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 Baby Got (feed) Back

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Alex O'Rion
PX
RCA
Abel Steele
8 posters
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Abel Steele
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Head Writer
Abel Steele


Posts : 986
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Join date : 2009-12-05
Age : 44
Location : Western Australia

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FMW Superstar: Abel Steele
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PostSubject: Baby Got (feed) Back   Baby Got (feed) Back I_icon_minitimeTue Jun 22, 2010 9:43 pm

I gotz the time, if you want my opinion just shout out. Nothing expected in return (this show anyways)...


RCA:

Pro:
I won't talk about your shoot on CS because as others have said it was good and it's what you ALWAYS do well. So what else did I like? Well contrary to some others I actually liked the bit with your "son" (on the whole) I had in my mind a reassuring smile for the boy as Austin half sung the words, but the smile not touching his eyes which were dancing to a whole other beat as he contemplates his hate and vengeance for his own father....using the fathers own song with such malevolence and an entire other meaning to the words if you look for it......was seriously twisted and I liked it.

Con:
The irony of RCA getting raped was delicious for sure but I for one found the aftermath a little underwhelming. Being raped is a moment of utter humiliation as the individual's sense of control is completely stripped away. I would think you could have done this better than having Austin admit his rape
so easily to O'Rion. Also to say that "good sex is good sex" ...... unless that was Austin trying to jokingly cover his shame in front of O'Rion (and I didn't get that) just felt wrong to me. The whole current RCA gimmick to me developed from the loss of control over his life that occured with the birth of his "brother/son". For him to now have control stripped from him AGAIN at the most base level would have been a complete destruction of everything he has been about since (teaching everyone else in FMW a lesson because he is in control, raping women=taking control of them)

An awesome idea to have RCA on the receiving end but could've been done so much better and should have gotten more attention IMO...

PX

Pros: The scene with your mirror image was strong. I turly get the feeling that Doc actually is an icon to you in an OOC sense from the way you wrote that. The conflicting emotions of wanting to get the job done and prove yourself over someone you have idolised come through strong. That is an issue most people can identify with from their own lives, even the whole son surpassing the father scenario at sport/academia/etc.. the whole thing was well done IMO

The interruption from the girl was annoyingly light on details. So annoyingly light I am absolutely hooked to find out what the hell she is all about. Love it....

Cons: Ok close your eyes for a moment...... now open them.

WHACK

I just smacked you right between the eyes with a steaming pile of symbolism. As someone pointed out to me in previous feedback on my promos you may as well have just called Lou "Derrick" for all the subtlety you employed. It sucked balls when I did it and it is pretty bad here too. The point of using symbolism is to say something without ever actually having to say it, but you may as well have just replaced the whole scene with "Hey Doc, you're old and past your best"

Seth:

Before I start this is probably one of your best promos.

Pros:

I like the comedy which is not something I have seen from you very often before. It appears to suit your style quite well. The parody of the mortal kombat parody was a LOL moment.

Doing a SAW parody was quite a good idea particularly in a match vs the mind games of Dunn and the other dunn

Cons:

I am not really sure why you spent so much time on characters who are not involved in the match. I couldn't remember who you were facing before I started reading and had to check halfway through that it wasn't a clusterfuck match.

Alex O:

Pros:

This goes to both you and RCA (hadn't read yours when I did RCA's feedback otherwise I'd have told him too) Nothing makes a Tag Team promo work better than if they actually work together. The sum of the parts is greater than the whole (wait I got that ass about).
I liked the sotrytelling style. It's something different and I think it worked very well for the most part.
Truth be told I liked pretty much all of it

Cons:

I'm stretching to find something I didn't like. Saving the hooker from her miserable life ..... that's pretty cliche.



Last edited by Abel Steele on Wed Jun 23, 2010 12:03 pm; edited 6 times in total
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RCA
Full Metal Champion
Full Metal Champion



Posts : 3158
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Age : 35

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FMW Superstar: Chris Austin
Championship: FMW C-4 Champion, FMW World Tag Team Champion

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PostSubject: Re: Baby Got (feed) Back   Baby Got (feed) Back I_icon_minitimeTue Jun 22, 2010 9:47 pm

This might give Skyler's name a run.

I wants feedback.
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PX

PX


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PostSubject: Re: Baby Got (feed) Back   Baby Got (feed) Back I_icon_minitimeTue Jun 22, 2010 10:17 pm

I wasnt that happy with it, but I'll still listen to some feed
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Abel Steele
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Abel Steele


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PostSubject: Re: Baby Got (feed) Back   Baby Got (feed) Back I_icon_minitimeTue Jun 22, 2010 10:23 pm

PX wrote:
I wasnt that happy with it, but I'll still listen to some feed

NO FEEDBACK FOR YOU!!........... well ok, but I hope you choke on it!
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RCA
Full Metal Champion
Full Metal Champion



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FMW Superstar: Chris Austin
Championship: FMW C-4 Champion, FMW World Tag Team Champion

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PostSubject: Re: Baby Got (feed) Back   Baby Got (feed) Back I_icon_minitimeTue Jun 22, 2010 11:23 pm

May I ask you a question sir?

If someone is raped, and is able to find some kind of enjoyment out of it...

Wouldn't you think that the victim was either A: Never raped (and he was)

or B: Has something wrong with him.

I was going for B, hence O'Rion's "You're action-packed with issues."
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Alex O'Rion

Alex O'Rion


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PostSubject: Re: Baby Got (feed) Back   Baby Got (feed) Back I_icon_minitimeTue Jun 22, 2010 11:33 pm

May I get some good sir?
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Abel Steele
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Abel Steele


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PostSubject: Re: Baby Got (feed) Back   Baby Got (feed) Back I_icon_minitimeTue Jun 22, 2010 11:42 pm

Yeh I get that you meant for me to reach conclusion B, and I did because it was pretty obvious after the line from O'Rion that's what you wanted me to think.

My point is that for someone whose whole gimmick has come accross to me recently as being in control of every situation because what happened with the family shook him to his core... I just thought it would have been about the worst thing possible that could happen to him.
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RCA
Full Metal Champion
Full Metal Champion



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FMW Superstar: Chris Austin
Championship: FMW C-4 Champion, FMW World Tag Team Champion

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PostSubject: Re: Baby Got (feed) Back   Baby Got (feed) Back I_icon_minitimeTue Jun 22, 2010 11:45 pm

Well, I do plan to have him deal with it.

In this next promo.
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Abel Steele
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Abel Steele


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PostSubject: Re: Baby Got (feed) Back   Baby Got (feed) Back I_icon_minitimeWed Jun 23, 2010 12:04 am

Then I shall look forward to it.

Don't get me wrong, the promo was high quality. I just thought it could have been better
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Omega

Omega


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PostSubject: Re: Baby Got (feed) Back   Baby Got (feed) Back I_icon_minitimeWed Jun 23, 2010 3:30 am

I could use some Abel Steele feedback.

Very Happy
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Abel Steele
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Abel Steele


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PostSubject: Re: Baby Got (feed) Back   Baby Got (feed) Back I_icon_minitimeWed Jun 23, 2010 3:38 am

Seth and Alex O ... I will get to you guys tonight. The browser I use at work is making me scroll sideways and down as I read promos and it's giving me the shits.

PS whoever posted a big picture or something .....dammit
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Omega

Omega


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PostSubject: Re: Baby Got (feed) Back   Baby Got (feed) Back I_icon_minitimeWed Jun 23, 2010 3:46 am

Awesome, thanks Abel.

Oh, and that might be the Jarosaw GIF.
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Matt Dunn

Matt Dunn


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PostSubject: Re: Baby Got (feed) Back   Baby Got (feed) Back I_icon_minitimeWed Jun 23, 2010 7:33 am

Want.

=D
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PX

PX


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PostSubject: Re: Baby Got (feed) Back   Baby Got (feed) Back I_icon_minitimeWed Jun 23, 2010 9:08 am

Yeah, in regards to that 2nd half, at that stage I just wanted to get it done, and wasn't putting my all into it, I could tell it was the weaker part of this hands down.
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The Celt

The Celt


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PostSubject: Re: Baby Got (feed) Back   Baby Got (feed) Back I_icon_minitimeWed Jun 23, 2010 9:57 am

I don't normally ask for feedback, but with this promo I think it might be worth it

Feedback please.
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Skyler Striker
FMW C-4 Champion
FMW C-4 Champion
Skyler Striker


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PostSubject: Re: Baby Got (feed) Back   Baby Got (feed) Back I_icon_minitimeWed Jun 23, 2010 10:48 am

I'd like some feedback kthx.
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Abel Steele
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Abel Steele


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PostSubject: Re: Baby Got (feed) Back   Baby Got (feed) Back I_icon_minitimeWed Jun 23, 2010 12:01 pm

Updated for Alex/Seth.

Celt/Dunn/Skyler to be done hopefully tomorrow. Might have to leave it at that for this show.

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