time for Hannibal Frost to nail an ax handle smash to the back of The Celt. He Irish whips The Celt to the ropes and attempts a clothesline. The Celt ducks and rebounds with a running forearm to the face of Hannibal Frost. Frost slides out of the ring to collect himself as The Celt taunts him.


Larsen: HavOc attempted to insert themselves in the match early and The Celt was prepared and outwitted them!

Morpheus: He got lucky! It was a simple mistake, a mistake that Hannibal Frost will not make twice!

Larsen: Hannibal Frost makes his way back into the ring and moves slowly toward the center of the ring! Collar and elbow tie up by both men! And The Celt muscles Hannibal into the ropes! He motions to punch, but Hannibal goes under the ring ropes to make the ref back Celt off, which he does!

Morpheus: Smart move by Hannibal!

Larsen: Collar and elbow tie up again! And The Celt again muscles Hannibal to the ropes! And he ducks under again to make the ref back Celt away!


As The Celt is being held by the ref, Hannibal moves quickly and nails The Celt with a running back elbow. He picks The Celt up quickly and roughly scoop slams him. The Celt slowly gets up from the scoop slam, only to get nailed with a clothesline backbreaker by Hannibal!


Larsen: And Hannibal capitalized from his fake and has gained the upper hand so far!

Morpheus: The Celt was just trying to out muscle Hannibal! Hannibal outwitted him! And now he has focused on The Celt’s back!

Larsen: The Celt is slowly getting up now. Hannibal with a right to the face. Hannibal with an Irish whip! Tilt a whirl sideslam! And he turns the Celt around and locks in a camel clutch!

Morpheus: Brilliant hold, especially since he is applying it with his knee to the back of The Celt!

Larsen: The Celt is close to the ropes, though! He reaches! Syanide tries to pull the ropes back, but the ref catches him and sends him back! The Celt grabs the ropes! The ref counts to four as Hannibal finally releases the hold! And The Celt’s back is in pain!


Morpheus: Hannibal lifts up The Celt and Irish Whips him again! He lifts The Celt up for a Spinebuster, but The Celt counters it into a monkey flip! Hannibal gets up and attempts to clothesline The Celt! The Celt ducks! And a Kempo Dragon Kick to Hannibal, which puts him on one knee!


The Celt goes to the corner and taps his knee to the crowd. He runs full force toward Hannibal Frost and nails him with the Castlebar Kiss! The Celt lifts up Hannibal and Irish Whips him into the corner! He runs toward Hannibal and nails him with the Impalement, causing Hannibal to clutch his chest and walk away from the turnbuckle. The Celt quickly goes up top and nails Hannibal with a Mushroom stomp onto the neck of Hannibal Frost.


Larsen: The Celt with a series of maneuvers that takes Hannibal Frost down! The cover!

1…

2…

Larsen: Kickout at two by Hannibal Frost!

Morpheus: All those fancy moves and he still couldn’t get the job done? Hannibal has this one in the bag!

Larsen: The Celt lifts up Hannibal and nails him with a right hand. The Celt runs toward the ropes! Forearm to the back by Syanide! Hannibal is up and attempts a clothesline! The Celt ducks! Kick to the gut…and another snap suplex by The Celt on Hannibal! He is motioning to the turnbuckles!


The Celt runs toward the corner and leaps up and attempts the Aire Eire, but Hannibal Frost moves out of the way, causing The Celt to land hard on his stomach. The Celt slowly gets up, holding his chest. Hannibal Frost kicks The Celt in the stomach and nails him with a Doctor Bomb.


Larsen: Doctor Bomb by Hannibal! The Cover!

1…

2…

Larsen: Kickout by The Celt! Hannibal tries to cover The Celt again, placing his elbow across the face of The Celt, but the Celt kicks out quickly!

Morpheus: The Celt keeps showing why he is all brawn and no brains! This is why they will always fail against HavOc!

Larsen: Hannibal Irish whips The Celt to the ropes, but he counters. The Celt with a forearm shot to the face of Hannibal!

Morpheus: Hannibal rebounds off the ropes from the shot! And he plants The Celt with a big lariat that knocks The Celt head over heels! Both men are down!

Larsen: Both men are giving it there all in this contest! This is not about respect! They are both trying to decapitate each other!


Hannibal slowly gets up and lifts up The Celt, who is limp after the vicious lariat. Hannibal throws The Celt into the corner and delivers a number of hard knife edge chops to the chest of The Celt and then adds a throat thrust, which causes the Celt to start choking. Hannibal takes the Celt out of the corner and delivers a pendulum backbreaker, than clamps in another camel clutch, this time in the center of the ring.


Larsen: And this time Hannibal Frost has the Celt in the center of the ring with that camel clutch! He is wrenching it in tight!

Morpheus: He has him now! Wrench harder, Mr. Frost! Break the Mick’s back!

Larsen: Pardon?


Hannibal releases the hold and picks the Celt up. He clubs him in the back a number of times than throws him in the corner. He lifts him up and places him on the top turnbuckle. Hannibal hooks The Celt up and looks for a top rope Fisherman Hook Brainbuster, but the Celt fights out of it. Hannibal headbutts The Celt and again attempts the Brainbuster, but the Celt fights out of it again. The Celt forearms Hannibal multiple times than takes him down with a Celtic Cutter, taking both men out.


Larsen: Celtic Cutter by The Celt! And both men are out!

Morpheus: What the hell is going on? How the hell did Paddy get back into this?

Larsen: What the fu…

Morpheus: Language, Larsen!


1!

2!

3!

4!

5!

6!


Larsen: Both men are slowly getting up! And they are exchanging fists!

Morpheus: I hope Hannibal has a strategy for this! Trading fists with The Celt is not exactly advisable!

Larsen: And they are slowly exchanging fists! Hannibal starts to gain the upper hand. Right hand! And another! Hannibal is motioning for the Freezer Burn!

Morpheus: This thing is done! Book it! Bring out the champagne and cue the band! Hannibal is taking this one for HavOc again!

Larsen: Kick to the stomach by Hannibal! Freezer Burn! NO! The Celt with a hurricanrana to counter! Hannibal gets up and regains his composure! CASTLEBAR CLEAVER by The Celt! Hannibal has now been turned head over heels!

Morpheus: NO! This can’t happen! Syanide, help Hannibal!

Larsen: Looks like he listened to you, Morph! Syanide is climbing the apron and trying to enter the ring, but the ref is holding him back! Forearm by The Celt, and Syanide goes down! Syanide gets up…and The Celt takes him out with a wild Cannonball senton that sends Syanide crashing into the barricade! Syanide is out of the picture! This is now a true one on one affair!

Morpheus: Attacking a man that was trying to ask the ref a question! What a hoodlum!

Larsen: The Celt slides into the ring…and gets a sliding dropkick to the face! He is setting The Celt up for the Ice Pick!


Hannibal sees the Celt stand up and starts to run toward him. The Celt sees this and hits Hannibal with a drop toe hold that stops his momentum. He motions to the crowd that he is going to finish Hannibal and lifts him to the top turnbuckle. Hannibal counters and goes for a tombstone piledriver from the top rope, but The Celt counters and turns it into the Eternal Driver.


Larsen: THE ETERNAL DRIVER! Hannibal is out! The Celt slowly crawls toward Hannibal! The cover!


Morpheus: NO! This isn’t possible!


1!

2!

3!

Larsen: This one is over! What an upset!

Cherry: The winner of the match! THE CELT!

The Celt (8.12 aps + 1.6 avs = 9.72 total)
Hannibal Frost (8.1 aps - 0.1 penalty + 0.6 avs = 8.6 total)


Larsen: What an upset by The Celt! He gutted out this victory by surviving the numbers…what the hell is Syanide doing!


As The Celt is getting up, Syanide enters the ring and spears The Celt and starts to punch him in the face! The Celt fights back and mounts Syanide and starts returning punches to Syanide. Hannibal starts to get up and stumbles toward The Celt, who starts to rain punches to the face of Hannibal. As Hannibal is draped over the ropes and The Celt is ready to deliver more punishment to Hannibal, Syanide turns The Celt around and nails him with the Arrowhead Shot, sending the Celt sprawling to the floor. Syanide and the wobbly Hannibal Frost start to stomp on The Celt!

Larsen: This is totally unnecessary!

Morpheus: This is a receipt! This is the receipt for these two bastards sticking their noses where they are not wanted!

Larsen: And Syanide is bringing a chair to the ring!

Morpheus: The Message will soon be sent!

Larsen: They are placing the neck of The Celt in between the chair. Hannibal Frost is slowly going up top! Someone needs to stop this!

Morpheus: Why? This is going to be a fun lesson in how to get rid of annoying pests!


As Hannibal Frost still struggles to get up to the top rope, Pure Extremist comes out of the curtain, limping to the ring with a barbed wire wrapped shillelagh in his hand.

Larsen: Here is Pure Extremist to save the day!

Morpheus: Some savior! He can barely stand on his own two feet! Hannibal and Syanide see him and allow him to enter the ring! They know an easy target when they see one!

Larsen: PX is attempting to fight them off! He swings the shillelagh wildly to keep both men at bay!

Morpheus: That is just too sad for words! He sadly tries to it at Syanide, but misses! Time for a new FMW production, “The Death of an Irishmen!”


As Syanide and Hannibal stalk PX, The Celt grabs the shillelagh and nails Syanide in the back with a shot from the barbed wire wrapped shillelagh.


Larsen: The Celt is back up and has that weapon in his hand! Syanide quickly rolls out of the ring! Shot to the chest of Hannibal! And a shot to the back! The Celt is in a fury! He swings for the head of Hannibal Frost, but Hannibal is saved by Syanide, who drags him out of the ring! Both men head up the ramp as The Celt and Pure Extremist stand on the turnbuckles facing the entrance way! The Celt raises his weapon and taunts HavOc!

Morpheus: An action he will dearly regret in the future! He got lucky tonight! Lighting won’t strike again! I guarantee it!

Larsen: The Celt gains the upper hand with his shocking victory over Hannibal Frost and gets a one up on HavOc!







The scene fades into the table again as Jaro, Dalby Sound, and Judge Doom await their next victim... err, contestant. The door clicks open and in walks Matthew P. Dunn.

Jaro:(using his robotic voice box) Isn't the cosplay convention down the hall?

Dunn: Good one, ass.

Dalby: What makes you think you're good enough to be called the next Jaro Idol.

Dunn: Judging by the last batch of people, I doubt that title is very complicated to earn.

Jaro: Can you sing?

Dunn: What?

Jaro: Clearly you lack basic hearing capabilities. Thats minus points.

Dalby: The man asked if you can sing.

Dunn: What does singing have to do with anything?

Dalby: Maybe its a secret test? Did you think of that.

Dunn: I'm not your bitch or your lackey, I'm not singing a damn song.

Judge Doom: SING A SONG OR DIE

Dunn: No, I refuse to sing a song. I wont stoop to these low ass levels.

Jaro: Then I refuse to continue

Dunn: Fine. Fine. Heres a song.

Dunn clears his throat

Dunn: The raiiiiiin in Spain falls mainly on the plains!

Jaro: So you can't sing.

Dalby: You should have just said so.

Jaro: Tell me about this moron, Dalby.

Dalby: He's won the tag belt a few times, though his current partner wants to slit his throat. He's also got a few impressive pins, but generally he's a tag team guy through and through.

Dunn: I also was hosting Anxiety and have dominated virtually every opponent I've faced.

Jaro: Also starving for attention. Put that down.

Sound: Right.

Dunn: Hey, I-

Jaro: Shut your mouth before I whip it out and put my body fluids in it. You think just because my arms are burnt to the levels of a KFC chicken I can't jerk it off? I dont need to I can control that with my mind you peon.

Dunn: Thats disgusting.

Jaro: You're disgusting. Get the hell out of my stage, god dammit. GO!

Dunn flips off the judges as he exits the room.

[ana]Backstage Eric Scorpio sits in his locker room, taping up his wrists in preparation for tonights match when his door clicks open and C.G.Smitten walks in the room, belt around his shoulder.

Scorpio: Fancy seeing you here.

Smitten: Likewise. Its been a while since we've had the pleasure of these formalities.

Scorpio: Yeah, it really has. The Original Sin days were good times.

Smitten: Indeed. Do you remember when we went out and set Nick Bryson on fire?

Scorpio: Hah, that was a good one. I remember that one pretty well. Its hard to forget the scent of burning flesh. Do you remember when we crucified them too?

Smitten: Another great moment in FMW history.

Scorpio: Or when we tricked Bryson into thinking his cousin hit him on the head with a pipe!?

Smitten: Remember? Hah, I was the one that did it!

The two share a hearty laugh for a few moments.Smitten wiped a tear from his eye

Scorpio: And do you remember when the Resistance came out through the crowd and demolished us?

Smitten: Yeah... I guess...

Scorpio: And when Nick Bryson pinned me after I won my championship?

Smitten: Yes, I do...

Scorpio: Or how they set fire to Jaro? Or how no matter how much we did we couldn't break their spirits? And how we failed to get the job done?

Smitten: I dont exactly call this happy memories, Eric.

Scorpio: Exactly. Its those memories that I keep. Its those memories that drive me to sleepless nights, to empty days. Its those memories that fuel my hatred for these fans and these people back here.

Smitten: I see...

Scorpio: Don't you see? We're never going to do enough. We're never going to be enough. We'll never get respect from these people back here or out there no matter how much we sacrifice for it, which is why I respect you. I respect you because you and I? We have the same struggle. We're in this together and theres nobody that will be able to stop us, no matter how many bodies they throw into the fray.

Smitten: I see what you are getting at, Eric... and I agree with what you are saying. I, too, know that feeling...

Scorpio: So, tonight, lets hold nothing back. Lets prove to them once and for all that WE are the spine of this company. That WE are the work horses that keep this place running. Not Bryson, not Skyler, not Doc, but US and why we TAKE what we deserve?

Smitten stands and pauses for a moment, eyeing his title belt around his shoulder.

Smitten: You are exactly right, my old friend.

The two shake hands.

Smitten: Tonight, lets make them see what they refuse to.

The two exit the room and the scene cuts to the ring.[/ana]



Cherry: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the FMW Television Championship! Introducing first, from Halifax, Nova Scotia, he is the challenger… MERCUTIO!

Fuck You (An Ode To No One) by the Smashing Pumpkins sounds out from the PA system as Mercutio comes down to the ring, brandishing Louis. Sliding into the ring, he climbs the turnbuckle and shouts to the crowd, motioning to his waist while mouthing ‘new champ’.

Larsen: Welcome back to Anarchy, viewers! Next on tonight’s card, we have a Television title match between the champ, MASS Caesar, and HavOc’s own Mercutio!

Morpheus: This should be an excellent match, Mercutio’s always been a fighter, and Caesar, well, he’s just a fucking nutjob. I want to see these two idiots beat the crap out of each other.

Larsen: This isn’t Ultraviolent, you know.

Morpheus: It may as well be with these two in the ring.

Cherry: And the reigning Television Champion, from Rome, Italy, he is… MASS CAESAR!

The Might of Rome from the Gladiator soundtrack hits as MASS Caesar makes his way to the ring, led by his usual menagerie of flower girls strewing rose petals at his feet. Unusually for the Emperor, rather than forcing his slaves to carry him, he has insisted that his Television title be carried on a golden platter by his lead servant, Mercury. The rest of his servants nervously clutch at the chains of lions, who seem gaunt and uncontrollable as they glance about the arena furtively. The crowd shows their disdain for the TV champ by booing loudly.

Larsen: Um, I don’t think Caesar’s been treating his lions properly… they look as if they could eat somebody…

Morpheus: Well, let’s hope it’s you.

Larsen: Yeah, maybe at least that way I wouldn’t have to endure anymore of your asinine comments.

Morpheus: See what you did there, you made me miss the start of the match, asshole. Mercutio and Caesar going at it from the off, Mercutio has Caesar in a lock-up, but Caesar breaks it and shoves Mercutio away. Mercutio stumbles and lapses in the corner.

Larsen: Caesar backs up and turns, looks like he’s going for a splash on Mercutio… but Mercutio moves at the last second and Caesar tastes turnbuckle! Ouch.

Morpheus: He turns round, swaggering a little… and walks right into Mercutio’s waiting enzuigiri! That head’s got to be feeling woozy now.

Larsen: Woozy?

Morpheus: Shut up. Mercutio locks Caesar in, takes him over for the German suplex. He then climbs the turnbuckle… I think he’s going for his rounding frog splash! Yes, he hits!

Larsen: Mercutio for the cover… one, tw- kickout by Caesar. A bit early in the match for the pin, don’t you think?

Morpheus: Who cares, Mercutio’s part of HavOc, they can do what they want.

Larsen: You’re rooting for Mercutio? I thought you were a Caesar fan.

Morpheus: I was, but he’s come one time too close to nearly lopping my head off with that sword of his for me to cheer for him anymore.

Larsen: Caesar puts Mercutio in a headlock, wearing away at the jester… but Mercutio wraps his leg around Caesar’s and sends him down for a DDT counter!

Morpheus: Mercutio approaches the fallen Emperor, but Caesar quickly rolls to his knees and delivers a stunning low blow! He was playing possum all this time! Mercutio falls to his knees!

Larsen: Caesar gets up now, as the ref admonishes him for his behaviour… can you believe this? Caesar’s got the nerve to say he didn’t know that Mercutio was there! Disgraceful!

Morpheus: It’s just common sense, Larsen. Caesar’s eyes were on the ground, there was no way he could have known Mercutio was there!

Larsen: You’ve certainly changed your tune quickly…

Morpheus: Eh, a little from Column A, a little from Column B.

Larsen: Caesar takes his chance on the kneeling Mercutio, runs at him, and connects with the Shining Wizard… doesn’t he? He seems to be suspended next to Mercutio’s head!

Morpheus: That’s because Mercutio’s got a hold on him! He gets to his feet, holding Caesar on his shoulders, I think he might be going for a sitout powerbomb…

Larsen: …but Caesar counteracts it with a hurricanrana that throws Mercutio across the ring! Very stiff back-and-forth action here!

Morpheus: Caesar walks over to the prone Mercutio, goes for the cover… one, two- not enough.

Larsen: Caesar then drags Mercutio up by his head, but Mercutio catches him with a quick jab to the gut! Caesar’s been winded!

Morpheus: And Mercutio takes advantage of this as he locks up MASS Caesar’s head. He pulls him to the corner, is he going to perform the Crossed Wires?

Larsen: No! Mercutio flips over, using the turnbuckle for leverage, and slams Caesar’s head back down with shocking force! What a brutal display!

Morpheus: He’s not a member of HavOc for nothing.

Larsen: Mercutio drapes Caesar’s head over the ropes, he’s got his hands on the top rope and pushing with both feet on the back of Caesar’s neck, choking the life out of him!

Morpheus: Yes! Go on, have at it!

Larsen: Settle down, you’re scaring the children. And the ref comes over and has to rip Mercutio off of Caesar! Good job too!

Morpheus: No! Let them fight!

Larsen: What did I just say? Wait! As Mercutio argued with the ref over that, Caesar’s sneaked up behind him! He goes for the roll-up! One, two, th- so close!

Morpheus: Mercutio kicks out, but Caesar’s ready for it and grabs him! He hoists Mercutio onto his shoulders!

Larsen: The Last Imperator! But Caesar’s not done!

Morpheus: And neither’s Mercutio! He spears Caesar down!

Larsen: The Emperor is pulled to his feet, only to be thrown back with a vicious snap suplex! Is it me, or is Mercutio slowly gaining the edge in this battle?

Morpheus: It certainly seems that way, as he now grips Caesar's head and wrenches it down with a spin! Looked like a modified version of the Twist of Fate there! Mercutio with the cover! One, two, thr- no!

Larsen: I thought he had it that time! Mercutio pulls Caesar to his feet, who unleashes a wicked knife-edge chop in retaliation! But Mercutio's right back in there, and the two are trading chops in the centre of the ring!

Morpheus: Mercutio's got Caesar running now, backing him up towards the ropes! What's he got planned now?

Larsen: He runs back and bounces off the opposing ropes, looks like he's going to try and knock Caesar out with a stiff clothesline!

Morpheus: But Caesar manages to duck under Mercutio and push him over the top rope, sending him sprawled onto the concrete below!

Larsen: And he steps back, parading for the crowd as though he's already won! Watch out behind you, Caesar, here comes Mercutio!

Morpheus: He connects perfectly with the flying forearm! And Caesar sinks like a stone!

Larsen: Cover attempt by Mercutio! One, two, thr- another split second there, and we would have had a new Television champion! Wait! Caesar grabs Mercutio's legs, binds them and rolls him up! One, two, thr- this is intense! Both men have come so close to winning this match!

Morpheus: Caesar drags Mercutio to his feet, he's working the head now, giving him a couple of open-hand slaps, and then whips him towards the ring ropes. Mercutio bounces back and runs straight into... the Roman Steel! I wince every time I see that.

Larsen: Wait a minute, he's laughing! Mercutio's actually laughing! He doesn't seem the type to be into that sort of thing.

Morpheus: You'd be laughing too if you had your opponent where Mercutio does, Larsen! Look! He managed to catch Caesar's arm between his thighs!

Larsen: You're right! And as Mercutio bends down to hoist Caesar up, I think this can only mean one thing...

Morpheus: That's right Larsen! Mercutio flips Caesar over, right into- CLOSURE! And that has to be it now. One, two, thre- no way! How did Caesar kick out of that one?

Larsen: I'm not sure, but Mercutio can't seem to believe it, either! He looks to be at breaking point as he pulls himself to his feet!

Morpheus: Look out Mercutio, Caesar's already up! He turns around into-

Larsen: HAIL JUPITER! This has got to be the end now! One, two, thre- impossible!

Morpheus: How have these two not dropped already? Caesar picks up the downed Mercutio and puts him in a standing lock-up, but Mercutio twists it into his own favour!

Larsen: Mercutio goes to Irish whip Caesar into the turnbuckle, but- oh my god! Caesar just got flung into the ref, and they both fall! I think the referee may have been knocked out! Mercutio takes the advantage and jumps on Caesar, striking him with vicious lefts and rights!

Morpheus: But Caesar fights back and pushes Mercutio off of him! He’s rolling outside of the ring and speaking to one of his servants, who dashes off – what’s he doing?

Larsen: I think he’s calling for his sword, Morph! Yes, he is! But wait, look at Mercutio!

Morpheus: He’s got the Television title belt in his hands! He’s gonna fly!

Larsen: OH MY GOD! Suicide dive between the ropes with the belt in his hands! And he clubs Caesar with that belt on his head as he falls! The Emperor has been bloodied up!

Morpheus: Brutal! I think Caesar’s been knocked unconscious!

Larsen: He certainly looks lifeless as Mercutio rolls him back into the ring! He gives the ref a shove, who crawls over as Mercutio drapes himself over Caesar’s prone form! One, two, three! It’s over!

Cherry: Here is your winner and NEW Television Champion, MERCUTIO!

Mercutio (7.85 aps + 1.4 avs = 9.25 total)
Mass Caesar (8.02 aps - 0.2 penalty + 1.2 avs = 9.02 total)

Mercutio grabs the title belt and holds it aloft as he makes his way up the ramp, Caesar’s blood still dripping down. He utters a cackle as he leaves, while EMTs make their way to the ring through the crowd to resuscitate MASS Caesar.

Larsen: I’m appalled! Mercutio couldn’t win the honest way, so he cheated and, in the process, took out Caesar!

Morpheus: It was simple, open exploitation! Mercutio couldn’t do anything about the unconscious referee, so he took the fight into his own hands! And why do you care, anyway? You’re a neutral party in all of this, so what’s the problem? You just witnessed a great wrestling match, followed by a little slice of violence, and to top it all off, your guy didn’t even lose!

Larsen: That still doesn’t make it right! Mercutio should be ashamed of himself for taking such a lowbrow route!

Morpheus: Something tells me he’s going to be too drunk tonight to even consider morals



[ana]The scene cuts backstage as a black town car pulls into the arena. Veronica Cherrywood quickly approaches the vehicle as the door opens and Skyler Striker steps out.

Cherrywood: Skyler, Skyler! Why are you here tonight!?

Skyler: Man, I cant walk into a building without being asked questions, can I?

Veronica: Are you scouting your opponents? Are you here to talk to Doc?

Skyler: Psst, Veronica. Move in close, I've got something to tell you.

Veronica moves in closely to Skyler as he whispers to her.

Skyler: I'm not telling.

Skyler smiles as he walks off the shot.[/ana]

Caesar is still in shock from his loss as he approaches Celeste backstage. He approaches her irate and beligerent.

Caesar: You, Jaro’s former whore! I DEMAND to invoke my rematch clause! A grave injustice has been done and I intended to reclaim MY crown! Give me my rematch IMMEDIATELY!

Celeste: Sorry, Caesar! I can’t grant you your rematch!

Caesar: I am sorry, what did you say?

Celeste: It seems that you are deaf as well as a failure at defending your title…

Caesar’s eyes start to bulge from his head as Celeste continues.

Celeste: But I can’t grant you your rematch! At Catalyst, Chris Kelson will be the one going against the New Champion, Mercutio and it is going to be a one on one match! This was something the The Hayabusa Cup Champion has decided. My hands are tied!

Caesar: I don’t think you or those ignoramuses understand! I am a FUCKING EMPEROR! I am the man that is Royalty and divine! That untrained ape from HaVoC got lucky!

Celeste: Just as you did against Boice, thanks to your servants!

Caesar: Listen, female! I don’t care what some winner of a trinket says! I don’t care what you say! I am the Master of all! I DEMAND to get what is rightfully mine! Get me in that match!

Celeste: You know, Caesar! You are right! You deserve to be in this match!

Caesar smiles at Caesar lovingly and she calmly explains.

Celeste:I have a special announcement for the Television Title match at Catalyst and it has been decided that there will be a Special Guest Referee! The referee will be a FORMER Television champion. So far on the poll for Catalyst is Cynical, Syanide, and Wraith. Maybe if you ask the fans nicely, Caesar, you could be included in the poll!

Caesar looks irate at this and his anger grows as the crowd mocks Caesar. Caesar looks straight at Celeste.

Caesar: Look, if I don’t get my rematch, whatever happens between now and Catalyst will be on your head! Whether I chop off the head of the Hayabusa Cup Champion or destroy this entire building, Mark my words! I will get my match! Or crimson will stain this arena! And not one brick will remain standing when I am done!

Caesar walks off and goes up the ramp, snatching his Gladius from one of his servants and walks away through the corridor backstage, ranting and raving as he goes.


No More Sorrow by Linkin Park blasts through the PA system as Eric Scorpio makes his way out to the ring, the echoing of boos escorting him.

Larsen: The fans making it shown they have a clear distaste for Scorpio and his me first antics.

Morpheus: Says you, I think the guy’s a genius. He’s been robbed of what he deserved and what was rightfully his, who wouldn’t be pissed?

Map of the Problematique by Muse takes over for Linkin Park as C.G.Smitten, Full Metal Championship wrapped around his waist, makes his way to the ring.

Larsen: The fans showing Smitten the same respect they showed Scorpio.

Morpheus: None of that garbage matters. These people don’t know good talents when they see it. The only thing that matters is the respect between these two combatants.

As Smitten enters the ring he stares down Scorpio, who follow suit. After a few moments of silence between the two, they lean in and shake hands before circling each other as the bell rings.

Morpheus: See, that’s what I’m talking about. Respect amongst their peers. Scorpio and Smitten have it, why cant anyone in this federation seem to get it?

Larsen: I don’t know, maybe because these two men don’t deserve it?

Morpheus: LIES! Smitten is champion! Scorpio is a former champ! If that doesn’t call for respect I don’t know what does.

In the ring Scorpio and Smitten lock up in the center of the ring. Smitten is able to get Scorpio in a headlock and whips him off the ropes. When Scorpio rebounds, Smitten tries to land a shoulder block, but Scorpio slides through Smitten’s legs and sweeps them out from under the champion.

Larsen: Smitten trying to get on the offensive but Scorpio will have none of it!

Morpheus: I cant believe this match is going on right now. Some would call this a dream match, and its on free TV none the less!

Larsen: Scorpio rushes over to the ropes, Springboard legdrop over Smitten’s neck! Scorpio stomping into Smitten now! Smitten grabs a rope! The ref is counting, Scorp breaks at three!

Morpheus: Look at Scorpio. He’s not acknowledging the ref, he’s not acknowledging the fans! This man is cold and focused! He’s proving why he should be in this match at Catalyst!

Larsen: Not so fast, Morph. Scorpio goes back to Smitten, who lands a shoulder thrust through the ropes! Smitten pulls himself back, FLYING CLOTHESLINE! A flash of finesse we don’t usually see from the champion!

Morpheus: He knows he’s going to have to pull out all the stops!

Larsen: Smitten bounces off the ropes! Clothesline sends Scorpio back down again! Smitten runs through to the other side, OH!

Morpheus: DAMN!

As Smitten rebounds off the ropes, Scorpio is slow to get up giving Smitten the opportunity to land a Yakuza kick to the back of Scorpio’s head.

Larsen: VICIOUS KICK BY SMITTEN! SCORPIO IS DOWN! PIN! ONE TW- NO!

Morpheus: Down but not out!

Larsen: Smitten locks in the dragon sleeper now. Scorpio’s body is being stretched to its limits here.

Morpheus: I don’t know which side to choose, this is so hard!

Larsen: Yes, quite like picking Cancer or AIDS.

Morpheus: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

Larsen: Scorpio is trying to squirm out of that hold! Smitten begins to stand, he turns Scorpio and kicks him in the gut! Smitten lifts Scorpio, SLINGSHOT SUPLEX!

Morpheus: Executed to perfection, I might add.

Larsen: Again Smitten gets the pin! One, Two, NO!

Morpheus: Great! The match goes on!

Larsen: Oh joy.

Inside the ring, Smitten grows a little impatient with the flow of the match. He begins to argue with the ref about his slow counts when Scorpio pulls himself up with the ropes and charges forward, grabbing Smitten’s head and landing a series of backbreakers across his knee.

Larsen: Smitten on the offensive! He’s really taking a beating to Smitten’s back!

Morpheus: You can never discount Scorpio, Larsen.

Larsen: Scorpio turns Smitten! He puts him on the ropes, OH!

Morpheus: Sweet baby jesus!

Larsen: DDT from the third rope! Scorpio springboards again, MOONSAULT!?

Morpheus: What grace for such a big man! This is genius!

Larsen: Scorpio pins! One, NO! Scorpio gets off!? What is he doing!?

Morpheus: That’s easy to see, Larsen. He knew that wouldn’t be enough to beat Smitten and show the fans he’s worthy of that match. He has to do more! He has to show them the error of their ways!

Larsen: Did… you just say something moderately intelligent?

Morpheus: You’re an anus.

Larsen: That’s better. Scorpio lifting smitten again, he tosses him off the ropes, clothesline sends him down! Scorpio is waiting for Smitten to get up, OH! YAKUZA KICK TO SMITTEN’S HEAD!

Morpheus: What goes around comes around, Larsen. Genius planning there by Scorpio.

Larsen: Scorpio picks up Smitten, look! Scorpio kicks him in the gut! SCORPIO’S SCOURGE! Rolling cutter DDT! He’s got Smitten in the center of the ring! One, Two, NO! KICKOUT AT TWO AND A HALF!

Morpheus: These two men come from an obvious pedigree of champions. Did you know they both trained in the waterfalls of the Amazon and the mountains of the Himalayas?

Larsen: No they didn’t…

Morpheus: You’re right, but that would have been cool, huh?

Larsen: Sure. Back in the ring, Scorpio is growing more frustrated! A series of kicks to Smitten! This is getting over the top, even by Scorpio’s standards! Smitten needs to realize he is not in a friendly competition, but he’s in there with a man fighting for his life

Morpheus: Its laughable that you think Smitten doesn’t know. These two men always have to prove themselves out there. Tonight is no different.

Larsen: Smitten is pulling himself up, look at this! He thrusts forward! He’s got Scorpio draped over his shoulders, Torture Rack!

Morpheus: Scorpio won’t give up! He cant give up!

Larsen: Smitten has him locked in that tight and in the center of the ring! Look at him bend Scorpio! The man is like a paperclip in Smittens hands!

Morpheus: Scorpio! Scorpio!

Larsen: Are you trying to start a chant?

Morpheus: Um… no?

Larsen: Just making sure, OH MY!

Morpheus: Holy finisher batman!

Larsen: COURTROOM ASSAULT! SMITTEN HITS HIS FINISHER! SMITTEN TRIES TO GET UP BUT FALLS TO HIS BACK! BOTH MEN ARE DOWN!

Morpheus: What a great matchup! I’ve never seen determination like on these two men!

Larsen: Both men are down! The ref begins his count!

One…

Two…

Three…

Four…

Five…

Larsen: Smitten is up and to his knees! He’s crawling over to Scorpio! PIN! ONE, TWO, THRE- NO! OH MY GOD HOW DID SCORPIO KICK OUT!

Smitten gets up, furious with the ref and his slow counting.

Morpheus: Who taught that referee how to count? Clearly nobody.

Larsen: This match has been refereed fairly, Morph, you cant deny that!

Morpheus: I believe what Smitten wants me to!

Larsen: Yes like a good little sheep. Smitten turns back to Scorpio, he slowly pulls him up, NO! Scorpio with an Atomic Drop! A kick to the gut! Scorpio lifts Smitten, POWERBOMB!

Morpheus: Beautiful!

Larsen: He’s holding on! ANOTHER POWERBOMB!

Morpheus: Smitten’s one of the biggest men in FMW at 290 pounds and Scorpio is handling him like he’s…you Larsen! You weigh what, all of 170?

Larsen: 179, thank you, but this isn’t about me, Morph! Scorpio is lifting for another powerbomb! What is he doing now? OH MY GOD!

Scorpio lifts Smitten once more and charges to a corner where he flings Smitten right into the turnbuckle. Smitten’s head violently bangs off the canvas as Scorpio collapses.

Larsen: Jesus Christ! Both men are down again! Neither seems to be moving!

Morpheus: Great another ref count. One, two, yellow. That’s how he counts.

One…

Two….

Three…

Four…

Five...

Six…

Larsen: Scorpio is moving! He’s pulled himself up with the ropes! He’s walking over to Smitten! Wait, he’s not going for the pin?

Morpheus: Something else in mind, perhaps.

Larsen: LOOK! SCORPIO IS LOCKING IN THAT SUBMISSION! HE CALLS IT SINFUL REPETANCE! HES LOCKED IN THE LIONTAMER WHILE STANDING ON SMITTEN’S FEET! HE HAS TO BE DONE FOR NOW!

Morpheus: I don’t want this match to end!

Larsen: Listen to Smitten’s screams! Scorpio Is calling for him to tap! Smitten refuses!

Morpheus: What perseverance! This man is truly a great champion!

Larsen: Scorpio is pulling back even further! Smitten’s body is curved into a C! WAIT LOOK!

Morpheus: Oh no!

Larsen: Scorpio pulled him so far back that Smitten’s foot touched the rope! The ref is counting and Scorpio lets go at 4! Scorpio is furious! Look at him in the center of the ring, shouting!

Morpheus: He almost had the champion, Larsen! Wouldn’t you be furious too?

Larsen: Scorpio takes a second to look at Smitten. He’s still crumpled on the canvas! Scorpio turns to maybe go for the pin, NO! Smitten’s starting to pull himself up! Look at the look on Scorpio’s face!

Morpheus: What valor! What honor! This man is the people’s champion!

Larsen: Scorpio runs off the opposite ropes! He’s going for another kick, NO! OH MY GOD! SMITTEN IS ABLE TO FLAPJACK SCORPIO OVER THE ROPES! SCORPIO CRASH LANDS ON THE FLOOR!

Morpheus: Oh my god. This is insane.

Larsen: Smitten falls in the ring again! The ref looks at Scorpio! He has to be concussed or something! The ref is starting his count!

One…

Two…

Three…

Four…

Five…

Six…

Seven…

Larsen: Wait, what the hell is Smitten doing!? He’s going outside the ring! That will reset the count!

Morpheus: He has to prove to all the doubters, if he hasn’t already, that he deserves to be champion! He has to show Scorpio, not to mention Derrick, Skyler, and Bryson, that he’s the best in this federation!

Larsen: Smitten ignores the refs command to get in the ring! Smitten stumbles over to Scorpio, he lifts him up, RAKE TO THE EYES! SCORPIO RAKES SMITTEN’S EYES! CLOTHESLINE!

Morpheus: Oh, great. The ref is counting again…

ONE!

Larsen: Scorpio walks over to Smitten, NO! SMITTEN EXPLODES! A RIGHT TO SCORPIO!

Morpheus: SCORPIO LANDS A RIGHT OF HIS OWN!

TWO!

Larsen: ANOTHER RIGHT FROM SMITTEN!

Morpheus: ANOTHER FROM SCORPIO!

THREE!

Larsen: Smitten lands another right! HE BLOCKS SCORPIO’S SHOT! HE WHIPS SCORPIO INTO THE GUARD RAIL AND FALLS TO A KNEE! SCORPIO FALLS TO THE FLOOR!

FOUR!

Larsen: Neither man is making an offensive!

FIVE!

Larsen: This match could very well end in a draw Morph!

Morpheus: A true testament to both men’s wills, Larsen.

Larsen: WAIT! SCORPIO SHOOTS OFF THE GROUND! HE’S CHARGING SMITTEN!

Morpheus: OH MY GOD!

Larsen: OH MY GOD!

As Scorpio charges, Smitten is able to flapjack Scorpio once again, but this time Scorpio’s back lands right on the edge of the steel steps.

Larsen: THAT’S ENOUGH! HE HAS TO BE DEAD! THAT’S ENOUGH!

Morpheus: Its never enough Larsen! These men have to show the world they mean business!

SIX!

Larsen: Both men are down now! I don’t know if either of them has what it takes!

SEVEN!

Larsen: WAIT! SMITTEN IS UP AND MOVING!

EIGHT!

Larsen: Smitten crawls onto the apron. I
think this is- OH MY GOD! SCORPIO IS CRAWLING TO THE RING! HOW IS HE STILL ALIVE?!

Morpheus: The heart of a champion, Larsen!

NINE!

Larsen: SMITTEN ROLLS IN THE RING! SCORPIO IS PULLING HIMSELF UP ON THE APRON!

Morpheus: COME ON SCORPIO!

TEN!

The bell rings as Scorpio lets go of the apron and lies on the ground, breathing heavily.

Cherry: Ladies and Gentlemen. Here is your winner, Full Metal Champion, CHRISTIAN! G! SMITTEN!

Christian G. Smitten (8.08 aps - 0.1 penalty + 1.5 avs = 9.48 total)
Eric Scorpio (8.27 aps - 0.1 penalty + 1.1 avs = 9.27 total)

Larsen: Both men are beaten and bruised, but nobody can take away what these two have put each other through!

Morpheus: What an insane matchup! I’m still at a loss for words!

[ana]Backstage, Veronica Cherrywood stands once more in front of the Anarchy Logo, microphone in hand.

Cherywood: Hello once again! I'm here back stage with one of the three possible choices for Catalyst, The Cleveland Crippler, Nick Bryson!

The crowd pops for Bryson as he walks into the shot smiling.

Bryson: Hey, whats goin on?

Cherrywood: Nick, you are one of the three choices for the triple threat championship match at Catalyst and clearly one of the fan favorites, how do you feel?

Bryson: How do I feel? What do you mean how do I feel? This is one of the most exciting opportunities in my lifetime and to know that the people know I deserve this shot too makes it all the more sweeter.

Cherrywood: Tonight you're going up against John Derrick, who's already confirmed in the match at Catalyst, whats your game plan?

Bryson takes the microphone from her hand.

Bryson: Now, I cant give that away, I know he's watching. Hi John! How are you? I saw that little rant you had earlier, that was cute, but lets face it... as much as you claim I dont know you, you dont know me. You know, I'm one of the more successful members in this federation, John. I hold victories over Ethan Black, Eric Scorpio, Drew Michaels, even Smitten. Now, I know some people don't believe my win over Smitten to be very "absolute" but come Catalyst, I will make sure that is no longer in question and I will make that fact absolute too. Every champion in the short list, John...except you... but tonight, that changes. Tonight I prove why I am the best. It is my continual work of art, a masterpiece if you will, and you're the final piece to it. I silence the critics, the doubters, the non-believers and I create my own path to glory and it runs right through you.

I feel bad for you John, because tonight you have to take on a monster and its not the kind you can hide under a blanket from.

Bryson hands the mic back to Cherrywood as he stares into the camera for a second before walking off the shot.[/ana]

We go back once again to the three judges at the table, Jaro, Dalby, and Judge Doom, awaiting what appears to be the final contestant.

Dalby: Eastwood.

Jaro: (using his robotic voice box) He's a fairy. He fails.

Dalby: Butters came out, I guess he counts.

Jaro: Fail.

Dalby: What about Dunn.

Jaro: Dunn would be good to clean up my feces when I cant get out of my chair in time, but other than janitor work, no. Fail.

Judge Doom: I AGREE.

Dalby: Why are you always yelling?

Judge Doom: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

The three are silenced as the door clicks open and a small laugh is heard on the other side. The camera focuses on the door for a few seconds as the laugh grows louder

[size=85]ahhahaha[/size][size=150]ahaAHA[/size]HA[size=200]HAHa[/size]hA[size=85]HAHa[/size][size=150]HAAHAH[/size]AhahHAHAHA

Dalby: Oh great.

the door finally flies open as Harlequin rushes into the room, his arms spread out like an air plane.

Dalby: This guy.

Judge Doom: I LIKE HIM.

Jaro: Silence peons, let the man speak.

Harlequin finally settles on the stage and stands in front of the Jaro Idol image.

Harlequin:...HI!

Dalby: Hello...

Judge Doom: WHAT ARE YOUR QUALIFICATIONS?!

Harlequin: Well, I've done a lot of the things he has!

He points at Jaro, who continues to stare at him, silently intrigued.

Harlequin: Like, I won the Ultraviolent championship!

Dalby: Yeah? And what else?

Harlequin: And I organized a super bad bad guy super unit! We're called HaVoc! Oh... but... my unit still exists and wins and stuff... unlike his.

Dalby: Watch your tongue!

Harlequin: Oh, oh, oh, and Jason Krow. I understand he was your protege, sure that's fine. But I picked him apart, limb from limb and fed him to the abyss. In doing so I took from your a shiny piece of worthless gold, which no doubt you want back a little bit

Jaro's eyes grow both more intrigued and uncomfortable.

Harlequin: And then I did all these cool things cause I can. Like when I killed a little girl for walking down the street! Or when I held a hotel hostage! I bet you've never done any of those!

Dalby: You're-

Harlequin: Or when I turned Andrew into a psycopath! Or when my team won a match in the Harvest of Evil matchup! Come to think of it I lead my team to victory... again, something you couldnt... really... do, could you?

Dalby: Look, peon, you're below Jaro-

Harlequin: No, actually, I dont think so. I think him and I we're quite alike.

Jaro: Whats his in ring work like, Dalby?

Dalby: Its just as crazy as he is, but he's been on a tear recently. He actually defends his belt at Catalyst in a 15 minute massacre match against a bunch of-

Before Dalby can get out that last word the door flings open and Guiomar the Barbaric charges in, swinging a sword left and right. He dives and spears Harlequin into the Jaro Idol logo as lights begin to fall. The two get up and brawl to the table as Jaro tries to wheel himself away. Judge Doom jumps into Dalby's arms as Guiomar slams Harlequin through the table. Harlequin hits Guiomar in the face with Jaro's Coffee mug, causing it to shatter and coffee to go in his eyes.

Harlequin: AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Harlequin gets up and tackles Guiomar through the door the scene fades to black.


Cherry: The following match, is our SECOND and FINAL CO-MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING and is schedulded for ONE FALL!!!

The crowd pops in anticipation of what should be a great match, and the pops grow louder as “Gimme Shelter” by The Rolling Stones hits. John Derrick walks out and towards the ring occasionally stopping to take a swig from a flask and survey the surroundings.

Cherry: Introducing first….from Tombstone, Arizona weighing 230 pounds, JOHN ‘DOC’ DERRRRRRICKKKKKK!!!!

Doc readies himself with stretching as “Clouds over California” by DevilDriver hits. Nick Bryson emerges to cheers and heads straight to the ring. He gets into the ring and looks at a calm Doc. Bryson holds up his hand, four fingers outstretched, and the middle finger curled into the palm at Doc and makes a belt gesture, reminding Doc that he’s beaten four out of the five FMW Champions in FMW’s existence. He then takes down all the fingers, and gives Doc THE finger to signify him being the last one left.

Cherry: His opponent from Cleveland, Ohio weighing in at 245 pounds, “The Cleveland Crippler” NICK BRYYYYYSONNNN!!!!

The crowd continues to cheer as the bell rings. Doc and Bryson circle each other and lock up, Derrick takes the advantage with an arm twist, and starts to wrench on it a bit.

Larsen: This match is now underway with two of FMW’s best going at it. Doc holds the advantage now, but Morph, imagine what this would do for Bryson in the voting if he can beat Doc tonight.

Morpheus: It won’t matter until he wins, but these fuckers should have quite the match considering the war of words they’ve been having lately.

Larsen: Derrick takes over Bryson with an armdrag, and Bryson is back up. Doc goes for it again, and Bryson braces and gives Doc an armdrag of his own. Bryson keeps the armbar on as Doc works to his feet.

Morpheus: It’s like these two are going for the same thing.

Larsen: Well they are both Technical-based wrestlers, so what would you expect? But, Doc is more of a brawler, and Bryson prefers the submission game as well even though both a very adept at Hardcore and Ultraviolent situatiuons. Doc is back up now, and a right hand breaks Bryson’s grip. Now Doc has a headlock in, and Bryson goes to the ropes trying to push him off. Bryson pushes off and Doc goes down from a shoulderblock off the rebound. Bryson to the ropes now, over Doc who’s now back to his feet, hiptoss attempt blocked by Bryson…Doc counters Bryson’s counters into a swinging neckbreaker. Dc goes for a quick cover and only gets one.

Morpheus: Nice little exchange right there…they should have made this match Hardcore.

Larsen: Doc has a chinlock on Bryson who’s quickly getting to his feet. Why should it have been hardcore? You don’t appreciate a good old-fashioned back and forth match?

Morpheus: I like back and forth as much as the next guy but This is Anarchy, that’s all I have to say on it.

Larsen: Bryson tries to counter the chinlock into a back suplex, but Doc goes into a headlock and takes him to the ground. Bryson headscissors out of it, and strikes a rising Doc with a kick to the gut. Bryson fires a left hand and goes to an Irish Whip, but Doc reverses! Bryson grabs onto the ropes. Doc charges, and Bryson back body drops him to the outside-No! Doc lands on his feet on the apron, and gets in a hard forearm to the head of Bryson. Doc comes into the ring, charges Bryson and Bryson with a clothesline takes down Doc! Bryson has Doc back up near the ropes but Doc yanks Bryson by the tights, sending him out of the ring.

Morpheus: It’s about to get a bit more violent I think. Doc and Bryson are looking evenly matched tonight. Look Out Larsen!

Larsen: Doc rams Bryson into our announce table! And he does it again! The ref not even bothering to count either man out.

Doc grabs Bryson by the hair and tries to whip Bryson into the ringpost. Bryson manages to catch himself before hitting the post, and take down Doc with a Clothesline. Bryson takes Doc to his feet and rams him ribs and torso-first into ring side, causing Doc to fall to a knee.

Morpheus: Doc’s ribs can’t be feeling good right now.

Larsen: Looks like Bryson is starting to work for the Sickle Touch, which affects the ribs and torso as well as the face of the opponent. An early and constant pressure on that area is just what the doctor ordered.

Morpheus: They’re back in the ring now, and with the exception of Bryson most recent attack, It’s still too close to fucking call. I’m calling it now, first man to capitalize on a mistake wins this one!

Larsen: Bryson goes for a cover, and Doc gets the shoulder up just before two. Bryson now with knees to the ribs. Bryson has Doc back up and a hard Irish whip to the turnbuckles takes Doc to a knee.

Morpheus: Bryson finally starting to step out the shadows of evenly matched, much like he’s stepping out the shadows of his cousin Drew Michaels.

Larsen: Bryson now with an abdominal stretch on Doc now, mixing in some punches to the torso. Morph, you have to feel for Bryson though, as much success he has had in FMW, he’ll always be compared to his cousin no matter what.

Morpheus: Look, it’s a great feat to beat four world champions, hell didn’t the WWE have Mr. Kennedy beat seven former world champs? But what has he done himself? Not much if anything. Bryson has a half of an Ultraviolent title reign to his credit, granted it was Jaro but still.

Larsen: You and I both know that Bryson has never received a FMW title shot, that’s probably why he doesn’t have the sparkling resume as say Eric Scorpio or Skyler Striker. Doc hiptosses out of the hold, and drops a rising Bryson with a High Knee, Harley Race-esque! But I think for now the damage has been done as Doc is favoring the ribs.

Morpheus: Doc needs to stay on him then, hurt a part of Bryson to level the playing field.

Larsen: Doc has Bryson up, whip to the ropes and he ducks down, but Bryson stops, and lifts him on his shoulders. Yokosuka Cutter connects! Doc telegraphed that one!

The crowd pops at Bryson’s offense, Bryson crawls for a cover, not hooking the leg.

Larsen: One…Two…Kickout! Doc is still in this one.

Morpheus: But Bryson is still calm in this one. He has Doc now in a grounded Abdominal Stretch.

Crowd: LET’S GO DOC!! LET’S GO DOC!! LET’S GO DOC!!

Larsen: Doc is visibly pained, but Bryson starting to get frustrated with the fans now, Doc is fighting out of it, and he gets his arm out from under him, managing to strike Bryson across the chest with a palm. Bryson feels the sting and breaks the hold.

Morpheus: I don’t like either one of these ‘good guys’ but as long as they both get beat up a bit, I’ll think I’ll be OK so do something to him Doc!

Larsen: Doc gets to his feet as Bryson is angrily walking towards Doc, and Doc gets an eyepoke in. Bryson stumbles a bit, and Doc with a kick and quick DDT connects! He spiked him!

Morpheus: Both men are down, but Doc seems to be worse for wear. Doc getting to a knee as does Bryson!

Larsen: Doc and Bryson go to trade punches, but Doc blocks and staggers Bryson with a right hand, and another! Doc with the Irish Whip, and a back elbow drops Bryson. Bryson is back up and a Powerslam floors him! But Doc grimaces a bit, I think the ribs felt it! Delayed cover by Doc!

Morpheus:One..Two..Kickout by Bryson. Doc gets Bryson back up, and dazes him with a headbutt. He’s dragging him to the corner but Bryson comes alive! Bryson rams Doc into the corner, and goes for it again but Doc jumps and reverses into a sunset flip, Doc’s feet are on the ropes..One…Two…Th-no!! Bryson just gets out of that one!

Larsen: Doc’s breathing looks labored as he argues with the ref a bit. Doc decides to let that argument go though.

Morpheus: Smart decision, as Bryson could be recovering. Doc goes for Bryson who gets a knee to the midsection in. Irish Whip to Doc now, but Bryson reverses.

Larsen: Doc swings for a Lariat, but Bryson ducks behind. Doc turns around and Bryson nails a Sitout Spinebuster! Cover! One..Two..No! Doc is out of that predicament!

Bryson collapses back, thinking he had it won as the crowd cheers a bit. Bryson gets up, and Doc surprises him with an inside cradle as Bryson went to lift him up. Bryson kicks out at two, and as he gets to his feet, Doc lifts him, runs and drops him across the turnbuckle with Snake eyes. Doc eixts the ring onto the apron as Bryson stumbles trying to regain his bearings. Doc Slingshots back into the ring and connects with a Spinning Wheel Kick to the side of Bryson’s head! Bryson goes down, eyes glazed as Doc writhes. The crowd cheers loudly as dueling chants of “LET’S GO DOC!!” and “GO NICK GO!!” commence.

Larsen: What an exchange and both men are down!

Morpheus: Bryson has taken some nasty shots to the head, and now both men are primed for their finishers if the opportunity presents itself.

Larsen: Doc gets to his feet first and Bryson gets to a knee. Doc runs and a low dropkick to the face sends Bryson backward. Doc goes for a pin…One...Two...Bryson gets the shoulder up!

Morpheus: That was close as balls!

Larsen:Doc has Bryson up now in a Fireman’s Carry, but Bryson elbows out of it, landing behind Doc. He hooks the head and lifts..Lifting Inverted DDT connects! Bryson goes for a cover. One…Two…Kickout by Doc!

Morpheus: The constant pressure from both men seems to be expending the energy of those two. Bryson’s making a great case to be voted in and Doc is showing World-Class resiliency.

Larsen: Bryson goes to the legs, looking for the Cross-Clutch but Doc’s leg strength allows Doc to turn his hips and send Bryson shoulder first into the ringpost. Doc’s sensing an opportunity now!

Doc snatches Bryson by the tights and lifts for a back suplex, but instead of falling back he sits Bryson on the second ropes, back facing the ring. Doc grabs the head of Bryson and steps out a bit before landing an elevated…

Larsen: Hangman’s Neckbreaker takes out Bryson!

Morpheus: Ballgame, End of Story.

Larsen: Doc pulls a lifeless looking Bryson away from the corner and covers..One…Two…Thre-NO! Bryson is still in this one!

Morpheus: Son of a bitch, Bryson won’t stay down!

Larsen: We are getting a PPV quality match here!

The crowd cheers Bryson’s kickout, but Doc angrily stares at Bryson and lifts him up by the hair. Doc has Bryson in a Powerbomb position and crosses the arms, looking for Ol’ Number 7, but Bryson back bodydrops Doc over. Bryson falls with him, impacting the worked torso of Doc. Bryson remains on top of Doc, who still has a hold of Bryson’s arms, as the ref counts!

Larsen: Bryson with a counter and a pin! One…Two…Doc bridges back up and turns. Doc lifts and throws Bryson over with a Straight Jacket Gutwrench Suplex, trying to buy some time.

Morpheus: Doc had his move countered right there, he has to be pissed!

Doc gets to all fours and crawls to Bryson. Doc fires a punch to Bryson, and takes Bryson to his feet, holding his ribs as he does so. Bryson then comes to life, catching Doc with a Belly to Belly Suplex.

Larsen: Bryson pulls another one out of the bag! Doc is down from the Belly to Belly suplex, and Bryson gives the cut-throat sign. But he’s a little wobbly and is favoring his head.

Morpheus: He takes Doc to his feet, and goes behind…Sickle Touch coming!

Larsen: But no! Doc has his hand on the ropes somehow! Bryson desperately trying to take him over, but Doc has a death grip on those ropes!

Morpheus: Bryson, try harder! Damn…he put him down!

Larsen: Bryson fires off punches rapidly, trying to daze Doc for just long enough. Bryson lifts agin, but Doc counters into a roll-up! One…Two…Thr-No! Bryson kicks out!


Morpheus: These guys keep coming so close!

Larsen: Bryson is up, he swings a clothesline at Doc, but Doc ducks and Knob Creek hits home! You know what’s coming next, Morph!

Morpehus: Nighty night, Bryson. Hell of a try.

Larsen: Hey, they haven’t done anything yet but Doc has taken Bryson to the middle of the ring and Doc crosses the arms…here it comes…NOT YET!!

Doc lifts Bryson up onto his shoulders, but Bryson wiggles down and lands behind Doc. Bryson quickly lifts Doc onto his shoulders and slams him with the Sickle Touch as the crowd goes ape shit!!!

Larsen: SICKLE TOUCH out of nowhere, Bryson shoots the half and goes for a pin, both legs hooked as Doc weakly fights it!!!

Morpheus: ONE! TWO! THREE!!! DOC KICKS OUT! Did he get him?

Larsen: The ref signals the bell! Bryson has won it by one second!!! Doc was one second too late!

Cherry: Here is your winner…NIIIIICK BRRRRYYYYYYSSOOOONNNN!!!

Nick Bryson (8.23 aps - 0.1 penalty + 1.5 avs = 9.63 total)
John "Doc" Derrick (8.45 aps - 0.2 penalty + 0.8 avs = 9.05 total)

“Clouds over California” by DevilDriver plays as Doc rolls to his stomach, upset as Bryson sits up and has his hand raised by the ref as the crowd claps in approval of what they have just seen.

Larsen: What a match! Bryson has now defeated every FMW champion we’ve ever had, and what is this?

Morpheus: They’ve got company, in the form of CGS and Scorpio!

Scorpio: Cut that shit..(The music of Bryson stops) I know you ignorant people (points at fans) won’t give me what I deserve, so I will take out on the flesh of your heroes!

CGS: Indeed, Eric. You think that you can back me into a corner and stack the deck against me? I think it’s time I remind Doc what he’s getting from me, and serve a warning to Bryson about what I am capable of.

Larsen: Smitten and Scorpio are bolting to the ring and Doc and Bryson are in no shape to take on these two scavengers! And now they are stomping away at Doc and Bryson. Scorpio pulls Doc to his feet, and CGS cracks him with the title belt!

Morpheus: It is what it is, Robbie! CGS ais pounding the shit out of Bryson now! Scorpio hooks up Bryson for Scorpio’s Scourge, but look out!

The crowd goes nuts as SKYLER STRIKER bolts from the crowd!

Larsen: THATS SKYLER COMING IN THROUG HTHE CROWD! HE LANDS A RIGHT TO SMITTEN! A LEFT TO SCORPIO! CLOTHESLINE TO SMITTEN SENDS HIM DOWN! FLYING CROSS BODY SENDS SKYLER AND SCORPIO OVER THE TOP ROPE AND OUT TO THE FLOOR!

Morpheus: What the hell! What an unfair strike by Skyler, he's a grade-A asshole!

Larsen: Scorpio and Skyler are fighting up the ramp, but look in the ring! Bryson gains an advantage over CGS with a T-Bone suplex! He passes out right after, the toll this match took on Bryson is massive!

Morpheus: Not too massive, plus you forget the epic match Smitten was in too!

Larsen: Bryson charges at Smitten, NO! SMITTEN DUCKS AND PULS DOWN THE ROPE! BRYSON FLIES TO THE OUTSIDE!

Morpheus: He landed face first, that cant be good!

Larsen: CGS is standing tall now, surveying the damage down to Bryson. This is unfair, dammit! CGS ruined one of the best TV matches we’ve seen on Anarchy in its existence!

Morpheus: He’s sending a message, just like with Doc when he cracked him with the belt. Speaking of Doc…LOOK OUT SMITTEN!

CGS turns around into a standing Doc, who kicks him in the gut and suddenly plants him with the Ol’ Number 7! The crowd cheers as Doc stand over the champion.

Larsen: DERRICK DOWNS THE CHAMPION! SMITTEN IS FALLEN! LOOK AT DOC STAND TRIUMPHANT IN THE RING!

Doc reaches down and picks up the belt, staring at it for a moment. He then glares at a fallen Smitten as he hoists the belt high over his head, much to the excitement of the crowd.

Larsen: CGS has been drilled with the Ol’ Number 7! Doc has that title now, and is this what we are going to see at Catalyst?!?!?

Morpheus: Thats terrible of him to do! What an insult!

Larsen: Well, if you haven’t made plans to see Catalyst I suggest you do so! Don't forget to place your orders for Catalyst and vote for what promises to be one of the most intriguing Pay-per-views in FMW history! For my partner in crime Morpheus, I’m Robb Larsen and Good night from Anarchy!!

The show fades to logo with Doc staring at the FMW title looking at the crowd with a smirk on his face.