NO HOLDS BARRED Trash Talking Thread

Hey Austin, those two Sedin guys are pretty good, right?

*Gives Slegnadamus a malice-heavy look of contempt*

You stating the obvious, ignominious, indolent, potential wasting mother fu...

No, Austin. Don't blow a gasket over this... this person asking rhetorical questions.

*deep breath in attempt to calm self*

You shut up, Slegnadamus.

You just shut the hell up.

*Yells out in obvious frustration in a increasingly rare show of outright emotion before flipping over a chair in the den.*

Cry more, Austin. I'd beat you down like Bieksa owned Patty Marleau last night.

Omega wrote:

Your element?

I didn't realize we were in a "laying on your back until the count of three" match.

Bitch, get real...the only real threats in this match are either the Broken Saints or the Together Demons, everyone else is going to fall to the wayside because they either can't get along, or they just don't have the heart to stand toe to toe with Xander Kross and Seth Omega.

Who in the tag scramble is a tag team champion, two times, tag team of the year, and has wins over the likes of the Super team of Doc/Skyler, SPARTA, HavOc, etc, etc, etc, all of which at their prime.

That's right. Me. So, I think that qualifies the match as being in 'my element.'

You're deluded, but it was just about annoying enough to irritate me.

So it's secret time.

Go ahead, go win the match, Mr. Omega. Because I have a reliable source that states you're on a GSW consultancy paycheck. So it'll still be a win for GSW. You wanted to rename and rebrand the Abandoned Title, didn't you? Congratulations. You're a dirty little turncoat.

Oh, by the way, the reliable source is you.

Anyone want some popcorn? This shit is bananas.

MPD wrote:

Omega wrote:

Your element?

I didn't realize we were in a "laying on your back until the count of three" match.

Bitch, get real...the only real threats in this match are either the Broken Saints or the Together Demons, everyone else is going to fall to the wayside because they either can't get along, or they just don't have the heart to stand toe to toe with Xander Kross and Seth Omega.

Who in the tag scramble is a tag team champion, two times, tag team of the year, and has wins over the likes of the Super team of Doc/Skyler, SPARTA, HavOc, etc, etc, etc, all of which at their prime.

That's right. Me. So, I think that qualifies the match as being in 'my element.'

You're deluded, but it was just about annoying enough to irritate me.

So it's secret time.

Go ahead, go win the match, Mr. Omega. Because I have a reliable source that states you're on a GSW consultancy paycheck. So it'll still be a win for GSW. You wanted to rename and rebrand the Abandoned Title, didn't you? Congratulations. You're a dirty little turncoat.

Oh, by the way, the reliable source is you.

Nigga, don't try to ruin my name by spewing bullshit.

Yeah, I was on a GSW paycheck until your check bounced due to your lame ass fed not having the money to afford me.

Turncoat? Not hardly...it wasn't a secret my FMW Contract was coming to an end, I signed with GSW for a brief period of time, your check bounced, and FMW signed me back.

You make it sound like I did anything wrong, business is business.

Nicholas Gray wrote:

Anyone want some popcorn? This shit is bananas.

I'd like some bananas.

I could go for some popcorn. This is some soap opera shit here.

Oh, hiya, Frost.

Omega wrote:

MPD wrote:

Omega wrote:

Your element?

I didn't realize we were in a "laying on your back until the count of three" match.

Bitch, get real...the only real threats in this match are either the Broken Saints or the Together Demons, everyone else is going to fall to the wayside because they either can't get along, or they just don't have the heart to stand toe to toe with Xander Kross and Seth Omega.

Who in the tag scramble is a tag team champion, two times, tag team of the year, and has wins over the likes of the Super team of Doc/Skyler, SPARTA, HavOc, etc, etc, etc, all of which at their prime.

That's right. Me. So, I think that qualifies the match as being in 'my element.'

You're deluded, but it was just about annoying enough to irritate me.

So it's secret time.

Go ahead, go win the match, Mr. Omega. Because I have a reliable source that states you're on a GSW consultancy paycheck. So it'll still be a win for GSW. You wanted to rename and rebrand the Abandoned Title, didn't you? Congratulations. You're a dirty little turncoat.

Oh, by the way, the reliable source is you.

Nigga, don't try to ruin my name by spewing bullshit.

Yeah, I was on a GSW paycheck until your check bounced due to your lame ass fed not having the money to afford me.

Turncoat? Not hardly...it wasn't a secret my FMW Contract was coming to an end, I signed with GSW for a brief period of time, your check bounced, and FMW signed me back.

You make it sound like I did anything wrong, business is business.

I make more than you here, I make more than you at GSW; and that's because 'Matt P. Dunn' is a bigger name then 'Seth Omega' will ever be, and I've never had any cheque problems.

So. What to believe; a man who kept quiet on the fact that he was employed by GSW after his FMW contract expired, who is now claiming that 'the cheque bounced' when every member of the GSW invasion team can tell you we've had no trouble with finances, or Matt P. Dunn, a man, who if nothing else, is at least honest in the fact I'll tell you when I stab you in the back; I'm quite open about it.

Nothing wrong with what you did, and what I believe you are still benefitting from (the GSW contract, that is,) I'm just saying that if you do win, which is a completely unfounded idea in itself,
It's still a win for GSW, and ergo, a win for me.

You can keep your money, I still have the Abandoned Title Reign you were too much of a choke artist to have.

Slegna wrote:

Cry more, Austin. I'd beat you down like Bieksa owned Patty Marleau last night.

Ammunition 12.2 wrote:

Sound: You miss my point.. Drew has got it wrong again.

Hostyle: I might agree with you on this one.

Drew finally calms Butters, explaining that he will check on Slegna but as he turns back around to the injured man he is only in time to see Austin flash across the ring

Sound: Occam's Razor! Slegna just got kicked into 2013. I haven't seen anyone take this kind of punishment since…. Well Drew.

Drew steps up to Austin and starts doing some yelling of his own but Austin doesn't even acknowledge him, simply reaching down and rolling Slegna onto his back before making the most nonchalant of covers.

Sound: C'mon Drew make the count

Hostyle: I think Drew has other ideas….

Drew looks as if he desperately wants to interrupt the count but with a shake of the head more to himself than anything he kneels down and performs the perfunctory 1, 2 3 and signals for the bell.

Buster Cherry: Here are your winners and STILL FMW Unified Tag Team Champions….THE WAYWARD SONS

Now, it is unfortunate that the the altar boy Leviticus stuck his nose where it wasn't warranted, but the fact remains that last time we met, I laid you out.

Slegnadamus, you have potential. You really do, but you're Slegnadamus. Your mammoth failures and wasting away overrules anything of substance that you could possibly even say. It's a shame because you are highly intelligent.

I will say this, it was stupid on your part to insinuate that you could best me in a physical confrontation given that I've proven you would not, and you can barely put up a decent showing against GSW. I digress.

It is rather unfortunate that you, being from the Pacific Northwest, have to attach your sports-related hopes and dreams to a team that isn't located in your country despite the close proximity, but rest assured that if it were to come down to it between you and I, in this case San Jose would do to Vancouver what the Canucks are currently doing to the Sharks in the playoffs.

And in the grand scheme of things, what I would do to you would be a bit more important than the Sharks ultimately doing what critics say they do. They may choke, but I'd dissect you.

OOC: screw it, double post.

IC:

I would like to take this time to honor one of the greatest competitors and performers to ever step foot in the squared circle. A true legend and a legitimate lord of the craft I currently attempt to master.

Rest in Peace, "Macho Man" Randy Savage. Your contributions to professional wrestling did not go unnoticed or unappreciated.

Austin bows his head in respectful silence for one of his idols growing up.

Omega wrote:

You can keep your money, I still have the Abandoned Title Reign you were too much of a choke artist to have.

It's funny that you trumpet that like it's a worthwhile accomplishment. I guess you'd have to, since you choked away opportunities at 2 other more prestigious titles (UV and TV). Though I guess "choke" would be the wrong word, since nobody in their right mind would have put money on you winning either title.

How many Television Champions have went on to win the FMW Title?

The answer is zero.

And to be fair, I don't recall a C-4 Champion outside of Hostyle gaining the FMW Title after they won the C-4. Granted Scorps and Drew held it before but we're talking after here.

Now the UV has had an assload of guys, so it's obviously one of the more prestigious belts.

But the Abandoned has spawned off one FMW Champion, and that one just so happened to be the longest reigning champion in FMW history.

Now while Leon, Skyler (first time), Romeo, Frost, and soon enough you decided to pass the belt around like a french whore it has lost some value. But I'd still take the Abandoned over the Television Title any day of the week.

Omega wrote:

And to be fair, I don't recall a C-4 Champion outside of Hostyle gaining the FMW Title after they won the C-4. Granted Scorps and Drew held it before but we're talking after here.

Hannibal Frost did so, despite being C-4 Heavyweight Wrestling Champion for only twenty days. To further your own argument, he also became FMW World Champion post-Abandoned Championship reign.

Also, the Ultraviolent Championship has spawned three future World Champions (Drew Michaels, John Derrick and Nick Bryson) to be fair with Jaro and Harley roaming around that number should be higher but three is not much more than two, which is the amount of future World Champions that the Abandoned Championship AND the C-4 Heavyweight Wrestling Championship have each spawned.

If you refuse to count him, then I will ask you to revisit that statement after I personally receive a FMW World Championship opportunity.

Other than that, and the fact that most Television Champions (Syanide, Andrew O'Rion, PX when he can be bothered to "clear his schedule" or what have you, and most recently David GS) tend to be some of the more dominant competitors going at the time of their reign so the TV belt is quite prestigious, I see little else wrong with your statement.

Omega wrote:

How many Television Champions have went on to win the FMW Title?

The answer is zero.

And to be fair, I don't recall a C-4 Champion outside of Hostyle gaining the FMW Title after they won the C-4. Granted Scorps and Drew held it before but we're talking after here.

Now the UV has had an assload of guys, so it's obviously one of the more prestigious belts.

But the Abandoned has spawned off one FMW Champion, and that one just so happened to be the longest reigning champion in FMW history.

Now while Leon, Skyler (first time), Romeo, Frost, and soon enough you decided to pass the belt around like a french whore it has lost some value. But I'd still take the Abandoned over the Television Title any day of the week.

So, the Abandoned Title had one guy who went on to do something else. Awesome. The TV title had guys like X, Syanide, and Cynical win it. Here's the big difference, though.

The TV title has had people feud over it. There have been legitimately interesting storylines like DGS's current streak. The Abandoned Title was... er... well... it's been on several brands that have been cancelled. Just like me. Tyrant held it once, but nobody really cares about that except for people trying to make a case that this belt isn't completely pointless. What's notable about Tyrant's career is his FMW title run and his stint in NEW. That's it. His run as champion is a sidenote.

It also has a terrible, pointless gimmick attached to it that serves no real purpose. What's it going to be this week? Lumberjack match? During a face vs face match... well, that doesn't make sense and isn't very interesting. I mean, who wants to see a bunch of faces being nice to each other outside the ring? Oh well, let's roll with it.

Both the TV belt and the Abandoned title are tertiary belts. They're basically the equivalent of the European, Hardcore or Light Heavyweight belts in the WWE. Difference is, the Abandoned Championship is, at this point, comic relief. Similar to the Hardcore belt during the "lol, 24/7 rules, here's a match at a Chucky Cheese's" era. Hey, I like it. I like participating in stupid gimmick matches every week. If there's anyone who appreciates a pointless gimmick, it's the Posterchild of Post-Modernism (and that will be the only time I ever refer to that nickname). I'm sorry you don't like me pointing out the worthlessness of this title. I'm sorry it hurts your feelings. I'm just telling the truth.

The point of the Abandoned Championship is that it guarantees the fans an interesting match and keeps the champion on his toes.

If you really can't stand the title, I am sure there are plenty of people who'd love to take it from you.

Oh boy, here we go again.

Hey, shut up. I wasn't doing a damn thing this time.

You were being aggressively angry again.

I'LL SHOW YOU AGGRESSIVELY ANGRY YOU PANSY ASSED MOTHER FU--

*Damien pauses, takes a deep breath, pulls a zippo lighter from his pocket and starts flipping it open and closed repeatedly*

You are so lucky you have me around to control your anger problems.

Damien's To-Do List

1. Buy a wooden table.

2. Buy lighter fluid.

3. Drive tag team partner through flaming table if we lose the tag scramble simply for the "lulz".

My will left with a lawyer in case of burning table-related fatality

Step 1: Make Gray Inferno logo, my name in red, Damien's in hot pink

Step 2: Sell Gray Inferno thongs on FMWShop.com

Step 3: Since I'm otherwise occupied with being injured/dead, Damien will have to sell it on live TV in my place

Step 4: Use proceeds to buy a new car.

Damien wrote:

The point of the Abandoned Championship is that it guarantees the fans an interesting match and keeps the champion on his toes.

Did I say anywhere that I don't enjoy being champion? No. I love this belt. I'm just being realistic.

Mind your own beeswax.

Make me.

Translation: GIVE DAMIEN TITLE SHOT.

Damien, for real, focus on tonight's match, not the stuff after, yeah?

YEARS IN THE MAKING BAH GAWD

Nicholas Gray wrote:

Translation: GIVE DAMIEN TITLE SHOT.

Damien, for real, focus on tonight's match, not the stuff after, yeah?

I said no such thing. Ass.

Nicholas Gray wrote:

Translation: GIVE DAMIEN TITLE SHOT.

Damien, for real, focus on tonight's match, not the stuff after, yeah?

If you guys win the tag belts (and out of anyone, I guess I'd be rooting for you... you or whoever is teamed with Trey), please focus on them. Okay? You know what sucks? One half of the tag champs being pre-occupied with a singles belt. That's part of the reason why Austin/O'Rion were arguably the worst thing to happen to the tag belts since the "One person holds both belts" debacle.

Seriously, they're getting to Abandoned Title territory. There hasn't been a good storyline around the belts in... shit, I don't even know how long.