This week really did test peoples ability to work together. To manage their time and produce the best they could within some restrictions. In fantastic fashion, every tribe submitted a piece and each piece was scored accordingly:
/5.0 for Promo quality
/1.0 for colors
/1.0 for use of Ozzy
/1.0 for remark of last weeks challange.
So with that in mind, our scoring team deliberated on each score and eventually came to a conclusion.
HOWEVER before scores are revealed, I have a secret to share. For this round, not only will 3 losing tribe members leave, but so will 4 others. As at the end of these results each team will be required to eliminate one (/extra) person from their tribe, however these eliminations are to be specific on two factors, PARTICIPATION & ACTIVENESS.With that dwelling in your mind, here are the results.
in 4th place, with a total score of 5.50... (name at bottom)Next time on Might Efron Power Survivors….
The wild Sex Panther is destroy the city, while the Survivors are wandering around in public, for no apparent reason!
Kelson: Ares, I’m getting a transmission from Zordon… gather round my tiny projector wrist band!
Zachariah: I’m coming guys. What did he say?
Ares: So far the city’s being destroyed, and they need us!
Striker: Then you know what to do…
All Four: IT’S EFRON TIME!!!
Striker: 17 Again!
Ares: Hairspray!
Zachariah: Summerland!
Kelson: High School Musicals One Through Three!!
The four glow after shouting bits of Efron’s film and television career and are transformed into colored suits with replica Efron wigs on. Striker is Green, Eres is Red, Zachariah is Yellow, and Kelson is Orange. The four pose for a moment before looking around.
Kelson: Aren’t there supposed to be five of us?
Ares: Where’s Butters?
Zachariah: No-show McGee isn’t here…
Suddenly in the distance a figure is seen running up in a misfiting violet suit,
Butters: GUYS!!! I’m Here, don’t fight The Hallowed Order without me!!
Striker: What a boob.
Kelson: Focus men, we need to stop these evil-doers. Looks like the Church of Drew has joined them.
Ares: Looks like there’s only one thing we can do now… form up!
The Five jump into the air and pose all pointing their fingers at the bad guys, screaming as energy shoots out of their fingers and they call out their attack in unison.
Might Efron Power Survivors: SIX-HUNDRED AND TWENTY-SEVEN SPAM POSTS ATTACK!!!!!
The beam of pure spam posts fills their faces until they explode, and the Survivors land on the ground and pose triumphantly.
Butters: I actually beat someone?
Striker: One problem guys.
Ares: What, we won… there’s no problems.
Zachariah: I think I know what he means… we missed a couple rules.
Kelson: Damn, I think we get disqualified then…
AND NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS…
OZZY: HeythereeverybodythisisOzzy.
Sharon: I’ll translate in a grating accent. Ozzy wants to say something very important. Go ahead Ozzy.
OZZY: Blue and Indigo. Thank You! Ahaahahahahahaha!!
T.O.P.W.W.T.H.Z.E.H.B.R.H.H. (Tribe Of People Who Wish They had Zac Efron's Hair But Really Hate Him)
A galiant effort, but unfornunately unable to achieve victory.
Yet, onwards to 3rd place.
In 3rd place, weighing in at 5.65 points...The members of the Church as seen sitting around, tossing a ball back and forth over the head of Bryce Thorne. Thorne, is seen whining, trying to catch the ball to no avail as the rest of the Church laughsJust then Harlequin bursts through the front doors of the Church, panting due to lack of breath.Harlequin: Z...Z...ZOMBIES!
A gasp is let out as the ball drops and rolls along the ground.Romeo: Suit up men, it's Zombie Killing time!In a fantastical scene of flashing lights the Church of Drew and the ZombieKillers begin to transform.Gray: Yellow Ranger Power!
(It takes 1 minute for Gray to show up for his transformation shot.) Sorry, I was fapping.
Bryce: Orange Ranger Power!
Romeo: Ambiguously Blue or Indigo Ranger Power!
Harlequin: Violet Ranger Power!
Drew: Red and Green Ranger Power!
The transformations are complete as Harlequin and Gray are left in their female Ranger outfits.Romeo: Nice skirts, what the hell is a Violet Ranger anyways?
Harlequin: Shut up. Someone needed to do it.
Gray: I can trade with you if you want. I'm also the Half-Fag Ranger.
Harlequin: I'll bear it, we don't have enough time or text space to do another costume change. Why was Drew two colors anyways? And what color are you exactly, Romeo?
Romeo: I'm either Indigo or Blue, it doesn't matter!
Drew: And I'm two colors, because of this, that's why!
A pulse of light emnates from Drew as he is seen with flowing white robes and a halo atop his head.Bryce: Red and Green = Jesus?
Gray shakes a magic 8-ballGray: It is decidedly so.
Romeo: That's Zombiekiller Jesus to you, Mr. Movie Star.
Drew: And I make it look good too,
damn hell ass good.
Bursting force from the Church Headquarters the team comes face to face with their Zombie... who looks just like the legendary Ozzy Osbourne, mainly because...Drew: You idiot, that's not a Zombie, that's Ozzy Osbourne!
Harlequin: Really? I heard him babbling incoherently and I could sworn it was Zombie Eastwood.
Romeo: I wish he had of babbled incoherently during the last challenge. Maybe we would have won.
Bryce: He probably went all emo DunnWood and cut his wrists afterwards and that's why he's a zombie.
Gray: It's not Eastwood idiot, this is why we don't let you have the ball.
Drew: I can't believe you would be incompetent enough to get a damn hell ass rock star legend when I asked for a Zombie to kill.
Romeo: To be fair, Ozzy does kind of look like a Zombie already.
Bryce: I think it's close enough to be a Zombie.
Gray: Why are we capitalizing "Zombie"?
Romeo: Hush, or I'll lower your Relevance Score!
Harlequin: Well...we're here, should we kill him anyways? I'm already wearing a dress.
Drew: Well, since we've got nothing better to do...
Harlequin: That's a brilliant idea! We'll beat Z-Ozzy-mbie to death with Relevance scoreboards.
Bryce: This could work.
Romeo: Exceptional use of the Scoreboard.
Drew: We could dance around him while "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen plays, like in Shaun of the Dead.
Harlequin... Funny, I thought I was the one wearing the dress?
Gray: Don't forget about me!
Romeo: You're really not helping your cause right now.
Bryce looks at the Zombie and then at his Rolex watch.Bryce: Can we just kill the zombie now. I got an audition in a hour to play opposite Jennifer Aniston in a big movie.
Romeo raises his eyebrows towards Bryce.Romeo: I thought you were Blackballed?
Bryce:Well yeah, but-
Bryce stops to glare at Gray who is laughing uncontrollably.
Gray: Blackballed? Your balls are...
black?
The Church stands debating over the blackness of Bryce's aformentioned testicles as Ozzy saunters continually closer, all the while babbling incoherently.Romeo: You know what? If you're in such a big hurry Bryce, you just go. Go on now go! Walk out the door.
Harlequin: We're already outside?
Romeo: Just turn around now, you're not welcome anymore.
Striking a dramatic pose as Bryce begins to turn away, Harlequin and Gray, in their skirts, provide the harmony as Romeo continues to sing. Drew continues to watch.
Romeo: Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
you think I'd crumble...
Drew: Guys...
[i]Ozzy continues to slowly stagger closer to Drew as the remainder of the Church sings.Romeo: You think I'd lay down and die? Oh no, not I!
Drew: Guys, seriously.
Drew is seen holding the palm of his hand against the forehead of Ozzy Osbourne as he bites and claws at the air.Romeo: I will survive!
Harlequin: Uhh.. Ro?
Romeo: Yes?
Harlequin: Think we should help Drew?
Gray: Zombie Ozzy was a Zombie!?!?!
Drew: Yes! And you're off the team.
Grabbing the edges of his yellow skirt Gray kicks the ground below before pouting and walking away.Drew: Anytime now...
Harlequin: Oh! Right.
Shoving Zombie Ozzy away temporarily the three remaining members of The Church pull out their Relevance Scoreboards and take aim.Harlequin: DAMN!
Romeo: HELL!
Drew: ASS!
And with that, Zombie Ozzy was vanquished, and Gray is still wearing a skirt.Harlequin: Another one bites the dust!
Romeo: Aren't Power Rangers supposed to call out their zords, which roll out awesomely from the horizon, then pilot them individually to get their individual asses whooped, so that they can justify merging into the Megazord?
Gray: That only works when the evil monster suddenly takes steroids and grows ten times Big Show's size.
Bryce: Uh, guys...
Harlequin: Meh, he doesn't have enough promo space left to grow huge.
Drew: So that means we're done here, and this is the part where we ride off into the sunset.
Romeo: Awesome!
Suddenly it's sunset in the horizon, and our heroes walk towards the horizon, back turned to the camera.Drew: Ro?
Romeo: Yeah?
Drew: Next time you're going to sing a song, it better be Don't Stop Believing.
The Church of Drew and the Zombiekillers
A good read, but unable to reach that brass knuckle.
Anywho its a two horse race now... The Sexy Panthers and the Black Clowns, two teams yet to taste victory, who will win, who will be going home.
Now, in 2nd place, at a feat of 5.90...Fade in. Roundtable discussion with the Sex Panthers.RCA: So these Survivor competitions, a real bitch right? I mean, seriously…a posting competition? Do we look like internet nerds to them or something?
Omega: Oh shut up, coward.
RCA: So the fat ass is green with envy.
PX: I know right? He still thinks I robbed him of that TV title that sits proudly on my shoulder.
Mark: Fuck off, wanker. You almost got caught red-handed.
PX: But I didn’t so shove it, roo-fucker!
Mark: How does that even make sense? I’m not from Australia.
RCA: He’s from Boston, you pissant.
Omega: This is ridiculous, I’m the fucking War Dawg…they’ve teamed me with some bitches.
RCA: And the essence of perfection in myself. Don’t group me in with these yellow-bellied maggots.
Mark: Why do you use maggot all of the time?
RCA: Why do you smell like a rotting orange?
PX: Alright, enough! We’ve got to get something done here so Leon and Slegna can get off our backs.
Omega: He’s right, even if Sleg of all people should be rushing us about a promo.
RCA: He didn’t. The blue-balled Aussie did.
Omega: Skyler-lite?
Mark: Seriously man, get off of Drew’s nuts. Taking his insults now?
PX: What’s with that indigo hue?
Mark: Where?
Each of the panthers turn around. And all of a sudden…the prince of darkness appears.PX: Undertaker?
RCA: No you idiot. Seriously man, no more Guinness. Makes you crazy.
Seth/Mark/PX: OH REALLY, MR. VELVET-TEXTURED OASIS?
RCA looks away as a odd shade of violet hue of embarrassment flushes his face.RCA: Scored higher than most of you faggots’ work.
PX: So, if it isn’t Taker, who is it?
Omega: Ozzy Osbourne, James.
RCA: The rules say in character, Seth.
PX: Uh…that is my name.
RCA: No one gives a shit, FX.
Seth: FX, FX, has the movies!
PX: PX, PX, has the TV title!
Mark: This is gay.
RCA: Uber.
Seth: Truth.
PX: Lies!
RCA: What?
PX: TOO MANY LIES!
RCA: PX, your brother looks like Sheamus, NOT YOU. Killer song though.
Seth: Please, it’s all about Three Days Grace.
Mark: I could have shot all of you if I had my gun.
Ozzy grows tired of being ignored.Ozzy: I REQUEST THAT YOU TRAVERSE TO WHERE I CURRENTLY AM PRESENT!
RCA: Don’t do that, Celt will get mad.
Seth: Well he can do this promo then since he feels that way.
Ozzy: Come with me, and I’ll eat the head of a bat!
Seth: Dude, that’s hardcore, I’m down for that.
RCA: You’re down for anything, Seth.
Seth: Don’t judge me, assface.
Mark: Can this promo end yet?
PX: Yeah, I’m fucking dying here.
Seth: He has a point, it’s not like we have a chance anyway. That second competition was rigged.
RCA: Team Beat You To Death With Trombones owned the shit out of the Sex Panthers.
Mark: Let it go, Austin. We get it already.
RCA: How’s about you and your funky bunch get a Moment of Clarity, Marky Mark!
All of a sudden, a huge ass train runs into the building. No one is hurt.Ozzy: ALLLL ABOARRRRDDD!!!!!
Seth: Let’s just go, CZW is on.
PX: I’m with Seth for once. Let’s end this abomination.
Mark: There’s something we all could be doing more fun than this.
RCA: Like Annalisa…
Seth whips his head around in a mix of fear and rage.Seth: Come again?
RCA: I said watching Jenna Haze.
Mark: No you didn’t, Austin.
RCA: I KNOW WHAT I SAID.
PX: It doesn’t matter what he said. Let’s go.
The Sex Panthers each board the train and Ozzy boards last as the famous riff sends off the team into the next challenge, which they’ll likely lose since their team isn’t as stacked as the other ones, which leads RCA to leave us with this:RCA: Theory of Radicality #453: Leon and Slegna are fucking bastards, but they don’t compare to the undeniable douchebaggery and overall suckassedness that is the cult of Drew and whoever else is in this thing, not like they matter anyway. The Sex Panthers own damn hell ass. That is all.
Fade out.THE SEX PANTHERS
A great read, yet there was one that was greater.
One that tickled the belly a lil bit more.
Ladies and Gentlemen, your winners, with a total score of 6.25...Have you always got home and simply had no time to cook a 5 course meal?
Have you felt, jeez, why me? Why can't they simply cook for themselves?
What about it?
You have the blue eyed boy right here, and the girl with the ugly violet dress. Can't they cook for themselves, I've worked all day.
What say you kids? Are you tired of having to post whore your favorite Survivor Team win only to end up empty handed? Wouldn't you rather throw away those veggies and eat what you really want?
YES!!!YAY!!!
You enjoy this little Ben?
My names Timmy, sir. Not anymore, little Ben. Well, you no longer have to worry, because we have Ben Brand Bacon Bone to the rescue.
This succulent food is as easy to make, even old poor drunken dad can make it.
Camera pans to the couch were Dad is wearing a wife beater simply out cold with a few green bottles of Jaggermeister surrounding him. This seasoned to perfection food, can be cooked by the youngest of people.
You own an Easy Bake Oven? Did your daughter cry for months when she wanted it for Christmas only to find that you wasted your money as she's rather play doctor with the neighbors boy?
Well dust off the Oven and remove the neighbors' boy from your daughter and make her cook the family's meal. Ben Brand Bacon Bone can be safety cooked anywhere.
The hood of car? Check
On the fire pit of a hobo? Check.
On your mother and laws fat ass? Double check!
And what about all those crazy germs from under cooking raw meat?
Well don't worry, even if your mental challenged daughter doesn't fully cook our product in the Easy Bake Oven, you can simply eat it raw.
But don't take our word for it, speak to the C-4 Division Champion, Eric Scorpio.
Camera turns the Eric Scorpio would simply look unamused and punches the cameraman which leads to static and back to a picture of the Ben Brand Bacon Bone. And if you don't believe a champion, what about these other random men.
The camera points to Sean holding and showing off the Ben Brand Bacon Bone to Abel Steele and Damien Inferno, however, both men simply brush him aside and Sean Jensen looks dejected until a loud burst of smoke emanates from the ground, and from out of no where arm begins to rise out of the ground holding a package of Ben Brand Bacon Bone, the figure continues to rise until we clearly see that it is Ozzy Ozborne. Seemingly out of no where a mic drops down from the ceiling. Bringing Ozzy's lips to the mic. Pleeeeeeeeeease buy our product
It tastes really good at night
Baaaacon is tasty
It tastes even better in the light
We think you've found what you're looking for
Liiiiiiiiisten in awwwwwe as you heeeeeeeeeeear it
Sizzle at noon.
With eyes wide open, Abel and Damien being loading up their shopping carts as fast as they can, to the delight of a now teary smiling Sean Jensen. The camera cuts immediately to a a large fat man, and I mean FAT man simply wearing a stain riddled white shirt, smiling showing off his yellow teeth, frying up some Ben Brand Bacon Bone. Hi everyone.
I am the new owner of Ben Brand Bacon Bone and I'm here to talk about our wonderful product.
Every slice, comes from specifically aged meat, infuses with years of eating nothing but Ben Brand Bacon Bone, to give it that extra juicy flavor we have all grown to love. Then just before we package it, we add our secret ingredient... well... okay we spread orange colored oranges all over it. For that sweet sweet taste that calls home.
So please, when you crave that extra little something, but simple don't have the time, nor really care, just serve them Ben Brand Bacon Bone.
They'll be seeing red, if you feed them anything else instead!
The camera cuts to the vibrant Ben Brand Bacon Bone indigo colored logo before cutting to static. Hallowed Order of the Infernal Black Steele Clowns (H.O.I.B.S.C.)Congratulations to the HOIBSC, your 1st win and hopefully a change in momentum for you guys.
But unfortunately this means a sweet goodbye to 1 member from each other tribe, PLUS one extra member from each tribe (including the HOIBSC) due to lack of activeness.
Please PM me all your votes within 24hrs...lets not drag this out people.
Especially since Week 4 is going to be undebateably the best week ever.
Subject: FMW SURVIVOR III - Week 3 Challenge Results 
Wed Jan 27, 2010 2:11 am
