Well this week really did challenge each tribes ability to follow certain rules and to be a worth contributor. Some men took this chance to excel in their new tribes and make lasting impressions, whereas some members (one member) chose to make enemies from the word go...
However the week is done, the stories have been compiled, read and duely rated. So now let us see what the final two tribes produced:The Sex Panthers & HOIBSC: Our story begins with a mystical journey involving four men of immense business knowledge. Then, one day as they walk through a rundown neighborhood, these four men come to a startling revelation; none are wearing pants. "That's odd," a member of their group replied, " when there's an eclipse, usually only I lose my pants."
"Good Lord," a second member said, "This pants-less scenario we are in could damage our immense reputation!" "I wouldn't worry about it" said one guy, "that guy's been pant-less for years, not to mention also loosing his butt cherries multiple times" causing that man to go speechless. Then they realized that his speechlessness wasn't from his public closet-outing, but from a mercenary that had snuck into their scenario.
Our first member of this group took it upon himself to challenge him with a question; "What has brought you here, Mr. Mercenary?" Said mercenary looks around, puzzled "I was drawn here when I saw an eclipse from a distance, seems like it's gone now though". Their ever so interesting conversation was cut short, as an explosion rocked their ears, seemingly only a few hundred feet away; All five men looked confused, not knowing what had just happened.
Then, like flicking on a switch, Mr. Mercenary burst into laughter, adding: "So it begins as", then leaps forward, refusing to complete his sentence to avoid use of a full stop despite his obvious grammatical error.
A moment of uncomfortable silence washes over as they each roll their eyes as the mercenary fades into obscurity, prompting one man to reply "Well this has been quite uneventful, rather pointless really" Sir Mercenary looks disgusted as he looks over the crowd, determination in his eyes, "You dare question my methods?"
A galient effort however some rules were broken...
- The word "the" was used twice during this superstory.
- There was no MS Paint picture.
- The words "Monopoly" & "Drop-bear" were not used.
So with that taken into account, We as the judging panel have rated this piece a 6.3/10, however with a 0.5 penalty for each rule in relation to the required words and the MS Paint and a 0.1 penalty for the forbidden words broken totalling -1.7, their total score is 4.6/10
Now onto their opponents...The Church & The Efron Hair Haters:Kelson, Kelson come here quick, I think I found something that will blow your mind!
Hearing his name being called out, Kelson stood up from his chair, leaving a Monopoly play board behind, before walking up to Harlequin, a puzzled look on his face.
As Kelson comes closer to Harlequin, he begins to wonder what this outburst was about.
Only to know seconds later as he comes close enough to see Harlequin charging about, a helmet adorning his head, brandishing a knife to defend himself from a descending horde of Drop-Bear. Drop-Bear Mercenary, to be precise, emitting rainbow sparks, as well as singing Care Bears songs spookily, for some reason. Bombs made of Cherries flew from Kelson's hands, as he came charging towards a newly appearing horde of Drop-Bears, exploding in every direction drawing attention towards himself. With every oversized carnivorous Koala now looking towards him, Kelson drew a lightsaber from his back pocket, igniting it in mid-air before slashing through a number of beasts.
As Kelson bathes himself in vile koala blood due to his own blood lust in battle, he hears yet another cry for help coming from within a mass of drop-bear corpses as if someone were trapped inside. Suddenly, he sees silhouetted in pale light from a passing eclipse, Harlequin's hand, who he had seemingly forgotten trapped under several slashed up corpses. Harlequin's hand, as we are about to find out, is also still connected to his body, as it emerges from stink, as well as grime with a mighty, testosterone-filled "HOO-AH!" His emergence looked remarkably similar to this:
Even though his emerging comrade was only a few feet away, Kelson leaped high up in the air before landing right next to Harlequin, his lightsaber still active.
Kelson, not quite being a pro at a lighsaber since fancy things like electricity or batteries have not found their way to French Canada, unfortunately only manages to slice off Harlequin's left arm up to his elbow with what he thought was a badass trick while blood from this new wound only served to attract more of those vicious drop-bears to their vicinity. Screaming Harlequin ran about waving his arm around wildly as he bled, painting Kelson's eyes with blood, leaving our intrepid semi-hero unawares to a coming drop bear attack, with no help in sight.
Blinded by blood in his eyes, our French-Canadian hero trips on a banana, surreptitiously left there for comedic effect, it seems... have we mentioned that there is an incoming drop-bear mob? Luckily for our one-armed villain, along with his blinded semi-hero there was hope on the way in the form of a group of professional Zombie Killers who moonlighted as Drop-Bear hunters.
After a close inspection, our rag-tag group of warriors realized that a small, green creature had assumed a leader's position within their opponent's ranks; Yoda, wielding a green lightsaber, arrived near our heroes' locations before holding his hand out, effectively using "Force Choke" on his Lightsaber-wielding-French-Canadian counterpart. Yoda's dominance lasts but a second though as those astonishing Zombiekillers surge forward with weapons drawn to overpower George Lucas's green little Muppet with their relevance scoreboards of doom. Like a tidal wave, Zombiekiller vengeance rains down upon a defenseless Yoda with his drop bear commandos. Alas, although it seems like game over for our little, green, scaly nemesis, another supporting character joins in on Yoda's side to increase our heroes' difficulty - Jedi Master Mace Windu, mothafucka!
As our token black character makes his appearance scoreboards were tossed skywards, inadvertently decapitating a group of Drop-Bears too terrified to take part in all previous attacks. Finally gathering what remains of his forces, our French-Canadian warrior grabs a hold of his lightsaber before rushing back to battle, determined to put an end to this conflict.
Kelson rushes directly towards Mace Windu with lightsaber drawn in contention stance, both men prepared to do epic battle. Two burning blades clash in a duel of fate unlike anything seen before in this world, though which side was which is truly up for debate, Kelson pushes against his legendary foe struggling lightsaber to lightsaber trying to gain an advantage. But our little green Jedi Master looked to stack more odds against our French-Canadian Lightsaber Sensation - it was a two-on-one, after all. A gathered group of remaining Zombie Killers, including a one armed Harlequin, watched with puzzled expressions as Kelson, still blinded by blood spurted from Harlequin's arm, attacked a roaming headless-chicken like body of Yoda. Quite surprisingly, the French-Canadian "Jedi" could very much hold his own against his formidable foes, even with his sight rendered ineffective.
That is, until he slips on a pile of drop-bears carcasses which causes him to tumble to a very bloody ground beneath him. His future looking bleak our hero screams for aid from his Zombie Killing compatriots, only to find them engrossed in a rousing game of Dance Dance Revolution, because people can only care for a french man for so long at a time. Alas, being white men, they cannot dance for shit. Romeo, clearly a man with superior dance moves proceeded to slaughter Harlequin, our newly crowned one armed bandit all while a duo of bloodthirsty Jedi Knights viciously attacked Christopher Kelson. While he had never received proper training in lightsaber combat, our french-canadian warrior managed to keep his opponents at bay while he desperately tried to get his allies to aid him.
Kelson battles fiercely but finds himself being slowly overwhelmed by Jedi expertise as his allies break it down DDR-style while drop-bears, at least those left alive from earlier battle, cheer them on. With a force push Windu sends Kelson's lightsaber flying towards our dancing, devilishly handsome heroes where it slashes off Harlequins other arm, finally forcing them to look over, faces filled with outrage. Hold on, our French-Canadian hero has allies? Pondered Romeo while parrying a slap from a dismembered Harlequin arm that was now be used in a fencing competition after exhaustive rounds of DDR. Now without a lightsaber, Kelson had to resort to more innovative methods; thus, after dodging a strike from Master Windu, Kelson charged in with his elbow, knocking him senseless while shouting "PATRICE CORMIER!". With Windu crumbling after a crushing elbow to his skull, Kelson is able to turn his attention to Master Yoda for a final confrontation. Only to find his little Muppet foe already spinning above ground towards his head ala Sonic. Seeing that sight has caused our French-Canadian hero to drop a little merde in his trousers.
A grand effort however a rule was broken...
- The word "the" was used once during this superstory.
Now looking over this mammoth read, the raters have double checked its quality and have finalised on a 8.8/10, however taking the penalty into account (-0.1), their final total is 8.7/10.
Sorry for the error guys, I feel like crap about it. But a wrong has been right'd and no-one has lost out in it.Now with this result, it means that Sex Panthers/HOIBSCs are to eliminate one person from their tribe.
Voting will close by 11:59 Friday 26th.
NOTE: Although I'm pretty sure Sean is going.
Subject: FMW SURVIVOR - THE SUPERSTORIES RESULTS 
Fri Feb 26, 2010 1:55 am
. Things should be smoother from here on out, we have a few great challenges planned as we head into the Survivor home stretch.
