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 A Murder of 11.1 crows- Crow's Feedback

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Gabriel Crow

Posts : 257
Rep : 0
Join date : 2009-12-06
Age : 38

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FMW Superstar: Gabriel Crow

PostSubject: A Murder of 11.1 crows- Crow's Feedback   Mon May 10, 2010 2:14 pm

I'll insert some feedback here for people's promos. I won't do everyones. I'll do as many as I can.

Clarke: What can I say here? You've gotten yourself into a real rhythm over the last cycle leading up to the reformation of HavOc. I think that this promo is leading in an excellent direction for the group and for the reformed Harley Quint. Personally, stories of redemption are interesting but if I could make one suggestion: Continue teasing the possible return of Harlequin the entity. The constant struggle between Harley Quint and Harlequin is probably going to be the most interesting aspect of the character for the foreseeable future. Also, I like the idea behind the Order of Assissi.

RCA: I have to say, I felt creeped out by Austin and I think that was the point. The character continues its descent into darkness and its a generally excellent trip. So far, I'm enjoying the journey. The exchange at the end with Drew and Alex O'Rion was well written and I enjoyed the piece overall.

MC Steel: Since this is your first promo with FMW, I'm not gonna be too harsh. I'll leave that for someone else. What I will say this: Promos of this size don't tell us anything about your character. This is something that would be appropriate for the TT thread. I understand that life caught up with you and having something is better than having nothing. If the other two had no-showed, you would have gotten the match by default. Since Jason Krow has put up a promo, stuff like this isn't going to get you W's in this e-fed.

Jason Krow: I recently saw your post in the OOC room for feedback, so here it is. Never apologize for having lengthy promos. Sometimes to get the story you want to tell done properly, you have to write more than the average promo. Now, the promo itself was a good first step here. You've established your character, from the attitude to the goals he wants to see accomplished. The first part felt a little too much like a TT thread post but it was effective, not mention funny at times. Overall, you're my clear favorite in this match, both due to the effort put into the promo and the way it conveyed your character to me as a reader.

Drew & Kaoru: Since I haven't had to do this in quite some time, I'll state this: I don't review promos for people I'm in a match with. To me, it would come off as either cheap shots taken to undermine your chances of winning (and come off as being afraid the promos were better) or claiming the promos were better and hurt my own chances. I'll say this though: it's going to come down to the votes and may the best man win. I've got nothing but respect for both you as writers.

Hannibal Frost: Hannibal, I think this is an excellent starting point for the character now that HavOc has been reformed. It's similar to the promo Clarke posted but different enough to allow the Frost character to grow. The central question of whether or not HavOc can exist without delving back into the hellish group that previously existed is going to be a very interesting story to read. Also, the interaction between Syanide (who's obviously still working on his heelish character) and Frost was well-written. Overall, great work.

Romeo: Meh...that's really all I can say. Normally, I enjoy the hell outta your promos. If my computer hadn't died on me when the voting came up for Lethal Injection, you would've had my vote for sure. This time, I can't say the same thing. Compared to Clarke's promo, this is just lacking in so many ways. There really isn't much meat to sink my teeth into in this promo.
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