FMW presents Catalyst 2008 Pre-Show - RESULTS

cat·a·lyst/(ktl-st)/-noun
1. A substance, usually used in small amounts relative to the reactants, that modifies and increases the rate of a reaction without being consumed in the process.
2. One that precipitates a process or event

Paradise City by Guns N’ Roses blasts through the PA system as Steven Bolton makes his way out of the curtain and onto the ramp.

Son of Repoman: This show gets underway with two of alchemy’s combatants going head to head in whats sure to be a fight for position.

Edible: What position? Who gets to carry the bags? Whee! Lets face it, these two are still looking up at the bottom of the barrel. The only thing they have going for them now is that this isn’t a hardcore spotfest. God I hate garbage wrestling.

SoR: That’s a lie, and you know it.

When Bolton enters the ring Corky Angle rushes down behind him, not waiting for his music. He attempts to ambush Bolton, but as he slides into the ring Bolton begins laying the boots down to him.

SoR: Terrible idea there by the gold medalist. I really don’t know what he was thinking.

Edible: Well, Special Olympic gold medalist. That might be a clue.

SoR: Bolton is really working Corky well with a series of rights and lefts, oh! Snap suplex! Look, Bolton rolls through, face buster! Leg drop to the back of the head! Genius maneuver!

Edible: This isn’t a fair fight. Its like asking an Anarchy member to take on an Alchemy member in a real wrestling match! How one sided.

SoR: Hardly, Edible. Nevermind the fact that the red brand has produced every Full Metal Champion in our companies history?

Edible: Im sorry, I don’t listen to propaganda.

SoR: Back in the ring, Bolton is clearly dominating this match but, OH! Corky Angle with a rake to the eyes! He’s up, shoots off the ropes! Clothesline! He shoots back again, NO! BOLTON WITH A FLAPJACK!

Edible: Wow. I thought for a second this could turn into a real match. Guess not.

SoR: Bolton is displaying amazing prowess in the ring! Corky stumbles up, he turns to Bolton, BAD IDEA! BOLTON HITS THE SPIRAL DESCENT! COVER!

Edible: I almost feel bad for Corky. Almost.

SoR: ONE, TWO, THREE! ITS OVER!

Buster Cherry: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner, STEVEN BOLTON!

BOLTON: 7.35 aps - 0.1 penalty + 1.9 avs = 9.15 total
CORKY ANGLE: 0 aps + 0 avs = 0

As Bolton climbs the turnbuckles to celebrate a furious Corky Angle pulls him down. The two stare down each other before Corky punches Bolton in the face with his medal.

SoR: What is this! Corky claims Bolton held the tights! That’s untrue!

Edible: CRIPPLE FIGHT!

Suddenly, a man charges in from backstage and slides into the ring, leaping at Corky and taking him down.

Edible: Who the hell is this guy?

SoR: That’s not just anyone, Edible, that’s recent FMW Signee Ashe Matthews, aka The Crow! He’s here to even the odds and-

Repo cuts out mid sentence as a behemoth man leaps over the barricade and slides into the ring, taking out Bolton and Matthews.

Edible: HEY! THAT’S MATT FORD! WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?

SoR: It looks to me like he’s kicking ass! What is going on!?

As Ford is brawling in the ring with the other three men, another man rushes out from the curtain and charges into the ring diving wildly at Matt Ford

SoR: Who is thi-

Edible: That’s Apostasy! He must have signed with FMW too! There is now 5 men in this ring, brawling!

SoR: I think we may need sec-

Suddenly, two more men rush through the crowd and jump the guard rail, immediately charging in and laying blows to everyone.

SoR: That’s Tommy Strife and Scott Oliver Steele! What the hell is going on here!?

Edible: It seems everyone wants to make an impact in FMW! Look!

As the collective group of men continues to grow, another pair of men rush out from backstage.

SoR: That’s Zakk Wylde and Leo The-Game! They’re new FMW signees as well!

Edible: Yes, please, invite them all in. We need more people out here! WAIT! LOOK AT THE RAMP!

SoR: There’s nobody there…

Edible: I was hoping to guess right.

Back in the ring all the men are in a straight up brawl and its every man for themselves. Slowly, but surely, a few members of the group are tossed out of the ring, only to be followed by other new FMW signees. Eventually, the mass of people is able to take each other out of the ring and up the ramp backstage.

Edible: Jesus what a disgusting display of new guys.

SoR: You know this sort of action isn’t going to go unnoticed. I want to know how management is going to answer this issue!









The C-4 Title. The pinnacle of Full Metal Wrestling Alchemy's crop. The best of the best in technical prowess and in ring ability, that was, until, the belt was moved over to Anarchy.

Now Drew Michaels takes on incumbant Hostyle to complete both his personal goals and brand ambitions in his attempt to knock down one of the most prolific C-4 champions in history to bring the C-4 belt to its rightful home, Alchemy. Or is that home around the waist of Hostyle?

Blow by Atreyu hits the PA system as Sean Jensen makes his way out of the curtain and down the ramp.

Buster Cherry: The following contest is a triple threat match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Sacramento, California, this is SEAN- JEEEEENSEEEEN!

SoR: A rousing chorus of boos for the young superstar.

Edible: Its probably because he dresses like a prick.

Shadow by Burden Brothers cuts off Jensen’s music as Savant makes his way out from backstage.

SoR: There was some controversy around this character, who had been in FMW over a year ago and had been replaced by another Savant when he was injured.

Edible: Yeah, I heard he was dead.

SoR: No you didn’t.

Edible: Yeah, I totally did.

Dust in the Wind by Kansas Blasts through the speakers and the crowd jumps to their feet as The Notorious B.U.G makes his way down the ramp.

SoR: And here’s the largest man in the match, the Notorious B.U.G!

Edible: Whats he so notorious for? Being deformed and retarded?

SoR: You’re ridiculous.

Edible: No, the fact that these people like this BUG guy is ridiculous.

As BUG slides into the ring, Savant and Jensen immediately begin to take him over, stomping him on the ground.

Edible: That’s what he gets.

SoR: Savant and Jensen utilizing a good, but a little unethical, strategy here.

Edible: Don’t give me that crap, Repo. You know it’s a genius move, almost standard in a sense, to take out the biggest threat. BUG is bigger than these gentlemen by a good hundred pounds.

SoR: No he’s not.

Edible: Ok, but he’s a fatass, you get it.

Sean and Savant lift BUG and toss him off the ropes. As BUG bounces back they hit him with a double clothesline, then Savant uses Jensens shoulders to land a moonsault on BUG.

SoR: Savant and Jensen using some good team work here.

Edible: Too bad there can be only one winner, cause Jensen kicks Savant off right away!

SoR: Jensen with a right! Savant with a right! Jensen with a right! Savant with a right!

Edible: BUG WITH A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!

The crowd erupts once more as BUG is back up and launches his attack.

SoR: BUG IS UP! Jensen down! Savant down! Scoop slam to Jensen! Chokeslam to Savant! Elbow Drop to Jensen! Leg drop on Savant! BUG is on a roll!

Edible: This is ridiculous.

SoR: You were just excited to see him up!

Edible: Untrue.

In the ring, BUG is on fire as he stomps on Savant and Jensen. He turns to play to the crowd as Jensen pulls himself up with the ropes.

SoR: BUG is in control and the crowd loves it!

Edible: Watch out for Jensen! LOW BLOW!

Jensen lands a low blow on BUG, who turns around, his face beet red.

SoR: Jensen shouldn’t have done that! BUG is FURIOUS!

Edible: Does the man not have testicles!?

SoR: A flurry of punches to Jensen! OH! JENSEN IS DOWN AND BUSTED OPEN! BUG TURNS TO SAVANT! SAVANT DOESN’T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH BUG, BUT HE HAS NO CHOICE! BUG WITH A RIGHT TO SAVANT! A LEFT! A RIGHT AGAIN! HE WHIPS SAVANT INTO THE TURNBUCKLE!

Edible: Oh God. Don’t encourage him, Repo.

SoR: BUG lifts Jensen! He whips him into the turnbuckle too! Jensen slams into Savant! BUG CHARGES IN TOO! HE CRUSHES THEM! Jensen falls back, SAVANT DROPS RIGHT ON TOP OF HIM!

Edible: Oh lord, what is this man doing now?

SoR: BUG is going up top? BUG IS GOING UP TOP! HE LEAPS! FLAYING BUG SPLASH FROM THE GIANT ONTO BOTH MEN! HE COVERS THEM FOR THE PIN! One, Two, THREE! ITS OVER!

Buster Cherry: Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner, the Notorious B. U. G!

Notorious B.U.G. 7.33 aps + 1.9 avs = 9.23 total
Savant 0 aps + 0 avs = 0
Sean 0 aps + 0 avs = 0

BUG leaps up as the crowd cheers him on. Suddenly, Butters runs out from behind the curtain and into the ring, cheering and hugging BUG and lifting his arm in victory. Buggers exit the ring and walk up the ramp together, the cheers of the fans accompanying them.







Lights. Camera. Action. The telelvision title represents something few superstars can lay claim to, being the best there is on T.V. While it is arguable the title really denotes such a claim, don't tell that to the men involved, or the "mediator".

Mercutio, aka: O'Rion, has undergone one of the strangest changes in FMW, but his career so far has continued to soar as the HavOc superstar recently defeated formerly-thought-unbeatable champion Mass Caesar. In one of the great upsets of Full Metal Wrestling, Mercutio claimed his first singles gold in FMW and looks only to improve.

That is, if the young superstar Chris Kelson doesn't get in the way. The hot young upstart has taken on a diverse array of talents in FMW, even teaming with C-4 champion Hostyle. At Anarchy 7.4, Kelson got the best of the biggest and strongest roster member in Ash Strife only to have his glory robbed when Ash chose to hit Kelson with a chair, giving him the win. Kelson is on a mission, and has said that he will not have his glory robbed again. Will he be able to topple the toppler?

"Mr. Jack" by System of a Down hits the speakers, marking the entrance of FMW's resident insomniac Jack Eastwood. He slaps hands with the fans as he makes his way down to the ring

Cherry: This bout is set for one fall! Making his way to the ring, from Blackpool, England, weighing in at 280 pounds, he is THE SYSTEM, he is JAAAAAAAACK EASTWOOD!

S.O.R.: This is going to be a great match between these two competitors, don't you think Edible?

Edible: Meh, I've seen better.

S.O.R.: That's it? No witty comments?

Edible: Not worth using them here.

As Eastwood finishes posing on the turnbuckle, the song changes to “The Lasting Dose” by Crowbar. The camera pans the crowd, and we find Trey Spruance coming out of the crowd.

S.O.R.: Was he sitting in the crowd, waiting for his match?

Edible: Most likely, and he's probably already high as a kite.

S.O.R.: Didn't you watch his promo? He quit.

Edible: Once a druggie, always a druggie.

Trey slides in to the ring, glaring at Eastwood.

Cherry: And hailing from Eureka, California, weighing in at 220 pounds, he is THE DUDE, TREEEEEEEEEYY SPRUUUUUUUUUUUUUANCE!

Buster Cherry gets out of the ring and the referee calls for the bell.

S.O.R.: These two men staring each other down, and Eastwood offers a handshake!

Edible: Which is turned down by Spruance via a slap to the face.

S.O.R.: Spruance around Eastwood's back, and rolls him up! And he kicks out before the ref gets to one.

Edible: And Eastwood not too happy with that trickery. However, I say it was a great way to start things off for Trey.

S.O.R.: Eastwood up now, and a slap of his own to Trey's face.

Edible: Not cool!

S.O.R.: Eastwood grabs Trey now, Irish whips him across the ring. Clothesline attempt, ducked by Trey. Trey back across, jumping bulldog to The System. Cover!

1...

Kickout!

Edible: You can't get a cover that soon in the match on a big man like Eastwood.

S.O.R.: Insightful analysis from you?

Edible: No, just friendly advise to Trey.

S.O.R.: Typical. Eastwood up now, and a huge punch to Trey's temple! Trey responds.

Edible: Trey won't win a fistfight with the big man.

S.O.R.: More advise?

Edible: Yeah.

S.O.R.: And Eastwood is winning the fight, and he has Trey resting on the ropes! He backs up, and he hits Forest! The Cactus Clothesline over the ropes and both men are on the outside!

Edible: Damn. Get up, druggie!

S.O.R.: And the ref is beginning his count.

1...

2...

Edible: And Eastwood up, dragging Trey with him, irish whip into the steel steps! Disqualify him!

3...

4...

S.O.R.: You never get it, do you. Eastwood poses to the fans, and a massive pop for him! Lazily, he slides in the ring and rests on the ring ropes. But watch out for Trey!

Edible: My man Spruance!

S.O.R.: Trey got up and pulled Jack's feet out from under him! He hit the canvas face first, and now Trey's inside the ring, and Eastwood is the odd man out!

5...

6...

7...

8...

Edible: And Eastwood better get in soon!

9...

S.O.R.: And he does, barely, but Trey now, laying the boots on him.

Edible: And Trey drags him the the middle of the ring, he's going for the Figure of Four, the Figure Four Leglock!

S.O.R.: But Eastwood boots him off. Trey off the ropes now, and a huge rising clothesline from the big man! Trey up groggily now, and Eastwood grabs him by the throat! Sad Statue! Chokeslam connects!

Edible: No!

S.O.R.: Cover now by Eastwood, this could be it!

Edible: Kickout, druggie!

1...

2...

Kickout!

S.O.R.: Eastwood thought he had it, and so did the fans! Wait, what was that?!

Edible: A thumb to the eye by Trey, classic trickery.

S.O.R.: Eastwood, stumbling around blindly, Superkick! Superkick by Trey! Cover!

1...

2...

Kickout!

Edible: I counted to three. What a slow count!

S.O.R.: You can count to three?

Edible: Shush.

S.O.R.: Trey up now, trying to put away Eastwood. Picking Jack up, he backs him against the ropes, tries to Irish whip him across. Countered by Eastwood, and he runs into a Big Boot by Eastwood! Deer Dance connects, and he has the match in his hands!

Edible: Deer Dance? Really?

S.O.R.: It's a System of a Down song.

Edible: You think, genius?

S.O.R.: Jack wasting no time now, going for X, his signature X-Plex! But Trey spins out!

Edible: Trey counters!

S.O.R.: He's got the arms hooked! Double Arm DDT! He got it!

Edible: He got it, it's over!

1...

2...

3!

Trey Spruance: 8.1 aps + 1.2 avs = 9.3 total
Jack Eastwood: 7.95 aps + 0.7 avs = 8.65 total

S.O.R.: Stop stealing my goddamn counts...and an excellent match from these two competitors.








Cancer.Something evil or malignant that spreads destructively. Cactus Sam. Mortus. something evil or malignant that spreads destructively.

These two have been the albatross leading to the destruction of nearly every team in Full Metal Wrestling. Many have opposed, all have fallen. These two seem unstopable...

But, who knows what happens when confronted with a little HavOc? Syanide and Mercutio have been stabled together for some time now, and continue to show that HavOc is not just physically strong, but emotionally damaging. They continue to prove their name and leave everything in their wake in a state of chaos.What will happen when these two forces collide?

Cutting back to the ring, Jake Woods is already presently in the ring, awaiting his opponent. He doesn’t have to wait long as Insane by Prozak and Insane Clown Posse blasts through the speakers and Hatchet comes out from the crowd, tossing Faygo Sodas to the audience.

SoR: And here comes Hatchet Ryda!

Edible: God, I hate clowns.

SoR: You may, but the fans don’t!

As Hatchet finally gets to the ring he charges in, and Woods slides out.

SoR: It looks like Woods doesn’t want a piece of the Hardcore Juggalo!

Edible: He probably hasn’t bathed in weeks. He’s running from the smell.

SoR: Hatchet walks over to the side of the ring and, OH!

Edible: GENIUS!

SoR: Woods was playing possum! He hits Hatchet in the face with a trash can! He tosses in the weapon and a half dozen more fall out of it!

Edible: Stop sign, trash can lid, kendo stick, bat. What a waste of a match. This isn’t wrestling, its garbage!

Back in the ring, Woods slides in and lays down some blows on Hatchet before dropping the trashcan on him again.

SoR: Things aren’t looking too good for Hatchet here as Woods seems to be in control.

Edible: This type of garbage wrestling makes me sick. This form of match should be banned from our sport!

SoR: Ok, you keep crying in the corner, I’m going to enjoy the slugfest.

Woods plays to the crowd as Hatchet lays on the canvas. When Woods turns, however, he is met with a boot to the gut from Hatchet who then grabs the stop sign and crashes it down over Woods’ head repeatedly.

SoR: Hatchet is demolishing that stop sign over Woods’ head! Look at it bend! He’s really going to town!

Hatchet then drops the stop sign and DDTs Woods right into it.

SoR: DDT ONTO THE STOP SIGN! Hatchet is on a roll!

Edible: Great. Just great. Listen to these peons erupt! Why? Why do people like these things? Its disgusting and barbaric.

SoR: Hatchet grabs the kendo stick!

Edible: Look at him demolish that man! That’s another human being!

SoR: He’s like Hammerin’ Hank! Babe Ruth!

Edible: Or Jose Canseco!

SoR: Boo.
As Hatchet brings down the Kendo stick repeatedly on Woods’ body, Woods tries to roll out of the ring, but not before the kendo stick splinters on him from the blows.

SoR: Hatchet broke the kendo stick over him! Look at the welts on Woods’ body!

Edible: This is barbaric and wrong!

SoR: Look at this! Hatchet grabbed the trash can lid and leapt over the top rope! He’s crashed down right over Woods! Hatchet’s looking under the ring now, HES GOT A FIRE EXTINGUISHER! HE SPRAYS WOODS IN THE EYES AND SMASHES THE CANISTER OVER HIS HEAD! WOODS IS BUSTED OPEN!

Edible: This is so wrong. THAT’S A SAFETY DEVICE! NOT A WEAPON OF DESTRUCTION!

SoR: Everything is a weapon of destruction, Edible!

Woods blindly slides back in the ring and Hatchet looks under the ring once more. He pulls out a cardboard box and holds it high.

SoR: What is in that box!

Edible: I don’t even want to know.

SoR: You may not, Edible, but the crowd does, and Hatchet deliv- oh my god!

Edible: Oh, for Christ sakes!

Hatchet opens the box and pulls out a large roll of Barbed Wire from inside. He separates the roll into two and proceeds to wrap one of them around the top rope before sliding back into the ring.

SoR: Hatchet has covered the top rope with barbed wire! Woods is just now getting the foam from the extinguisher out of his eyes!

Edible: Don’t turn around, Woods! Run away, fast!

SoR: Too bad he cant hear you, Edible, because he just got a face full of trashcan!

Edible: Oh damn.

SoR: Hatchet is stalking his prey, WAIT! NO! WOODS WITH A LOW BLOW! Hatchet is sent reeling back! Woods charges, NO! HATCHET WITH A FLAPJACK AND WOODS GOES THROAT FIRST ON THE BARBED WIRE! WOODS IS BLEEDING FROM THE THROAT!

Edible: I think Im gonna be sick. This is barbaric and wrong.

SoR: Hatchet tosses in the second spool of wire and puts it on the trashcan! Woods turns, clutching his neck! WITCHING HOUR ONTO THE BARBEDWIRE TRASH CAN! REVERSE STO! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH HATCHET!

Hatchet shoots up and throws his arms in the air as the ref checks on Jake Woods, who is bleeding profusely from the head and neck. He throws up the X sign and leans out of the ring, talking to Cherry

Buster Cherry: Ladies and Gentlemen your winner due to ref stoppage, HATCHET RYDA!


Hatchet Ryda 7.67 aps - 0.1 penalty + 1.5 avs = 9.07 total
Jake Woods 0 aps + 0 avs = 0

The EMTs come down as Hatchet’s music begins playing again. They place Woods on a stretcher and carry him backstage to be tended to as Hatchet plays to the crowd.

SoR: What a vicious match. I cant believe what we just saw!

Edible: Nor can I. This is ridiculous! Ban garbage wrestling!







Theres nothing like going back to your roots, and when your roots are soaked with blood and violence, its always good clean fun.

The 15 Minute Massacre has been a staple of Full Metal Wrestling Anarchy since the shows inception. A brutal battle pitting any number of superstars against each other in a fight that would make Roman gladiators cringe.

In an environment full of chaos, the one man who may have an advantage is Harlequin, current ultraviolent champion and member of HavOc. Harlequin has been known through his career to be a violent maniac, and this match will only prove his worth. Up against 7 other men, including former champions such as Boice and first ever Ultraviolent champion War Machine, the HavOc superstar surely has his skills put to the test this evening. Who will come out on top?

Cherry: This is your Catalyst pre-show featured contest! Scheduled for one fall, this match is for the Television Tag Titles! Introducing first, weighing in at a combined 445 pounds and representing the Silver Pistols, they are the challengers... MICHAEL JAMES AND ROBERT PEARSON!

The two non-title holders of the Silver Pistols make their way down the ramp, cheering and slapping hands with the fans, to the sounds of Scream Aim Fire by Bullet for My Valentine They step into the ring and climb turnbuckles, raising their fists into the air.

SoR: Alright, it's time for the pre-show main event, tag team action! You geared up for this one, Edible?

Edible: Creative Control will win.

SoR: What? No, I'm not asking who you think will win, I'm asking if-

Edible. Creative. Control. Will. Win.

Cherry: And the current reigning Television Tag Team champions... they are accompanied to the ring by their manager, T. Ekstreme, weighing in at a combined 470 pounds, they are... CREATIVE CONTROL!

Jet Black New Year by Thursday screams out of the PA as Steve-E and Slegnadamus make their may towards the ring, T. Ekstreme behind them. Abruptly they are surprised to be bullrushed by James and Pearson taking the fight to them. Ekstreme dives out of the way behind the announcers' table.

SoR: Woah! The Pistols are going for it right from the off! They want these belts really bad!

Edible: That's cheating! They can't do that! The bell hasn't even rung yet!

SoR: You wouldn't be complaining if Creative Control had made the same move.

Edible: This is true, but then again Creative Control are actually worth two cents unlike the Silver Pissy-o's.

SoR: I'm not even going to dignify that insult with a response. The Pistols take Steve-E and Slegna and toss them into the ring, then climb in themselves!

Edible: And the bell rings, finally! You ok back there, Mr Ekstreme?

Ekstreme: Did anyone catch the license plate on that van?

SoR: Well it's good to see his mental health hasn't been impaired. James and Steve-E in the ring in a lock-up, Steve-E breaks and makes a dash for the ropes, but James manhandles him and takes him overhead... and down backwards for a falling Northern Lights suplex! Michael is quickly back up and grips Steve-E by the hair-

Edible: The girl.

SoR: -and drags him over to his partner who makes the tag. James keeps Steve-E held there as Pearson steps between the ropes and violently jabs him in the ribs with a jab of his elbows!

Edible: Dirty freaking I-talians.

SoR: You mean Italians, Eddy, and the only reason you think they're dirty is because they're on the opposing team to your beloved Creative Control!

Edible: See? I said they were lowbrow scum! Just look at them! Pearson's chopping away at Steve-E's chest and James is screaming at him to do it harder!

SoR: An action I'm sure you're all too familiar with...

Edible: Fuck you. Steve-E's looking tired, I think he wants to make the tag!

SoR: But Pearson won't let him as he Spears him to the floor!

Edible: That Spear that's primarily used by Goldberg, and is a separate move from the Gore, used mainly by Rhino?

SoR: Exactly!

Edible: Pearson on the mat, he has Steve-E locked in a rear naked choke hold!

SoR: And listen to Slegna howling for Steve-E to break the hold! He's struggling... extending one arm... and he's got a hold of the ropes with his hand!

Edible: Pearson releases him and casually strolls over to Michael James to make the tag! I hate to admit this, but the Silver Pistols are really taking it to Creative Control tonight! Come on boys, show your fire!

Ekstreme: Preach it to me brother!

SoR: No talking in the back there. James makes a nod to Pearson as he steps between the ropes, I think they may be setting up for a double team maneuver! Michael drags Steve-E to his feet and sits him on the turnbuckle.

Edible: Pearson's slipped into the ring, he's getting fired up by – jumping up and down? Tool.

SoR: He's just building momentum, but for what? James crouches down as Pearson runs and – OH MY GOD!

Edible: Woah! Pearson nailed Steve-E with a stiff dropkick, using James as a boost! Steve-E went sailing into the guard rail, it looks like he mangled his back pretty bad! We may need some EMTs out here!

SoR: And both the ref and Ekstreme have ran over to check on Steve! They exchange words, I'm not entirely sure if he will be able to continue... it doesn't look good, aside from his lips he's not moving! The referee has stood up now and is calling both Slegna and Cherry over. Seems to me that Steve-E's out.

Edible: C'mon, Steve, fight through the pain... Creative Control are talking amongst themeselves... Buster Cherry has the microphone now, I believe he's about to make an announcement!

Cherry uses a walkie talkie to call out the EMTs from the back. They approach Steve-E and put him on the stretcher, carrying him up the ramp.

SoR: Holy hell, Slegna's got his work cut out for him now!

Edible: You think about it, just a moment ago he was raring to get into the match, and now he's probably more worried about his tag partner!

EMTs have come out bearing a stretcher and are carrying Steve-E to the back,with T. Ekstreme accompanying him. Slowly, the crowd, Slegna, and even the Silver Pistols applaud him for all his hard work in the early stages of the match.

SoR: Back to the action. Slegna is looking out for his partner, Steve-E, and Pearson sneaks in with the quick roll-up! One, tw- not enough.

Edible: That's disgraceful! Slegna's worrying and Pearson tries to sneak up on him!

SoR: I'm sure you'd call it good tactics if he or Steve-E tried it...

Edible: But Steve-E can't do it, can he shithead, because in case you hadn't noticed HE JUST GOT FUCKING PARALYSED!

SoR: Alright, keep your cock in your pants. Pearson hits Slegna with a German Suplex, who retaliates with an neckbreaker! Slegna's looking fresh here!

Edible: Take it to him Sleg! Win those belts! He bounces off the ropes as Pearson drops to one knee and connects with a picture-perfect Shining Wizard!

SoR: Dragon Suplex! And Slegna turns it round into a pin! One, two- not yet.

Edible: Slegna goes to pick Pearson up, but he strikes Slegna on the chest with some wicked knife-edge chops! He dashes off towards the ropes near his partner!

SoR: Slegna gives chase however, and is met by a springboard leap from James! Wait, did Pearson make the tag?

Edible: It seems he knocked with James as he ran over! James is legal! Irish whip into the turnbuckle! And James hits a Stinger splash!

SoR: James picks up the prone Seer and positions him on the turnbuckle! He's climbing up and hits Slegna with lefts and rights!

Crowd: One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six!

Edible: Instinctively Slegna throws a haymaker and glances James! He's falling backwards!

SoR: But look! He's got his feet caught behind Sleg's head, and he flips down to the mat in a hurricanrana! James drapes his arm over Slegna! One, two, th- we're getting there...

Edible: Slegna pulls himself to his feet and pulls James up with him. Eye Opener! James drops right back down to the mat! Slegna runs to the ropes, bounces and connects with a diving lariat! Cover! One, two, th- he almost had him there! I can't believe that wasn't it!

SoR: It seems Slegna can't either! He gets up to argue with the referee and James makes the chance to get the tag in!

Edible: Hah! The ref had his back turned to Sleg and didn't see the tag and is sending Pearson back out! He's shrugging and nodding, the pussy.

SoR: Don't call him that!

Edible: Sorry, I forgot you were the pussy in your relationship.

SoR: James steps into the ring and Slegna dashes over, trying to hit Michael with a right jab, but he gets his arm caught by James and Pearson slaps his back for the tag! He's legal!

Edible: Pearson jumps in over the top rope and slams Slegna's arm down with a vicious Polish Hammer! Then he grips the arm he just hit and locks Sleg in an armbar! He can't be legal!

SoR: But he is, unlike the Thai rentboys you sleep with! And James slingshots and hits Slegna's arm with a Mushroom stomp, then locks in an armbar again!

Edible: …

SoR: ...what?

Edible: That last comment was uncalled for, you know the true story about that incident.

SoR: What, that you supposedly had a 'house party' and you awoke to find him naked next to you?

Edible: Yes!

SoR: Forgive me if I call bullshit on that one. James has now Irish whipped Slegna to the ropes, Slegna comes bouncing back and connects with a stiff clothesline! He positions James up for the... Psychic Vision! He makes the cover on the now fallen James! One, two, thr- so, so close...

Edible: A really strong showing by Slegna here, I'm amazed he's managed to last this long on his own!

SoR: James manages to roll over to Pearson and make the tag, who comes running in to meet an inverted atomic drop! Pearson is forced to buckle over! Ouch.

Edible: Slegna runs to the ropes and rebounds towards Pearson, it looks like he's going for an axe kick variant of some sort... but he runs right past Pearson and instead collides with James, a Kesagiri chop between them!

SoR: You'd better watch out though Sleg! He turns around... right into the recovered Pearson, and he has Slegna caught! He sets up and hits the Prison Break! He makes the cover! One!

Edible: NOO!!

SoR: Two!

Edible: Fuck!

SoR: Three?

Edible: Huh?

SoR: Did Slegna get his shoulder up in time? No! The referee is calling for the bell!


Michael James and Robert Pearson: (7.85 aps - 0.1 + 8.15 aps - 0.1 + 1.5 avs = 17.3 total)
Slegnadamus and Steve-E Taylor: (7.18 aps - 0.1 penalty + 0.0 aps + 7.18 aaps + 0.4 avs = 14.66 total)


Edible: Bullocks, I can't believe Creative Control have lost...

SoR: Fair play to Slegna though, the guy put his heart and soul into that match, even after Steve-E was crippled on the barrier. Somehow I think if Steve-E hadn't been taken out, this match could have gone differently.

Edible: Tell me about it. That was a really brutal move by the Silver Pistols.

SoR: I don't think they meant for Steve-E to collide with the barrier.

Edible: I'm telling you now, it was a called shot. These guys are dirty players.

SoR: Figures you'd say that. You do realise what this means for the Silver Pistols though, don't you?

Edible: Yeah, they're a bunch of assholes.

SoR: No, you dick, every member of the faction holds a title!

Edible: Oh yeah, because these guys just won, and Romeo Vizzini has the Abandoned title...

SoR: Though he may not after tonight!

Edible: That's right, so to everyone at home, you'd better start ringing up to see among other things, our main event for the evening, the Full Metal Wrestling Championship three-way! Featuring the rematch man, John 'Doc' Derrick; versus the people's choice, Nick Bryson; and of course the champion, Christian G. Smitten!

SoR: Well that about wraps things up for our Catalyst pre-show! I've been Son of Repoman!

Edible: And he's been a massive disappointment and I'm Edible. See you soon!








Champion.Golden. Bastard. C.G.Smitten personifies these descriptors to the T. Utilizing his Gold Card victory at the most opportune time, Smitten was able to defeat John "Doc" Derrick and obtain the ultimate prize in our industry, the Full Metal Championship. Smitten has worked his way from beloved fan favorite, to jackass lawyer, and the didvidens are unfortunately paying off.

However, there is no rule in any book to protect you against the wrath of a man scorned, and "Doc" fits that bill. Having his title robbed of him and his close friend turning on him has taken a toll on the man, even if he refuses to admit it. Always proud, Doc has sworn to fight to the last man if need be to get back what he deserves and looks to take down the treacherous Smitten in a fair fight. Derrick has the heart and desire to become the champion, but with his recent losses, does he have the right mindstate?

Again the Catalyst card throws the combatants a curve as the seemingly "odd man out" Nick Bryson had been voted in by the public. The only man to defeat every Full Metal Champion, Bryson has continued his struggle to emerge from his successful cousins' shadow and shine as his own star. With the people seemingly behind him, what impact will Bryson have on this match, because only one of these three men can walk out Catalyst as Champion.