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 DAN-DAN LETHAL INJECTION FEEDBACK

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Dano




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Join date : 2009-12-13

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FMW Superstar: Mick O'Connell
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PostSubject: DAN-DAN LETHAL INJECTION FEEDBACK   DAN-DAN LETHAL INJECTION FEEDBACK I_icon_minitimeMon Apr 05, 2010 2:07 pm

DANO'S UNORIGINAL DIGITAL FEEDBACK EMPORIUM THREAD: LI EDITION

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FEEDBACK!!!!


Mr. Quint: As I've said to you over several PMs. I hate this direction you're going. I hate the character and I hate you even more. You couldn't write yourself out of a wet paper bag. You have no chance in this match. I hope Jaro trounces you. Never use my character in your promo again. You're a jerk BUT dammit, you're goddamn sexy...

Mr. Austin: Now this is more like it. It's is my favourite promo of yours EVER! I'm a sucker for pacing and this promo clipped along at a really natural pace and really sucked me in. The dream at the beginning was really insightful and intriguing. I really loved the Cain and Abel part though it was really effective putting across how Austin feels going into the match. The sense of being over looked in favour of somebody who , in Austin's eyes, has been given a lot more opportunities in his short time in FMW than RCA has in his time with company. It was really creative and included some really nice bits of writing. I see know why you're held in such high esteem by all and sundry here. The closing segment was solid and built to a nice ending statement. A stride hitting promo if I've ever seen one.

Mr. Frost: You're my bro so I'm going to break this thing down for you old school..

OPENING Nice, gradual opening portion settling up all that needs to be set up. Nothing spectacular but it does what it has to be and puts the right cards out on the table for the rest of the promo. At this point I have to admit thinking "This is okay but fuck I've a long way to go until the end"

Small Town Girl I have to admit you hooked me with this piece. Hook, line and sinker. The whole "chapter" was really intriguing and got me thinking "What is he doing?". I laughed to myself afte the bartender line and the banter between Amy and Hannibal was really natural and charming as fuck. I've always marveled at your skill with dialogue. At this point I was thinking "ME WANT MOREZ".

Austin Carter of Hollywood You did what all great writers can do natural, you plant and seed in a previous chapter and then it sprouts out into an "Oh fuck..." moment at the end of another chapter. It makes the reader forget about everything else and just want to move on and read some more. At this point I was thinking "I'm really getting into this...."

Up The Creek... Sans Paddle Love the closing line i have to say. I really got into the dynamic between Hannibal and Nick in this chapter, and into Hannibal himself. I liked how you brought some focus back around to Lethal Injection too, and the prophecy. I was too taken with the SPOILER!="werewolf " reveal or the SPOILER! "vampire" reveal. I don't know, I think I just expected it to be BIGGER! I know that Hannibal accepted straight away and remarked exasperated "Just another day in the office" but I was kind of let down it slipped out so easy. I'm a big fan of supernatural, fantasy, modern day, action literature so by the need of this chapter I was thinking "Okay, that was alright but bring it on"

An Armory With A View

Have To Run, I'll finish this later.
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