Lethal Injection 2008 Pre-Show - RESULTS

The show opened up with a great series of Dark Matches.

The first one featured two veterans as Bobino, now wrestling under the name Butters, was set to take on Phantom Lord. their match went very back and forth as neither guy got too far ahead of the other one, I think Butters said 'I deserve this' when Phantom Lord powerbombed him once, until Phantom Lord backdropped Butters onto the ring post, back first. He taunted the crowd for a minute after that and dragged Butters back into the ring, setting him up for a big move, but Butters suprised him quickly and rolled him up. Butters was able to get the three count and quickly rolled out of the ring and down the aisle. Phantom Lord was furious! It was hilarious!

Butters (6.43 aps - 0.2 penalty + 1.5 avs = 7.73 total)
Phantom Lord (4.73 aps + 1.3 avs = 6.03 total)


The next match featured guys I had never heard of before. Andrew Shiner, Jack Hillman, and Corky Angle. People seemed to get behind Angle right away, but the two stars of the match were Hillman and Shiner. Those guys were flying around the ring, it was great! Hillman and Shiner actually hit a double team move on Angle and they both pinned him at the same time, so they ruled that Shiner and Hillman would square off! Again, lots of back and forth action but Shiner won with some top rope move that I couldn't describe! The place went nuts!

Andrew Shiner (6.58 aps + 1.0 avs = 7.58 total)
Jack Hillman (6.73 aps + 0.6 avs = 7.33 total)
Corky Angle (0.0 aps + 1.1 avs = 1.1 total)

The last dark match was between Dark Tiger and Karso Key. Tiger is really a giant, its crazy. Tiger dominated almost the whole match, Key was really just thrown around a lot, but when Tiger's valet tried to distract the ref, Key was able to dropkick Tiger into the ropes and he blasted him with a chair that Tiger brought in the match. Key DDTed Tiger onto it and threw it out of the ring! When he tried to pin him, Tigers manager tried to interfere, but Key just pulled her over the top rope and slammed her onto Tiger! He pinned them both for the win!

Karso Key (4.35 aps - 0.1 penalty + 2.1 avs = 6.35 total)
Dark Tiger (0.0 aps + 0.4 avs = 0.4 total)

The camera fades in to the back as T. Ekstreme sits with Slegnadamus, Steve-E, and Westley McGreggor in their lavish locker room.

Ekstreme: Now, guys, I know tonight is a big night for us as a unit. We’ve got two big matches and a chance to really show all the haters and the doubters that we’re really here to stay.

Steve-E, you’ve got Styxx, but I have faith that you can beat him out simply because he’s a moronic baboon who doesn’t know the difference between five star gourmet and his own feces, so take a breather for a moment.

Ekstreme turns to Westley

Ekstreme: You however have a bit more of a different story. You’ve got Dalby. Now, I have faith in you, but we need to solidify your position because we know Dalby’s beaten you before, and we can’t have that again.

Westley: I’ve been training pretty hard boss.

Ekstreme: Women and booze don’t count, Westley.

Westley: Bullocks…

Ekstreme: Which is why I spent a lot of cash to bring in a personal trainer for you to help you out for the rest of the night before you go on.

Slegnadamus: I’ve seen him, Westley. This guy is great.

Westley: Damn, really?

Steve-E: Yeah. He’s a former world champion.

Westley: Shit, thanks boss!

Ekstreme: I go to any length to keep my boys happy. So, Westley, I’d like to introduce you to your personal trainer. Former world champion…

The door clicks open to reveal

Ekstreme: David Arquette.

The room is silent as the former WCW champion walks into the room.

Westley: You… are.. the best boss ever!

Arquette: You must be Westley. Come on, we’ve only got a little time left!

Westley grabs his title belt and leaves the room with David Arquette.

Slegnadamus: Hey, boss, how come we aren’t defending our belts this show?

Ekstreme: We haven’t had the time for proper build up! The TV Tag titles are about ratings and I cant tarnish that legacy with some throw together match with some pair of nobodies! Besides, Steve-E has other matters to attend to.

Steve-E: Jesus Christ you’re a genius.

Ekstreme: Stick with me boys, you’re gonna go places.

"Click Click Boom" by Saliva hits as "The Rising Star" Chris Kelson slowly comes out from behind the curtain. He gets a very good reaction from the crowd as he plays up to them.

Cherry: The following matchup is scheduled for one fall, and is a Name VERSUSES NAME MATCH! The loser will change there name to the winner's choice! Introducing first, from Montreal, Quebec, Canada... CHRIS KELLLLLSOOONNN!!!!

Edible: Name versus Name eh? I hope by the end of the match someone becomes Sir Shitsalot.

SoR: I highly doubt that will happen but, if that's the only thing keeping you occupied, than fine.

"Wasting Time" - Red hits as Chris K steps out from the back to a mixed reaction. He points to his opponent and gives him the cut throat motion.

Edible: OH MY GOD! It's Chris Benoit!

SoR: Why do you still have a job?

Edible: Because I'm talented unlike you, old man.

Cherry: And his opponent, from Sacramento, California........ CHRISSSSSSSSSS K!

Chris K. struts down the entrance ramp before sliding into the ring and running straight at Kelson spearing him. The ref rings the bell as the match is underway.

SoR: These two don't even wait to lock up as Chris K goes right after Kelson. A name change might not be such a bad thing for these two young rookies.

Edible: Yeah. Like Sirshitsalot.

Chris K is leveling Kelson with punches. Kelson with a burst of energy pushes Chris K back, sending him flying.

SoR: Wow. The smaller man, just pushed the much bigger man off him. Kelson has fight.

Edible: Jobbers don't matter SoR. They could have all the fight they want. The end result is always them laying down to the main stars like me. Its not like they're real people, anyway

Kelson hits Chris K with a kick to the knee, causing his legs to buckle.

SoR: A stiff kick by Kelson, setting up for a DDT! And CONNECTS! Kelson trying to put this match away quickly.

1...
kickout

SoR: And Chris K won't die as fast as Kelson would like him to. And Kelson now is picking Chris K up. Snap suplex by Kelson. And Kelson goed into the corner.

Edible: What the hell is he doing?

Kelson is motioning for Chris K to stand up. Chris K is slowly getting up.

SoR: Chris K is up and a superkick, BUT CHRIS K DUCKS! A rollup by Chris K!

1....
2...
kickout!

Edible: Smart move by Chris K! Maybe the kid isn't so dumb.

SoR: And Chris K has the ankle of Kelson! ANKLE LOCK!

Kelson screams in pain as he is in the middle of the ring. He slowly crawls to the ropes. The fans are fully behind Kelson as he is nearing the ropes.

SoR: Chris K, has that ankle lock locked extremely tight! Kelson is screaming in pain!

Edible: KELSON IS ABOUT TO BE SIR SHITSALOT!

SoR: AND KELSON HAS THE ROPES! But, Chris K won't let go.

Chris K won't let go of the hold until, the ref threatens to DQ him. Chris K than stands up and gives a stiff kick to the ankle of Kelson.

SoR: Chris K does not respect Kelson at all as he spits on his fallen oppenent! Who the hell does this kid think he is?!?

Edible: I like it. Nothing says FU like spit in the face.

Kelson is struggling to get up using the ropes. Chris K charges at him.

SoR: CHARGING KNEE STRIKE TO THE MIDSECTION OF KELSON! And Kelson is down!

Chris K goes into the corner and climbs the turnbuckle. He pats his elbow.

SoR: Chris K is up top now. AND A FLYING ELBOW DROP CONNECTS! He makes the cover......

1...
2...
thr....
Kickout!

SoR: AND Kelson will not give up.

Chris K is arguing with the refree over the count as Kelson is struggling to get up. Chris K realizes that Kelson is almost up and postitons him for a body to body suplex.

SoR: AND THE BELLY TO BELLY SUPLEX CONNECTS! What the hell is he doing?!?

Chris K takes Kelsons legs and puts them past his head. He steps on Kelsons feet as he pulls his arms forward.

SoR: What the hell is this?

Edible: It's called a K-Lock moron! Kelson's gonna tap!

Kelson is screaming in pain as Chris K has a smirk on his face.

Chris K: Tap you COPYCAT!

Suddenly, Kelson manages to roll backwards sending Chris K flying over him and hitting the ropes.

SoR: AND KELSON BREAKS THE K-Lock! Kelson is up! And Chris K comes charging and... KELSON kicks him in the leg sending the big man to his knees! Kelson has the head of Chris K! HOMECOMING! Kelson JUST HIT HIS FINISHER HOMECOMING ON CHRIS K! And he goes for the cover...

1...
2...
3!

Cherry: The winner of this match, CHRIISSSSS KELLLLLLSOOOOOOONNNN!!!!!!!!

Chris Kelson (7.68 aps + 2.1 avs = 8.78 total)
Chris K. (6.83 aps + 0.7 avs = 7.53 total)

Chris K is up and charges at Kelson, but Kelson slides out of the ring. Kelson is all smiles while, Chris K is throwing a fit kicking the ring post, and the ropes

The scene fades to the back as Flare stands in front of the giant Lethal Injection logo with the resident interviewer, Action Jackson.

Action Jackson: OOOOOOOOOOOW! Ladies and Gentlemen, you know who this cat is, but to the right of the essence of cool is the prettiest man on television, Flare.

Flare grabs the mic from him.

Flare: Listen you peon, I'm not about that anymore. This is a serious, serious matter because my return to FMW isn't going quite exactly to plan. You see, I've slowly gone to discover that the people who defeat me go on to greatness... and that is greatness I deserve to have, what I strive to achieve. Countless title shots and spots in tournaments... hell, if Threepwood beats me tonight, HE gets in to Mount Vesuvius.

Flare laughs for a moment.

Flare: But tonight, thats not going to happen. Tonight, the only person claiming that spot is ME. This is my divine right to dominate this planet and it starts with Threepwood. Whats in the past is done, but the future is in my hands, and I plan on crushing his with an iron fist. Its sudden death... and I don't plan to lose.

Flare shoves the mic in Action Jackson's chest and walks off the screen.

Kansas- "Dust in the Wind" hits as a black Cadillac Escalade rolls down the ramp. The car is driven by Marky Mark, with B.U.G. Bob Babaganoosh is in the back seat of the car. Marky Mark, jumps out of the car high fiving people up the ramp. Bob and B.U.G. are walking up the ramp.

Cherry: The following is a tag team match. Introducing first, Markyyyyyy Mark and The Notorious B.U.G!

Marky Mark calls for the mic when he is in the ring.

Marky Mark: WHATS GOOD?!? Yo, this is the LI pre SHOW! But, I'm pumped that I'm back with my homie, The Notorious B.U.G. See, him and I go wayyy back! And when my boy Bob gave me the invite to FMdub, I was on that like white on rice! We are FMdub's new ballingest players! Now, my boy Bob's got something to say.

Bob: Give me a beat!

Marky Mark starts making a beat box sound.

Bob: Damn, I really hate this sport! There's no ball or no court. Wrestling sucks and it is....

"Riot" - Three Days Grace hits interrupting Bob's rap. Sean Jensen walks up the ramp with a mic in hand.

Cherry: And one of their opponents. SEAN JENSENNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sean: It's honestly a travesty that I haven't picked up my first win in FMW. But tonight, I'm feeling pretty confident. You two are jokes. So as long as Leon Caprice does the right thing and lets me do all the work, I'll carry us to victory.

Sean Jensen flings the mic away as Ra's “Far Enough” hits as Leon Caprice steps out from the back.

Cherry: And his partner, LEOOOOONNNN CAPRICE!

SoR: Leon Caprice doesn't look like he wants to follow Sean's plan of "staying out of the way". They are already in each others face.

Edible: Hey, Caprice should know his role, as backup.

SoR: And there is the bell Marky Mark and Sean Jensen will start the match. Sean Jensen goes to lockup with Marky, but pulls away.

Marky nods his head before dropkicking Sean Jensen.

SoR: Sean didn't want to lockup so Mark solved the problem.

Edible: Why the hell is Marky smiling? He knocked Sean down. Big deal.

SoR: And Sean's back up. Sean and Marky lock up and Sean pokes Marky in the eye. What a cheap move!

Edible: Cheap? It's smart Repo. Maybe if you did that, you'd win a title.

SoR: I don't see any titles for you huh Eddy?

Edible: I've won plenty old man. Now get back to the match.

SoR: Fine. Marky, is still blinded by the thumb to the eye. Sean is looking for a DDT AND connects! Sean goes for the cover

1...
tw...
Kick out

SoR: A kick out by Marky. Sean is picking him up and now a snapsuplex! The cover again.

1...
kick out.

SoR: This match isn't as easy as Sean thought it would be. And Sean is angry.

Sean sees Marky struggling to tag in his partner, B.U.G. Sean runs up to him and clutches him in an ankle lock.

SoR: Ankle lock! Sean's got Marky locked in. Marky is inches of way from his partner locked in an ankle lock!

Marky suddenly, kicks Sean with the unlocked leg knocking him down.

SoR: AND Marky makes the tag! Here comes the Notorious B.U.G! Jensen is up against the ropes, and tries to knock the big man down with a clothesline but, just bounces of B.U.G! B.U.G. has Sean by the neck!

B.U.G. lifts Sean up for a choke slam. While in the air Sean kicks B.U.G. in the stomach sending him down to his knees. Sean runs up against the ropes giving him power for a clothesline but is tagged out by Leon.

SoR: And Leon tags himself in! Caprice with a clothesline to B.U.G. knocking him down.

Edible: Leon stoles Sean's clothesline!

SoR: Leon going to the top rope!

Leon leaps and hits a picture perfect moonsault on B.U.G. and makes the cover.

1...
2..
thr..
kick out!

SoR: AND a last second kick out by B.U.G! B.U.G. with a big boot to the face of Leon! He goes to make the cover but Bob orders him to tag Marky in and he does. Marky jumps into the ring and covers Leon.

1...
2...
kick out!

Marky grabs Leon's leg and locks a boston crab in.

SoR: BOSTON CRAB BY MARKY! Leon might tap!

Edible: Leon should've let Sean wrestle the entire match!

Leon is crawling to the ropes. Leon finally makes it to the rope.

SoR: LEON MAKES IT TO THE ROPES!

Leon struggles to get up and accidentally stumbles back to his corner. Sean tags himself in and charges after Marky. Marky ducks and kicks him in the gut.

SoR: He's got Sean! GORY BOMB! MARKY HITS THE GORY BOMB ON SEAN! MARKY MAKES THE COVER!

1...
2...
3...

Cherry: Here are your winners, Marky Mark and The Notorious B.U.G!

Marky Mark and The Notorious B.U.G. (7.58 aps + 6.83 aps + 1.4 avs = 15.81 total)
Sean Jensen and Leon Caprice (6.55 aps + 7.83 aps + 1.4 avs = 15.78 total)

Leon looks extremely pissed that Sean was pinned. Sean is fuming over his loss. He grabs the mic from Cherry.

Sean: HEY ASSWIPE! This is all your fault! Hellen Keller could've been a better partner than you!

Leon looks at Sean, before hitting him with a SICK right hand knocking him out cold. The crowd pops as Leon slides out of the ring.

The camera cuts to the back as Westley McGreggor is in the ring with David Arquette going over basic holds and manuvers.

Arquette: And thats how you do a scoop slam.

Westley: Sweet. I sorta knew how to do most of those already though so... do you know anything else?

Arquette: Well... I can teach you... but I dont know if you're ready.

Westley: I am! Show me the ways!

Arquette: Well... ok.

Arquette pulls out his wallet.

Arquette: I call this one the Greenback.

Arquette pulls out a twenty dollar bill.

Westley: I see, you pull out the money and staple it to their head!

Arquette: What!? Oh... God, no. You use it to pay off the ref. They make peanuts, they'll do anything for a twenty.

Westley: Um... ok. Anything else?

Arquette: Yeah, I got one. Try to punch me.

Westley reaches back and throws a right. Right before it hits Arquette he faints into the ropes

Westley: Dude! Are you o.k?

Arquette hops up.

Arquette: Gotcha. I call that one the Fallback.

Westley: Wow...

Theres an uncomfortable silence between the two.

Arquette: ...what?

Westley: You're a God, you know that?

Arquette smiles as he goes to teach Westley another manuver as the screen fades to the ring.

The theme from the “Monkey Island” videogames blares through the speaker system, signalizing the arrival of Guybrush Threepwood. The crowd cheers wildly, as the pirate steps out the curtain and swings from a rope onto the ringside area.

Anouncer: The following match is scheduled for one fall and is for a spot on the Mount Vesuvius Match! Introducing first, from Monkey Island, weighting in at 200 lbs, Guybrush Threepwood!

SoR: Thunderous entrance by FMW’s resident pirate! Certainly the fan favorite to win this Mount Vesuvius qualifying match!

Edible: That man is an obvious lunatic! Just look at him making a fool out of himself, doing that silly dance!

SoR: It’s called the “Swashbuckler’s Shuffle” and the fans here seem to enjoy it.

Edible: I don’t care what it’s called! It could be called “Guybrush Threepwood’s interpretation dance tribute to Edible Smith” and I still wouldn’t care about it!

Guybrush is still greeting the fans on the turnbuckle, when “Lake of Fire” by Nirvana replaces his theme song. From the backstage area comes Janus Flare right on cue, with a determined look on his face.

Anouncer: And his opponent, from the Utopian Natian, weighting in at 185 lbs, Lord Flare the Pretty!

Edible: I would complain about Lord Flare being in the Lethal Injection pre-show, but it’s just an honor to be calling a match with him. In fact I can’t see any other outcome to this match than a victory by his lordship.

SoR: I concur that Flare is an impressive competitor, but I can’t help but have a problem with the underhand tactics he someti…

Edible: Hush Sonny, can’t you see them locking up? That means the match already started! And Lord Flare is already in the lead, getting behind Guybrush’s back with his great speed!

SoR: But Guybrush counters with a snapmare and follows up with a leg drop! Guybrush skips over Flare, rebounds off the other side of the ring and nails a huge Bakatare Sliding kick! The Pirate is fired-up and hammering down on Flare with thunderous lefts and rights!

Edible: Savage!! Leave Lord Flare’s handsome face alone! Break them up referee!!

SoR: And so the ref does, allowing Flare to squirm towards the corner.

Edible: He’s not squirming, he’s gathering his thou… Oh my God, that savage busted Lord Flare’s lip!! You fiend!!

SoR: Flare seems taken aback by the sight of his own blood. And Guybrush isn’t helping him by doing the Swashbuckler’s Shuffle, although he seems to be delighting the crowd.

Edible: That pesky pirate is mocking Lord Flare! This shall not stand!

SoR: And neither will Guybrush after that vicious closeline by Flare. Enraging Flare certainly wasn’t a bright move by the pirate.

Edible: Well Guybrush Threepwood has never been synonym of intelligence. Now Lord Flare, he is a mastermind! Look at him target Threepwood’s head with those elbow drops!

SoR: He might be just looking for retribution for what Guybrush did to his face. Flare now stretching Guybrush’s mouth and nose with that Fishhook, a blatant illegal maneuver!

Edible: The referee starts the count, and being the brain that he is, Lord Flare breaks the hold at four. And his lordship seems to have a treat in stored for us! He’s climbing the turnbuckle!

Upon reaching the top of the turnbuckle, Flare is immediately showered by loud jeers coming from the live audience. The cocky superstar simply shoots an arrogant smile in return, generating more jeers from the crowd.

SoR: Flare seems to waiting for his opponent to get to his feet. He goes airborne… But Guybrush counteracts with a kick to the gut! Reverse STO by Guybrush!

Edible: Definitely a lucky move by that irritating pirate!

SoR: Guybrush wraps Flare’s legs around his waist and lifts him for a beautiful Wheelbarrow Suplex! And Guybrush goes to lift Flare up to a vertical base.

Edible: But Lord Flare rakes his eyes and stops his momentum dead with a lightning quick Double Knee Facebreaker!

SoR: Flare hoists Threepwood up only to send him crashing down again with a Belly to Belly Suplex! And he picks up his opponent again.

Edible: Side Headlock by Lord Flare, what can he be thinking about here… Corkscrew Neckbreaker! What style! What elegance! What… well, flair! And the pin…

One

Two

Kick-Out!

SoR: Flare almost got the pinfall but he’s trying a different strategy now, as he locks in an STF. That’ll do some damage but Guybrush is very close to the ropes.

Edible: Lord Flare is not an idiot, Sonny! Look, as soon as Guybrush reached for the ropes, he released the hold and nailed him down with a few forearm shots.

SoR: Flare pulls Threepwood up and nails a hard Body Slam!

Edible: Simple, yet effective!

SoR: And Guybrush isn’t getting a moment of rest in this match. Flare hoists the pirate up for a vertical suplex… no wait, he bounces Guybrush’s body on the top rope… Slingshot Brainbuster!! Flare with the pin!

One

Two

Kick-Out!

Edible: So close was Lord Flare! Oh but this, this will end it for that idiot pirate!

SoR: Flare grabs Guybrush’s legs and applies a High Angle Boston Crab. After the punishment the fan favorite went through tonight, this hold must be agonizing!

Edible: Tap out you buffoon!! Admit your puniness against the great Lord Flare!

SoR: You seem to be the only Flare fan in the arena tonight Edible. Just listen to the crowd!

Crowd: Let’s go Guybrush! (clap-clap clap-clap-clap) Let’s go Guybrush!

SoR: Flare must be sick of hearing the fans as well, because he’s trying to use his legs to apply a standing Full Nelson on his opponent.

Edible: Yes! He’s going for the Sieg-Punkt!! If he locks that in this one is over! And he’s almost got it!

SoR: But Guybrush rolls through! Sitout Pin out of nowhere!

One

Two

Thr… Kick-Out!!

Edible: My heart just skipped a beat!

SoR: And I imagine Flare’s did as well, with that surprise pin by Guybrush! The pirate seems to have caught a second wind! Flare charges but get’s countered with Arm Drag!

Edible: No! Stay down Lord Flare! Don’t walk into another…

SoR: Deep Arm Drag by Threepwood! Guybrush with a standing senton immediately followed by a standing moonsault! Great athleticism by this superstar, who holds on for the pin!

One!

Two!

Thr….Kick-Out!

Edible: You will need a lot more than that to stop Lord Flare, peon!

SoR: And Guybrush might be thinking the same as he climbs the turnbuckle! Let’s see what aerial ability the pirate will show off now. Flying Cross Body by Guybrush…

Edible: Lord Flare with the dropkick! Amazing agility by Flare, countering Threepwood’s Cross Body with a picture perfect dropkick! He covers using the ropes for leverage!

One

Two

Three! Yes! Lord Flare wins!!

SoR: No! The referee saw Flare using the ropes for leverage! This bout is still underway, despite Flare’s complaints to the ref!

Edible: No! Don’t argue with that idiotic ref my Lord! Look behind you!!

SoR: What a brutal Inverted DDT by Guybrush! And the persistent pirate goes for the top rope again!

Edible: But Lord Flare proved to be far too smart for Guybrush; he just rolled out of the ring, away from harm.

SoR: But all that means for Guybrush is a bigger fall.

Edible: Wha… HOLLY SHIT!!

SoR: Shooting Star Press to the outside of the ring!!!! What an incredible move by Guybrush!!

Edible: Hey, that was kind of cool… I mean, curse that retched pirate!

SoR: The crowd is on its feet for Guybrush Threepwood and he’s feeding off his fans! Threep pushes Flare inside the ring and gets on the apron, could he be going for the Brushwood?!

Flare struggles to get to his feet, but when he does so Guybrush launches himself into the ring with a springboard maneuver. Using his veteran instincts, Flare pulls the referee and uses him as a shield, forcing Threepwood to recoil his attack in fear of hitting the ref.

SoR: Guybrush almost knocked-out the referee just now! What a coward act by Flare! Hiding behind the referee! Utterly despi…

Edible: Spear!! Lord Flare comes from behind the referee and hits a brutal Spear! What a genius!

SoR: Guybrush is down and Flare quickly hooks his legs for the Boston Crab! The arms are hooked as well! Sieg-Punkt! Flare locks the Sieg-Punkt on Guybrush!!

Edible: He tapped out!!! Threepwood tapped out!! Yes!!

Flare (7.45 - 0.2 penalty + 1.4 avs = 8.65)
Guybrush Threepwood (5.85 - 0.2 penalty + 1.5 avs = 7.35)

The bell rings and “Lake of Fire” is heard throughout the arena for the second time tonight, signalizing Flare’s victory. The Nazi Sympathizer is set into a whirl inside the ring, celebrating his hard earned victory frenetically.

Edible: Flare Wins! Flare Wins! Lord Flare is going to Mount Vesuvious!!

SoR: And he is ecstatic to know it. Climbing up the turnbuckle, jumping up and down, I have to say I have never seen Flare celebrate a victory with such passion! The crowd doesn’t like it, but frankly Flare doesn’t care!

Edible: And he shouldn’t! And you know why? Because he is going to Mount Vesuvius and because he whipped that pirate’s ass tonight! What a victory!

Inside the ring, Guybrush starts to come to his senses. Flare exits slowly up the ramp, grinning to his opponent, when suddenly someone runs past him. Guybrush Threepwood is still struggling to get to his feet when he’s met with the sight of the Great TO.

SoR: Now what’s he doing out here?!

Edible: Judging from the sharp cloths, microphone and the fact that he’s an INTERVIEWER I guess he probably came out here to make a barbeque Sonny! Sheesh…

TO: I was backstage just now watching this match and I have to say: what a great display of atlethic ability… by Flare! You Guybrush, were mediocre as usual. In fact, you just plain stunk up the ring...

The crowd boos TO’s arrogance.

TO: But I looked beyond this sad excuse for a human being, I saw an opportunity for a great interview! So tell me Guybrush Threepwood, how does it feel to lose this Mount Vesuvius Qualifying match?

To a loud chorus of boos, Takeover hands the microphone to Guybrush who takes his time thinking about the answer.

Guybrush Threepwood: I’ve got to tell you Takeover... this match was a tuff match to lose. It was a match I needed to win and I came up short. I feel… well, I guess you might say that I feel embarrassed… actually I just feel like trash…

Takeover laughs at Guybrush’s speech, but the cheeky pirate isn’t done yet.

Guybrush Threepwood: Kinda like what you felt when I embarrassed you!

Takeover’s expression drastically changes. Alchemy’s backstage interviewer looks furious as Guybrush throws the microphone back at him.

TO: Oh, like what I felt when you embarrassed me, you say?!

Without any warning Takeover hits Guybrush on the head with the microphone. The pirate naturally collapses on the floor, only to get further assaulted by TO and his microphone.

SoR: Oh my God, Takeover is possessed!! He’s just ruthlessly attacking Guybrush Threepwood!! There’s blood all over the place!!!

Edible: This is great!! Guybrush is busted open but TO doesn’t stop!

The device finally breaks into pieces, ending TO’s attack. The cocky interviewer stands up and looks down on the fallen victim before him. The ring microphones manage to catch his last words before he makes his exit up the ramp.

TO: That’s one down. One to go!

The camera once again fades back to the giant Lethal Injection logo and a smiling Action Jackson.

Action Jackson: Whats happenin my cool cats and jive sistas. Your resident soul brotha Action Jackson is here, blackening up television screens nation wide! Now, I've got the man, myth, and legend... oh, wait, you're not me.

Action Jackson laughs aloud as Kieran Halycon approaches on screen.

Halycon: Funny... Funny.

Halycon grabs the mic from Jackson and pushes him out of the screen.

Halycon: You know, the wrestling business is all about making big impacts, and I cant think of a bigger one made than the one I did myself. Yeah, thats right. You see, in one fell swoop I eliminated the most decorated tag team in FMW, nay, wrestling history, the SoCal Crybabies. Two surefire hall of famers taken out by yours truly. Now, tonight I get to face a man who made a, well, significantly less bigger splash than I did. His name is Jason Krow, and he threw 15 nobodies off the top of a cage. Big Deal.

That doesn't even begin to compare to what I'm capabale of doing to you, Krow. I'm going to tear you limb from limb, remove flesh from bone, and leave your battered and broken skeleton in the middle of the ring so everyone can see that when I mean business, I'm serious as a heart attack. Your time is numbered, Krow. Get out now while you have the chance.

Halycon glares at the camera as Action Jackson comes back into the picture and grabs the mic from him.

Action Jackson: Boy, you push me like that again and I'm likely to get Al Sharpton up in here! Jessie Jackson! Condoleeza Rice! I will go Martin Luther King on you in the court system! Yeah! You best walk away! WALK AWAY!

Halycon comes back into the camera shot staring down Action Jackson.

Action Jackson: Or not, you know, thats cool.

The scene cuts to the ring.

SoR: Our next match is going to be an interesting contest to say the least. Ever since he returned, Kieran Halycon has been a man on a mission. What that mission is remains to be seen, but this is a man that is a ruthless killer in that ring. The man that single handedly took out the SoCal Connection is here for something. And it has to be more than just brutalizing people. His opponent tonight is a newcomer to our parts but someone that is an experienced performer in Jason Krow.


Edible: While on the surface this seems to be a match in Halycon's favor...what am I saying? It is! Halycon is a first rate fighter! He doesn't need weapons like a piece of shit nobody making $12 a night to smash lighttubes on him. And this Jason Krow, while experienced and has good credentials, doesn't stand a chance against a formidable foe like Kieran Halycon! Plus I don't like the sound of "The Hardcore Enigma"! What the fuck does that have to do with Wrestling?

SoR: Don't short change Jason Krow, Ed! He is an accomplished grappler in his own right. Let's head to the ring!

Cherry: This match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first...

Coming Home - Alter Bridge hits as the cocky Jason Krow steps out from the back. He makes the rock on hand gesture. He gets a
very mixed reaction.

Cherry: The following matchup is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first from Mount Holly, New Jersey...... JASOOOOONN KROOOOOOOWWWW!!!!!

As Jason Krow struts up the ramp, Kieran Halcyon attacks him from behind, before throwing him into the ring.

SoR: And there's the bell! Kieran didn't even wait for Crow’s entrance to be over. Halcyon is a dangerous man.

Edible: And I like it. We need more wrestlers like Halcyon in FMW. He single handedly destroyed So Cal. Something tag teams couldn't do, he did by himself. That's damn impressive.

SoR: I might have to agree. Halcyon is locked up with Krow in the middle of the ring. Halcyon overpowers and has an arm bar on Krow. He chops the arm down, knocking Krow to the ground!

Halcyon has Krow mounted in the corner now and is nailing him with punch after punch. The ref demands that Halcyon stops punching Krow, but Halcyon continues until the referee separates them.

SoR: Krow has been split open!

Edible: Nice, blood already!

SoR: The crowd isn't behind either man. Krow is still in the corner and Halcyon charges! AND MISSES! Krow rolls out of the way. And Halycon's knee just hit the ringpost! He's down! AND KROW goes to the top rope. MOONSAULT! CONNECTS! Krow has the cover!

1...
2..
kickout!

Krow, mad that he didn't end the match early goes back to the top rope. He waves at Halcyon to get up.

SoR: Halcyon stumbles to his feet and turns around, AND A MISSLE DROPKICK! KROW HITS THE MISSLE DROPKICK ON HALYCON! The fans are behind Krow!

Edible: Of course. The fans are always behind the man who has flashy moves.

SoR: What's he doing now?!? A sharpshooter AND LOCKS IT IN!

Halcyon is in pain as Krow has him locked in the sharpshooter.

SoR: Halcyon is near the ropes but is not moving forward at all. What's his problem?

Suddenly, Halycon rolls forward, breaking the sharpshooter and sending Krow over him and head first into the ringpost. Halcyon is clutching his knee which was hurt earlier. Halcyon charges at Krow, as Krow turns around.

SoR: KROW IS KNOCKED DOWN WITH A SICK CLOTHESLINE!

Halcyon has Krow’s blood all over his arm. He looks at it and starts to smirk.

SoR: What the hell could Halcyon be thinking?

Edible: Whatever it is, it should be violent.

SoR: Why is he letting Krow get up?

Halcyon charges at Jason Krow attempting a big boot. Krow ducks.

SoR: KROW DODGES THE BIG BOOT! He has Halcyon up! Could it be? Near-Death Exp.... No! Halcyon escapes! AND HALYCON HITS A BIG BOOT ON KROW! Halcyon goes for the cover...

1....

2....

thre....

kickout.

SoR: How the hell did Krow kickout of that one?

Edible: I have no idea. The boot was BRUTAL!

SoR: Tell me about it. Halcyon can't believe that Krow managed to kickout! Halycon stomps on the bloodied head of Krow. He lifts him up and Irish Whips him into the corner. Kieran comes running at him full speed...Running Knee strike by Halycon to the head of Krow! He grabs Krow before he falls and Irish Whips him to the opposite corner! Here he comes again! Vicious Clothsline by Halycon to Krow. He again makes sure Krow doesn't fall. He lifts him up! Brainbuster by Halycon! Cover! 1...2; Kickout by Krow at two! It looks like Halycon is going to need more than that to beat this man!

Edible: He's too stupid to know when to give up!

Halycon gets Krow up and delivers a snap suplex in the middle of the ring, then floats over and locks in a front guillotine choke.

Edible: Nice strategy by Halycon! If this move doesn't make Krow tap out, this and the blood loss will sap all of the strength out of him and he will pass out!

SoR: Halycon has it locked in tight, but Krow is starting to fight out. He is using his strength to try and get out of the lock!

Krow gets up on his feet, while Halycon still has the submission locked in. Krow tries to slowly get to the ropes. He is inching closer and closer. Before he can reach the ropes, Halycon unwraps his legs from Krow's body. He lifts him up and places his feet on the ropes, than nails a swinging neckbreaker on to Krow.

SoR: Krow was so close to the ropes, but Halycon wisely broke the lock at the last second and drove Krow's neck to the canvas!

Edible: Krow is done with! Halycon is going to finish this thing really soon!

SoR: Halycon with an Irish whip to the corner, Krow with a reversal! Krow comes at Halycon but Halycon shoots Krow over him.

Jason Krow lands on the top rope on his feet, than moonsaults over and delievers the Mourning Star DDT on Halycon. The crowd goes wild over the desperation move as both competitors are on the ground as the ref starts to count to ten!


SoR: What a move by Jason Krow, right out of nowhere! Halycon is down!

Edible: He was lucky! So lucky!

1...2...3...4...5

SoR: And both men are on there feet. Halycon lands the first punch. He lands another jab! He goes for a spinning clothsline. Krow catches it! He hit him with the Triple 6, that spinning reverse STO! Cover! 1...2;kickout by Halycon again!

Edible: Tell these imbeciles to stop cheering him!

SoR: Krow may have a dark, brooding attitude, but he is a hell of a performer. And in a match against Kieran Halycon, the only way you will get booed over Kieran is if you are Jaro himself!

Halycon gets to his feet slowly as Krow stalks him. Halycon turns around and Krow attempts the Triple 6 again, but Halycon blocks it. Krow picks Halycon up in a fireman's carry and goes for the Death Valley Driver, but Halycon spins out and nails a DDT out of desperation! Krow gets up slowly as Halycon locks in a full nelson and nails a Dragon Suplex.

SoR: Kieran Halycon just turned the tables with that nice reversal and then the Dragon Suplex. He is stalking Krow! I wonder what he is going to do? He is trying for the Halyconic Hemmorage, but Krow is fighting to stay off the ground!

Edible: He almost has it! He almost has it, Repo!

Krow runs to the turnbuckle and uses the turnbuckle to flip out. Halycon goes for a clothsline, but misses. He runs back to Krow, who nails him with a Spinebuster.

Edible: Anderson style Spinebuster! Cover! 1...2..;Kickout by Halycon!

SoR: Krow picks up Halycon. Rake to the eyes by Halycon.And Halycon does not look happy about the amount of fight Jason Krow is putting up. Halycon picks up Krow. Brainbusterby Halycon and he is motioning to the top rope!

Edible: I hope he doesn't...I am not going to say it! He has him!

SoR: Halycon with the top rope elbow drop...Missed! He missed it! And he landed hard on his elbow! He gets up. Krow comes up behind him. Side Russian Legsweep! And he floats over and locks in the fujiwara armbar! He has him!

Edible: Not really, Repo! He is close to the ropes! He is just a little bit away!

SoR: Krow is wrenching that arm, trying to make him tap before he reaches the ropes! But Halycon reaches the ropes in time. But Krow is not letting go of the hold. The ref counts for him to let go and he finally breaks the hold!

Edible: And these idiots are cheering this?

Krow Irish Whips Halycon to the ropes. Krow lifts Halycon up in a Military Press. Halycon breaks free and lands, then delivers a dropkick to the back of Jason Krow. Halycon grabs Jason Krow and lifts him up in a vertical suplex. He holds him up for about ten seconds, then drives him violently forward with a Uranage Slam.

Edible: Shouten by Halycon! And he motions to the crowd that he is going to finish this arrogant upstart! He picks up Krow and has him up in the Fireman's Carry!

SoR: Krow is fighting back. Elbows to the head of Halycon! Krow is out of Halycon's hold! Halycon turns around, Krow picks him up in a Fireman's Carry of his own! Spins him around! The Near Death Experience! Halycon is out!

Edible: But so is Krow! He has taken a beating! That was his last bit of strength!

SoR: The ref starts to count both men, who are both out of it.

1...2...3...4...5...6...7

SoR: Halycon is up first and goes to the corner, stalking Krow!

Halcyon charges at Krow, looking for a spear.

SoR: HALYCON LOOKING FOR A SPEAR! AND MISSES! Krow’s behind him and hits him with a tiltawhirl DDT! No cover by Krow, and Krow is going right back up to the top! He holds up the X sign to the crowd, some of who return it in kind


Edible: Krow’s a moron. He could've won the match right there. But, no he's gotta please the moron fans.

SoR: Krow is on the top, and Halcyon is up! FLYING CROSSBODY! AND HALYCON CATCHES CROW!

Edible: He throws Krow over his shoulders into a Fireman's Carry!! HALYCONIC HAMMER! Krow is down and out! Cover! 1...2...3! Halycon wins!

After the ref counts three, Krow kicks out, but is too late!

SoR: Krow kicked out, but was too late in kicking out! Halycon doesn't look to be amused or impressed by the foritutde of Jason Krow!

Cherry: The winner of the Match...KIERAN HALYCON!

Kieran Halycon (8.2 aps + 1.5 avs = 9.7 total)
Jason Krow (8.23 aps + 1.3 avs = 9.53 total)

After the ref raises his hand, Halycon kicks Jason Krow in the back, knocking the young man down. He goes under the ring looking for a weapon.

SoR: What a brutal match. Halcyon is a force to watch out for, if your an FMW superstar. And what's Halcyon doing?!? He's got a crowbar in his hand!

Edible: Kill him Halcyon!

Halycon stalks Krow, who is getting to his feet. Halycon goes to swing the crowbar at Krow, but Krow hits him with a Superkick out of nowhere, knocking Halycon down and making him drop the weapon. Jason Krow sees the weapon and grabs a hold of it. Halycon starts to get up, holding his jaw!

SoR: What an escape by Jason Krow, and the tables appear to have turned!

Edible: Now that unstable idiot has the crowbar! Someone get security in here!

Halycon gets up and turns around to see Jason Krow coming at him with the crowbar. He drops to the floor at the last second and rolls out of the ring, making Jason miss and hit the top turnbuckle, making the top ropes break and fall!

Halycon runs to the top of the stage and stares a hole into Jason Krow, who holds the crowbar close to his face and starts to lick the crowbar! He then stares at Kieran Halycon, who is standing on the stage, motions with his fingers that he was so close to taking his head off and showing his hardcore nature with the crowbar.

Edible: Somebody send this sick freak to the insane asylum! He is trying to kill people and licking crowbars!

SoR: What an interesting and slightly disturbing development we have going on here with Jason Krow and Kieran Halycon!

The camera cuts backstage where Action Jackson is moving quickly, followe by the camera man.

Action Jackson: Whats crack-a-lackin' America? Your favorite Brotha Action Jackson here and I've been informed that Dalby Sound is-

Action Jackson, not paying attention, bumps into Dalby Sound.

Dalby: Watch where your walking, moron.

Action Jackson: Damn... that hurt... oh! Excuse me! Dalby! A word about your match please!

Dalby: A word? You want a word? Here's a few. Get. Lost.

Action Jackson: Whats your opinion on-

Dalby: My opinion? Not even olympic gold medalists could save this Westley asshole. Now get out of my way. There's an angry Dalby coming up next.

Dalby pushes past Jackson and the camera man as the scene cuts to the ring.

Cherry: The following match is scheduled for one fall and is THE MILLION DOLLAR CHALLENGE!

Who are you to wave your fingers, you must have been out your head…….

Incubus - "Megalomaniac" hits to a loud pop.

SoR: And folks this is Dalby Sound's last match in FMW.

Edible: Thank god. The guy bored me anyway.

Dalby looks serious as he walks down the ramp before sliding into the ring.

Cherry: Introducing first from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada.... DALBY SOUNDD

Zombie Nation- Kernkraft 400 hits as the cocky Westly McGreggor struts down the ramp with the FMW Light Heavyweight Championship slung over his shoulder.

Cherry: And from Manchester, England..... WESTLY MCGREGGOR!!!!!

Westly slides into the ring throwing his belt at the referee and getting in Dalby's face. Westly slaps Dalby right in the face.

SoR: And Westly has no respect for Dalby at all! AND DALBY responds with a kick to the midsection of Westly and a snap suplex!

Dalby is now mounted on top of Westly pounding him with punches. Westly desperately tries to get Dalby off him. Dalby stands up and kicks Westly in the back.

SoR: Dalby is fired up!

Edible: Dalby best not hurt Westly too much. Otherwise he might have to answer to our wonderful boss.

SoR: Dalby's last match is tonight moron. He doesn't need to answer to anyone!

Edible: We'll see about that.

Westly acts like his back his broken and struggles to get up. Dalby decides not to wait and grabs him.

SoR: He goes for a Bridging German Suplex AND CONNECTS! DALBY HAS THE COVER!

1...
2...
kickout.

SoR: And a kickout by Westly.

Edible: The heart of Westly is unbelievable. Rudy has nothing on this kid!

Sound stalks Westly. Westly stands up as Sound goes for a Shining Wizard but misses. Westly rolls up Sound for the cover.

Edible: WESTLY IS ABOUT TO UPSET SOUND!

1...
kickout.

SoR: No. Not quite.

Edible: Shut up!

SoR: No. Both men are up now and Westly kicks Dalby in the stomach. He's looking for a DDT and connects!

Edible: What a picture perfect DDT by Westly.

SoR: Meh.... I've seen much better.

Edible: You're so old Repo, you've wrestled the man who invented the DDT.

SoR: Jake Roberts? No I've never wrestled Jake Roberts. Westly is on the top rope. Sound is up and A FLYING CROSS BODY BY WESTLY! AND CONNECTS! BUT DALBY ROLLS WESTLY OVER HIM AND HAS A COVER!

1....
2...
thr...
kickout.

SoR: An impressive reversal by Sound wasn't enough. Both men are back up and Dalby approaches Westly, but a SPEAR BY WESTLY! Westly has the cover!

1...
2...
thre...
kickout.

SoR: The ref's hand was inches away from touching the cavana! And the cocky Westly is arguing with the referee.

Edible: Don't get DQ'd you moron!

SoR: And little does Westly know, that Dalby Sound is recovering from that spear. Westly turns around and grabs Sound he's got him clutched in. A reverse STO! BUT WAIT! Russian LEG SWEEP BY SOUND. Weslty immediately get back up to his feet. TORNADO DDT by DALBY! AND NOW SOUND IS STALKING WESTLY! Westly's getting up and Dalby is behind him.

Edible: NO WESTLY! GET BACK DOWN!

SoR: A full nelson and an I-TAP! THE I-TAP IS LOCKED IN! AND WESTLY IS TAPPING! IT'S OVER! DALBY WINS! SOUND WINS!


Cherry: The winner of this match, DALBBBBBBYYY SOUNDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!

The reception Dalby gets is enormous. All of a sudden a huge "THANK YOU DALBY" chant erupts. Dalby puts one arm up and points to the fans, before stepping out of the ring before going to the back. Right before he hit the curtains he stops and mouths the words "Thank You" to the fans.

Backstage, T. Ekstreme is flipping out, throwing things all over the Creative Control dressing room. Potted plants, chairs, couches, cusions, magazines. Nothing is safe.

Ekstreme: God Dammit! That was bullshit! BULLSHIT!

Slegnadamus: He must not have payed enough attention to Mister Arquette.

Steve-E: Yeah, that plan was fool-proof.

Ekstreme: God DAMMIT! Steve-E, we're on, get the sand out of your ass and lets go.

Ekstreme and Steve-E walk out of the locker room and bump into Styxx.

Ekstreme: Oh, great. Just great. The exact person I wanted to see right now.

Styxx: I saw your boy out there. Tisk tisk... money cant buy everything, can it Ekstreme?

Ekstreme turns around, his face bright red and motions like he's going to punch Styxx but stops.

Ekstreme: You know what, you massive retard, I dont need to give Steve-E here any help before the match. Be glad you still have both knee caps you massive son of a bitch.

Styxx spits at Ekstreme's feet.

Styxx: Thats what I think of you.

Ekstreme goes to talk when Steve-E walks up in front of him and spits on Styxx's face.

Steve-E: And thats what I think of you, you piece of shit.

The two men stare bullets into each other.

Steve-E: We will NOT go oh and two tonight, Styxx. You best believe that.

Steve-E and Ekstreme walk away, still staring at Styxx.

Ekstreme: We will NOT go oh and two you asshat!

Styxx glares at them before smiling and laughing. The scene cuts to the ring.

Jet Black New Year by Thursday blasts through the speakers as Steve-E is accompanied through the curtain by Undergound General Manager T. Ekstreme. The crowd erupts in a rousing boo as the duo smile all the way down the ramp. They stop in front of the ring and as Steve-E stares at the glass in front of him, Ekstreme takes his Television Tag Team Championship Belt off his waist. Steve-E enters the ring as Ekstreme takes a position at the announcers booth.

Edible: And greatness takes its place. I am not worthy.

Ekstreme: A man of your stature is always worthy, Edible. Im just sorry you have to share with this piece of trash.

SoR: Nice to see you too.

Ekstreme: Yeah. Love you, too.

Sick, Sick, Sick by QOTSA plays through the speakers as the monstrous Styxx makes his way through the curtain and out to the ring, much to the excitement of the crowd.[/i]

Ekstreme: What a joke. Steve-E is going to kill him.

SoR: So, Ekstreme, explain this match’s concept to our viewers. From what I understand this is your original idea.

Ekstreme: You’re damn right it is. Something this genius could only come from my mind. As you can clearly see, two sides of the ropes are removed, and instead large containers, almost like sandboxes, are placed on the floor near the ring. They are then filled with shards of glass. Also, as you can see again, the remaining ropes are rigged with fluorescent light tubes that are rigged to explode when hit. No matter where you turn, you’re guaranteed to bleed.

Edible: That’s so disgusting… I love it.

SoR: I thought you hated hardcore wrestling?

Edible: Nope, never said it.

Styxx stares at Steve-E, who motions for him to bring it on. Styxx walks through the glass and climbs into the ring.

SoR: Styxx playing some mind games on his opponent.

Ekstreme: Its useless. Steve-E is sharp as a tack.

SoR: Right… right… anyway, there’s the bell! Steve-E charges Styxx! He throws rights and lefts! Styxx just tosses him back! Steve-E is up again and charging! Same result!

Edible: Look at the resilience! That’s the spirit of a champion right there.

Esktreme: What do you expect when they’re trained by the best?

SoR: Oh, yeah? And who’s that?

Ekstreme: Watch your tongue lest I have it cut out, Repo.

SoR: Ouch, your words, they hurt me.

Steve-E is slower to get up this time as Styxx charges him and kicks him with a massive boot to the side of his face. The crowd lets out a gasp as the leather of Styxx’s boot echoes through the building.

SoR: Steve-E is in a world of hurt as Styxx lifts him up! Styxx whips Stallion! NO! Stallion slides right before hitting those ropes!

Ekstreme: Genius! That’s what hours of preparation do for you!

Edible: Couldn’t say it better myself.

Ekstreme: I know.

SoR: Styxx walks over to Steve-E, OH MY GOD!

Steve-E quickly takes out Styxx’s legs and the monster falls face first into the light tubes. The crowd jets out a “holy shit” as the ropes explode. Styxx shoots up quickly, his hands covering his face, blood slipping from the cracks in his fingers.

SoR: He’s blind! Styxx has to be blind!

Ekstreme: Greatness. This match is in the bag.

SoR: Styxx throwing rights and lefts blindly, Steve-E is just toying with him!

Edible: The mark of a champion! This is over!

SoR: Styxx could be seriously hurt and all you can talk about is Steve-E winning!? You’re both heartless!

Ekstreme: No, just a realist.

Styxx stumbles over towards the side of the ring. Steve-E smiles as he walks behind him and motions to the crowd to keep quiet. He goes to the opposite side and prepares to charge forward.

SoR: STEVE-E IS CHARGING! STYXX IS GOING TO GO RIGHT IN THAT GLASS!

Edible: Get sliced you piece of garbage!

Ekstreme: This is going to be excellent.

Steve-E rams Styxx in the back full-speed. Styxx flies forward and just lands on the edge of the box filled with glass. He rolls through and clutches his upper arm, where a few shards have stuck in. He finally reveals his face in doing so and shows the blood flowing from his forehead where a few shards of glass are stuck in.

SoR: This match is sick! You’re sick Ekstreme!

Ekstreme: Giving the people what they want, Repo. Its my job and I’m quite good at it.

Edible: Look at Steve-E! He’s going to try and Dragonrana Styxx back into the glass! He leaps! NO! DAMMIT!

Ekstreme: SHIT!

SoR: Looks like he wasn’t blind at all! Styxx grabs Steve-E in mid air! OH DEAR GOD! POWERBOMB INTO THE GLASS!

Edible: HES DEAD! STEVE-E IS DEAD!

Ekstreme: Shut your mouth before I do it for you!

The crowd chants “holy shit” once more as Steve-E screams in pain, dozens of shards protruding from his back. Styxx covers Steve-E in the glass.

SoR: Styxx with the cover! One, TWO- NO! STEVE-E KICKS OUT! HOW DID HE DO THAT!?

Ekstreme: Heart of a champion, Repo. Something you don’t possess.

SoR: If I had someone to award me titles, I’d think I’d have one too.

Ekstreme: You keep moving me closer to the edge, Repo. Don’t make me do something you will regret.

Styxx stands, glass crunching under his feet. He tosses Steve-E into the ring and rips a light tube off the ropes.

SoR: Styxx with that tube! HE CRUSHES IT OVER STEVE-E!

Edible: That bastard!

SoR: Styxx rips off another one! AGAIN IT CRASHES OVER STEVE-E!

Edible: He’s obviously cheating. The bastard cheater.

SoR: He’s using everything to his advantage, that’s not cheating.

Edible: Shut up. Your mother never loved you.

Styxx places the broke tubes on the mat and tries to shove Steve-E’s face into the jagged pieces. Steve-E resists and lands a few elbows to Styxx’s face. He then quickly takes one of the tubes and cracks Styxx in the head with it, shattering to dust on impact.

SoR: Steve-E will not stay down!

Ekstreme: Exactly.

Edible: Back the winning horse, Repo. Support Steve-E.

SoR: Steve-E runs to the ropes. He leaps off the available side, FLYING CLOTHESLINE!

Edible: Vicious!

SoR: Styxx stumbles back up! Both men are torn to pieces! Steve-E charges, OH MY GOD! STYXX BACKDROPS STEVE-E OVER HIMSELF IN DEFENSE!

Edible: NO!

Steve-E flies over Styxx and lands stomach first on top of the ropes. They explode and Steve-E’s trunks catch on fire. Quickly he pops off and begins rolling around on the ground to put himself out.

Edible: Oh dear god.

SoR: Steve-E is on fire! He’s burning!

As Steve-E puts out the fire, Styxx approaches him and wipes the blood from his eyes.

SoR: Styxx lifting Steve-E! GANSO BOMB! GANSO BOMB ONTO GLASS SHARDS! DEAR GOD END THIS MATCH! PLEASE JUST CALL THIS MATCH!

Ekstreme: Nobody calls this match until a pinfall, Repo. Both men knew the risks of it going in.

SoR: You’re a monster. You’d sacrifice your own man, your own protégée for what? Whats the purpose behind this!

Ekstreme: You clearly don’t understand whats behind this match, so I’m not going to explain it to you.

Styxx wipes the blood from his face as he stumbles around the ring for a moment. He walks over to the side of the ring where Steve-E sits in the box of glass. As Styxx gets closer, Steve-E begins to get up. When Styxx is near the side of the ring Steve-E punches him in the gut and lands a quick low blow.

SoR: LOW BLOW! LOW BLOW!

Ekstreme: Its all legal in here, Repo. You should know that.

SoR: Steve-E gets up on the side of the ring, CROSS ARMED DDT! AMERICAN BACKYARD MASSACRE ONTO THE RING!

Ekstreme: Yeah, I taught him that. He calls it the T2T though.

SoR: Steve-E struggles to get Styxx up, Styxx trying to fight back! Right! Left! Right again! Steve-E is teetering near that glass again!

Styxx throws a haymaker but Steve-E ducks. As Styxx spins around, Steve-E chop blocks Styxx and stands up, dropping Styxx back into the glass in a modified Electric Chair Drop.

Edible: Look at the strength and cunning of Steve-E!

Suddenly, T. Ekstreme stands up and runs over to the side of the ring and pulls a large metal bucket from under it. Ekstreme moves quickly and slaps Steve-E in the face a few times to revive him. As Steve-E gets up, Ekstreme points to the bucket.

SoR: Ekstreme pointing to that bucket. Steve-E picks it up, OH DEAR GOD!

Edible: GENIUS!

SoR: STEVE-E IS DUMPING SALT ON THE SHREDDED BODY OF STYXX! LISTEN TO HIS SCREAMS!

Edible: Look at this team work here! Steve-E hops up on the ring and Ekstreme propels him! MOONSAULT IN THE GLASS!

SoR: Steve-E holds for the pin! ONE, TWO, THREE! THIS MATCH IS OVER! THANK GOD!

Cherry: Here is your winner, STEVE-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Steve-E (7.75 aps + 1.1 avs = 8.85)
Styxx (0.0 aps + 1.5 avs = 1.5)


Steve-E can barely stand as T. Ekstreme holds him up and raises high his title belt. Paramedics rush out and tend to Styxx. Steve-E shoves them out of the way as they try to tend to him and stares at the body of Styxx as he is carried away. The scene fades to black.