It's Mercury. I am not a butler. And he is in the next room talking with some toady from the front office. Seems he is letting Caesar know what will happen when you two team once again.
Splendid. I really must talk to MASS-Y Pants though. It is kind of a big deal.
Harlequin is here, Caesar. And did you really have to be so violent to the boy? He is just an intern.
An unpaid assistant, Caesar. Basically what I am.
Oh, so an ungrateful cretin! That gave me enough reason to toss him through the door. He should damned well be grateful I didn't throw him through a wall. Ah, my Together Demon's brother. We must find a way to payback those damned cretins the Grey Inferno and those diabolically fiendish Comeback Kids!
(Sigh) No, friend of friends. It appears have other matters to attend to. I threw the man out before he told us who our victims are.
Friend of friends, I must tell you something. This may hurt, but it needs to be said. I have a higher calling...
No. What I was trying to say was...
You are prepared to rip those freaks in Grey Inferno apart? Me too. They look like a bunch of Gaulish trolls who should be drawn and quartered!
Okay, MASS-Y Pants, we need...
To prepare for who we are facing, even if they are unknown? Excellent idea, friend! We will slaughter them! We will...
Harlequin is starting to get peeved at his friends continued interruptions and monologuing. As Caesar is in mid monologue, using analogies both cliché and disturbing, Harlequin fires a shot in the opposite direction of Caesar to draw his atten...********************************
Producer: Damnit!
Sound System Op: What is wrong sir?
Producer: He killed the narrator! We need someone. NOW! Umm...you! You look like you have a good narrating voice!
Sound System Op: Sir, that may not be a good idea. He looks like Justin Bieber.
The Bieber: Looks like? I am THE Justin Bieber, bitch ass! Now where's my Sparkling Champagne Cider and some sparkling donuts! I will narrate this shit. What is this anyway? Looks like some gay ass...
Before he can finish his sentence, Harlequin walks into the set somehow and fires point blank into the chest of The Biebs, killing him instantly. He points his .357 Magnum at the Producer, who gets the hint that a better option should be chosen. The Sound System Op walks in with none other than 'Caligula' and 'A Clockwork Orange' star Malcom McDowell. Harlequin approves and leaves. The producer hands Malcom McDowell the script and he begins at the point where the narrator died.********************************
Caesar stops his monologuing, frightened by the furious blast from the treacherous .357 Magnum. Mighty Caesar turns his head and looks toward his friend.Caesar: A simple, hey let me finish, would have done the trick.
Harlequin: I need to tell you that I have a goal that I must fulfill. And it doesn't concern those shiny tag team belts. Since we have to do this fight together, this next show will be the last time the Together Demons team. For a bit anyway.
Caesar: Hmm. Oh. Okay!
Harlequin: I just have another path that is calling upon me.
Caesar: No. I understand. Well, let us make the most of our last fight as a unit for the time being. Mr. Quint?
Harlequin: Yes, MASS-Y Pants?
Caesar: Are we still friends and neighbors?
Harlequin: You idiot! Of course we are still buddies!
Harlequin and Caesar run toward each other, similar to those commercials or scenes in movies where buddies or some thing or other run toward each other through a long field trying to hug one another. A quite disgusting scene. But at least I am being paid for this. Anyway, both men, after what seems like five minutes of fake dashing toward one another and yelling buddy and pal alternatingly, they pause in front of each other and give each other what has been termed these days as “the bro hug.” Brief embrace and two pats on the back. On the back! Any lower and you are reaching Slegna Liberace territory!********************************
Knock-knockProducer: Yes?
Lawyer: I am the lawyer for one Andrew Slegs Carpenter. You will cease and desist with these libelous insinuations! That was only one time when his bro hug went lower than the agreed upon distance as set forth by Manly Von Manistad, the manliest man in the world eons ago! Now take that last line out!
Producer: Ok. Shit can this day get any more weird?
The producer speaks too soon as he sees three dog looking children run in and kiss him on the face. He starts to spit and wipe his face off.Kids: We're the Warner Brothers!
They don't stay long as the security guards, one looking suspiciously like Ralph the Guard burst forth, trying to apprehend them. The children flee as the producer finds his flasks and takes a big hit of Jack.********************************
Anyway, back to the story. Caesar and Harle have finished there bro hug and are back to business.Harlequin: Besides, MASS-Y Pants. I may need a demonous cretin that I work well with later on if things get a little heated.
Caesar: Good to know, Mr. Quint.
Harlequin: Plus we are neighbors. Who else am I going to go to if I need a bit of sugar or a piece of land to bury someone?
Caesar: Good point.
Harlequin: I will be back soon, MASS-Y Pants. I must return to my hunt. Tally-ho!
Did that bastard really say 'Tally-ho”! And just because Romans are played by the bloody English doesn't mean that Caesar is English you thundering proll! As the demented guy with the gun prances off, Caesar looks perplexed on how to prepare himself for his last match with his Together Demon's brother.Caesar: Well, I should probably find out who we get to slaughter.
Mercury: You won't have to, mighty Caesar. I found out for you.
Caesar: But how?
Mercury: I did it while you and Mr. Quint spent five minutes doing your interpretation of Soul and Blackstar running to each other in “Soul Eater.”
Caesar: What the devil is this 'Soul Eater?'
Mercury: Nothing. Anyway, you two men have a tough matchup ahead of you. You have Leon Caprice...
Caesar: Who?
Mercury: You would know him as the man that Mr. Quint seems to have a history with except you are oblivious to anything not in front of you.
Caesar: Granted...what where we discussing again?
Mercury: Your match!
Caesar: Quite right! Quit your stalling, Mercury and do your job!
Mercury: (Sigh). You will be facing Leon Caprice...and The Celt!
Caesar: So Leon...and WHAT?
Mercury: The Celt!
Caesar: A damned Celt!
Mercury: No, the Celt!
Caesar: I don't care if he is a Celt or the King of the Celts! I will have his blood upon my hands! Or sword! Or both! I hate the celts!
Mercury: Certainly sir, that was ages ago your hate for the Celts. Surely you are not going to take your anger on people you fought ages ago against this young man?
Caesar: You really don't know me very well, do you Mercury?
Mercury: This is what I get for hoping that you might have improved as a person.
Caesar: That is what you get for thinking positively. Positivity, it is a curse on our world. Being cynical and spiteful, that is the way of the world!
Mercury: And people wonder why the world is screwed up with a motto like that.
Caesar: What?
Mercury: Nothing.
Caesar: Well, this is a nice opportunity. Me and Mr. Quint get to slaughter some people in our last fight together for awhile. And I get to bludgeon a celtic bastard to death.
Mercury: It isn't going to be that easy, you know?
Caesar: I know. It will be super easy!
Mercury: Ugh!
********************************
As Mercury looks in disgust at his master's over confidence, we see Caesar scheming in his demented brain about interesting ways to destroy the young warrior The Celt. What will this diabolical man and his partner do to our heroes The Celt and Leon Caprice? Will we see blood? And will Harlequin quit thinking that Romans speak in British accents? Tune in next time for another addition of Together Demons: Forged in Fire and Laughter!Caesar: That is a terrible ending!
Harlequin: Very much so!
McDowell: Don't make me do the things I had to do in 'Caligula' to shut you fools up! Because I will!
Caesar and Harlequin look at each other and,. Perturbed at what Malcom McDowell might have in store, walk off as the camera fades to black.
Subject: Re: Corruption 14.1 Voting and Promo Thread 
Mon Aug 08, 2011 10:53 am
